Whaaaaat UP my PEEPS?!?! (oops, I almost wrote 'poops', bawhaha) Sorry I missed last week, but life was a shitstorm, as usual. What can you do. But here's this week's edition of randomcrap craziness!!
1. Life is a big ol' poophole. Yup. It sure is.
Remember how yesterday I did that amazing little post that got you all so hot and bothered? And it may have included this:
|And I know I'm posting this early, but try to make it past this and read what else I wrote. Please.|
WEEEEeeeeeeeeellllllll.........Not so much.
Like I said, life is a poophole. Life is Satan's poophole to be more specific.
Jordan and I started our little ladies date with some fab sushi, a few drinks, and then sashayed (yes, for sure there was sashaying) over to the theater to get us and my other buddy Rebecca tickets. Well, the little movie ticket douchecanoe said, "Sold Out."
I die. I die.
The saga of trying to see Magic Mike will continue, with a THIRD attempt, the week after next.
Third time's the charm right?!
I freaking need some damn charm.
Shit, now I really want Lucky Charms cereal. Mmmmm marshmallows.
2. So, I'm thinking of doing the BOOBs v3.0 Challenge. Since I am going to BOOBs this year (SQUEEEEE!!!).
So really, the chances of me winning are like nadaboombada.
BUT! That's ok. Wanna know why? Because I need a challenge to keep me motivated. I need a goal, and end date, the support of you fine ass ladies, and well, I think I'm bored and need a little lift-me-up.
So while at the beginning of this #2 I was just thinking about doing it, I think I've talked myself into actually doing it. Bad Ass. I think my plan is to do toning exercises 3 times a week, MWF, then run twice a week, TuTh.
3. Ok, so 4th of July. Guess who went batshit crazy over the fireworks this year? Can't guess???? Well, I'll give you a few hints......He is adorable as all get out. He's spoiled rotten. Has blond hair. And fur all over.
Yes, it's my little schmookem's Wyatt.
That dog, I tell you what, I've never seen him go after fireworks like that before. He was about as excited as a kid on an IV drip of redbull who just ate 74 Ho-Hos. Every firecracker that went off, he'd run over and hop up and down looking for the where the noise came from. I think he thought it was gun shots and he was looking for the birdies or something. I don't know. Regardless, it was down right hilarious.
Here's a little video of it!
He's never done that before. I don't know why this year is so different, but whatevs.
4. Speaking of the 4th of July, my mom and her BF Hardy went to Arizona to visit his daughter and my grandma and aunts and uncles. They did the typical of just sitting by the pool and drinking beer (jerks-no I'm not jealous, not jealous at all), but one day, Mom talked Hardy into going to the airplane history museum, or something, that's down there (I'm assuming somewhere near Tucson, which was where they were staying). Anyways, he emails me this photo:
Sorry it's a little blurry, but you get the idea. That would be my mother on the right and my Aunt Linda on the left.
There are just no words.
It's shocking to know that we share the same DNA. Just shocking.
BTW, they're probably reading this right now (or at least my Uncle Charlie is), so HI EVERYONE!!!! Miss you and can't wait to visit next year!!!
5. Summer project #341 has commenced. Yes, as if staining the deck wasn't enough this summer, we decided to paint the house too. And start this project in the middle of July. With the temperatures ranging between a sweltering 103 to a boiling 942.
But really, it needed it.
So last weekend, in the thick of 103 degree temps, we break out the paint brushes and rollers.
I can not tell you how much water I drank, because I lost count after 120 oz. And that was before 3pm.
And I had the best get-up on. I wish I would have taken a picture, but I forgot. So sorry. I wore my swimsuit (because ever 2.4 minutes I was hosing myself off to keep cool), flip flops, and my Color Run headband to keep the sweat out of my eyes. I was puuuuurrrrtay. Don't worry though, I fit in just fine with Park Shity's finest.
But, about 4pm every night (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday), I cracked open my first Mr. Bud, closed my eyes, and took a loooong pull. Ahhhhhhh and all was blissfully wonderful in my world. Until I opened my eyes again and realized that I wasn't done painting yet. Fartsicles.
But we got really far, 3 out of the 4 sides are done.
Here's some pics:
Just gotta do the front and we're finished!
6. Ok. I saw this article the other day that was titled At 74, Jane Fonda 'never had such a fulfilling sex life'. First reaction.......EWWWwwwwwww.
I mean, I'm happy for the lady and all, but.......Ewwwwwww.
I'm sorry, I don't give two porcupine shits about Jane Fonda's sex life. Not two shits.
