Thursday, December 12, 2013

Ten Things Thursday

It's been a freaking LOOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG ass time since I've done one of these babies!!!

1. Thanks Sarah G for commenting yesterday about the mastitis or whatever. I hadn't really even considered that, and didn't know that much about it. But after numerous google searches and friends sending me messages on FB, I can now say the girls are much happier today.

There were recommendations about everything from putting cabbage in my bra, to drinking mint tea, to taking sage supplements. I haven't had a chance to try any of those. But what did work was taking a hot shower and squeezing the ever-loving-Christ outta the lefty. Yup. Sure did. And it hurt, ohmygiddyaunt, so freaking bad. But once the pressure was relieved I actually felt like a normal tube-sock-ping-pong type of boobie girl! Cheers to that folks!!!

2. Through all this, I think I want a boob job. I mean, purely for selfish reasons. I'm pretty sure my husband could give 2 shits about what my chest looks like, I mean, he loves me just the way  I am. But man alive I feel like a 97 year old broad with these hangy down thingies. It's like I gotta roll them up just to put them in my bra. I just don't feel pretty damn it. And I wanna feel pretty!!! *cue whiny voice

OK, pouting over.

3.  So I started the No-Poo thing last week. Today is day 7. Here's day 5:
This is at like 6am, so that's why I'm all sad sack suzie.

But so far, anyway, my hair looks good.

THIS website was very informative. So is THIS one. And THIS one.<-----That's the best website.

Basically, you use a baking soda and water mixture for your shampoo and an apple cider & water mixture for your conditioner. The process is all about getting your hair back to it's 'natural' state, without all the chemicals and crap that come with commercial shampoos, conditioners, hairsprays, etc. Those things leave a coating on your hair that forces you to continue to use them.

The No-Poo method helps you get over that hump and then have your hairs natural oils be all the product you need.

So far I'm in the waxy, stringy, dry stage, so I'm going to up my baking soda a little and keep at it another week. The only real thing I've noticed is that my hair seems 'thicker' and is MUCH easier to brush through. It dries differently too. Not better or worse, but just different. Hard to explain. Another bonus, I don't have to buy shampoo or conditioner! Love that!

Anyway. I'll keep you posted. I'm trying to remember to take pics and everything.

4. OMG. My friend at work just emailed me this video and it's hilarious!

5.  I know we just got over Halloween and all, but I couldn't resist posting this.

Poor Dillyn. But she is going to be this next year:
How freaking cute is that?!?!
And I can probably make that entire thing.
OMG, I Can't.Freaking.Wait!

6.  I'm still on the Make Sugar My Bitch thing. It's still a constant struggle and it's been infinitely harder right now with the holidays and food every.fucking.where. But I'm still truckin' along. Thank Miss Fattypants that I've got a great support group! You girls Rock!!!

7.  Oh, and I'm still going to the gym. The only week I've taken off in like forever has been Thanksgiving week. I don't rockstar it every day or anything, but on average I get there at least twice, each for an hour. So that's something.  I also have a great support group for that too! Thanks to my girls Chassity and Savannah!!!! It's sooooooSOSOSO much easier to MAKE yourself exercise when you know someone else is going with you.

And I've figured out that it truly and deeply helps my depression. I mean, I'm on meds and all, but the weeks/days I exercise, I feel like Mary fucking Poppins on speed. It's amazeballs. I'm not quite at the 'addicted' part, but I'm close.

8.  Tomorrow is Friday the 13th.

9.  Thank you all for your comments about my bio father the other day. I'm still up in the air about it all. On one hand I really want answers, even if I know they're lies. On the other, I feel like it's opening up a can of stanky worms (not to be confused with sKanky worms, because those bitches are hoes). I think I've come to the conclusion that writing him an email is the way to go. That way I'm not 'talking' to him, and we still have a pretty good barrier up. I still haven't had the time or energy to write out what I want to say exactly. So I'm just going to wait till I find it.

10. Here's a shout out to my homies at The Print Shop:


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Breast talk at it's best.

**Attention Gentlemen: While this post IS all about the's not quite what you're thinking, or hoping. It's more about what nature intended the torpedoes to do, rather than what you think their purpose is. So you're advised to skip this post for your own good.

For those of you that don't know what happens when you stop nursing, pay attention. And I'm not talking about quitting a medical field job. I'm talking about the child stuck to your boob 24/7 feeding type nursing. For those that DO know, please laugh along with me.

So, yes, I stopped breastfeeding Miss D this week because, well, my milk supply has slowly become non-existent. I started her on formula a few weeks ago, so that's been going good. And I had hoped to build my milk back up...but no dice.

