Friday, March 21, 2014

End of week update.....on EVERYTHING

OK. It looks like it might be 3 Things Friday today. Because I was so hopped up on the oil pulling crap yesterday, that's all I wanted to talk about, and didn't do TTT. But now I have loads to talk about today! Yippee skippy for y'all.

1. OK. First off, my diet and exercise has been eh, pretty good this week. Monday thru Wed I rocked it. Yesterday I was planning on doing 30 Day Shred after work and then my body decided to have an allergic reaction to some meds I'm taking. Hives everywhere. I thought I was going to come out of my skin. Seriously. I freaking hate hives. I took Benadryl and all went away, but I was in a Benadryl coma for the rest of the night and this morning, so working out wasn't really an option. I'd probably drop a damn dumbbell on my face or something.  I'm going to try and run tonight right after work. Check that. I WILL run tonight after work! That's better.

As far as food, I had one slip up last night, and I completely blame the Benadryl. 3 cheese tortilla roll ups and 3 Thin Mints. I didn't even step on the scale this morning fearing the worst. But I've decided that everyone 'slips' once in a while and the rest of the week I've been stellar. So I'm good with whatever the scale says tomorrow.

Just an FYI, I've mostly been eating clean, or as clean as possible. Chex for breakfast, veggies and rice for lunch, then some left over spaghetti for dinner. I'll tell you this tho, having pre-made meals in my fridge has saved me!!! A few nights ago I wanted bad stuff, but I remembered I had veggies and rice, so I just pulled that out and mowed it down. I'm going to make sure my fridge is stocked full of meals for the week now! It's truly a life-saver!

I'm already down 2.5 pounds!!! Woop woop! 

2. Running. Ok, so I'm back to running and I've learned a few things from taking a year off.

First off, when starting out, I think it's a GREAT idea to start on the treadmill so that you can work out your breathing and pace. I started doing .25 miles at a time, then walking .25, then running .25, and so on. Until I got to 2 miles or so. Then each week I'd up it by a 1/4 of a mile.  I got to the point that I was almost running 1 mile without stopping. In hind sight I probably should have kept up the treadmill before going outside on pavement.....but whatevs.

Let me give you a little tip: When you're about to go on your first run outside in over a year, don't take the freaking dog and push a baby stroller while running on gravel, mmmmkay????!!!!! Mmkay.

Seriously, WTF was I thinking.

I mean, it was so nice and I thought that I'd take it slow and it'd be all good.

So there I am, I get the kid wrangled in the stroller, tie the dog leash to the handle, get my ear buds in, yank the leash to the dog back to the stroller otherwise we'd have baby doing the next And then I start.

Mind you, our driveway is gravel, then the loop around the 'neighborhood' is about .5 miles, with most of it blacktop, but the last 1/4 of it is pure, straight up, small ass, pebble gravel/a sand death trap from Hell.

I make it down the gravel and start off on the easy blacktop. I'm feeling pretty good. And by 'pretty good', I mean I think my legs are going to collapse at any minute, my lungs are going to explode, and it's only been a tenth of a mile. Awesomesauce.

I keep yanking the dog back so he doesn't get in front of the stroller then I bump into his ass, which he takes as a sign to STOP. At which point, I almost flip over the stroller. The whole time I'm thinking, 'Please Baby Jesus do not let any of the neighbors that I've barely met see this Country Wiksten's Psycho Circus.'

We finally ALL get in a rhythm. But then we're approaching the last part of the loop.....dun, dun, dunnnnnn, the sand pit of death! I've been running the entire time, so I'm pretty pumped up and proud of myself, so I figure I can just push through that sand like the parting of the Red Sea or some shit like that.

I would like to point out that the stroller that I'm running with is NOT one of those fancy Running Strollers with the souped up tires. It is our normal walking Chicco brand stroller with four tiny ass wheels. I may as well been pushing a semi truck with flat tires though an ocean of nacho fucking cheese.

Needless to say, I pushed though and the minute I hit the blacktop, I slowed down to a walk.

If you ever want to challenge yourself, for the love of god just push a stroller on gravel. It'll do the trick.

I did make it around for 1.5 miles finishing in about 22 minutes. Not the best time, but for my first time on the 'pavement' I'll take it!

