Thursday, April 25, 2013

Ten Things Thursday

Yaaaaayyyyy!! Randompants day!!

1. So I missed last week. I know, I know. I suck. Get over it. I have about 80 bagazillion things going on and work is a suckhole straight to Hell. Needless to say blogging has taken a back seat to.....everything.

But, it doesn't fail. My poor worrisome mother calls me Thursday night....or was it Friday. I'm not sure. And was all, "ARE YOU OK?!?!?! You didn't blog?!?! I'm worried."

Christ Mother.

I'm sure I'll be exactly the same way with our little Princess.

2.  Why oh why can't I look like this:
And not like this:

Oh ya, it's because I've determined ice cream and donuts a major food group.

3.  We're having a garage sale this weekend. Let me try to contain my excitement. Actually, you can't even call it a garage's more like a liquidation sale. Hey, you'll give me 2 quarters for that end table.....It's Yours!! A buck for that computer......Take It!!! Basically, by the end of the day we'll be having a 'Free Sale'. Because I'm not moving that shit.

Now, while I hate having a garage sale.....I love going to garage sales! It's like a treasure hunt!!! No wonder we have to have a sale of our own every year, because I keep bringing home 'treasures' from others piles of crap. Damn vicious cycle.

4.  Who in their right mind thinks this is a good idea???
I mean, really.
Dressing like your daughter.....but then like your daughter's DOLL too?!
That's a little extreme, people.

And if you have ever, or plan on, doing deserve to be made fun of. I'm not one bit sorry.

5.  I just remembered this. Last weekend when Ryan and I were getting ready to go to KC, I was getting dressed and I had this little tank top/under shirt type thing on and my jeans. I turned in the mirror and was like, WOW! The 'girls' were really making an appearance. Yes, the tatas keep growing and I have to wear tank tops to keep everything in. Here's the conversation that followed:

Me: "Jesus, do you see how big the Girls are getting?!?! They're enormous!!!"

Ryan: "Ya, they're getting pretty big."

Me: "I know, this is crazy! They've never been this big!"

Ryan: "Too bad it's not going to last."

Me (all sadpants): "Ya, I know."

Ryan: "Well, they might still be big......but they're going to be real looooong."

Me: Awesome.

Then I proceeded to laugh my ass off for 10 minutes because I kept picturing saggy old lady tatas. Like socks with a golf ball on the end.

Still makes me giggle.

6.  HEY!!! To anyone and everyone that comments on my little bloggy blog: IF I DO NOT REPLY TO YOUR COMMENTS BY EMAIL, THEN I DON'T HAVE YOUR EMAIL!!!!

So please send me your email!!!

I try to reply back to comments through email to EVERYONE! And if you haven't gotten a little love note from me, then I don't have your email address and you're listed as 'no comment@blah blah stupid' so I can't reply back.

Off the top of my head I don't have Didi's or Deirdre's. And I can't think of the others.

Please send me your email. Pretty please?!?! (laurawiksten @ hotmail . com)
Oh and put something like 'Blog Buddy' in the subject line or something so I know it's not spam.
Spank You!

7. Well, I just hit 'Publish' and didn't mean to. Damn it.

8. The hubby and I went turkey hunting a few weeks ago. No luck for me. But the hubby got one! Here's some pics because I clearly look so good in camo that I want the whole interwebs to know. Forever.
Don't be jealous.
Look how well I blend in!

Ms. Stealth Turkey Hunter.

Awww. The lovely matching couple.
9. I have not kept up with y'all's blogs lately. I apologize. I've just been so busy. But I'll get back into it when we get moved. So a few more weeks. Please still love me!!!!

10.  Cheers to a weekend of garage sales, packing, moving, and SUNSHINE!!! Mother Nature has finally decided to pull her head out and give us a decent spring! 70+ for Sat. and Sun.!!! Woop woop!!!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Dead Cat Sunbathing and 'Can you google -Replace Vinyl Siding-???'

Well, I had an interesting weekend. And I shall share it with you.
In case you were just dying to know.
In case you weren't......tough shit, I'm sharing anyway.

So it started all normal-like with a dinner with friends on Friday night, at this fabulous small town restaurant called The Hoof & Horn. Seriously. Only in Kansas.

