Just another day being a Mommy.

Well.
I think I've crossed over the threshold of ditzy motherhood like a human canon ball out of a canon.

Picture this:

Dillyn only woke up twice last night.

Feeling like a million sparkly dollars (but really, only slightly less zombie-like), I got up before she did, jumped in the shower and even ate some cereal, all before she woke up.

We had a vet appointment this morning so I was kinda pushing time. I decided to wake her up, feed her, and try and get her back to sleep before we left.
I had 27 minutes.
Let the countdown begin.

Changed her diaper. 23 minutes left.

Started to feed her. 20 minutes left.

Little Kaboom (nickname because of her exceptional pooping skills) had an explosion while feeling. Diaper change #2. 10 minutes left.

Still hungry. Feed #2. 8 minutes left.

Finally, she's happy, sleepy, and in her carseat.

Rush to put the carrier in the car, after Grandma struggled with it for 2 minutes. Nearly tackled Grandma to get the damn thing in there faster. Wrestled the dog into the back of the Jeep. Forgot his leash. Tripped up the steps to the house to find the leash. Got it.

It's go time.

-3 minutes left.

Fly down the gravel road to the Vet, miss the turn, had to pull two U-ies on the busy highway to get back to the Vet. Finally get parked and we're 10 minutes late.
I call this a win!!

So where's the ditzy part????

I walk into the vet, check in the dog, sit down, Grandma's holding the carrier like it's a fragile piece of glass and won't sit it on the floor, and I look down and my right tata is definitely more 'pointy' than my left.....Ummmmmmm, that's weird.
Look inside my shirt...... I forgot to button up my bra from feeding 20 minutes ago. My right tata has been just swinging in the breeze.

Awesome.

Now, I can't let go of the dog because he'll go ape shit and climb the walls trying to get pets from the receptionist. Grandma won't let go of the baby. So, I decided to one wing it through the entire appointment. BTW, this is a new Vet. Never met him before.

Super.

This motherhood thing is fitting perfectly for me I think.
Yup. Perfectly.

I think I'm on Stage 3. We have a long way to go.

You have to read THIS!

If you're a parent, you will completely die. I'm a new parent and I was laughing so hard I was crying, because it's so true!!

Thank you Emily for posting this on my FB!!!

Look what I made....

Well, with Ryan's help of course. ;-)

Let me introduce to you Dillyn Marie Wiksten.
Born 8/19/13 at 4:35pm, weighing in at a slim 7lbs 3oz, and 20 inches long.

She is the most precious, amazing gift I have ever seen! I love her so much!

Basically, contractions started Sun morning at 2am, but they weren't bad, so we waiting until I was more sure that I was in labor. Some time Sun evening, around 5-ish, I 'thought' that my water broke, and contractions were 5 min apart, so we headed to the hospital. Well, long story short, my water didn't break. So they sent us home. We got home at about 10, I changed clothes, Ryan got a beer and I laid down. Sure as shit, then my REAL water broke. So much for one more nights good sleep!

The contractions got significantly worse. And by 11pm I couldn't take it and we went to the hospital. They admitted us, and we started the whole labor thang.

Again, long story short, I made it to 5am Monday before I got the epidural, then ended up starting pitocin......well sometime. I don't quite remember.....epidural, remember. OH, wait, first they tried to get me to dilate more by trying some balloon thing. I won't get into detail. You're welcome. THEN they started pitocin. That went on forever. The balloon made me a 4, but after that, it was hours before I changed again. We were coming up on the '18 hour' mark, and there was meconium in my water (meaning baby had a bowel movement in my tummy), and they, the Drs, really want to get the baby out before the 18 hour mark. Crunch Time.

Then, as if Dillyn decided enough was enough, the Dr came in and was like, 'Holy Shit, your a 10!!!' Well, thank you Doc. Thank you very much.

I started pushing, and 29 minutes later, our little bundle of joy entered the world!

Everything went perfect. No complications or anything. And by Tuesday evening we were back at home.