PS: I ran the next night with no dog and no stroller and did 2 miles in 25 minutes. Ya. Just a little bit of a difference there! lol

3. Oil pulling. I'm on day three and I've made a revelation. I CAN NOT. REPEAT. CAN NOT chew up the oil till it melts. I gagged so hard I nearly spit it all up. I've decided to slightly melt the oil now before putting it in my mouth. Once it's melted it just feels like swishing saliva in my mouth. But chewing that shit while it's in it's 'solid' state.......nope. Can't do it. *shivers*

Here's some before pics. Not the best lighting, but it was early and I clearly wasn't in a perfect picture take mood.
And the winner for best smile goes toooooooo.......

Clearly I should make this my profile picture. Sweet Jesus.

All in all, I'm digging the pulling of the oil and I'm going to keep it up. It doesn't take that much and if it helps with all that it says it will, then why the eff not. Ya know?!

OK, that about does it for me on updates. We've got a full weekend of my bestie Mandy coming down. There will be wine. There will be LOTS of wine. And basketball. GOOOOOO KANSAS STATE UNIVERSITY!!! AND WICHITA STATE UNIVERSITY!!!!! I love it that KS has 3 universities representing in the Tourney! (The other team is Kansas, and well, we hate Kansas, okey dokey. Because their my KSU rivals. They can suck monkey balls.)

Then the grandparents come for some Dillyn time. I'm over the fact that they want to see the peon parents. Nope. We're nothing now that we have a chubby cheeked nugget.

Annnndddddd we're getting the yard in shape. Planting of trees, trees, and more trees! Actually I think I'm going to supervise. yup. Hubby can take care of that shit.

Have a glorious weekend!

Thursday, March 20, 2014

The down-low on Oil and why the fuck I'm PULLING it.

I know it's Randompants Thursday and all, but we're going to talk about something a little different. But still random. So it sorta fits. It's fine.

OK y'all. Some of my friends posted on FB about Oil Pulling.

W.T.F. is OIL PULLING?!?!?! And where the hell should I be pulling it exactly?!?!?!?

Well, the low-down-dirty explanation (LB style) is that you swish some sort of veggie/nut oil in your mouth(WTH?) for 20 minutes(WHAHHH??!!!!! Might as well be an effing eternity) a day (without gagging your ass off) and then magically you have white teeth, less of a hangover---------------->CAN I GET A HELL TO THE YEAH?!?!?!, better gums, better skin, blah, blah, blahbittyblah.

Ya, I know what y'all are thinking, I pretty much was hooked on the 'less of a hangover' part too. No need to go further. I will suffer through the gagging, just for that shit.

Here's some more detail on what exactly to do.

I didn't use Dr. Bronner's brand, I just used Organic Refined Coconut Oil that I found at the local grocery store, because that's what I already had in my cabinet. There's been debate, apparently from what I've skimmed on the interwebs and comments, about unrefined vs refined. But I think it just boils down to as long as it's organic, you're fine. There's also many different types of oil you can use, but generally people recommend the coconut variety.

 So, I decided to take the plunge today and try it. Good God I'm batshit.

Picture this: I literally crawl out of bed, because my legs feel like I did 8700 lunges yesterday, and mosey into the bathroom. I had already set the jar of oil and a spoon on the counter, so I wouldn't forget to do it first thing in the morning, while in my still somewhat sleep induced haze.  I open the jar, and start to fill the spoon approximately 1T of solid oil.

The husband walks in.

"Ummmmm, what are you doing?!"

"I'm going to pull some oil." (Like I've been doing this for ions and he should automatically know what I'm doing.)

"HUH?!?!?!" (Said in a slightly high pitched/border line yell, with the strong undertone of: What the fuck is wrong with you.)

"It's supposed to help whiten teeth and make your skin better. AND it cures the hangover!" (Like, duh!, right?!)

He doesn't say anything back. He just walked out of the bathroom.

So I plop the solid oil in my mouth, and I immediately think this is a bad idea. A very badbadbad idea. Ugh, it's just so weird. It's solid, but it's melting quickly, but my body wants to swallow it, while in my mind I'm like 'Good God NOOOOOO'. So I clench my teeth and try to roll it around on my tongue to try and melt it further. Then a gag reflex happens. Super. This is not going well. And it's only be 2.3 seconds.  I mentally push past it, set the timer, and quickly undress and get in the shower.

My whole thought process is that if I can get in the shower and start washing my hair, I'll forget that I have FUCKING OIL IN MY MOUTH.

It worked.

It was melted by then so I just started swishing away. Naturally, like I'm some oil pulling expert.