Actually, it really was fabulous. It was down home cookin', like chicken fried steak the size of my ass (which is.........large), fries dripping in grease, and a hot fudge brownie sundae to hit the bottom of your gut like a 2 ton brick type home cookin'.

Baby was in Heaven.

Ok. Lets be honest. Mama was in Heaven too.

We then headed to Kansas City on Saturday because Ryan had a Bachelor Party. Yes, we're 32 years old, have a baby on the way, and we're still going to Bachelor Party's. We'll, not 'we', more like 'Ryan'. Shit needs to stop I tell you. Luckily this is the 'last' friend that's single in our little group. Everyone else is married, has kids, or is planning on having kids. We're the fall-asleep-at-8pm-after-watching-HGTV type people. Not have-chugging-contests-while-at-a-BYOB-strip-club-bachelor-party type people. Wow. If that doesn't scream 'old tits' I don't know what does. Christ.

Anyways, so while Ryan was knee deep in g-strings, I was spending time with my long lost bestie, Mandy!! Mandy and I met in college.....which in itself is an interesting story.

So it was a normal Wed. night and a small group of friends were sitting outside getting shitfaced (because this is what you did in college, doesn't matter the day), and Mandy and another friend Marcia come over. They were mutual friends of a friend of mine, and we instantly became buddy-buddy. I mean, what says friendship like a firepit, endless booze, and a next day hangover???!!!

Well, the next day we were chatting on the phone and Mandy said she had to go back home for the weekend for her brothers homecoming celebration (he was overseas in the military). Then, this is the semi-weird, but to me totally normal part, she invites me to come up and stay with her and her family. Totally normal. I've known her for about 2.2 days and half of which I was wasted. It's fine.

Of course I said yes. I mean, drive 2 hours to spend 2 days with random strangers with unlimited alcohol??? What the hell else do I gotta do?!

Once I get up to her hometown, the night proceeds to be a normal small town celebration at the Legion, where you drink Natty Light out of a can and you can't see 2 feet in front of your face because of all the smoke.  2am rolls around pretty fast, and when you're young and dumb, your night is just beginning. So we grabbed the closest/cutest boys to us and demanded they drive us around in their beefy pick-up truck to 'country cruise'. We had no beer, so I think we had to steal it out of someone's parents house. And we set off for a night....errr morning.....of fun.

Things get a little fuzzy at this point (imagine that), but I do remember ending up in Herkimer, KS, which is about spitting distance from the Nebraska state line. We somehow ran out of beer in the wee early morning hours and decided to crash at one of the cutey's house till the next day (which would be Sunday).

Upon waking Sunday, we found the weather to be a balmy 60 degrees, and BONUS, we found 2 beers in the cooler!!! Nice and warm from the night before. Mandy and I promptly decided this deserved a little morning lawn/tanning/drinking session. So we pull out a blanket, threw the beers in the freezer to chill for a minute and proceeded to enjoy the sun in the middle of this small ass country town, at a house that we aren't totally for sure who owned.

Ohhhhhh, college.

This is the point when things started to go down hill.

We quickly drank our one beer each, and decided that we needed more. Possibly a lot more. So we picked up our bottles, and went to grab the blanket that we'd been laying on for about an hour.

That's when we saw fur.
A lot of fur.
All over the grass.
Right where we were laying.

At first I was all, 'What the f*ck is that?!?! A dead mouse? A Sasquatch?'

Ohhhh no. It was a DEAD CAT!! A dead FLAT cat!! That obviously had been dead for awhile.

We'd been laying on a dead flat cat for an hour. *shivers*

We both jumped, screamed like the girls we are, and ran into the house in hysterics. The boys thought we were nuts. But they quickly calmed us with a trip to Nebraska for more beer. This all happened at 10am in the morning, mind you. I blame lack of sleep and alcohol consumption on our lack of visual awareness of dead animals in the tanning location.

Our road trip ended up lasting the entire day of Sunday, and part of Monday too. I think we were totally drunk for about 2.5 straight days.

But you know what comes after a 2.5 day bender, tanning on a dead cat, small towns, and 597 gallons of gas???? A friendship that has lasted forever. We are probably the only people on the planet to sun tan on a dead cat carcass.

Through the years we've had many completely wacked-out crazy shitscapades of similar experiences. All involving copious amounts of alcohol. (shocker)

Sadly Mandy moved to New York right after my wedding, almost 4 years ago, and I haven't been able to talk to her, or to see her, at all.

