Prepare yourselves. Someone pissed in my mini wheats this morning.
1. Ya. For some reason I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe it was the fact that I got about ohhhh..................negative sleep last night. Or the fact that I woke up at 4:30 with a headache. Or it could be that I feel like I'm going to yack. I mean, chocolate doesn't even sound good. There's something seriously wrong if chocolate doesn't sound good. Maybe I should go to the hospital and get all sorts of tests done. Like, maybe I have some disease in the brain that makes me think I don't like chocolate!!! That's like a death sentence!!! Or maybe I could just sit here and trudge through the rest of the day and pretend that I'm a burst of sunshine out a rhino's ass.
2. Sooooooo, remember a few days ago I was all 'exercise badass' and was going to get up and work out in the mornings?!?! Well, that ship sunk. Straight up Titanic style. I have yet to get up. Once. I suck. Good news is I'm really going to try to get up tomorrow. And I made a running/walking date with my friend Lindsey on Saturday morning. So that's working out two times in a week. Please, hold your applause on that stellar achievement.
3. I saw this on the Trest of Pin, and thought it was appropriate for my life.
Someone needs to get that shit made for me. ASAP.
4. I find these hilarious. Just brightens my day.
5. This weekend we head up to my Mom's for our last Christmas. Yes, yes, I'm still doing Christmas in January. But this one will be fun. We're ordering a shitload of chinese food for supper on Saturday night! Is that not the best idea ever?!?! We don't have to cook, to clean you just put the shit in the trash, and it's amazing!!! I'm so excited. Almost as excited as opening gifts. Almost.
6. Remember when I told you that my husband 'works' at this company that 'plays' a lot? Like they had to go on a fishing trip to get fish for their company fish fry? Then they bought like $900 worth of booze for their Christmas party? And then his boss decided to take them all on a hunting trip to shoot wild hogs out of helicopters? Ya. Pretty much my husbands wet dream of a job. Anyway. The hog hunt was last weekend.
They called it Ham Slammin' 2013. It was 3 days of total boy shittasticness. They got to shoot guns at wild animals out of a flying object. They got to shoot guns at explosives, and blow up a car. They got to eat things like Moose Roast and other 'wildlife'. And they got to do it all FREE! Well, you better believe it was free, because there's no way in Hell we'd be pulling $2600 out of our savings just so he can get a 2 hour rush of shooting out of a helicopter. Maybe his next wife will allow that, but I don't' know if I can stomach that yet.
Well, to say they had fun is an understatement. I've never seen him so excited about something. Seriously. It'd be the equivalent of us (women) going on a trip to some secluded beach where we got to shop for shoes for 3 solid days and got to eat/drink whatever we wanted w/o gaining an ounce, and we didn't have to pay a single cent for any of it.
Here's them blowing up 17 pounds of tannerite. (Tannerite is a powder that you mix together, then we you shoot it, it goes BOOM.) Scroll to the end.
This is what it did to the car:
And this is what a trip in the helicopter was like:
Total I think they killed like 300+ hogs and 100+ coyotes. Ridiculous. FYI, before you get all peta on my ass, this trip was in Texas, and the hogs down there are literally taking over the land. Destroying crops and basically destroying the earth so that you can't plant anything for years. They're also eating all the vegetation so cattle and other animals have nothing to eat. Which is making the hamburger you buy at the grocery store go up in price because the cows have to be fed grain. This is not malicious or anything like that. This is a service. It's the same thing as killing all the fleas off your dog.
There. I'm off my soap box.
Anyways, he had fun. His boss deserves a metal for boss of the year, I think.
Truth be told, I make fun of it, but secretly deep down that'd be so badass to do. Maybe we will save up and go down together. How romantic. lol
But, I had fun while he was gone because I did jack-shit all weekend. Puppy and I took lots of naps. It was glorious.
7. You know, I'm pretty sure I was meant to grow up and live on a beach. I don't know, it's just a feeling. Even though I've lived in Kansas the majority of my life, it's still not my 'favorite' place. It's flat. Some parts have no trees. The weather is a cracked out freak most of the time. And there's no beach. But, hey, it's home.
One thing I do love about Kansas though??? Sunsets and sunrises. Each morning this winter I've gotten to see the sun rise on my way to work and it's always breathtaking. These are bad photos because I was *gasp* driving. But you get the idea.
8. Someone has found a 'new' comfortable spot when we're downstairs watching TV.
Yes. That would be the couch.
How could I say no to that face?!?! And most of the time he snuggles right up next to me. Definitely can't say no to that!
(Just for you Cat!)
9. I'm making a public service announcement to all peeps on Facebook. STOP FREAKING SENDING ME GAME / BIRTHDAY / CALENDER / WHATTHEFUCKEVER REQUESTS!!!! I don't give two shits about playing drunk-truck-driver-farmland-candy-explosion bullshit. And if I haven't talked to you in, I don't know, since maybe high school, I really don't think you need my birthday on your calender. So stop asking. Facebook tells you it's my birthday. If you feel the need to wish me a happy one, by all means. But I doubt you need an additional calender reminder for someone that you haven't spoken to in 16 years.
That is all.
10. I really want a spicy pickle. I'm going to hunt one down.
Have a great weekend everyone!!!