And it's Tuesday.
Sweet baby Jesus and purple polka dot puffy farts.
And some how I pulled out from my beer soaked ass a 31 minute 3 mile run this morning. Miracles do happen people. (Maybe I need to get shitcanned more often to pull out fast runs. Hummmm, drink for thought on that one.)
To say the weekend was a fun bachelorette party is an understatement.
It was more like: Here's a bunch of 30 year old 'ladies' who either have kids or are thinking about having kids or thinking about getting married/have respectable jobs either at home or out in the 'real' world/haven't gone out like a 45 year old meth'ed up rock star with a shellacked mini-skirt on in at least 5 years/can't remember how to put your own eyeliner on (your BFF always does a better job anyway)/I might just throw up that panty dropper shot (or whatever it was) into my Coach purse/my thigh muscles are going to be so ripped by the time I get off this dance floor that they'll look worse than Arnold's....kind of night.
Basically, it was AMAZEBALLS!
First came the outfits. Mine was killer....just sayin'.
Then came the restaurant. My favorite: Hibachi Hut (it's Cajun). Where we had an excellent dinner and started off the drinking. Here's the crowd of girls that accompanied Tina (that would be the bride-to-be) on her night of ruthless partying.
This would be the last half of my John's Spicy Shrimp. Pretty sure it's the best thang ever made on this planet. Butter, super light-your-ass-on-fire spicy, white rice and shrimp. What more do you need?
Me and the future bride. Quite possibly the most bestest friend I have in the whole entire world. (Actually, she IS my most bestest friend.) She's the sweetest cutest little thing and I loves her to pieces.
Then came the shots.
Then came gift giving and the waiter smelling the gift (which were super $$$ panties, they smelled better than fresh flowers. I swear to all that is Holy I'm going to have to sell a kidney and buy a pair.)
Oh, and that waiter.....he's middle name is Available. (He's a friend. I shall hook you up. Because I'm pimp-tastic.)
Then came more shots. There is an actual bar that specializes in just shots. Huh??? I am so old.
The whole group at the Shot Stop (seriously, look at the stacks of shot glasses. Totally normal adult bar.):
Didn't get a chance to sample Susie's Asshole. To bad, so sad.
Next on the menu was dancing. Unfortunately, I don't have any pics of those glorious moments. But I will tell you I got hit on by a 45 year old married man and a 22 year old skinny kid tried to bump and grind with me. It was priceless.
Me and my humongous lumberjack beer are soulmates or birth-mates, either way's fine. Tina: We're still soulmates, don't you worry.
There are just no words:
Yet again....more shots. And why not chase them with a beer. Crazytown....I know.
And Lindsey: what the suck are you doing with your face cheeks? Just asking. (BTW, that badass Lindsey chick runs a 10K or some bullshit every single day. She's my idol.)
Thinking 'more shots' was not the best idea. But Lindsey thinks it's amusing. That's comforting. Well, and Megan (to my right): What is so freaking damned important at 1:30 in the morning on your smartphone? You need to be focusing on me and my soon to be 'maybe' puking.
All in all....THE. BEST. NIGHT. EVAH!
The drive home on Sunday was craptastic at best. I didn't pull over to hork (good word Draz), so that's a plus in my book.
To completely solidify how freaking awesome my bestie and bride to be is, this is one of the gifts that she gave me for "doing everything I do for her" (aka, take her engagement pictures which were her wedding gift and being the coolest best friend on this green earth).
That's right. That's Coach. A cute little Coach purse just for little ol' me.
I was not born into a 'Coach purse' kind of world. I just didn't think I'd ever be able to afford one. But I always secretly wanted one. Always. It was so completely amazingly sweet and thoughtful that my BFF would give me the one thing I've always wanted.
She is such a great friend and I shall keep her for always. Cheers to you Tina on your new life with your amazing soon-to-be hubby! (And thanks for the flashback to when we partied like 21 year old hookers. Drunktastic!)