No, my husband is not one of those guys that just goes out every once in awhile or just on opening weekends. And no, he is not someone that just has a few guns. And no, he doesn't just have one closet full of hunting 'stuff' (I was going to say shit, but thought I'd be nice).
The minute bow season opens in, what, September or something, MY husband has already bought 4 new tree stands, new straps, an extra harness, restrung his bow, added new arrows (ummm, I think this is substantial evidence that I should be able to buy any and all shoes with no argument of the money I'm spending, right?!), been shooting practice arrows in the back yard repeatedly scaring anyone that walks by hearing a THUMP.......THUMP......THUMP. Sounds like we're bludgeoning small mute animals or something back there.
MY husband wakes up at the asscrack of not-even dawn and takes a scent-free shower (that pretty much smells like the earth farted), dons his scent-free hunting cloths, loads up in the pickup to drive sometimes 45 minutes to climb a tall ass tree in the middle of a pitch black forest, all while holding his bow, arrows, and backpack full of the hunter's must-haves like chew, gum, trail mix, water, and doe estrogen. Yes. Doe.Estrogen. To spray. On himself and around him. UGH.
MY husband has a ginormous safe in the basement that holds so much fire power you'd think we were starting our very own World War IKeeeelYou. MY husband has 2 closets, shelves in the laundry room, and some stuff outside in the garage all to house his hunting 'stuff'.
MY husband is what you would call obsessed with hunting.
So, anyways, back to the real story. Ryan went hunting last weekend and as we were sitting at dinner the other night, he was looking through his phone. I asked what pictures he was looking at and he said, 'Oh, just some that I took last weekend in the tree stand.'
Oh really. Well, I had to get a look at these.
And they are special. Very special.
Let me introduce to you, from the hunting model shoot of the century, these should go on the cover of Vogue Hunting, MY husband, the very handsome Ryan:
|'Is this thing on?'|
|'I like the woods. And this pretty field.'|
|'I will bust a cap in some deer!!!'|
Don't be jealous y'all!!!!