And BTW, you can't taste coconut at all. I've cooked with it, and assumed that it just blended with whatever flavors I'm cooking with at the time, but I've never actually tasted coconut oil straight. Because who the hell would do that?!  Now knowing that it doesn't taste like coconut, I'm pretty sure I'm going to use it more often!! BONUS!

OK, back to the pulling of the oil. I jump out of the shower, dry off and quickly check the timer. 11:04 to go. Ok. Not bad. I'm about half way through. I can do this.

Once I run through my 'morning routine' of lotion, brushing hair, getting dressed, and then make up, I only have a MINUTE left! Holy Speedy Gonzolas baby!!!! That went fast! I mean, it truly did. After my mind and body got over the initial shock of doing this crazy ass thing, I was good. And the time FLEWWWWW.

I spit it out in the trash (NEVER IN THE DRAIN!!! IT'LL CLOG!!!) and proceeded to brush my teeth.  I didn't realize you needed to wash your mouth out with warm water, so I'll make sure to do that tomorrow.

Probably just going to use warm water as a rinse. Salt water sounds yucky. (Which is a total idiotic thing to say because, again, I'm swishing oil in my damn mouth. But whatevs.)

My review:

Since I didn't do a before picture, and most likely one use isn't going to give me the Ross Neon White Teeth, I can't really determine if it's working or not. I will say that it definitely wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I think I'm going to do the recommendation of chewing the oil up till it melts, I think that will make the first part better/easier to take. It also didn't seem like I had oil in my mouth forever. I was able to do most of my morning routine while swishing. By the time I was done, I spit, and was ready for the last routine step of brushing my teeth. I mean, it's not like I'm doing any thing else with my mouth in the eating a double bacon cheeseburger. Get your minds out of the gutter!! And if it wasn't in the gutter, I apologize, I guess I'm just weird.

I'm going to take pictures tomorrow morning. That way I have a baseline. And I'm going to keep it up for a few weeks and see if I notice improvements. Especially since my bestie is coming tomorrow, and I foresee a barrel of wine being drank before Sat. morning. I can use all the help I can get in the hangover area.

So, does anyone want to be batshit crazy with me and pull some oil?!?!?!
It's fun!
Come on! Everyone's doin' it!


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Starting Over-Week 1

OK, so I call yesterday a winner winner clean chicken dinner. Woop woop. Dolphin claps for me for making it 24 hours.
Yes, yes, you're impressed.
I would be too.

After work, I went to pick up D and then to do the wifey duties.....dropping off dry cleaning (for the first time ever, I know, I'm a dry cleaning virgin, shocking for being an old tits of [almost] 33). Then, I went to the store to stock up on veggies. No joke, I think the only thing I didn't purchase out of the veggie section was milk. Oh, and flour. Because I have a secret psycho thought that I would like to start making my own bread. Ya, I'll just fit that right in between exercising, working, caring for a 7mo old, a husband, and oh, myself. No biggie. Sleeping is overrated. So is eyebrow plucking. Just so you know. My bushes are spectacular right now. Moving on. The fact that I've never even attempted to make bread before shouldn't phase me either....right? RIGHT?! Breathe. Breathe. I can do this. I am Wonder Woman.

After the store, I headed home and prepped for the week. I cut up veggies and sauteed them in garlic, soy sauce, and sriracha. Nom, nom, nom, nom!
There's zucchini, squash, green and red pepper, onion, jalapeno (cause I like it spiiiiiiicy), and snow peas. All over brown rice. I made enough for dinner and then 3 more lunches.

After that, I made Dillyn some squash. That girl. I tell you what. VEGGIE LOVER! I'm so so SO happy that she likes veggies. Don't know where she gets it from. My diet growing up consisted of Little Debbie Swiss rolls. The closest I came to a veggie was lime flavored jello. Which, lime is a fruit, I know, but it's green. Green = Veggie. Just go with me here.

I didn't get a chance to work out. But I promised myself to get up and do 30 Day Shred this morning and I did! I really need to give credit to D, because my alarm went off like 87 times before she finally started whimpering for her binky, so I finally had to get up. She went back to bed and I went in search of my yoga mat and the TV & DVD remotes. (Apparently, my husband thinks their home is in the downstairs entertainment cabinet........the DVD is upstairs people. Riddle me that shit.)

And I know it's only been 1 day, but I lost .7 lbs. I'll take that shit!!!!

OK, here are my 'before photos'. You may want to look away quickly. They're kind of disturbing. (At least I think so.)

