Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Details schmeetails.

Well. Yesterday was kinda a big day over here in (now non-)beer land, huh? ;-)

First off, thank y'all so much for your comments and emails and congrats!!! It means so much to me to share this exciting news with y'all!

I'm sure you're wondering about all the details huh? Well, if you're not, your just going to sit your skinny asses down and read this anyway. And you're going to like it. Because this is the first baby, y'all. BIG.DEAL.CITY. And I'm pregnant, and I get what ever I want when I pregnant. So I've heard anyway. However, I just realized that I really want a nice frosty malt beverage on a beach somewhere while my feet get rubbed by Mr. Reynolds and the Magic Mike crew spoon feeds me butterfinger blasts from Sonic. And I highly doubt I'll be getting that 'want' any time soon. Shitballs.

OK, ran a little off subject there. Back to the baby!!!

I'm in the middle of my 10th week. The due date for the little whippersnapper is Aug. 18th, 2013. And you know what that means..........I'm going to be one cranky fat bitch this blazin' hot summer. So preeeeeeepare yourselves for that mess. Because it's going to be a wild ride folks.

We are going to find out the sex of the baby, but that won't happen until the end of March or beginning of April. So we've got awhile for that jazz. Which sucks balls, but what can you do.

Good news is we just had an ultrasound last week!!!


Yes, the baby looks like a little gummy bear blob right now. But if you look at the top right pic, there's the head on the left and then little stubs for the hands and feet, then the little butt. Awwwwwwww. Isn't it cute?!?!

Baby Wiksten is about 1 inch to 1.5 inches long right now and just lovin' life.

So far everything has gone really well.  I'm feeling good, well, as good as a pregnant woman can feel while wanting to hurl all day, and peeing every 2.3 seconds.

But truly, Ryan and I are over the moon excited.

Y'all know that I pretty much let it all out on here. I don't hold back. Because, well, what's the freaking point of holding back?!?! Right? Right. Well, at least for me. That's not for everyone, but for me, I'm balls to the wall. Or boobs to the wall. Whatever.

But the one thing I haven't told y'all or even mentioned on here, is that Ryan and I have been struggling to get pregnant for over a year and a half. It's been a looooooong ass time of doctor appointments, and peeing on a stick, and periods from Hell, and straight up bitchiness that would make Satan shit a brick.

Ryan and I talked right before I turned 30 and we decided that we wanted to start a family after I turned 30. So, my birthday came and went (in April, 2011), and then the summer hit, and we decided to wait till the end of summer to start trying. I spoke with my family physician, who I absolutely want to shank, but I'll get into that in a little bit, and she said that all I had to do was go off my birth control, then the next month we'd be good to go.

Easy peezy, lemon squeezy.
Not so much. 
More like big ol' stinky mammoth bullshit.

I got off my BC, Mother Nature graced me with a small present at the end of Sept., but then I didn't get that gift again until January. Damn near 3 months!!!! And I'm sure y'all know this, but I'm going to get a little detailed. If you don't have a period, you don't ovulate, if you don't ovulate, THERE'S NO WAY TO HAVE A BABY!!!!

First, my period in January was about the worst pain of my life and I had to be taken to the ER. Yay for suped-up pain meds!!! Pretty much felt like little trolls were using a cheese grater on my insides. It was awesome.  Of course I had tons of tests done and all the brilliant doctors could tell me was that this is just how it's going to be for awhile. Well, f*ck you very much Doc. I appreciate your words of wisdom. Jackass.

Anyways, long story short, that went on for about a year. Basically I'd only get my period once every three months, and I never knew when I was ovulating. It boils down to being on birth control since I was basically 16. About 2 months after I got my first ever period, I had a cyst burst on my ovary that was about the size of a grapefruit. I had to be rush to the OR and the doctors immediately cut me open. Then I proceeded to have those little bitch cysts about every 6 months, till I was about 26. I loved life. Let me tell you. Anyway, the docs put me on birth control at the time, because they said it would help. And I guess it did, part of the year.

