Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Cleansing my Juices - Day 2

Well, now. Isn't this interesting. I'm still alive. And haven't had sugar in 24+ hours. I am shocked people. SHOCKED. I for sure thought I would die if I didn't have some sort of sugarfest during the day.

I woke up feeling pretty good. Like I said yesterday, I got the shittiest night of sleep. So I wanted to stay in the covers. All.Damn.Day. But I didn't. I got up and got ready for work. Surprisingly, I wasn't starving. And I didn't feel the need for a gallon of coffee thru an IV drip. And, I kinda couldn't wait for some juice. Huh. Interesting my dear Watson, very interesting.

Day 2 Weight: 156.4
Day 2 Mood: Slightly better.....I don't want to slap a dwarf bunny rabbit or anything, but I'm still in a funk.

7:30am-Juice 1: A little strong on the romaine, but otherwise pretty good. It actually tastes better than yesterday. I don't know if it's a mind thing or what. But I thoroughly enjoyed it!
New profile pic???? 

8:30am: Que the headache. It's not throbbing, but it's just there.

10:00am-Juice 2: Extra spicy today for some reason. But very quenching! It really hit the spot! And after I finished, I found myself reaching for more. But I guzzled some water. BTW, I've been drinking LOTS of water during this. I think it helps the cravings. But I pee about every 5 seconds. lol

12:30pm-Juice 3: Pretty much same as Juice 1. My headache is still around, but I've determined it's completely due to not having any caffeine. Otherwise, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm not starving or anything, and it's kinda nice to just grab the juice and go. I'm also beginning to really like this (eating)drinking 6 times a day thang. It really keeps me more in a mellow mood. I feel like I don't have as many ups and downs. And I have ZERO cravings for sugar.

2:15pm-Poop Report (You might want to skip this paragraph if you don't care for bowel movements.  I still feel the need to post about it.) BTW, this is for you Vanessa!: Ok, so I had my first dookey since Sunday, and let me just tell I'm amazed people. I mean, I drop the kids off at the pool about once a day, usually, so I'm regular, but lets just say things don't seem 'right'. But my little poops today were gorgeous! If poop can be gorgeous. I mean it was probably the best number 2 I've had in a long time. And only after 1 day people! ONE DAY! Of juicing!

You know what this tells me, yup, that I eat like crap and my body hates life trying to detoxify itself.

3:00pm-Juice 4: This has become my favorite juice so far. The Beet-le-Juice. I'm serious. I could actually drink this every morning. It's sweet and smooth and just all around yummy!!! I may just plant beets in the garden next year! Woop woop!  Bad part: I got beet juice on my white shirt. Boo-city.

6:00pm-Juice 5: I actually got to drinking this late because I was talking to a friend and by the time I got home and got Dillyn settled I didn't realize it was time for juice! That's something. I hadn't had anything for 3 hours and wasn't even hungry.  I think my stomach has gotten used to me not overloading it with 50 lbs of crap every day.

7:30pm-Juice 6: This is the milk again, and I'm still not a fan. It's just that cinnamon and nutmeg don't really dissolve in fluids. Even if I shake it up, I'm still getting chunks of cinnamon that kinda make me want to heave. But I choke it down. It's still refreshing to have something other than juice at the end of the day. And I've gotta say, Almond Milk is actually pretty good. I really like it and might start drinking it regularly.

All in all I couldn't believe I got through Day 2 so easily! I thought for sure that it would get really tough by the middle of the day, but nope, I actually started feeling better!  I will say that I'm still having cravings for 'bad' stuff. For some reason, nachos sound amazing. And a cheese burger. But I'm really not interested in my normal breakfast sandwiches, and I do really want a big salad. Actually, for the most part, 'bad' foods don't sound good. Like with the nachos, it's just that I really want cucumber salsa, with some tortilla chips. And the burger, I could totally make healthier than a drive-thru version.

I have dropped about 5 lbs so far, which I know is total water weight, but at least it seems like a small victory!