I mean, check out that badonkadonk. Wow.
You can't tell from the photos, but the batwings are out of control. Seriously.Out.Of.Control.

I actually took measurements, and I'm pretty much up all the way around. Wayyyyyy around.

         Apr, 2012                Mar. 17, 2014
Waist:      28                               34.5 ----------------->HOLY SHITTLEBITS!!!!!
Hips:        41                                43
Arms:      12                                13
Thighs:    22.5                              24
Weight:  152.6                           159.7

Granted, I know that is almost a 2 year difference, but still.

The plan for tonight is to go running. Eat healthy. And to get to bed early. Waking up at 5am is beyond redonkulous. And wouldn't you know, I had to wait almost 3 hours this morning before I could enjoy my first cup of steamy hot caffeinated goodness. That's effed up. Stupid breaker going out because we can't run the damn toaster and coffee maker at once. Gahhhhhhhh.

Cheers lovies!!

Monday, March 17, 2014

Starting over......ONE.MORE.TIME.

OK. So it's like a freaking broken record on this bloggy. I say I'm going to stop with the sugar.....and 3 months later I just mowed down a sleeve of Thin Mints.....and don't feel thin at all. Or, I say that I'm going to start running again......then realize that the amount of time my tennis shoes have graced the conveyor belt of death is shorter than a fat kid playing dodge ball. It's sad people. Real sad.

So what's prompted this new 'starting over' plan????

The fact that I've been working out at least 4 times a week for months now and the scale has dropped a dramatic 2 lbs. Stupid flat chested bitch scale. Yes, I blame inanimate objects. It's fine.

You'd think with how much I work out that I'd be a skinny little bitch by now. But nope. Not so much. I'm just a slightly overweight and superbly unhealthy bitch. Awesomesauce.

Shockingly, I'm surmising that my diet is absolutely the culprit. When you work out for an hour or more at a time, then go home and stuff your hole with 3 tortillas loaded with melted cheese and wash it down with a bag of double stuffed Oreos, your waistline isn't going to shrink. It's going to expand to look like a hippo stuffed into size 2 skinny jeans.

There are 10 weeks left until Memorial Weekend, which is the start to summer (for me). D-Day for bikini season. I need to get my shit together. I mean, it's been almost 7 months since I gave birth to Dillyn, and I've still got 10lbs to go to pre-baby weight. And really, I'd like to lose another 10 on top of that. Or at least be able to fit into my size 8 jeans without looking like a busted can of biscuits.

So, here's the plan. I'm going to hit it hard. Not just to lose the weight. But to be healthier. I'm tired of being tired. I'm sick of feeling sick. I've had enough. I've started Dillyn on organic/clean everything. Why not do that for myself too???? There's no excuse not to. There's no excuse period.

#1. EAT CLEAN. No processed crap. No chemically enhanced foods. No quicky boxed dinners. No Thin Mints.

This is going to require me to plan out my meals. It does me no good to buy a bunch of expensive produce, to just throw together a gross hamburger helper meal when I'm in a time crunch. I need to make a 'weekly meal calender' every Sunday and stick with the meals for that week. I also need to pre-make my lunches so there's no excuse to run to Taco Shop and inhale 4 sanchos. This also means that I'm not going to 'give up' a certain item just because it's horrible. For instance, I have an obsession with chocolate. If I try to give it up, I'm just going to binge. But if I find a healthier alternative, I'll allow it, but in moderation. Moderation is the word of the year.

#2. EXERCISE (AT LEAST) 30 MIN/DAY. Every.Day. No excuses. 

I can do this.......and more. My 'reach goal' is to get up at 5am and work out at home for 30 min to a video or whatever Monday-Friday. Then to go to the gym right after work. On the weekends, I'm going to commit to at least getting some sort of exercise every day. Either going to the gym, taking the Wyatt and baby girl on a walk, or working in the garden. I need to make this a priority. I feel so much better, and have so much more energy when I exercise, there's no reason not to do it every day.

That's it. Just two 'goals'. Just two 'lifestyle changes'. Simple enough. Easy peezy lemon squeezy.

And it starts today. I've already got on MyFitnessPal again and logged my food so far. And I've got my workout gear for the gym tonight. I need to run to the store to stock up on produce. Then plan meals for the week and make lunches.

That's it.
I'm ready.
Let's do this shit.

(PS: I'll do a 'beginning' post with weight/measurements/pictures and crap to show where i'm 'starting' at. Cross your fingers I get that done tonight.)