Thursday, March 28, 2013

Ten Things Thursday

Hello there cupcakes!!! Another round of randompantsness to brighten your day.

1.  This whole 'Google Reader dying' thing is freaking me out. I don't do well with unplanned change. Not well at all.

I tried to get started on another reader website, called Feedly, but I'm so confused. Like. Worldly confused. I went through yesterday and tried to unsubscribe to multiple blogs that haven't posted in like 2 years, and after all said and done, I was only following '1' blog. And all the posts that I haven't read yet, were marked as 'read'. WTF batman??!! Now today I have blogs that I unsubscribed from on there, but don't have others that I labeled 'favorites'. Why does this have to be so complicated? I don't need complicated.
Worst day ever.

Anyways, if y'all have any advice on a good Reader substitute, by all means, spew your opinion.....please!

2.  I'm tired. And cranky. And it's just going to get worse. Working overtime, having my blood pressure erupt like Mount Vesuvius every 2 minutes from 7am-5pm because men work people are fucking morons (have ya'll noticed that women at work are awesomesauce, like you rarely have problems with them and they actually know what common sense is and how use it!!!???), being homeless, worrying about packing up the endless shit I've accumulated the last 6 years, oh, and HAVING A BABY, is all a little too much.

It's no wonder I want donuts and Cadbury Eggs for all major meals.

For real.

3.  I need to trade lives with this fellow:

Clearly, he's had a rough week.

4.  You know what I want.....Sushi. For breakfast.
THAT is Baby Girl. All the way. Because I have ALWAYS been a traditional breakfast person. Cereal, eggs (which I can barely stand now-a-days), bacon, donuts. No fried chicken, no hamburgers, no Asian food, no left over buffalo wings. Just normal, everyday, traditional breakfast.

But now I want sushi.
And milk.
And maybe a pickle.

5.  Do the powers of CDO (OCD) become more prominent as you age??? Because I've noticed lately that I freak when things are not 'the way I want them'. Organization wise. Like the drawers on our dresser being left out. I always close them. Even if one is just a millimeter out more than the others. Bothers the shit outta me.

 Or, I've gotta have my milk in the same spot at work. On the door of the fridge. Second container from the end.

Or, I have to put my sweatshirt and keys in the same locker at the gym. OR I have to use the same treadmill at the gym.

But yet, my desk looks like this:

A total f*cking disaster.
All the time.
But I know where everything's at!!! Swear.

6.  Ok y'all. I got something really important to tell you.
Time to get real.

Y'all need to skip on over to Something Simple and buy an assload of homemade, natural soap.

This shit is the!!!!!

Do you see that?!?! Barley and Hops Beer SOAP?!?! Whaaaaaaa?????

I have been using the Lavender Sandalwood soap and it's amazing. Smells sooooo good. And it lathers like a gem. And my skin already feels so much better. It's quite something how completely natural products really feel different and better. I'll never go back to store bought. Ever.

Sarah, you have a lifetime customer outta me babycakes!!!

Well, your soaps are badass, and your handsome son is badass too.
Look what Cole (Sarah's son) sent with the soaps:

Wildcat Purple!!!!
And green, and white, and more purple.
It's perfect!!!
And I've worn it almost every day.
Thank you Cole!!! You're one special dude!

7.  I've decided to add some weights in with my walking as of late. I just feel like these batwings are getting flabbier and blabbier every damn day. And I figure I have about 20+ weeks left before I pop this girl out, so that's plenty of time to work on building some muscles.

And I know I really need to curb my 'need' for all the crapfood that I shove in my hole, and I'll be even more healthy, with better muscles. But it's just so hard. *insert whine here*
I mean, I'm pregnant.
I want crapfood.
Baby Girl demands crapfood.

I have a friend Chelsea that's been on this huge healthy lifestyle change and she's such a motivation to me. Well, lets be real people, I'm motivated, but not enough to put down that krispy kreme. But seriously. She spends 3 hours A DAY shopping for food, planning meals, working out, tending to a recent injury, etc. EVERY DAY! That's dedication y'all. I want to be just like her!!! And she's a size 6 right now! I don't know what size she was when she started this change, but I think she was probably around my size, an 8 or so. But seriously. She's all toned out and slimmed down. I really want to be that too. Well, after baby girl gets here.

I'm getting 'the itch' to be healthy again. Like really healthy.

I'm tired of being tired all the time.
And while I can't seem to stop the hand to mouth movements of truckloads of ice cream, I really think about stopping. That counts right?

Chelsea, you need to school me. Will you be my Yoda???