Wyatt has definitely taken on the roll of 'big brother'. Any time she cries, he's right there. In the middle of the night he keeps Dillyn and I company while she feeds. He gives her soft little kisses, and I KNOW loves her as much as we do!

Daddy and Dillyn on a walk.

There is nothing better than being a mom!!!

Pregnancy - WEEK 39 (Aug 11th – Aug 18th)

Technically I’m 39 weeks and 5 days. So, almost 40 weeks.

Almost 40 weeks…..wow. D-Day is approaching at lightning speed!!!

I went to the Dr on Wednesday, not much has changed from last week. She has moved down a little. My pelvic station is a -2 (it goes -3, -2, -1, 0, +1, +2, +3-----> Baby’s out), last week it was at -3, so that’s progress. I’m also 75% effaced. Which means that my cervix is stretched to about 75%. 100% is where you want to be.  Still no dilation. But that’s ok. There have been numerous people that say you can go from zilch to a 5 overnight. And my SIL’s sister said that she didn’t even dilate until her little girl was basically born. So that’s comforting.

It’s just frustrating to not see much change. I was really hoping for some sort of dilation. Like, even a 1!!! I’ll take anything!!!! But at least she’s continuing to move down. If she would have stayed at a -3, I’d be even more pissed….and worried.

We did talk to the Dr about induction, a little. Basically, he’s for letting things happen naturally, which I am too. I’d MUCH rather her come on her own than try to force it. I mean, I want her to get here, but at the same time, once you start drugs for induction, then there’s drugs for something else, then more and more drugs, and I’m just not for all that medication. I may be cray-cray, but I want to try to do this as natural as possible.

That being said, I definitely don’t want to wait 3 weeks like my mom, and then induce. Cripes that’s a long ass time to be pregnant. (Totally worth it, huh Mom?!)

Oh, speaking of my Mom, I called her last night to tell her that Baby D isn’t on her way yet, and this is her reply, “Well, she’ll come when she wants to. She’ll tell you when she’s ready. Then she’ll spend the rest of your life telling you how things are going to be done.”

Ummmmmm, if that’s a reference to me, that’s totally rude Mother. I’m an Angel, always have been, always will be. I don’t recall any times when I would have told you ‘how it’s going to be’, especially in my teen years. Nope. Don’t recall that at all.

Moving on.

Dr also said that 85% of women give birth either the week before their due date, or the week after. I’m not even to the week after yet, so I’ve still got a ways to go.

The plan for now is we’re not going to really force the issue until we see how things have progressed (or not progressed) next week. If next week rolls around, I’m still not dilated and she still hasn’t moved, then we’ll talk about possibly inducing.  Until then, I’m going to try everything in my power to get her down further. I’m sitting on one of those exercise balls, I’m going to start walking around our ‘block’ in the afternoons, I’m getting a massage next week and going to ask her to ‘work her magic’ at trying to get my body more prepared, and I’m also considering acupuncture.   I’ve read lots of articles, and they say that it can work at helping the body go into labor. It’s worth a shot, eh?

I’d just like to try every natural way as possible, before we use the drugs. Even though none of them will probably work, it’s still worth a try. And I know she’ll get here when she gets here, but I’m kinda being selfish and I really don’t want to have her on Labor Day weekend. I mean, that’ll screw her for birthdays for the rest of her life. She’ll always be competing with a holiday. And that’s no fun!

So, unless something happens this weekend (which I’m planning on doing some yard work, so you never know!), we’re planning on going another week, at least, before we get to meet her. I know, I know, the waiting is killing me too!!!

OK, as far as baby girl goes, not much has changed since last week. She’s probably only gained a small amount of weight, and possibly added a smidgen amount in the height department. Biggest change this week is that her skin has changed from pink to white, that’s because a thicker fat layer has been deposited over the blood vessels. She’s a regular kicker around 9pm and that lasts sometimes till midnight or beyond. Other than that, she’s pretty quiet during the day. I still don’t think she realizes that she’s got limited space in there, because every once in a while, she decides to try and stretch out sideways. I swear her ass was in the very far back of my right rib cage, and her feet were way over on the left side. Almost in my back! Crazy kid!