BUT!!! She recently moved back to KC, and I just HAD to see her!!
So, that's what I did last weekend while Ryan was babysitting 32 year old drunk bachelor monkeys.

And again, it was a shitscapade of epic proportion. Only difference this time.....we were stone sober. Both of us. Which was a first.

Mandy wanted to grill me dinner, but didn't know how to run the grill. Being the tom-boy that I am, it was no problem for me. I should point out that Mandy is RENTING this place from a friend of hers, so nothing in this house is really hers.....including the grill.

First was bacon wrapped jalapeno's.......


I'll just show you in pictures:

Slightly overdone.
A smidge crispy.
Blackened style.

They were seriously on the grill for like 5 minutes. Completely the grill's fault.

Well, as I'm trying not to singe my eyebrows off while taking all these bad boys off the grill, I failed to notice one very important detail about the lid........



Mainly, that it was resting against the f*cking house!!!!


And I'm sober!!!

I have nothing to blame this on except for my epic stupidity!

Can you imagine if we were normal shitpants wasted?!?! There'd probably be no house. There'd be burnt toothpicks left.

Note to self: Do not grill if you do not own said grill or house. Ever. EverEverEver.

Shit like this only happens to Mandy and I.
Long live the Mandy Moo and La La Shitscapades!!!!

BTW, there is a completely educational vinyl replacement video on YouTube taught by an old balding Jersey dude who wear's a shirt that says, 'I'm Too Sexy For My Hair', that is well worth the 8 minutes to watch. Just google it.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Pregnancy - WEEK 22 (Apr 14th – Apr 20th)

Since last week I was all ‘pity poor little pregnant me’, this week I’ll try to be a little more upbeat. You’re welcome.

First of all, life is getting more and more hectic. Every. Second. And I know it’s just going to get worse (way to be upbeat, huh). So it’s been hard to focus on the wee little one. It’s been hard to focus in general! Lol.

Lots of changes happening with me this week! Obviously, you can see the belly is sticking out just a tad more! I have noticed that while it’s pouching out the front….it’s REALLY pouching out the sides. As in, my ample pear shape (pre-pregnancy) now looks like a elephant’s ass attached to Barbie’s upper body. It’s lovely.

Another yippee skippee change is that I think I’m starting to develop water retention in my legs. I’ve noticed when I take my socks off at night that there’s a nice puffy line where they stopped. Awesomesauce.

But you know what makes all this worthwhile??? Baby girl! And her moving around CONSTANTLY! Serious. Girl is like a circus acrobat in there. All.Damn.Day. This morning I woke up at 3am (yes the peeing 4 times a night thing has started back up and I’m super excited about it), and all she did was just push and kick and roll. It’s the most amazing feeling! I tried to see if I could feel it with my hand, but I think my placenta is still in front of her enough to block it. Damn it.  But then all day today she’s being doing backflips. First she’s over on the left side, elbowing her way through my insides. Next she’s somersaulted over to my right side with a healthy roundhouse kick. I’m starting to wonder if Ryan’s little swimmers are part Chuck Norris. I know this activity level doesn’t come from my side. We’re lazy asses. We like naps. We LIVE for naps. So this kung foo-ness is all Ryan’s fault. Anyone surprised at this??? Yup, me neither.

Ohhhhh, and let’s talk about the potty sitch. Holy Rocket Ship Toilet Seats people. I bet you I’m in the bathroom 18 times a day. That’s no exaggeration. I straight up peed at 3am, 4am, 5am, and 6am, then at 8am when I got to work today. I think that’s slightly excessive, don’t you?!?! And I still have like 3.5 months to go with this shit!!! Or I guess I should say ‘piss’. Clearly Baby Girl likes to camp out on mama’s bladder, and she sees fit to not budge. Super.

Last major addition to the ‘symptoms’ of pregnancy…….gas. Yup. Just call me Queen Flatulence. I’ve just given up trying to hide it now. I just let ‘em go. I kinda feel bad for my co-workers. Kinda.