8. I am no longer able to look at Facebook or Pinterest on breaks at work. They have been blocked.
It's a sad day folks.
I have to resort to the tiny screen of my phone.
1st world problems.

9.  Thank the Lord.
There is a third Hemsworth brother......

I thought I'd only be able to handle 2 of those Aussie hunks, but I can deal with a third.
Fine by me.

10.  I need a nap. Like an all day nap.
And I think I shall get a good one this weekend when Puppy and Hubby are trudging through the mud and weeds at the farm doing boy things.
I will be curled up in bed.
Blissfully dreaming about Cadbury Eggs and donuts.


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Pregnancy WEEK 18 (Mar 18th – 24th)

Well, obviously y’all know by now that it’s a girl.
I was sooooo wrong. I was completely convinced there was a little dude growing in there.
But nope, we got a little cowgirl!!!
And ohhhhh, my, is she going to be spoiled. Yup. I’m calling it now.

So, this is how it went. We got to the sono place and I got all laid out and the sono tech went to work finding the little lady.
First the tech went through her entire body and took measurements. Starting at the head and working her way down to the feet. We got measurements and looked at everything. Including seeing how the heart had four chambers and how the kidneys were working. It was amazing. Just amazing.

But the whole time I’m like, ‘Tech Lady, freaking HURRY UP!!!’ I was dying to know if it was a boy or girl.

After what seemed like 16 hours, the tech finally made her way down to see about ‘the parts’.

And I quote, this is what she said, “Well, if it’s a little boy, that’s a sad little thing.”

I was all, ‘huh???’

She replied, “It’s a girl!!!”

And then Ryan said, “Are you sure there’s not a wiener in there????” Ohhh men.

I immediately had visions of pink dresses and bows and pigtails and baby dolls and more pink. It was awesome.

Ryan’s vision was more like pink camo rifle, pink camo hunting gear, a pink basketball, and a pink fishing pole.

This little one is going to be a handful though. I’m sure she’ll be similar to me and be a total tom boy, but still love to dress up.

And ohhhhhh, the sass. Little girl is sassy!! Already! (I have no idea where she gets that from.)

No matter what the tech did, she wouldn’t corporate. Surprise, surprise.
She kept wiggling this way, and turning her head that way.
Didn’t like the camera very much.
Well, I got news for you little girl…..your mama’s a photographer, so you better get used to the camera!!!

After it was all said and done. Ryan and I got to talking later that night and he said, “Ohhh I can’t wait to screw with her boyfriend’s… the rifle when they come home from a date, shooting stuff outside when he picks her up, ohhhh this is going to be so much fun!!”

This week there’s not much new going on with me. The belly’s getting bigger, I’m still holding steady on weight, but I’m eating like a freaking truck driver after a 12 week fast. So, I’m not worried about it. I really need to be eating better, but man all I want is bad, bad foodstuffs.

I remember when we were trying to get pregnant and I promised myself that I’d eat veggies and fruit and organic and lean protein, etc.
Now all I want is donuts, chocolate, chips, fried anything, etc. I don’t even want to touch salad. And I love salad. But for some reason, it just sounds horrible.
Oh well.

This week, baby girl is 8 ounces!!!! That’s what the tech said, anyways. So it’s not some book estimate or anything. She’s got 1 inch arms and about 1.25 inch legs. So, longer legs…..takes after her daddy.

She’s mastered the art of the yawn. Which we got to see on the sono pictures. And she’s moving around lots and lots. I can feel her almost every day. She’s twisting and rolling, and kicking and punching. Little girl is a busy bee in there!

Baby girl’s nervous system is maturing rapidly. Senses like touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing are all developing more and more every day. She can now hear sounds outside and inside the womb. Poor girl gets to hear my tummy rumble! Lol.

I talked to Ryan’s mom about what he was like as a newborn, and she informed me that he was just under 8lbs when born, but his length was 23 inches!!! The nurses didn’t even think that was right! I was about average. So I’m expecting some skinny little girl with a loooong body!

Oh, and my mom & her BF hardy came down to visit last weekend and we went to the local farm store. We initially went to find Hardy some new jeans and dress shirts. The farm store is like a mini walmart, before walmarts were even around. And it’s geared to country life. Like they have cattle feed, and live chicks for farms, then they have cowboy cloths and yard stuff. It’s a country thing, just trust me on this.

