To the farmer that planted the corn field on Hap McLean Park Rd.: I added some extra nutrients to one of your corn stalks this evening in the way of my supper. Your welcome for helping your corn grow better.
To the F-ing doe that *popped* out of the grass field and made my heart stop mid-beat: The next time I see you I will be carrying the biggest baddest rifle Ryan owns to pump you so full of lead that Swiss cheese will have less holes.
This is what shiny looks like:
Holy Sweaty Shitballs, I didn't realize I looked so...appealing. I apologize for putting you all through that. It won't happen again.
Praise be to chocolate covered Oreos and Belgium waffles with whipped cream. (Two of which I haven't seen since Christmas.)