Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Trailer park jackasses and peeing standing up.

I don't give a Witch's pierced left teet!
I am NEVER, NEVER running in 108 degree weather with the added bonus of bursts of 40 mph fiery air (aka wind) EVER again.

Does anyone know what it's like to run behind the burning engines of a fighter jet?

No?

Well, just come to southern Kansas and run outside. Feels just about the same.

And to the re-incarnated Einstein that yelled out his spray painted Chevy S10 pickup window at me, "Don'tcha know iss too hot to run?!": Ummm, thank you Mr. Brain, I had NO idea it was hotter than dollar night at a whore house the minute I stepped out of my front door, but thanks for the heads up, as I'm trudging along next to the liquor store, a freaking mile from my home. Trailer trash jackass.

Note to self: When your ass and thigh muscles are more stiff than a reformed nun on her wedding night....don't push it by pounding them up and down on blacktop! It will NOT loosen them up!

I made it about .5 miles before my lungs felt like they were going to explode into a million tiny shriveled-up pieces and had to slow it down to a semi-fast walk.  Then, I only made it about 2 miles total before I almost called the neighbor to bring his wheel barrow and snow shovel to scrap me off the pavement and haul me home.

And I'll just save you all the anguish of looking at a ridiculously grotesque workout photo because it looked like I just got done swimming in hot tub filled with hair gel. 

But I did do my 3rd Bodyrock.tv workout.

Pretty sure I won't be able to walk tomorrow, let alone squat WAAAAYYYY down to the toilet to pee.  Yep, just going to have to hold it all day.

Or try peeing standing up near the tree line behind work.

Whatever works.

9 comments:

  1. ahahhahhaa that is me laughing, and I can because I have so been there from Bodyrock. bahahaha, yeah I would really laugh but my abs hurt too bad.

    ReplyDelete
  2. First off...are you insane? It's hotters than Satan's armpit outside. I'm going to beat your butt.

    You should have spit on that damn truck with the genius providing his advice.

    This post had me laughing like a fool. My mom and husband are looking at me like i've lost it all.

    Checking out that link tonight.

    Take a cold shower and drink a cold beer. BTW...to pee standing up...take one leg completely out of the pants and stand directly over the toilet....yup I've done it. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  3. I feel you! It's 108 here too and I can not imagine doing any exercise outside! It's bad enough just walking to my car! You're really brave (or crazy) haha!

    ReplyDelete
  4. that heat sounds horrible!
    You tried to run which is more than I would have done :)
    It was high 90's here and I didn't want to do anything outside.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hee! I can't believe Einstein didn't offer to let you hop in the bed of his rusty truck, but in his defense, he probably thought you were crazier than a June bug.

    I'm sincerely glad you are still among the living.

    ReplyDelete
  6. O-M-G! You are so brave, first of all, but second of all, you are crazy woman! It's tooooooo hot to be running outside. EEK! Your color commentary is awesome! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are nuts. :) We run short intervals outside at CF, but nothing more than 800m at a time. Even that makes me feel like I'm breathing glass! Be careful, dear!

    ReplyDelete
  8. HAHAHA Hotter than dollar night in a whore house? I can't stop laughing! hahaha

    I have had workouts like that. The ones where your abs are so sore you can't get out of bed and legs too sore to squat. Yep, been there.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from y'all, so leave a comment!