Can I just say that I don't care if my watermelon-thunder-thighs (I think I might nickname them Ben) and my enormously large bubble butt (it's name is going to be Jerry) are so grotesque that normal patrons at the lake/pool will be offended if I wear a swimsuit, let alone a bikini. Because, damn it, it's summer, and by God I'm going to bring on the 'sun-cancer' (aka tanning) to redefine as much of my pasty self that I can. (Of course, without being totally nude. That would just leave scares on people that I'm just not willing to accept at this point in my unhealthiness state. So you're welcome; for sparing you that awfullness.)
Anyways, here's the new swim wear purchase for this year: (All be thankful that I am not modeling these with the previous stated 'Ben and Jerry's)
|Please pardon the dirty dog blanket at the top. It's supposed to be white.|
Wyatt like's dirt, apparently.)
(BTW, the reason they're all triangle tops is because my acorns look soooo much better in that style. Just in case you were wondering.)
Wanna know how much all three cost me??!! Huh? Do ya? Do ya?
Grand total: $50.00
That's right ladies, be jealous. I am the pay-absolutely-hardly-anything-sale-aholic-shopping QUEEN!
Bow down to me. Because I am the shiz-nit.
(OK, you don't really have to bow down. But if you like them I'd love to hear your opinions!)