I’m still feeling pretty good. I’m uncomfortable, almost all the time. And besides getting up 25 times to pee a night, I have been getting some good rest. I don’t know if that’s because I kicked Ryan’s sick ass out of bed the last 3 nights, or if I’ve finally just figured out how to ‘lay’ and fall asleep. Who knows. My feet are still huge, and last night they were aching something fierce. My fingers are numb constantly now. And I can mow down a package of Oreos in record time. No more craving ice cream, we’ve moved onto Oreos, powdered donuts, oatmeal, and pudding. StrangeCity.

OK my little peeps, 2 days to go. And then I’ll be ‘over’due!!!!!

Everyone start doing a Labor Dance for baby girl to get here!!!! (You know, it’s like a Rain Dance, but much more involved. Shake that ASS! If you by chance happen to video yourselves, please email me, I need a good laugh! Lol)

Ten Things Thursday!!!

HELLOOOOOO MY PEEPS!!!!
Miss me?
I miss you.
It's been 2 whole days since I've blogged! Blimey.

1.  I got a new phone. Finally. The old 'brick' (as friends affectionately called it) finally got traded up for a sleek, futuristic, snazzy phone. I got a Samsung Galaxy 3. I like it. It's all fancypants. And it's skinny. At least something I own is skinny now. Lord knows these maternity jeans aren't. And to top it all off, I got 3....count them THREE, blinged out cases for it! Well, one's blingy, but the others are just fun.

#1. Purple Rhinestone Shinyass Chrome case. Love it!

#2, the above purple and this photo are the same case, it's like a mini-purse!!! How badass is that!

#3. And then of course the sport band one. Because someday I WILL work out again.

Notice they're all purple.
I'm sure y'all are shocked by this.

So if you call me and I hang up on you, I mean no bad ju-ju, it's just that I can't figure this high-tech shit out.

2.  Puppy has found a new favorite pastime:

See the hummingbird feeder and the other bird feeder out the glass door????
Well, there's about 50 kazillion sparrows that invade that bird feeder throughout the day, and Puppy thinks they're out there solely to taunt him. He sits and stares at them most evenings. Every once in a while he'll jump up and start barking at them. Poor little doggy.

Oh, and last night, you can't see it in the picture, but there's a window to the left, and he was just staring out it. He had to kinda look up to 'see out', but he just kept staring! Ryan and I couldn't figure out what the heck he was looking at until we noticed at the top of the screen was a huge grasshopper!!! He was crawling all over the screen! And Wyatt just couldn't figure out why he couldn't 'get it'!  It was so hilarious!

His life inside is so tortured.

3.  For 2 days now, I've actually tried to do some real artwork while in the office, and both times my computer had refused. I open a file and it locks up and I have to force it to shut down.
I think this is a sign.

4.  OhhhhEEEmmmmmmmGEEEEEEEE, Duck Dynasty premiered last night!!!! Holy camo butts I love that show. And Miss Kay and Phil got 'remarried', it was so sweet.

I looked and Ryan and asked, "Do you think we'll be married for 48 years?"

He paused and looked up at the ceiling.

Then I said, "Without killing each other, I mean?"

He then replied, "Nope. No way."

I agree.

Cheers to being married for less than 48 years before one of puts the other one in an early grave!!

5.  OH, and you know what else comes on next week?!?!

Sweet Baby Jesus, some genius over on the History channel finally gave that man his own show!!!!
Thank you LAWD!

So, my Tuesdays and Wednesdays are booked.

Do you also watch such quality television????
Or is it just me?

6. OK, this is a question for the Ladies. Gents, you might as well, just move on to #7.

Girls: Every once in a while, whenever I bend over, or even stand up too fast, my left tata gets a huge stabbing pain in it. Like nothing I've ever felt before. It hurts so bad it almost takes my breath away. But it will subside in about 10 seconds and things are normal again.