Getting to the point....I stopped on Sunday.
And now it feels like there's a grapefruit trying to exit my nipple on my left bazooka. Not my right mind you, just my left. OH yes, another fine perk of breastfeeding. My right boobazzle is SIGNIFICANTLY smaller than my left. It pretty much resembles a tube sock with a ping pong on the end. Very sexy.  Whereas my left knocker is rock FUCKING hard and the size of a bowling ball. So instead of having two nice headlights....I only have one.....that's permanently on bright. FML.

Oh, and you know what else is hunkingfuckingdorey?
The fact that if a mosquito farted near my left coconut I'd fall to the floor in agonizing pain. At this point, I'd rather just have no thingamajugs. Nope. None. Nada. Rather than have to deal with the constant excruciating pain that is my 'milk hardening'. Seriously. Last night at work, I was changing out the kazillion gallon water cooler jug, and as I was putting the new one on top it accidentally fell on my left jug. I thought I was going to pass out. There I am, bent over, screaming constant F bombs, while grabbing my chest. It made a pretty picture.

Actually, all I want to do is hold my hurting konga all day, and not in the ooolala way either. For some reason, just putting pressure helps. But, I have to catch myself 'putting pressure' to my oompa in the middle of the day. I'm pretty sure the 75% male work force here is just loving this. *palm to face.

Well, that's it for me.
Good talk.

What's new with you???
Anyone else having pointer-sister issues?

(PS: How many of you loved my use of boob-vocabulary. I'm pretty proud of myself there. hehehe)

Friday, December 6, 2013

Cheers to blogging about randomness.


I've tried to think of something enlightening and uplifting to write about.....then I remembered I'm neither of those things. And this blog is definitely never done any of that shiznit! lol

New with me: I'm still a mom. I haven't somehow screwed that up yet. But this cutie pie makes it easy:

I can't make this shit up.
She poses like this on her own. Clearly she's more photogenic than her mother. (who likes being behind the camera for a reason.)

Fun fact #498: That rocking chair......That was my grandmothers, and she gave it to me. Funny thing, there's a little 'stain' on the seat.....well, that'd be from yours truly when I was a baby. I crawled up in the chair and wet my pants. Like all cool girls do. Well, it left a stain. And even after my grandma had the chair redone, it's still there. How cute is that?! Maybe D will take pics of her daughter in this chair someday.

Other news.....ummmm, I've been going to the gym still with some badass work chicas. I'm down to 162.5, but I fit in my size 8 pre-preggars jeans!!!! Woop woop!

Work sucks dinosaur balls. Still. God, could they all just leave me the fuck alone?!?! It's kinda funny, there's a lot of manipulating assholes that work there. And I pretty much want to tell them to shut their dickhole (thank you Rebecca's sister for that lovely word) every other minute. But I don't. Mostly. Good news is I see thru their dogshit and am heading them off. Dear moron: You think you can get rid of me......mawahahaha....oh no you dit-ent. I will make your life hell. Because that's the kind of bitch I am. Spank you very much for hiring me.

You ever have that feeling that everything in your life is going completely fantastic, but there's this one part where you want to have a mulligan? OK, maybe not a mulligan, but maybe a chance to let things die. But in a good way? I'm still struggling with how my bio dad, Martin, is a life sucking lying shithead. It's not that I want to start a relationship back up with him, obviously, it's just that I want closure. I can't forgive him. But yet, I can't move on. And for my mental sake, I sooooo need to move on. How do you let go of something that has been the most horrific and yet defining point in your life? I hate, literally and seriously HATE him and what he's done to me but more importantly my family. My mom. His 2nd wife. And my current 'extra' mom. How?!

My counselor says that forgiving isn't condoning, it's allowing the past not to control you anymore. How in the fucking hell do you get past the feeling that if you forgive, you're saying that what they did was 'ok'?!

But more importantly, how do you get over something that controlled your life for 31ish years, made you the strong, independent, and 97% screwed you the fuck up???
Riddle me that asswipe.

My counselor said that I need to talk to him. That I need to ask my questions and hear his answers and that will give me closure. I know I can't see him in person. So I said that a phone conversation might be ok. But truly....the only question I have is WHY? And I know that when he answers, the diarrhea that spouts from his mouth will be lies. Because that's what he does.....lie. Manipulate. Twist reality.

Lord I need to let go of the hate.

So, do I call him and ask WHY? knowing that I'll get told lies. But that I might end up feeling some closure? Or do I continue with the hate? Hoping that time heals.

Sorry, that was super depressiontown. But that's what I've wanted to write about, but just haven't had the guts.

In conclusion, life is great. But I still need help. Seems to be a pattern.

Y'all stay warm now!
With beers.
It helps.