So, I should probably give an update on the housing issue. It’s not good folks. We didn’t get our ‘dream home’. Because the sellers are a bunch of stuck up candy ass losers didn’t like our offer. So, we just let it go. We’re keeping a positive attitude that our ‘perfect’ home is still out there, and we’ll find it eventually. We are still closing on our house May 10th, and I’ve been busy packing, packing, packing. Unfortunately, Ryan’s been working super overtime, so it’s been a lot to deal with for me. But after this week, his schedule should slow down and he’ll be able to help more. Two weeks and we’ll be out of our home. TWO WEEKS!! I can’t believe it.

Luckily, we’ve found a rental that will do a short term lease. It’s a house, with a backyard, and they will allow the spoiled rotten 1st ‘child’. BTW, this is Wyatt’s idea of packing:


All in all, we’re playing the waiting game. There’s no real house out there that we’re interested in. So we’re just waiting for the right one to come on the market. I’ll let you know how everything goes!

Moving on to Baby Girl!!! Holy Cow! She’s already a pound in there! (I wonder how the other 19 lbs I’ve gained happened???? Just kidding, I know that’s the placenta…..right?) Besides all the moving and shaking she’s doing she’s also able to grab things now. Like the umbilical cord. Her sense of touch is getting stronger every day, so she’s probably dying to feel everything! Her sense of sight is also developing, she can perceive light and dark much better than before. Except, it’s always dark in there, unless I shine a flashlight on my belly, which I’m totally going to do later tonight. The eyes, eyelashes, and eyebrows have now fully formed, and even more hair on her little head! Although right now it has no pigment, so it’s stark white. How cool is that?! She’ll probably end up coming out with dark or black hair, seeing as both Ryan and I have dark hair. But you never know!

I’m just so excited for her to get here and for me to see her cute little face!!!

The sun is shining, I have ice cream, and I haven’t peed in 2 hours. It’s a good day folks. A very good day!

Monday, April 15, 2013


Raise your hand if you despise Mondays????

Yup. I knew it. All y'all raised your hands.

S'Ok, Sarah and I are going to invent a new world where the work week starts on Tuesday, ends on Wednesday, and the Thursday - Monday is the weekend. And beer has no calories. And ice cream is a major food group that must be consumed daily, without the added weight to your badunkadunk.

You should come!
Everyone's invited.

Except for The Biebster.
He's annoying and can rot on the regular world with their regular work week. And fat ice cream.

Moving on.

Sooooo, my computer broke.
I think I mentioned that last week.
Well, I now know what exactly is wrong with it........
...........It's a big piece of shit.

Hey, HP, I have a little present for you:

A 4 year old computer and it's already taken a big dump.

Good news!!!!
I get to spend $2000 on a Mac!!!!

Well, the spending 2K on a computer is not the good news. But getting a Mac is!!

I'm tired of dropping $800 every 5 years to replace my computer. I should have just bought a Mac in the first place.

So I convinced the hubby we need to make a large purchase (other than a house, and baby shit). I bribed him with 'special hunting' time. Just kidding. Maybe. ;-)
And I think I'll be ordering it this week.

In other news.....
Sitting in the woods, on the hard dirt floor, waiting for Mr. Turkey to make an appearance in front of my shotgun, is not good on the already f*cked up tailbone. I feel like I'm walking around with a stick up my butt because it hurts so bad to move. And then people look at me like I had this wild orgy weekend, but in truth, it's all because of a stupid feathered bird. (Wait, that sounds bad.) Which, I might add, eluded me all weekend. No gobble gobble for me. The hubby got one. And 2 out of 3 buddies got one. But none for moi.

Hey, Turkey's, look at the above picture!
My tailbone is showing you another type of 'bird'.

Good news is my Mom's 'Turkey' (go to #6) is still standing upright and just waiting for a good kill shot.

Hope y'all's weekend was great!!
Let's have a fan-freaking-tastic week, mmmkay?!?!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Pregnancy - WEEK 21 (Apr 8th – Apr 13th)

Well, Hello Wyatt! ^

Yay for getting my weekly update done on time!!! Woop woop!!!

First things first, we didn’t get the dream house. The seller was ‘insulted’ by our offer. Well, let me tell you something Asshat: You can’t list a property that neither YOU nor YOUR REALTOR have seen in 3 years, and expect to get what it was worth 3 years ago……especially when the last tenants trashed it. So have fun paying 2 mortgages, because no one is going to give you your asking price for a piece of property that’s 40 minutes from civilization and needs 20K worth of work. (Besides us, of course.)