Anyway, we walk in and Hardy goes to the jeans and ‘somehow’ mom and I end up in the kid section. Shocker.
And they had 50% off baby cloths.
It’s like it was meant to be.
Mom dropped $100 on Baby Girl and my nephew.
I spent $10.
Here’s our finds (Sarah, show Cole all the John Deere stuff!!! I thought of him when we were buying it! I knew he'd love it!):
Carhartt diaper cover!! How cute is that?!?!

John Deere dress and tights.

Everything we bought centered around that cute coverall dress. Seriously. We saw it, it was $10, then we needed unlimited onesies and tights to wear with it.

Those pink tights have ruffles on the butt. *heart*

Then I found these online. Couldn’t resist. 
 Now I just can't wait for her to get here so we can play dress up every day!!!!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

One......really important.....Thing Thursday. Well, maybe more than one. But the first one is the most important. Longest title ever.

That's right!!!


And apparently she's a sassy one. The tech had a terrible time getting her in the right positions for the sono. 
I'm so surprised at this.
I mean....I am her mother.
And there's not a sassy bone in my body.

Anyways. Here's the sono pics!!!!

Her little face!

Open hand pushing up on the uterus! So cute!

Kind of a profile picture. Not the best. Again, she was being sassy.
There was also a video of her moving around, but I can't find it on the CD. Damn it. So I gotta call the sono tech today and see if I can get a copy.

Now we just gotta figure out a name!!!

OH, and one more semi-important thing happened yesterday too...........

We sold our house.


Tomorrow I'll be updating this blog via the mental ward. Because I'm on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Fo' realz.

Yup, the VERY FIRST person that looked at it yesterday put in an offer. It's been on the market a whopping 10 days. Anyways, we countered. She came back with basically something that was too good to pass up, so we accepted.

Holy Fucking Shit.

We're having a baby GIRL, and we're homeless as of May 10th.

Again.....Holy Fucking Shit.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

I'm a good mama.

Yesterday, everyone was outside running in their pretty matchy-matchy exercise outfits.....

And Baby Ida was all.....


So, being the good mama that I am, I did.

Monday, March 18, 2013

This is going to be a long 6 months.


It happened.


Last weekend I experienced another 'pregnancy symptom'.

And it's not a good one people.

The last 18 weeks I've been all.....'This will never happen to me! I can control myself!'



All lies.

I can't believe I'm putting this out there.
Oh, wait. Yes I can.
Because I have no shame.

And it happened not once......BUT TWICE!!


Are you ready for this????




I sneezed and peed, people.
Sneezed and peed.

I die.

Stop laughing.

I read all those pregnancy books, and the chicks were like, 'Yup, it happens. You end up peeing your pants when your pregnant because your muscles are 'loose' or something down there.'

I have to admit it now (for the first time in my life. Seriously. Stop laughing.)........
I'm loose.
I've got loose girly parts.
And I peed my pants.

See, it went like this, I woke up Sat. morning and had a full bladder. Nothin' new. But I have also been sneezing up a storm lately. Don't know if I'm getting sick or my body has spontaneously decided to have allergies. Anyways. I get up, head to the potty, and AAAACHHHOOOOO.

Oh shit.
I mean....piss.

Yup. That happened.

But I chalked it up to having an already full bladder.
I mean, that happens. Right?!?!!??

So I went about my day of doing nothing.

Then it happened again.

Only this time my bladder wasn't full.
I didn't even know I had to pee!
I just sneezed.......and peed.

I'm going to have to start wearing granny panties.
And by 'granny panties', I mean Depends.


Friday, March 15, 2013

Pregnancy - WEEK 17 (Mar 11th – 17th)

You know, every week I’m like, “Holy butt monkeys! I can’t believe its blah blah weeks already!”

But it’s true! With only 23 more weeks to go, I’m damn near half way through this craziness! That just blows my mind.

You know what else blows my mind….Cake Batter Frozen Yogurt with sprinkles and butterfingers on top. Best.Shit.Ever. However, a friend told me about some Sea Salt Caramel Pretzel Frozen Yogurt…………..


It’s all I’ve been thinking about for 2 weeks. But the damn store is clear on the other side of town and I have zero time to run over there just for a bowl of deliciousness.

The reason I’m telling you all this, is the baby really likes salty and sweet things right now. Not so much chocolate, but ice cream. And milk. Well, and Sour Patch Kids. But I don’t think that’s all the baby. But those sweet cravings are rare. What I really want is salty stuff all the time. Like chips and ramen noodles and French fries. OH, and Italian food. Anything with pizza sauce, cheese, and pepperoni. Basically I want to up-end a salt shaker right in my pie hole then wash it down with an extra large Chicago style double pepperoni calzone. All.Day.Long.