Anyways, to say my 'woman system' was screwed up, is putting it mildly. ***NOTE: If you want to try and have kids, get off your freaking birth control for A YEAR before!!! Especially if you've been on it pretty much half your life. You'll thank me in the long run.*** 

My family doctor finally put me on a drug called Metphormin or something, that was supposed to help with creating ovulation. We tried it forever, and that didn't really work. And I was at the point of seriously strangling that bitch of doctor, she just had no insight, didn't know what to do, and I felt like I'd just wasted a year fucking around with her bullshit. So I did what any sane woman would do, and I found this nice older man and we ran away together and lived on his yacht in Greece.

The end.

Just kidding.

I finally found an OBGYN. Someone actually smarter than a box of crayons when it comes to the woman's parts. Ironically my other doctor was female, and this dude was male. Figures.

Anyways, he did some tests and we went for a few months, and we finally decided to try and get on Clomid. That's a fertility drug. And it makes you CRAYYYYYYY-CRAY. But it helps you make babies, so you put up with the psycho bitchiness to be a mama. Give and take people. Give and take.

My first dose of Clomid was normal. No mood swings, no crazy side effects. Just normal everyday la-tee-da life. And miraculously I got my period when I was supposed to!! Yippeeeee, except that I'd been peeing on a stick everyday to see when I ovulated, before my period, and got nada. So, I was finally getting my period at the normal time, but I wasn't ovulating. Perfect. Thank you body for continuing to be jacked up.

Second dose of Clomid we went up to 100mg, double what I started at. Which is normal, since it didn't really work the first time.  I took it for 5 days, waited another week, then started the process of peeing on an ovulation stick once a day. Again, no dice. I tested for about 3 weeks, and finally got my period, without having a positive ovulation test. Shitballs. At this point I'm a little frustrated and so is Ryan. You can imagine.

So, onto the 3rd dose. The doctor kept it at 100mg and we went through the whole process again. The only thing that was different about this dose is that my bitch-factor was in overdrive. No shit, I got flaming mad at Ryan one night for drinking a beer in front of me. Like, I wanted to kick him out of the house, or I wanted to move out and become a gypsy. Ya. Psychoooooooo. I don't even know how he put up with me that month. And remember when I was having all those hot flashes like a chick going 'through the change'???? Well, that was the crazy pills. They completely fucked up my mind and my body. BUT!!! I wanted a baby, so I put up with it. And Ryan didn't put me in a straight jacket. So win, win. I guess.

Two weeks go by after I started the meds, and it was about 3 days before Ryan left for deer hunting (the week right after thanksgiving). And still no ovulation. I was getting a little nervous, because he was going to be gone for 5 days and if I ovulated while he was gone and we didn't get a chance to do the boom-boom time, we would have to wait another month. And then I would for sure stab a person. I didn't know if I, or anyone around me, could put up with another dose of the crazy ovulation drugs.

But low and behold!!!! Two nights before he left, I was getting ready for bed, and I remembered that I didn't take my little ovulation test, so I grudgingly got up and peed on a stick. Then had to wait 3 minutes. The waiting is the worst. And I was tired. I just wanted to go to bed. CHRIST, hurry up ovulation stick!!!!


Smiley face!!!!

Yes, it was a digital ovulation test that gave you a smiley face when you tested positive.

YIPPEEEEEEE!!!!! The worlds have aligned!!! There is a God!!! It's a miracle!!!

I yelled at Ryan to strip, because we were finally going to make a baby!!!!

Obviously, it worked. Third time's the charm, I guess!!!!

I've decided that I'm going to chronicle the pregnancy here. I'm not going to post any creepy weekly fetus pictures on here though, because those things just scare the shit out of me. I can't even look at the pictures when I get my weekly updates on the baby's progress via email. It's a thing  I have. I'm weird like that.

But I am going to post different things about how I feel and what the baby's size is, and shit like that. Get excited.

BUT, I'm also going to continue with my Thursday thing, and the exercise thing, and the whole trying to NOT eat only ice cream and chocolate, because that's all the baby seems to want lately. So it's not going to be all pregnancy crap. I'm hoping some day that I can print all this out and make like a little book to give to the baby someday. So they know what it was like.