There. That’s my bitch for the day. I’m done. Kinda.

I’m not going to lie, I was really thinking this was going to be the answer to our prayers. I mean, the house is perfect for us, and it came on the market just in time to move from our current house to that one, with no need to rent or move a 3RD time. I was stoked! Everything was going to work out!! So I thought.

Now that it’s not, I really got down about it. But I talked with my Mom and she said that maybe there’s another property that’s even better than this one, and everything happens for a reason, and we’ll be fine, and blah blah blahbity blah. And today I’m feeling a little better about it, but I’m still disappointed. Oh well.

It’s just that I didn’t expect things to be like this. I mean, what I pictured, when I got pregnant, was decorating the nursery and picking out bedroom furniture, and buying stuffed animals. And really relishing in the fact that we’re having a little one, ya know? And now it just seems like all the attention is on a house, or moving, or bills, or can we afford this, and we don’t have any time to do anything, and packing up our endless shit. I just hate it. This is not what it was supposed to be like.

And I had my 32nd birthday last week and it was about as exciting as doing the above packing…..while in a coma. My birthday has always been one of those things that I’ve loved because all the attention is on me!! Lol. But this year….not so much. And it’s ok, but it just sucks. The one special day all about myself, and all I did was buy size LardAss maternity pants, venture to Wally World for potato salad, and drop $25 on a ice cream cake. Parrrrr-Tay.

Oh, and my PC broke at home. Like we have the money for that. Hopefully the IT guru at work can fix it. If not, I’m dropping the $$$ for a Mac. I just bought that computer like 4 years ago. And it’s already shit. $800 down the drain. Awesome.

I know, I’m whining.  And I know that not everyone gets what they want.  And I know that no one ever has a perfect pregnancy or even what they imagined it to be like comes true. But damn it, that’s what this blog is; a place for me to whine. And bitch. And complain. So there.

I’ll get over it. I always do.

I’m trying to be positive.
I’m trying to look on the bright side.
But sometimes it’s just too much.

I mean, since a little before Christmas, we found out we’re having a baby, I’ve dis-owned my biological father, we sold our house, we have yet to find a new house, we have to move to a rental (which means moving 3 times), I’m working overtime, I didn’t get a birthday really, and I may have to buy a new computer.

Yup, just a little too much for this chica who sits on the edge of being laced up in a straight jacket and shoved in a mental ward, on a good day.

And maybe it’s the hormones, because I feel like balling about every 5 seconds this week.
Regardless, it’s done. It’s over with.
Moving on.

Ok, so besides the whining and weepiness, things are just dandy! I noticed that I’ve been getting tired easily. Last Mon. night I was packing, cleaning, and doing laundry from the minute I walked in the door till my head hit the pillow and just plain exhausted myself. So on Tues. night, when I got home from work, I pretty much just went to bed. But I’ve decided not to push myself. I’m just going to do some packing for an hour or two every night, then relax for another couple hours. That way I get stuff done, but I’m not killing myself.

I have yet to get back to the gym. I just don’t have time. I’d have to get up at Satan’s asscrack to work out in the morning (and we all know that’s not going to happen), and by the time I get home and eat, then start packing, it’s almost 8pm and I’m ready for bed. So, I’m trying to take the stairs at work. And get up and walk every few hours, just around the buildings. And I think the packing and being on my feet when I get home counts as something. Actually, I don’t give two shits if it counts or not. I’m counting it. So there. Basically I’m not going to worry about it until we get moved.

As far as eating goes, I’m also not worrying about it so much. I’m trying to get in protein and veggies. It happens. Every so often. But I’m really trying to make an effort to get more in every day. I’m counting that too.

Good news is I’m not a raging chocoholic lately!!! Dolphin claps for me.

I’ve been munching on a little chocolate for a lunch snack, and then something at dinner, but I’m not wanting to shove it in my hole 23.6 hours a day or anything. So that’s good.

The belly is getting bigger and more tight (even though you can't tell in the above picture). I still think I look like I went on a beer bender for two months, but every so often I’ll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and think, ‘Oh ya, you’re pregnant!’

