Baby Girl woke up at 4am....nothing new there. However, after putting her to bed at 4:30, and laying down myself to try and get another measly 1 hour of sleep, my stupid motha effing mind wouldn't shut off. GAHHHHH!
Wait, let me back up.
Sunday night there was a little drama that I had to go through. Yeah. The night before one of the hardest days I could go thru as a mommy (so far anyway). F*ck you very much. Needless to say, while it was a bunch of bullshit, I've been so pissed it's been hard to think about anything else.
So, at 4:30am, I laid awake....thinking about bullshit. Until 6am, when I finally got up. Surprisingly, the morning went really smoothly. I got ready, Dillyn was good and only shit her drawers once, AND it all ended up in the diaper! Shocking...I know. We got to daycare, I dropped her off, and I didn't even cry.
Again, I was/am so pissed that I couldn't even be sad about Dillyn. I guess that's the silver effing lining. Stupid ass lining.
AAAAAnnnnnndddddd, then I got to work.
Holy shitballs hitting 100mph fan blades made out of cheese shredder metal thingies.
First up: 2 hour meeting, 30 minutes after I walk in the door. Who schedules a meeting at 8:30 on a Monday morning?!?!?! Oh, that's right....my NEW boss. Ya, they changed bosses on me while I was away. WELCOME BACK LAURA!!!! YAYYYYY. (Totally being sarcastic there.)
Second: Found a huge effing construction staple sticking out of my tire. Go to get it patched....nope, can't do it. It's too far on the sidewall, so I have to get a WHOLE NEW TIRE. And that would be $260.00 please, says the teeth missing, tobacco stained lips, dead sexy mechanic. WTF?!?!? Spank you very much Universe, you're really going balls to the wall today.
Oh, but wait....it gets better.
Third: The Husband calls.....
wait for it...........
he has the flu. THE FLU!!!! The effing stomach FLU!
Just shoot me.
After you force a tube down my throat and I beer bong a 30 pack.
And then I walk straight off a cliff.
Into a hole filled with tarantulas.
That would be easier to deal with than this stupid, crazy, ridiculously terrible day in Hell.
Good news: It can only get better from here.
Because if it doesn't,
I'm buying a one way ticket to CrazyLand.
(And, I'm taking my baby with me.)