We'll see how things go after Day 3. Maybe my body and cravings are changing. And maybe they will stick with the healthified foods.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Cleansing my Juices.....Day 1

Hi there sweetums!!! I know, I've been MIA. Life is a suck hole of gardening, being puked on, trying to teach Dillybean to crawl (to udder fails), and propping my eyelids open with toothpicks most days. Yes, glamorous. Don't you just crave to be me.

Speaking of cravings. Mine our like they've snorted Red Bull with a little speed mixed in. Seriously. OUT.OF.CONTROL. My ability to shove pounds upon pounds of chocolate in my mouth is amazing. I mean truly. I never knew I could eat that much chocolate and not turn into an Oompa-Loompa.....or die. And then there's the craving for the fattiest, fried, grease laden burgers on the planet. Me and the drive thru are besties. Fo'Real.

And magically, my face looks like a NY city potholed street. I can barely find enough energy to cook supper.......oh wait.......I don't have enough energy to cook, so my poor husband is starving. AND I'm a moody bitch.

Wonder if there's a connection there?!?!

Ummmmm, Me thinks so matey.

So, my lovely friends Draz and Sarah had this fabulous idea to start a cleanse. I was all skepticalpants, because, well, me likey likey sugar....but I thought I'd give it a go. We researched a bunch of different types, and we ended up going with different kinds. I decided to cleanse my juices......I mean, do a juice cleanse. hehe. (I'm sure I'm the only one giggling at myself right now. I'm weird. It's fine.) The fact that some of the symptoms of a 'toxic' body are fatigue, sugar cravings, junk food cravings, lack of interest in exercise, depression, moodiness, etc., and that a juice cleanse can help fix those.........SOLD!

This article explains a lot and is very helpful.
The idea is that when our bodies are freed from the burden of digesting solid food, they can more efficiently release the toxins swimming in our system. 

I got on the ol' Trest of Pin and found a great blog that had grocery lists, recipes, and what was good about the mixture of fruits and veggies.  I searched for other juice cleanse recipes, and they were all basically the same, but with less detail. So I went back to the first blog.  I read countless reviews and comments, and I just got inspired by how awesome everyone said it is. How after 3 days one girl actually craved veggies and fruit, and that's all she wanted to eat for weeks. And another had so much energy she started training for a marathon.  Now, I know that I'm not that lucky....or have some of those glorious 'side effects', I'm just hoping that this will push me to be a little bit more healthier.

I figure, if I'm into a solid 3 days of no sugar, no junk, no booze, no nussing!, I can continue that trend of eating right, and *cross my fingers* it will push me back into exercising. Maybe it will make me crave veggies more. Maybe I will have more energy. Maybe I'll fart glittery kale for next 18 years. Who knows. (BTW, the main ingredient in the juice is Kale.....I've never drank so much kale in my life).

So, Day 1 was yesterday. Nothing but 6 different juices, all day. Nothing else. Oh the joy.
I made all the juices the night before and put them in their own individual container, that way it was easy to grab and go. I have my own juicer, which is the only way to go, so it was pretty simple.

Starting Weight: 161
Beginning Mood: Feels like run over dog shit.

*NOTE* This is for (2) people, so I halved everything!
7:30am-Juice 1: Not bad. Actually it didn't make me gag at all.....which was surprising. I could really taste the romaine in there, and while it's weird to drink what tastes like a salad for breakfast, but it went down fairly smooth. I'm in a shitty mood because it's Monday. And all I want is a damn sausage, egg, and cheese greasetastic biscuit from McShittle. But I didn't cave. Because I have juice. Fucking stab me.

8:30am: Starting to get a little hungry. And I have a headache. And I want coffee.......LOTS AND LOTS OF COFFEE.

9:00am: I made a cup of green tea, because I can't have coffee and if I don't get some caffeine in my bloodstream soon I will go psycho.

9:15am: Realize I hate green tea and now I want to puke.

10:00am-Juice 2: Ok, this is slightly weird. The ginger adds a little spicy-spicy to it, but it's still sweet. I mean, it's drinkable, but not my favorite.  I really have to choke it down because I still feel nauseous from the damn green tea. But by the time I got half way thru, I started to feel better. And strangely I really like the spiciness of the ginger. It's like a little Spicy Asian Party in my mouth. And who wouldn't like that?!