BTW, the LardAss maternity pants I bought last weekend don’t fit me now. They’re too big. Apparently I was smoking the magic pipe when I tried those on at the store. I now have to take them back and re-live the whole experience. I’m thrilled.

OK! On to Baby Girl!!!

No, we’re not telling the name. So sorry. You’ll just have to wait another 19 weeks (….Miss Laura O.!).

She’s been a little quiet this week. Only moving around after my cracked-out packing mission I went on Mon. night. Apparently she hates moving as much as her mama does. 

This week Baby Girl is about 11 inches and weighs about 11 ounces. She’s been swallowing several ounces of amniotic fluid each day, not only for nutrition and hydration, but to practice those swallowing skills! Apparently the fluid tastes like whatever I ate during the day. And she’ll remember that when she’s older. Here’s to another chica loving jalapenos, Toaster Strudels, pizza, and ice cream (not all mixed together)!! It also means that I REALLY need to be eating veggies, because she’ll get used to the taste now and like it more later on. Unlike me, who grew up hating veggies. **Note to self: Eat those veggies!!!

She’s also still twisting, turning, and doing the occasional summersault. She’s still got plenty of room in there, but pretty soon, that cramped feeling will come when she’s too big to do much. Better practice now little one!!!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Pregnancy - WEEK 20 (Apr 1st – Apr 7th)


Can you believe it?!?!

Ya, me neither.

Just seems like yesterday I peed on that little pink stick. And now I’m halfway to giving birth to this adorable little nugget. Cray cray!!!

I know, I’m like a week behind. But it’s been a stressful/busy couple of weeks. Hopefully it’ll slow down once we get our house. (Keep your fingers crossed!!)

Week 20 was pretty uneventful. Biggest thing is Baby Girl’s been moving around…a LOT. I can feel her sometimes 3 times a day or more. And it usually coincides with meal times. Her kicks/summersaults/punches/acrobatics are getting stronger, and I’m hoping that in a few more weeks Ryan can start feeling something.

As far as me…..Well, my ass is huge. According to the doctor’s office flat chested bitch from Hell (aka, scale), I’ve only gained 3 pounds from last month. But holy moly, I’m pretty sure that I’m growing in inches. As in inches WIDE. The tatas are continuing to get bigger and bigger. I put on one of my bathing suits last week to lay out….you know, the suit that was too big for my little acorns last summer, well The Girls barely fit in it now. Actually, they didn’t fit. I had to change because it was so uncomfortable. This is all very badass on one hand, but I just keep visualizing my girls shrinking to little shriveled socks after the baby comes and my milk goes away. Like two socks with a golf ball at the end. Not pretty folks. Not pretty at all.

OH, and my thighs. WOOOOOOWWWWWW, thunder thighs. Seriously. It’s like my femurs swallowed two gigantic watermelons.

I bought some maternity jeans the other day…..not a pleasant experience. I had to go up 3 sizes from my normal size 8. I almost shanked the sniveling, pimple-faced dressing room kid that was all, ‘And how did those fit?!?!’ Well, you little shit, if you must know, they fit about as well as my ass trying on a pair of Barbie jeans. Mmmmkay? Back off with your enthusiasm or I’m going to thump you in your still growing Adams apple.

And really, I have no one but myself to blame for this. Eating donuts and ice cream and shit all day….what did I think was going to happen?!?!

At this point, now I just want to keep up with the walking, do what makes me happy, and worry about it later. I just don’t have another ounce in my body (well, apparently judging by my increased jean size, I have plenty of ounces, but just roll with me here), to worry about one more thing.

I’m pregnant. I’m fat. I’m ok with it.

Other than that, I still have a non-sleeping issue, but mainly it’s been due to a sick hubby and being out of town. My energy level is still up, and I’m feeling pretty good in general. 

Baby Girl has been a busy bee this week with the whole growth thing! She weighs a whopping 10 ounces now, and is probably about 6.5 inches long. Her uterus is fully formed this week and is also forming primitive little eggs so that some day she can become a mommy!  She’s also got working taste buds and has been swallowing lots of amniotic fluid for her nutrition.

We do think we’ve come up with a name…..and no, we’re not telling! Let’s just say that Ryan thought of it, and while I love it, I just wish I would have had some input. He’s now come up with both the boy and the girl name. I’m jealous, alright. I’m allowed. 20 more weeks and you’ll find out what it is!!!