1. I threw out my right boob on Tuesday.
I hurt by boob. Only me.
Considering that my tatas are the equivalent of a tube sock with a ping pong ball on the end, you'd have to wonder where the muscle came from that I pulled. Perplexing, to say the least.
So there I was in Torture Class For Your Boobs (also known as Body Design), and I was huffing and puffing through push ups and swinging this 12 lb weighted bar from side to side (not at the same time, mind you. We did push ups and then hopped up and grabbed the bar and tried to swing first to the right so your elbow is above your head, then to the left. It's complicated. Naturally.) And all the sudden, by right boob felt like it was going to explode. Or just fall off. Sever ties. Shrivel up and land with a phflatt on the pretty wood floor.
How does this shit happen to me.
I've had more problems with my girls since giving birth than anyone should ever have problems with mammary glands.
Welcome to motherhood. (Jordan & Tina I'm talking to you.)
2. Speaking of working out. Guess who worked out 5 times last week???? And every time was at least an hour long. And ONE time was 1.5 hours!!!
Golf claps for me.
3. I haven't lost much weight though. About 4 lbs. Which is awesome for the 2 weeks that I've been 'back at it'. You know what I think contributed the most to that loss............the fact that I haven't shoved a donut in the hole in my face for 2 weeks. Again. Golf claps for me overcoming my donut addiction.
And to curve my chocolate addiction, I've come to the conclusion that I just can't go 100% sugar free cold turkey. Nope. Just can't do it. I end up craving chocolate so hard that next thing I know I've mowed down an entire box of Oreos and it's only 10am.
That didn't happen today or anything.
What has been helping is buying a bag of Hershey's Kisses and I only allow myself to have 5 a day. I've got almond and dark chocolate ones.
+2 points for me thinking about 'healthy' chocolate.
4. Baby girl is getting teeth!!!
And 2 days later I want to punch the tooth fairy in the crotch.....because baby girl is getting teeth. **said in a growly pissed off voice**
I haven't slept in 2 days.
I miss sleep.
5. On a positive note. When you're up early, early, EARLY at the asscrack of pre-dawn, you have time to do things that you haven't had time to do in 6 months.......like pluck the wooly mammoths that reside above your eyeballs.
6. Speaking of baby girl. Here's her V-Day pictures!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Yes, yes, you just want to squeeze and smooch those puffy little baby cheeks. I know. I do it every day. And it never gets old. ;-)
7. I just spent the last 49 minutes listening to Chatty Cleaning Cathy at work talk to me about her elderly ward that is a pain drug junky, has a bladder issues, falls repeatedly, whose cat is a psyhopath, and her house is literally coming apart in sections.
That is 49 minutes I will never get back.
Not to be mean or unsympathetic.....but jeez. I could have summed up her story in 2.4 minutes.
8. On the topic of employment. I'd love to rethink my employment options. Like rethink them to be free of dumbfucks.
It is amazing the amount of stupidity that I have to deal with on a daily basis.
Ohhhh, you told a customer that we (by we, I mean ME) could have their project (that normally takes 4 hours) to be complete in 34 minutes??????
Sure. I'll get right on that.
Thank the Fun Gods that my staff in my teeny department are the bomb.com. I'm pretty sure if I didn't have them I'd be in an institution by now.
9. In my 'Ode To My Life Not Being Busy Enough With A 6 Month Old', I've decided to paint the dining room.
Our house is about 86 shades of beige. With a beige couch. And light colored wood furniture. So my craving for color is about as strong as my craving for a bacon taco.
Which, there is such a thing as a bacon taco.
Feast your eyeballs on this precious:
Anywhoozle. I needed a little red delicious action to liven things up.
I'm almost done with the dining room.
Then comes the bedroom in sage green and gray.
Then comes getting the ground ready for garden season.
And then comes my exhaustion induced coma.
10. I think I need some sort of challenge to keep my interest in exercising. I mean, I LOVE working out with my new workout buddy (Shout out to Tamra!!!). And I LOVE doing exercise classes with my other work out buddy (except for the Boob Torture Class) (Another shout out to Chassity!). But I need something more. Ya feel me????
So I'm thinking about starting a push up challenge.
So, I'll let you know how that shenanigans goes.
Cheers to beers y'all! Have a great Thursday!
This Saturday night I get to have a GIRL'S NIGHT OUT!!!! Whoop Whoop!!!! I'm so excited I could piss glitter!
PS. This took me all week to write. In between breaks and on lunch. This crazy busy business can stop. Anytime.