Ten Things Thursday

YES! I'm here! I'm here! Another round of my Ten Things Thursday! I know you all had major mental meltdowns when I was chugging beers and stuffing creole in my face working out of town last week. It's ok.

1. It's official. Winter is right around the corner. Yup. Wanna know how I know this? Well, it's not because of the sucktastic weatherman that I talked about the other day. I know this because I had to turn on my butt warmer in my car this morning.  That's right. When it's cold enough to turn on that amazing little car seat invention, you know winter is close. I'll just tell you all right now: I no likey likey winter in Kansas. Winter in Kansas blows fartcicles.

2. Ryan and his men found this shovel while digging a trench in western Kansas. (Yes, my husband plays with big 'toys' in the dirt all day. And loves every minute of it.)

Don't worry, Ryan didn't grow a stach and turn all spanish. That's one of Ryan's men.  The 'real man's shovel', as Ryan puts it, weighs over 100 pounds and is hand made. Really, what I'd like to know first is, WTF?! Seriously. 100 pounds?! Who the hell could pick that up and throw it into the cement-like soil of western KS? I mean, I look like I'm wrestling a greased up pool noodle when I use a normal sized shovel, let alone a giagantor sized one. And would you have two guys try and maneuver it?  Well, that'd be a uncoordinated cluster F*ck, wouldn't it? So, I've come to the conclusion it's Paul Bunyan's. Ooooooo, Ryan, you might find the remains of Babe the Blue Ox!! We could be RICH! Keep digging!

 3. OK, completely random subject change: Did you hear about these straight up horrible parents that named their kids Ad0lf H1lter, Ary@n N@tion, and H0zszlynn H1nler? Read about it HERE. Basically, they got questioned when trying to order a birthday cake that would read 'Happy Birthday Ad0lf H1tler'. The NJ system stepped in, took the kids away and charged the parents with child abuse. However, the court found the parents not guilty. Exsqueeze me? Not child abuse? That court system is obviously flawed more than Snooki's reputation. Good news is the system has yet to give the kids back. Thank the All Mighty. Those poor kids is all I can think about.

4. Ok. I'm getting another tattoo. Yes. I already have 2 very, very, very old ones. But, I need a little something new. Plus, I want to honor my stepdad in some way and I thought this would be a good idea.
This is the design I came up with:

It say's: 5/25/1959 Azhe'ni.
Which is: Mike's birthday & Azhe'ni means Angel in Pottawatomie. (Pronounced Ah-zsh-ah-nee; Mike was Prairie Band Pottawatomie Indian)
Now where do I get it: (Yes, I printed out the tat on stickers at work. I was bored, all right?!)

Left side of my rib cage. Left shoulder blade. Or middle of my back.
(Yes that is a beer on the sink. And my mirror looks like I just projectile spit toothpaste on it every day. No judging.)
And what size do i get it? This is the larger size:

I'm thinking the large size on my ribcage. Thoughts?

5. I'm going to Tampa this weekend. Again, I am the traveling vagabond. At this point, I've forgotten what it's like to spend a weekend at home. Ohhh, weekends of being a lazy ass, how I miss thee.

6.  But the reason I'm going to Tampa is because it's my Godson Akahi's birthday! Big # ONE!! Look at this guy:

Isn't he just the cutest little wootest cupcake you've ever laid eyes on in your life?! Well, next to my handsome newish nephew Kyron.

Those two, being only 9 months apart, are going to get into a heap of girl trouble. For. Sure. I feel sorry for my cousin and my brother. Just stop producing drop dead gorgeous children and you wouldn't have to worry about girls sluttily throwing themselves at your sons. Just sayin'.

7. I have a confession. At this very moment I am sipping on a Diet Mt. Dew. And it is STUPENDOUS! Ohhhhhh caffeine, I love you long tieeeeme. My brain took a screwy leave of absence this morning and the only thing to really get it going was a pick me up. (Seriously, I tried to brush my teeth with hair gel then tried to use my MP3 player to turn on the car. Who the hell knows.) Clearly it was needed folks. In a tragically desperate way. But! I'll go right back to no caffeine *sadface* after this 20 oz wonderful.

8. Lindsay Lohan is going to do Playboy. Jesus tits. I mean, what dude wouldn't want to look at this half nekkid:

Dead sexy.

9. Notice I have yet to talk at all about my running or eating clean.  And I'm not gonna. Because I am royally sucking at them both right now. Back to my regularly scheduled heathified life on Monday. I swear.

10, OK, y'all have to watch this. Pee your pants funny. Seriously. Don't drink anything before watching this. You'll ruin your monitor and keyboard.

Don't forget to let me know where you think I should get my next tattoo!!!
Have a fantabulous Thursday everyone!!