11:30am-Holy effing monkey balls I'm starving. STARVING! I want FOOD! Real FOOD! But I stayed strong. Dolphin claps for me.

12:30pm-Juice 3: Pretty much Juice 1 with ginger. So not bad. The romaine taste with the ginger is a pleasant delight......just kidding, it's weird. So weird. But not bad. It's hard to explain. My headache is gone, and I'm starting to feel 'better'. Don't know how to describe it, but I'm not starving any more, and I'm actually looking forward to the next juice.....kinda.

3:00pm-Juice 4: Beets. Beet juice. Beet juice with ginger. (Did anyone think Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice when reading that, or was it just me?) I'm not a big fan of beets. Actually, I haven't had them in about......oh......never. But they just never appealed to me. And the fact that you put in a whopping amount of ginger in there......ummmmm, I was fully expecting the gag. Surprisingly it was sweet! Not spicy at all, and it was really, really good.  I'm not sure if my taste buds are just mocking me, or they're in deep hibernation mode because of all the good shit I'm gulping down and they're not used to it, but I'll take it!

4:00pm-Feeling very, very exhausted. It's like my brain just wants to shut down. Now this may be because I've been speed-gardening for 4 days without relaxing. Or it could be because I haven't had solid food in, like, forever. (or so it seems).

5:00pm-Juice 5: Very sweet. Very Pineapple-ey. I'm not a huge fan of pineapple, but the juice was still pretty good. I was kinda distracted by my friend Tamra and teaching her all about gardening, so that helped. My energy was back, but barely. And my mood was a little better, but I still felt sluggish.

7:30pm-Juice 6: Now, this really isn't a juice, it's Almond Milk, with cinnamon, nutmeg, and vanilla. And it was ok. Pretty strong on the cinnamon. But it's good. It's actually refreshing. Since it's not really a juice, and feels like it has more substance to it. And since I drank it before I went to bed, I think he kinda helped coat my stomach so I wasn't craving other crap.

All in all, I was pretty sluggish yesterday. I only had a slight headache in the morning, and it wasn't unbearable or anything. I was pretty surprised at myself, making it 1 whole day without caving. But truly, junk food didn't even sound good. There was one time, when Ryan was making left over jambalaya that I thought seriously about licking his plate, but I held back. I also didn't get the best nights sleep....At. All. I don't know if that had anything to do with juicing, or my body is just hating life. But oh well.

Tune in tomorrow for Day 2 Review!!!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Ten Things Thursday

Ok. Lots to talk about.

1. So remember 2 years ago, when I had eye surgery? Because I was basically blind and paying $3700 to 'fix' my eyes was completely worth it.


Well. About 2.4 seconds after I got pregnant, my eyes changed and required me to wear glasses.
Well, after a year of wearing glasses, I'm getting a little stabby. I mean, they were cute for about 2 minutes, but trying to exercise in them, and wearing my 'badass' side shields at work pushed me to the edge of Crankypantsville.

So I went to the eye surgery dude and 'At this time, another surgery isn't possible.'
Of course it's not.
Spank you very much.

Then, I went to a different eye dude and got contacts.
Hi, big forehead.
So, 2 years, 3700 holla for my dolla(s) later, I'm pretty much in the same boat as I was before.

Oh well. It's not guaranteed and I knew that going in. And at least I an still sorta see without contacts or glasses. So, whatevs.


I posted this recipe on FB:
Crisp Cucumber Salsa
Note: 1/4 cup is only 16 calories! YES!!!
2 cups finely chopped seeded peeled cucumber
1/2 cup finely chopped seeded tomato
1/4 cup chopped red onion
2 Tbsp minced fresh parsley
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and chopped
4-1/2 tsp minced fresh cilantro
1 garlic clove, minced or pressed
1/4 c reduced-fat sour cream ( I would Use Greek yogurt instead of sour cream)
1-1/2 tsp lemon juice
1-1/2 tsp lime juice
1/4 tsp ground cumin
1/4 tsp seasoned salt
Tortilla chips

In a small bowl, combine the first seven ingredients. In another bowl, combine the sour cream, lemon juice, lime juice, cumin and seasoned salt. Pour over cucumber mixture and toss gently to coat. Serve immediately with chips.