Does wonders for the water weight situation.
Well, the weight situation in general.

But despite all my cravings and eating crap food about ½ the time, this week my weight has been pretty steady at 162. So, up a few lbs from last week. But I think that’s probably a good thing. ;-)

I just don’t want to end up one of those HUGE pregnant women that have a terrible time in the end because they basically can’t move at all. And they have diabetes. And they have shortness of breath. And all that bullshit. I want to be energetic and run around. Well. Let’s be real. Maybe not run around. More like waddle around. So that’s why I’m being a little self conscience about my weight. I always thought I’d be one of those pregnant women who’s all ‘BALLS TO THE WALL ON THE COCOA PUFFS AND CHEESE BALLS!!! WOO HOO!!!’. But really, I’m not. I have my ‘treats’. But I have my veggies and fruits too.

Moving on.

I’m really trying to get in some exercise at least 3 days a week. It just gives me so much more energy and I really think I’m sleeping better because of it. I really want to do something every day. But it’s been a bit of a time crunch with working OT. Blasted people giving me shit to do all day at work!!! What do they think I am??? Productive or something??? Gahhhh.

Ohhhhh BIG news this week!!! I finally DID, fo’ sizzle my nizzle, feel the baby move!!! It is so hard to describe the awesomeness!! 
Truly, it feels like gas. Like I got a big ol’ toot just a’waitin’ to grace everyone with its presence. I know. I’m so lady like. It’s kind of like butterflies in your tummy, but bubbles too. But I know it’s the baby (and not a toot) because it’s clear up on the right side, and that’s where he/she was last week when we heard the heartbeat.

On, I think it was Tuesday, this last week, I’d eat something then the baby would do a disco in my belly. It was so weird! But amazing at the same time! And it went on all day! It was incredible.

Now I just can’t wait until Ryan can feel it! There’s a girl at work that was like, “oh wait till your belly starts moving all around and all you think about is the movie Alien.” Ahhhhh, I can’t wait for alien baby belly!!!!!

Ok. Enough about me. Moving onto the baby!!

This week, Little Ida Wik is about 5 inches long…..the size of a beer can!!!! Lol. Well, the ‘book’ says the size of your open palm. But I think beer can is more….appropriate. Baby also weighs somewhere around 3.5 ounces. Body fat is starting to form…..on the baby….well, maybe mama too…..and by the time the little person is born, its body fat will make up 2/3 of its weight!

Baby is for sure listening now. (Sorry Little Ida about the crap music your father plays in his pick-up. We all know you much prefer your mama’s excellent taste in music.) And I’m pretty sure baby heard its first gun shots last weekend when we took our Conceal & Carry class. Startin’ ‘em young!

Baby’s eyes are making small side-to-side movements and can even perceive some light. And its fingertips and toes will become adorned with completely individual fingerprints this week!! Little Ida is one of a kind……for real!!!!

It’s so a boy. I just know it!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Ten Things Thursday

Hello my lovelies!!!
Good week so far????

1.  I took a Breathalyzer yesterday.


That's how I roll with this whole pregnancy thing.

No, really I was lucky enough to get picked to complete a random drug/alcohol screening at work.

Passed that sum'bitch.
Like a boss.

I gotta tell you though, doing a Breathalyzer while you're stone sober is COMPLETELY different than trying to do one shitface wasted.

Last time, I couldn't blow hard enough, then I blew too hard, then the damn thing fell outta my mouth, and then the bubbles distracted me and I forgot to breathe at all. It seemed like it took an eternity!!!

This one, I blew, heard a pop, stopped blowing. Easy peezy lemon squeezy.

I know. Random huh?

2. So I was bored the other day and did a google search for funny onesies:

 There was a TON I could totally see myself buying, but then my checkbook would give me a big frowny face and that's no bueno.

But I think a few of these will have to get purchased. ;-)

3.  I'm getting my 2nd prenatal massage tonight. Ahhhhhhhhhhh, bliss. BLISS I TELL  YOU!
75 minutes of pure re.lax.ation.

I was supposed to get it last night, but the damn masseuse had to cancel due to illness. Mama was not a happy camper. But they're giving me 10% off. So, that helps. I guess.

BTW, I don't give 2 midget shits if going for a massage once a month till this nugget is born is going to break the bank or not. It's going to happen anyway. I will sell a kidney to keep this going. (But not my liver. Because I'm going to be needing that.)
Mark my words.........Ryan. ;-)

4.  My mom got me some SUPER cute maternity clothes for my birthday!!!

Cute purple and grey sweater that ties above the belly.

