Sorry, I know I'm supposed to do a funny and witty update on Week 28, but I'm just not feeling it today.
There's so much going on in life that is fantastic.....we're having a baby, we're getting a new house (yes we found one!), we have great jobs, we have wonderful family and friends, I could go on! Then, in one small instance, everything can change. Your world can crash. More like dive bomb into a huge shit loaded catastrophe.
Yesterday a family member's mother committed suicide.
The mother wasn't blood related to me, but she was still family.
And while we weren't close, I'm close with the family member and my heart just aches for her.
I want to scream and hit and curse and punch.....anything. Or anyone.
It's just not fair.
Why do people think suicide is the answer?
Why do they think that's the only way to be less of a burden to the world?
IT'S MORE OF A BURDEN!!!
It's HORRIBLE for those loved ones that are left behind.
To clean up your mess of unpaid bills, personal items that would have to be given away or sold, explanations to thousands upon thousands of people for the rest of your loved one's lives about why and how you died. Not to mention the funeral preparations and dealing with telling their kids that grandma isn't going to be around any more.
All while they're dealing with their own lives.
Now they have to deal with what you left behind!
AND THEY DON'T DESERVE THAT!!!
I know why people commit suicide...most of times--------->depression. That nasty little bitch. Depression and I have a very close and personal relationship, so I know first hand what this woman was probably going through. Except I've able to get control of it, with the aide of extensive counseling and meds. She didn't have those opportunities. It's truly sad how debilitating that disease is.
Worst part about it, is that in situations like this the survivors always blame themselves. They wish they could have done more. Or wish they could have known.
But nothing anyone could have known or not known before would have help this woman. NOTHING. The only one to blame here is her. No one else.
As family, how can I help those left behind?! How can I help my family member?!
That's the question that has been running through my mind non-stop.
What can I do?! How can I support?!
HOW CAN I HELP?!?!
I want to be there for her and her family. I want to be the strong & steady post to lean on. I want to take away her pain and worry and stress.
I want to HELP!
But I don't know how.
Or even if they want or need help.
But it's just something I feel I need to do. I think any human would/does in a time like this.
I just wish I knew how.
And I'll probably never know how.
And I'll probably do the same thing that any person does in this situation is just be there for the ones hurt as best I can and be as strong as possible.
I think that's all I can do for now.
Sorry for being Debby Downer, but I just had to get this out.