 Now, my friendy Tamra made some and added Dill and Coriander (I think). Anyways, it was the!!!!
Isn't she so sweet to pack me a little snack for lunch!!!
Well, that little snack just made me crave it. So, I had to make a HUGE batch for myself. (Which will probably last 28.I-can't-stop-eating-it minutes.)

I made it a little different though.
Here's my recipe:

Spicy Cucumber Salsa
6 Cucumbers, seeded and chopped (or shredded in a food processor)
6 Roma Tomatoes, seeded and chopped
2 Pkts Ranch Dressing Mix
1/2 Red Onion, chopped or shredded
1-2 Jalapenos, chopped
1/2-1 Bunch of Cilantro, Chopped 
2-3 T Vinegar
1-2 T Lime Juice

I shred the cucs and onions because I like the way it comes out better than chopping. But if you don't have a food processor, it kinda sucks balls to shred it by hand. So I'd just chop it.

BTW, even tho the tortilla chips are not that healthy for you, you could make your own with corn or flour tortilla's. You could also use this as a salad dressing! It's amazing over a crisp leaf lettuce salad with a little shredded cheese, spicy grilled chicken, corn and black beans!!! That's if you don't mow down the entire bowl the night you make it. Not that has ever happened to me.

It'D also be good for fish tacos!!!!

If I could figure out a way to can this to eat all year I would.
BTW, this is also the sole reason I plant about 10 cuc plants every summer......just for cuc salsa!

3.  I have exercised zilch in the last week and a half. ZILCH! WTF is wrong with me!?!?!

I was a rock star for about 5 days, then I started getting sick. Then Ryan was sick. Then I just didn't feel like working out. Or eating right, for that matter.

And then I gained back the 3 lbs that I lost while being a rock star.

This fucking revolving door of wanting to change my lifestyle and then going back to the same old crappy ways is getting old. Real old.

I'M GETTING TIRED OF YOUR SHIT, MISS LACK OF MOTIVATION!!!! That's right! I'm talking to you, ho-bag lazy ass!!!!

Sorry, just a little screaming match at my inner demons there. Nothing to be concerned about. Moving on.

I seriously need to get my shit together. I need to find out why I think it's ok to skip the gym. And why I think it's ok to eat that sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit from McShitalds every morning. My lack of motivation and unwillingness to finish ANYTHING I start is an issue. I mean, how many times on here have I 'Started Over', and then a few months later, fall off the wagon again.

By far, I think the 5 days I lasted this last time is the quickest I've jumped ship ever. It is also the most pathetic.

Now, I know it's good that I keep trying. And I know it's probably not great that I beat myself up for not sticking with it so hard. But damn it, I need SOMETHING to keep me accountable!

My wise husband, who I kind of want to kick in the ass sometimes (but in the most loving way), pointed out that I'm making promises to you all, and trying to be accountable to you, but I'm not following through. And what does that show you guys?!?! Huh??!! It shows that I'm an effing loser. UGH!

In my effort to start over, AGAIN, I'm going to take baby steps. Tonight: I WILL EXERCISE!
That's all I can do right? Take it one day at a time for now.

4. After that self-bashing bullet, we need a little happy.

Here's Miss Dillyn enjoying her carrots:
That little firecracker is amazing. She gets in these moods where everything is hilarious. And that day it was carrots. What a weirdo. Just like her mama. lol

5. My birthday is on Monday. I will be a whopping 33. I mean, 29.

6. Wanna know what I asked The Husband for my birthday? Of course you do. I asked him to make it the most romantic day ever. Ya. I'm that good people. I've been sending him emails with ideas. We'll see what happens.

