Friday, January 27, 2012

A little cramp in my style.

This is all I've eaten today:
Technically, this is all I've eaten since a steak salad on Wed. night. (Tried to eat dirty pizza last night, but horked that right back up.)

In my defense, it's organic.
And low fat.
And yogurt and not really ice cream.
And that's all my stomach is really able to handle right now.
I tried to eat some pita bread.......badbadbadbad idea. Uh huh, tummy said, "No likey likey."

BTW, I do not have the flu. **Boys...look away** I am currently surfing the crimson tide. Riding the cotton pony. Having a visit from Aunt Flo. About ready to ripe my uterus from my body and burn it like a bag of poo on a porch.

Yesterday I spent the entire day in a Hyrocodone induced fog. In bed. Despite what you're thinking: "Yippee drug induced haze!!! Happy Joy Joy!!" (Which I was really hoping it would be like.) No, no, it was not.

It was safer in bed. When I would peel my pooper from my lovely mattress to walk around, I would weave from side to side and eventually ram my shoulder/elbow/forehead into a very sturdy barrier also known as a 'wall'.

At this point, I either want to get pregnant or go back on birth control. Because I'm pretty damn sure I can't take this crap for another month. Stupid woman issues.

Being a girl sucks.

One teeny bonus about all this......I've lost another pound. I guess that happens when all you're able to stomach is air. And mint chocolate chip frozen yogurt.

Shoot me now.


**This is not a pity post. No pity for me please. Just bitching. 'Cause I'm so good at that.**

13 comments:

  1. wow! that sounds rough!!! enjoy that frozen yogurt! looks yummy!!

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  2. I have that problem too, the one where I run into shit each time I get up. Though mine's from shifting center or gravity, not blood loss.

    Get preggers, you'll be as funny as me.

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  3. This sounds miserable. :( i hope you get better soon!

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  4. I was wondering how you were doing today. You poor little thing. Take care.

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  5. Poor child. I feel your pain right now. I sent you a text. Did you get it?

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  6. Just so you know I licked the screen on that picture. Sweet heavens you had to do the food porn? Aunt Flo is showing up on Sunday for me so I am craving chocolate like a lunatic.
    I am sorry your not feeling well hun :( Get better soon.

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  7. Your uterus needs an ass kicking. Seriously-I hope you feel better soon.

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  8. OMG--Aunt Flo hates me too...hence the IUD...for like 2 yrs now...and I don't miss her visits!

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  9. Riding the cotton pony.....that is hilarious! I have never heard that one! So sorry it is giving you fits. Enjoy the frozen yogurt.

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  10. I love a good bitch fest here and there.

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  11. I'm so sorry sweetheart! I hope you're feeling better this morning...(((HUGS)))

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  12. Chasing the cotton mouse. haha

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