Friday, January 31, 2014

Remember me?

I'm still around.
Did ya miss me?

So you know how I was trying to give up sugar.....ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... 3 months ago. Ya. Well, that never happened. But now that Fatty McFatterson has lived on a binging spree for 90 days, I figure it's time to reign that bitch in.

Utnil the magical Girl Scout cookie salesdad came in to ask what my 'pre-order' was going to be for his daughter..................................




Naturally, I told him 10 boxes.

Then I thought I'd be a genius and buy a bag of Hershey's Dark Chocolate Kisses......thinking that I'm going to eat chocolate no matter what, so I might as well have some 'good' chocolate, versus the 12-pack of mini-donuts from the vending machine. Yes. I know. Be jealous of my geniusness.

Well, I got stressed today and have almost eaten the entire package.

I believe this is what you call Winning At Life.
And I have the pant size to prove it.

In the spirit of my ballooning buttocks, I have decided that February is a good month to get my shit together. Why February you ask??? Because if I don't change my fatliciousness I will be the size of a dumptruck by swimsuit season. And no one at Table Rock Lake needs to see the thunder thighs at their finest this summer.

I made a deal with a chick at work that we'd go to two YMCA classes on Tuesday and Thursdays. So, I've got that going.

Now I just need to actually EAT the lettuce I buy. Instead of pretending it's a pretty science experiment for when Dillyn starts 5 years.

Baby steps people. Baby steps.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Ten Things Thursday

Wowza. It's been a while for this. But here we go!!!

1. My lovely little co-worker Vicky is out for today and tomorrow, so I thought I'd be nice and do some of her backed up work while she was gone.
That's big 'ol batwings me, printing a dial on our Pad Printer. Don't fall outta your rolly chair because of your excitement to see this. I know. It's hard to do. Such an exciting job.

Oh and I'm not doing this for's Beer Friday tomorrow and she WILL be buying me multiple beverages. Yes, yes she will.

2.  Little D is going to a new daycare in a little over a week. I've hemmed and hawwed (spelling???) about what to do for months, and basically decided to bite the bullet and try a new one.

The one she is currently at is ok. I mean, she comes home clean, she's fed, doesn't seem irritated, but there are just a few things that bug the ever-lovin' shit outta me. Like the fact that the daycare lady's teenage son is all up in Dillyn's business, giving her kisses and just in her face. All.The.Time. Like, I'm trying to put D in the car seat and he's got his head between me and my baby. I basically want to be all, "If you don't back the fuck up, I'm going to go cray cray mommy on your skinny pimply faced ass!"

But I haven't done that.....yet. I have told him 'That's enough' and he still does it. And the daycare lady LETS HIM!

Oh and the other day, she said, "Well, Dillyn didn't burp after her afternoon feeding, because the kids couldn't get her too." Ummmmm, the kids are about 5 years old, so if they're feeding her, then we have a little issue.

Anyways, I found a stay at home mom that wants a little extra income and will only have her 2 daughters and another 2mo old, which is a girl. So Dillyn will not only have a smaller daycare, she'll actually have another baby in there that's close to her age.....which I LOVE! The lady's young and clean and just well put together. She seems soooo nice. I mean, she went out and bought all this....with her OWN money:
And she bought new spoons and bowls for feeding!

Dillyn's current daycare has NONE of that! NONE!

I'm already just so impressed and have such a better feeling about it!

3. I'm still going strong on the No Poo thang. Remember like a kazillion months ago when I wrote that I was just starting it, well, I'm still at it. I've got a mixed reaction......1: I LOVE that I don't have to waste time washing my hair every damn day. 'Cause I'm lazy folks, plain and simple. If I could spend that 5 minutes just standing under the hot water vs. actually moving my arms and hands to wash my hair....I'll take the standing and doing nothing. Yup, that's how lazy I am. Don't hate.
2: I also like that it's cheap as all hell.
3: I really don't notice a difference in my hair. And sometimes it's really hard to manage. But then again, I may be doing something wrong. Who the hell knows.

But I'm going to keep at it, just because it's cheap and I do like it.
Here's a pic I took a few weeks ago, with a pick I took right after starting it.
A few weeks ago. Pretty, glossy, and volume...PLUSES!
This was taken right after I started. I don't really notice a difference.
4. I've been going to this new store in my town called The Rusted Rooster. They got cool shit like this:


I have the deer necklace.....of course.

It's just this completely fun shop that has antiques, jewelry, soaps, lotions, little kids vintage clothing, EVERYTHING!

