WTF Wednesday

So, I read Draz's WTF Wednesday and decided that I wanted to bitch a little, so I thought I'd share with y'all my bitches. You are so lucky.

• I don't want to work today. At all. Not even a little bit. But people keep bothering me with stupid shit, like 'Where is this product?' and 'When will this be done?' and 'I can't find this, do you know where it is?' Um yes, I know where everything is. Because I'm a genius. WTF! Stop bothering me!! Can't you see I'm busy pinteresting?!?!

• On the lines of work bullshit, I mentioned to our 'Safety Coordinator' the other day (who does happen to be a friend of mine, and by friend I mean we are so sarcastic to each other that people think we hate each other, it's fun) that since I've been employed at my shit-stain from Hell job (I really don't mean that, I love my job, but I'm in a pissypants mood right now so I hate everything), we have never, not once, had a tornado drill or fire drill. WTF? Probably, just might be a good idea, hmmm???? Anyways, he comes up to me the other day and says, "I got your tornado deal figured out, you need to go outside and into another building's basement, mmkay?" Um no, not ok. Not at all. GO OUTSIDE?! During a tornado?! Spank you very much but I don't think so. I'll curl up under my desk before I go outside and things get all Wizard the Oz on my ass.

• I have only run 3.1 miles in 1.5 weeks. WTF is wrong with me? I tried to get up this morning, but then slept in till 7am. People, I have to work 30 minutes away, so that left me with 30 minutes to get ready. Needless to say my hair looks like a crack whore's, with an extra sprinkle of messy toddler hair added. But seriously, why am I not running? Why?! Maybe tomorrow.......

• I have decided that 79.6% of Wichita drivers have not taken a real driver's ed course. I'm pretty sure they just learned to drive by having their 105 year old granny show them in her turtle slow 1930 crank up Model T.  Wichitan's can't use proper turn signals, can't pass other cars, can't drive even the minimum speed limit, and don't know the proper use of the LEFT LANE! Listen up dumbass Wichita drivers: The left lane is used for PASSING another vehicle. It is NOT used to go 12 miles below the speed limit, just like the other two cars in the next two lanes beside you. And you SHOULDN'T drive like that for 86 miles while there is a build up of 908 cars behind you, riding your ass, and waving their arms like a lunatic (not that I ever do this) until you finally get the point and move your ass over. Oh, and one more thing: don't get all sassypants and flip me off, you brought this on yourself, buddy.

• Why can I not say no to sugar? WTF is going on with my mental capacities that I feel the need to shove pound after pound of sugar in my hole all day long??? Seriously, yesterday I tried to go the whole day sans the sugarDevil. I made it till 1:03pm and had to go to the vending machine to get cupcakes. Gahhhhh! I need an intervention.

Draz is right. I feel so much better now.