I'm also doing the belly pictures, so I'll put those up too. Although, the belly hasn't grown all that much yet. It just looks like I have a beer gut. But I can't drink beer. So life just sucks. Well, except for the baby part. Of course.

Anyways, there's going to be a lot of posts the next few weeks, because I started writing at about week 4, and have continued up until this week. So we'll have to back track a little before we get caught up with today. So bare with me.

So, that's it!!! I'm healthy, the baby's healthy, I have a beer gut, I want sweets 24/7, and everything else makes me want to yack.


  1. The first part of your story sounds almost exactly like what I went through before I got prego with kid #1. I never got to the Clomid stage but the last period I had before I conceived was induced by drugs...resulting in my due date being off by 5 weeks (which was quickly corrected during the first ultrasound). To this day, my doctor keeps telling me that she has absolutely no idea how I managed to get pregnant (much less twice) with all of my hormonal issues.

    I know you've been working on this project for quite some time and I am so happy that the planets all aligned so that you can make Wyatt a big brother! I can't wait to watch your progress over the next 7 months (oh, and my second child is an August baby so I can completely sympathize with you going through the summer feeling as big as a house...if you ever want to commiserate, you know how to reach me ;)

  2. I'm so glad you are preggers. One of my really good friends is in your situation and stressing out because she can't get pregnant. I would shank your doctor too if she told me I would get pregnant by just going off bc....because I've been told countless times it can take a lot of time, depending on how long you've been on bc, for your body to readjust.

  3. man doesn't the pill just jack your system.. I have a similar story. I was on the pill since 18 and tried to start having a baby at 33 and I went off the took me almost a year to get pregnant and I was ovulating. I swore I will never go back on the pill because obviously that is some potent stuff going into my body. I am over joyed your will be an awesome mom and I can't wait to read you progress blogs!

  4. I'm glad you finally succeeded after having to try for that long! You EARNED that baby!

  5. CONGRATULATIONS, LAURA!!!!! I'm so happy for you. This is wonderful news. You know I just got a new grandbaby here at my place. He is a beauty too. I was like you. I was told at age 14 that I would never be able to get pregnant. Periods all screwed up and all that. Low and behold when I got married and went to talk to the doctor about fertility drugs I was already pregnant naturally. Of course, that was because my children's biological father is some kind of hyper sperm producer or something. He had 4 more kids with different people after we split. We had 3 together. Anyway, I'm so excited for you and I wish you and Ryan and the little baby the very best. Hugs and Kisses.

  6. BTW, the fake beers taste awful, but the baby is so worth giving up the suds!

  7. all the heartache of trying to get pregnant will be well worth it...already is huh?!

    looking forward to hearing more as the pregnancy progresses.

  8. One of my dear friends had trouble conceiving too and they put her on Chlomid. She had a severe allergic reaction so she had to immediately get off it, but it worked because she found she was pregnant the next month. : )

    So very happy, you and Ryan are going to be terrific parents.

    Obviously you want the baby healthy and happy - but are you leaning slightly to wanting a boy or a girl at this time?

  9. As I've said before, I'm SO happy for y'all! Also, I found a store where we can buy kidlet things in camo for bulk discount pricing!! Awesome, yes?! I thought you'd think so! lol Hugs!


  10. way back when we tried the clomid route- did't work because I have PCOS and the hubs had his own issues so we had to go the invetro fertilization route (3 times before that worked) I got my twin boys out of that 11 years ago. Then my doctor and i decided to try metformin to help me lose weight, he failed to tell me it would help me ovulate, well 9 months later we welcomed our daughter who is now 3-
    I am all too familuar with the emotional roller coaster of the drugs used to induce pregnancy, I'm glad that it worked out for you and am hoping for an uneventful pregnancy.

  11. yay....what awesome news and congratulations!

  12. yay....what awesome news and congratulations!

  13. You are going to be a wonderful mom. I am so excited!!

  14. This is so cool! I'm so happy for you guys. I can't wait to read all about the happenings in your belly.
    Want me to take up drinking beer while you're off the hooch, just to keep the universe in proper alignment? I can't promise I can keep up to your standards, but I'll give it a shot!
    Happy day :-)


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