And it's soooo inexpensive! That  necklace was $9. NINE FREAKING DOLLARS!!!

But every time I walk in there, I get this overwhelming urge to start being creative. All I've thought about for 2 months is getting back into making jewelry, and painting, and photography, and just doing crafty shit!

Maybe I'll talk the hubby into letting me use half his 'hunting room' for a craft room.......ya, we'll see about that.

5. OH YA, my back.  OK, so I went to the Chiro, and I was all outta wack. My lower vertebrae were jacked up, so he loosened the muscles around the bones and cracked me back in place. My hip's all jacked up too, and he helped with that. Now I've gotta do stretches twice a day so the muscles don't tighten up and pull the vertebrae out of place. It's sore as all hell, and it's difficult to stand or sit for a long period of time without it hurting. But at least I'm not having back spasms any more!!! Jumping for joy on that one, let me tell you.

They did keep asking me how I hurt it......ya, definitely wasn't going to tell them it was wiping my own ass, and that basically I'm old saggy tits now and my body just gives out on a whim. Nope, not going to mention all that jazz.

6.  I kinda wish today was Friday. Actually I kinda wish every Thursday was Friday. A 3 day weekend every week would be absolutely splendid. Dontcha think???

That freaking sprint commercial cracks me up every time!
But I thought this was just as hilarious.
It's the little things people.

8.  Seriously:


9.  You know those moments when all you want to do is get on Pintrest and waste away the day....with a beer or 10?

I'm having one of those. Right.Now.

10. I shall leave you with this, because it made me giggle, and it's so true to all of you:

Cheers to beers folks!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Holy Crap Non-blogger….Get your shit together!

Hey y'all.
What's up?
Whats'a'been happenin'?!

You probably thought I died or got abducted by hot Adam Levine/Ryan Reynolds stupid beer loving aliens. If the latter was the case, I can tell you I probably wouldn't be blogging now. Well, now that I think about it, in either case I wouldn't be blogging now.

So, I'm here. Just been busy being a momsta. (That's kinda like a gangster, but a mom too. Don't ask.)
Here's little one the last few months (Her 5 mo pics are this weekend, so I'll update those later):

I tell you what…that little nugget had some skinny little legs when she was first born!

There is nothing I love more than being a mom to that sweet little chubby cheeked goddess!!!
So, ya. That's kept me a little busy. Well, a lot busy.

Then Christmas came…..and went. And then, last week, I got a bullshit cold straight from Satan's butthole.

My plan this week was to get back into the whole gym thing. You know…..jump back on that hamster wheel of death and all. Thank you Lindsey for THIS enlightening article on the history of the dreadmill. I can now die having lived a fuller life knowing that I'm not the only person that believes that piece of shit is a true torture device.

What was I talking about???

Oh, ya, getting back to the gym. Ya. Right.

I was completely planning on that, and then my body decided that my youthful 32 years of age was a joke and decided to act 97.

There I was, enjoying a little quite time on the royal throne (at work mind you), when I went to wipe my ass and my back went out. Seriously. I can not make this shit up. Wiping my ass and my back goes out!!!! W.T.F?!

I had to grip the handicap bars like some feeble wimp, nearly passing out because of the pain, all the while thinking, 'Sweet Baby Jesus, please don't let the EMTs find me with my pants at my ankles. I think these funerwares have holes in them.'

Somehow I made it to an upright position, with my pants. I still don't know how. I think I blacked out. But oh, Holy Hell, even if I try to bend over in the slightest, my lower back spasms like a fly in a bug zapper. I went to my masseuse last night, thinking it was a muscle issue… dice. Today I shuffled around like some hunchbacked loser with a heat pack strapped around my waist, that strongly resembled a diaper. I am winning at life people. Winning. Be jealous.

Wednesday is the chiropractor. Sweet tubs of butter, I hope he can fix things.

I have decided that the last time this happened I was 6 months pregnant and had gained 40 lbs. And I wasn't exercising. Coinkydink?????

Since I can't get on the dreadmill, I'm going to eat better. Today was salad. And it was actually yummy. I mean, I'm not going to lie, if it had been drizzled in dark chocolate it would have been even more yummy. Damn, I love my sweets. But the sweets and me are trying to break up……again. We'll see how that goes.

For now. I'm slowly getting into a better rhythm, and hopefully will get into a more permanent work out and eating better thang.

Oh, and blogging more. ;-)

Till next time yo.
Cheers y'all!