Stretchy, perfect for when I'm bigger. And, bonus, the sleeves will hide the batwings!!

Cargo pants that you can roll down if you want.
And here's another one:
Aren't they just the cutest?!?!
I'm so excited!

5. Two weekends ago I got to take the cutest pictures of my friend's newborn. I just love newborn photos!! They're so small and cuddly. And they don't plaster on a fake smile, or bitch about smiling too much. Like, they're perfect little subjects!
Let me introduce you to 2 week old Luke Matthew:

Big Sis Holly. Adorable!!!

6. My mom's BF, Hardy, just sent me this email about my mom.
**WARNING**Don't drink anything when reading this. Because you will spew it all over your monitor.

the other evening your mother walks by me with the binoculars  ......i said what cha doin babe  ( Oh I'm going to see if the turkeys are out in the field across the road!).....a few minutes later  I said  well Babe are they out there ?  she said oh my god there's one really big one I said let me see, so I grab the binoculars from her, put them up to my eyes, and they were not focused right.   so I dialed them in and as the (Big One) came into view  I said,  Yeah he's a big one alright..............  he's a big mail box ........your mother had been zeroing in on her mailbox

God, I love her.
She's definitely one of a kind.

This was Ryan's comment about the email:

At least we know the big one is not going anywhere and I should have no trouble getting him during turkey season.

True, so true.

7.  I went to the gym last night to do a little walking. It was the first time this week, because I've been busy. Man it felt good!!!

Ryan makes fun of me tho.
He says he's never seen anyone at the gym with as many electronics as me.

I have the TV on, my Kindle, my MP3, and my phone.
What's wrong with that????
I get bored and need multiple stimulation.
And I like to multitask.

You know what else I can do at the gym????

Take secret pictures of my husband working out.
That aren't so secret because he caught me.

THAT is the best picture of me. Ever.

8.  We're going to The Ranch this weekend.
Here's the weather:

I foresee two days of curled up on the leather couch, in front of the fire, with a good book.....or three.....for me.
The hubby and puppy can hike their little hearts content in that frigidness. Not this mama.

9. Last weekend was Fake Patty's Day in Aggieville (the bar district in my college town). The real St. Patty's Day always falls on spring break, so they move it up a week so all the college kids can drink green beer from 8am to 2am until they hurl.

Well, my 21 year old employee decided to go up and join the fun this year. For the first time.
My first reaction: I am so freaking glad I don't have to deal with those drunk people any more.
My second reaction (to the first reaction): Shitballs, I'm old.
Third reaction: Tell him every terrible Fake Patty's Day story that I can 'remember'. Probably not the best idea.

One story (this is pre-Ryan, btw), my friend Mandy had this genius idea that we needed to run the 5K race at noon. At this point in my life, age 23ish, I didn't run. At all. Unless it was to the liquor store. And Fake Patty's Day starts at like the ass crack of dawn. So by noon, I had already chugged about 3 green big beers (yes, they put food coloring in the beer, it's awesome).

So, lets sum this up: I don't run, I've got 4 gallons of beer in my belly, I haven't eaten since the day before (booze is plenty nutritional), and I most likely can't walk a straight line to save my life.

Good deal.

Well, noon rolls around and we're all drinkin' it up in this bar called Rusty's (that has the biggest big beers). And all the sudden we hear a gun shot go off. Like, a gun shot that might signal a race starting..........SHIT!
We weren't even outside at the starting line! We were still chugging!! DOUBLE SHITS! So we grab our beers, start gulping down the rest of the beer as fast as we can (because you can't leave a full beer, no matter if you're getting ready to run 3 miles or not), and sprint through the bar, and out into the street. Pitching our (now empty) beers in the trash, and off we go.

We're the only ones running in the street at this point.
Everyone else in the race (like hundreds of people) had already left.

So here's two drunk chicks, trying to run a 5K, weaving down the road, at noon on a Saturday.
Good times people, good times.

We did make it, btw.
I may or may not have laid down on the sidewalk half way through, convinced my heart was blowing up. And had to be forced up by EMTs threatening to take me to the ER. Rude.
We cheated and caught up with the 1.5K walkers and finished with them.
Then we went back to the bar and ordered more beer.
And partied the rest of the day is sweat soaked running clothes.

My awesomeness is beyond outstanding.

10. I need this (I don't know the sex yet, but we can change it if needed, when we find week!!!):

That's all for now folks!!!!