And it doesn't even have to be over the top fly-me-to-Paris-for-a-candlelight-dinner-crap or anything. The other day he told me he loved me. That was enough for me! I'm so excited though I could just pee sunshine!!!

7.  I really want to eat my weight in Cadbury Creme Eggs right now. Thank you sweet baby Jesus I don't have access to those puppies 24/7 because I'd be a helluva lot more jiggly than I am now.

8. I've got the first two layers on my garden!!! I'm so freaking excited to plant veggies this year it's ridiculous.

OK. If you're slightly confused about what I mean by 'layers', here's the deets:

I do a layered garden every year. It's actually called 'Lasagna Gardening' because you layer the garden like you do lasagna. Let me be clear, it's not planting tomatoes and noodles to make lasagna. Nope, that's not it. Basically, you layer your garden with different materials, such as manure, compost, peat moss, hay, grass clippings, saw dust, fire ash, leaves, and/or soil. If you layer in the fall, it all settles over winter and you have the fluffiest and most wonderful soil to plant in evah. If you layer in the spring, your plants will do a little happy dance with all the nutrients they get from each layer, and by the end of summer, it's settled and your roots love it long time.

I've gardened this way for about 6 or so years now, and I'm telling you, it's the ONLY way to go. I don't have to rototill.......AT ALL. And after the layers settle, the next year I'll just add another layer of compost and soil and I'm ready to go! And the most important, my veggies are TO DIE FOR! I always have lots of growth, they're always huge, and they taste amazing!

The first year you do it, it can get kind of expensive, because you want about 4-8 layers, 2 inches thick each layer. And to buy all those materials is cha-CHING badabing! This year I've been lucky enough to find a lot of my materials free.
~First layer, that I put right over the grass/soil in your yard, is newspaper. Wet newspaper actually. This helps keep the weeds to a minimum and it gives the bugs something to chew thru to get to the nutrients (which, the bugs end up doing the tilling for you by chewing and digging through all the layers).
~2nd layer is a horse manure/hay mixture. We actually have a horse ranch two miles down from our home and they happen to be parents of some friends of ours (Thanks Brandy for all your shit!!!!). They have buttloads (literally) of manure just sitting waiting to find a new home. We've been given permission to come over and load up with as much as we want.  I'm betting that if you have a horse ranch near you, if you spoke to the owners, they'd be willing to give you their shit for free. Who would have thought I'd get so excited about free shit. FREE SHIT FOR EVERYONE!
~3rd layer: Leaves. Just rake your yard. Easy Peezy. And the dried, crusty leaves are the best.
~4th layer: Compost. I usually have my own compost pile that I stock full of kitchen scraps, grass clippings, leaves, dirt, coffee grounds, etc. that I use for this layer. It takes about a year to get the compost broken down enough to put in your garden, and since I didn't start my compost pile until last August, I'm shit outta luck.  BUT, I happen to have a cattle rancher friend that has been putting his cow manure/hay/feed in a compost and turning it every few months for the last few years. So he has a HEAPING pile of compost that I can get for free!!!! I've hit the shit and compost lottery!!!!
~5th layer: Peat Moss. This stuff I buy at Home Depot. It's not that expensive. And I pretty much can't find it free, so I've got to purchase it.
~6th layer: Manure. Or grass clippings. Or compost. Or top soil. Since I have unlimited Manure, I'm using it.
~7th layer: Compost. Or any of the above. I'm going to use compost as my last layer since it's nice and crumbly, it'll be perfect for seed planting.

And that's it!!!! It's a lot of work at first, but by this time next year, the soil will be like butta. I'll add two layers, compost and manure next year before planting. And maybe soil too. And keep that up every year and your veggies will love you!