And the fact that she's 74........I mean, that's like picturing my grandparents........OHMYGOD EEEWWWWWwwwwwww.
I'm sure that when I'm her age and have great boomboomwow, I'll feel differently. But right now, not so much.
I mean seriously, we can't find something, ANYTHING, else to write about folks?!?!
7. I committed one of the 7 deadly sins the other night.
I know, you're not shocked. Neither am I.
I made this:
And while I made it for our upcoming vacation, somehow a "small" bag of it ended up in my desk drawer at work and I've been plowing through it for like 2 hours now. *palm to forehead*
I was telling Jordan about it last night, and the little hussy had to go and mention that she found a recipe for Lemon Puppy Chow (or Mud Buddies). LEMON! Made with white chocolate. So of course I had to stalk her Trest of Pin site for the recipe and proceed to steal said recipe for my own evil use.
I will be shoveling you in my hole soon. Very soon.
Oh well, the challenge starts next week, I can be a gluttonous heifer for a few more days.
8. OK, so I'm gonna tell you guys something, and you're going to be super duper jealy of me. Remember my Color Run recap post? And I said that I had more adventures after the Color Run? Well, I'm about to tell you about said adventures. And you're going to hate on me a little, but I just don't care. So there.
After the Color Run, I promptly went home and scrubbed all surfaces of my body to get all color out, which ended up being all for not, because some of the color was just going to chill on my skin. For days. And it was on my face. And it was yellow. Awesome. So I looked like a psych ward patient that got ahold of a highlighter and just went to town on my forehead and cheeks. It's fine.
Anyways, after that, and a nap, we planned on going out to dinner with some friends to a cajun food restaurant. And this is the jealous part. Not only did I get to see my friends Jordan, her husband Will, and our friend Evan, but I also got to hang with THE coolest chica. Her name is Ducky. I will love her, and pet her, and will hold her close. Ok, that might be a little overboard. Anyways, if you haven't checked out her blog of amazingness, get your butts in gear and march right on over there! Now! She is downright hilarious, has the most precious daughter, and has TONS of givaways!!! I mean she talks about shooting squirrels in the ass off her deck.....in town. What more do you need?!?!
So this is us:
Isn't she just the cutest thang ever?!?!
And she wore this adorable white dress with cowboy boots. I sorta hated on her for a minute because of her cute little outfit. But then got over it.
We talked about all sorts of crap. It was like we have been friendies forever! I can't wait to hang again.
So you're a little jealous huh? Ya, I would be too.
I just love meeting bloggers!!!
And to make you even more hatin' on me, this was my din-din::
And you're never going to believe what it was called.
It was The Coonass Chicken.
I ate some coonass.
It was actually delicious, crispy chicken over dirty rice with crab and shrimp on top. With this sort of creamy spicy sauce. YUMMERS!
After dinner we headed over to the new casino and had some drinks and pissed our money away. Well, literally and figuratively.
The casino was built right next to the Nascar track, so the bar we drank at looked over Turn 2. It was pretty bad ass.
Sorry, bad picture, but you can kinda see the bleachers in the background.
Then I lost some money, won some money, then we went home.
9. Any of you want a really good snack, that's good for you too?!?! Of course you do, because we're all trying to get healthier.
Well, have you ever heard of Cucumber Salsa?
Yup, me neither until last summer.
But this summer I have about 900 cucumbers coming up and had no idea what to do with them all, so I asked for the recipe and Oh My Giddy Aunt it is so easy and sooooo good!
Here's the recipe:
3-4 CUCS, SHREDDED (very important, must shred with cheese grater or food processor with the grating attachment.)
2-3 TOMATOES, CHOPPED
2 PACKETS RANCH
ONION (I just shredded this too, in the food processor, but you could probably chop it)
2-3 T VINEGAR
2 T SUGAR
JALAPENOS (I used about 3, but I likey likey spicy)
LIME AT THE END.
Mix all together and chill!
You can eat it will tortilla chips (homemade whole wheat, if you want it to be even more healthy), or even spoon over some chicken.
And it stays good for like weeks! Bonus!
10. Ok, I have some news, that while is GREAT for moi, you're going to hate it a little. I'm going on vacation next week!!!!! YEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
We will lay out, drink beer, fish, drink beer, boat, ski, read, drink beer, float, drink beer.......well, you get the idea.
I'm so excited I could just pee!
But, sadly, there is no internet down there, so not only will I not be able to follow your blogs, but I won't be able to bloggy blog blog myself.
But rest assured! When I get back I will have the ultimate of ultimate recaps!