9. BTW, Baby Girl was hanging outside while I was doing yard work. She was just getting in a little yoga:
As my friend Lindsey said, 'Happy Baby Pose!'
Then 20 minutes later:
Too much yoga.
10. I text my mom the above picture and wrote, 'Only my child would fall asleep outside'. And she wrote back, "You mean only OUR children. Remember Michael.". I had completely forgot, but when my brother was little, he was notorious for falling asleep ANYWHERE. There was numerous times that he fell asleep on the sidewalk! Our daycare lady would call mom and be like, 'ummmm, Michael fell asleep on the the front sidewalk again, and I didn't want to move him, so I just put a blanket over him and went inside.' LOL! Wouldn't that be hilarious, if you were driving by and just saw this 3 year old passed out on the sidewalk?!?! Mind you, this was a VERY small town in BFE Iowa, and it was in the summer. It wasn't like on the corner of Shaddyville and Hookertown in the dead of winter. So, it was hilarious. At least it is to me. I'm sure now a days child services would be called. lol.

Anyways, that little random sleeper is graduating from some Military class for the Air Force. He's been gone for 6 weeks studying his butt off and he's coming home this weekend! I'm sure his wife is counting the minutes (more because he left her with a 11 year old, 3 year old, and a 6mo old, and not because she misses him. Oh, JK, she probably misses him. A little.)
Cheers y'all!!!

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Pulling of the Oil: UPDATE

OK, It's been almost 2 weeks since I've been swishing freaking coconut oil in my mouth every morning. I actually can't believe it's been that long. Weird.

Anyways. Since about the 2nd day, I've been melting it each morning and going to town, usually when I'm getting ready for work. MELTING IS THE KEY!! I don't think I could do it any other way. And truly it's just like swishing saliva in your mouth.

Another KEY is that I do it when I'm getting ready. Keeping busy kinda makes me forget I'm swishing.
Best is this scenario:
1. Wake up.
2. Slam the alarm clock across the room.
3. Roll outta bed and with one eye barely open, put a Tablespoon of oil in a dish and micro for 20 sec.
4. Insert oil in mouth.
5. Swish, swish, swishy-swish.
6. Zombie-walk into the bath and get in the shower
7. Spend a good 5 min under scalding water in order to be able to open both eyes like a normal person.
8. Get out of the shower, get dressed and comb hair.
9. Check the timer: 8-10 minutes to go.
10. Put on my face.
11. Blow-dry my hair
12. Check timer: 2 minutes to go.
13. Put on deodorant & perfume.
14. Put on shoes.
15. Check timer: 20 sec.
16. Spit. (In the trash)
17. Swish with warm water.
18. Brush teeth. AND DONE!

And that's it!

I've done it every day except for one day last weekend when I forgot.

So far, here's what I've noticed:

A. My teeth appear to be whiter. But nothing that's shockingly Ross-from-Friends-white. But I bet if I keep it up, they might continue to whiten.

B. I have about zero gingivitis and gum bleeding! For the last 15 years, no matter what I do, I've always gotten sore and bleeding gums, once a month (around mother nature's little present time). I've gone to the dentist and they've said that my gums are perfectly healthy. It's just weird. But the last 2 weeks I haven't had any sore gums! It's crazy. And awesome! The only thing I've done different is oil pulling, so that's gotta be the solution!

C. My skin appears to be clearer. I always have a little acne. Mainly because I can't keep my greasy hands off my face. But I have noticed that my face is clearer. I still have a few pimples here and there, but overall, it's better than what it was before I started oil pulling.  My face seems smoother too. Don't know if it's related to the oil or what. But it's definitely smoother.

D. ***MOST IMPORTANT*** (I know this is the real review you've been waiting for) So, I 'happened' to drink a little too much last Friday night (I swear it wasn't on purpose, it was strictly for the oil pulling experimentation) and woke up Sat with a barely-there-mosquito-sized hangover!!!! I mean, it wasn't completely nothing. I had a little headache and that's about it. I felt good, and even energetic. At least, much more than normal.  Now, this completely could be a fluke. But I'm going to be a believer and say that it's all in the oil pulling, baby!
DAY 14
I know the lighting is different, and you can't really tell a difference, but I thought I'd just post selfies for shits and giggles.
You're welcome.

All in all, I think there's major benefits to oil pulling, and since it doesn't really interfere with my life too much, I'm going to continue to do it.

Cheers to me!

Have a great day buttercups!