Is this my milk coming in???? I tried to research it online, but 'Stabbing Pain in Left Booby' didn't get me very far.

And it's only the left. Not the right. And it's really sporadic too.

God I hope this a pregnancy thing. And will go away in time! lol. I can't believe I put this shit out there. Oh well.

7.  My Grandma is coming up this week!!!!

Obviously this is 4 years ago, but that's my cute Grandma. Photo: www.jcimaging.com

I'm so excited, I haven't seen her in forever! Well, since last year I think. She lives in AZ at an assisted living center. So unless I fly down there (which has only happened once) or one of my Aunts brings her back to KS, I rarely get to see her or talk to her. And she's such the sweetest little thang ever!!!

I just wish Baby Girl was here to meet her Great Grandma! But oh well. They'll be another time!!!

8. Puppy and I just got back from a neighborhood 'trying to start labor' walk.

.9 Miles of pure 9 months pregnant bliss.

But seriously. It was nice to get out.
The only shoes that fit me where my lake sandals, but what can you do.

In case you were wondering, Wyatt went after 37 grasshoppers. Just kidding, I stopped counting after 5.

9.  I need this. Beth Ann, you need this too!

10.  OK. I'm going to eat some pudding, take a nap, and see if my feet will reduce to a semi-appropriate  size (vs the engorged flubber feet that they are now).

It's Tuesday......

Woop.
Woop.

I was just up at our front office, and this guy (who doesn't really work here, but hangs out sometimes, it's a long story), came up to me and was like, "Well, I couldn't see your belly earlier and I just saw you face, and I was like 'DANG, she's put on some weight!'"

Ummmm, Fuck You Very Much, Douchecanoe. You can now take your wonderful comments and jump off a cliff.....into an alligator infested lava pit......to die a slow and aggonizing death....... and the last thing you hear is the Beibs' 'music'.

Granted, he didn't know I was pregnant, but still. Really, Buttface?! Really?

So that's a good start to the day.
Especially when I think my face looks like the an elephant ass stuffed in a sandwich sized ziplock baggie. But what can you do.

In other good news, my husband has been doing a lot of this lately:

Yes.
Playing in the dirt with toys.
He's such a happy camper.
And such a boy.

At first, we were just going to work on our front yard. Ripping out these terrible bushes and retaining wall, then just smooth it out.

Then, he decided that wasn't good enough, so he moved to the back yard and started making berms and hills and stuff for future gardens.

And since 2 days of sunshine doesn't even come close to drying out 37 straight days of freak July/August rain showers, the ground was a smidge muddy. And by smidge I mean, I'm surprised he didn't sink to China in his little toy.
Did you know 'smidge' isn't a word? Well, isn't one recognized by blogger spell check. It says it's supposed to be 'smidgen'. I don't wanna use 'smidgen'. I wanna use 'smidge'. And so I shall. Neener Neener.

Needless to say, Wyatt thinks we did all this for him and loves every muddy mess of it. 4.66 acres left of grassy fields, and he still walks right through the muddiest part of the yard. AFTER, I gave him a bath last weekend also.
Typical.

I'm going to get a burrito the size of my elephant ass face and mow that down for lunch.
Then I'm going to check on my sick husband. (Oh yes, someone worked too hard these last few weeks and made himself sick.....5 days before I'm due. Super excited about that, let me tell ya.)
And finally I'm going to nap away the day.

Cheers to Tuesday's folks.
It can only get better from here.

Oh! And CHEERS to my teacher friends that started school today!!!! Lindsey and Chelsea (and every other teacher out there!! I know I'm missing a few!): I hope your first day is filled with well behaved, eager young minds and appreciative, thoughtful parents! (BAhahahahaha, like that EVER happens.)

Pregnancy - WEEK 38 (Aug 4th – Aug 10th)

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Breathe! Breathe!

2 weeks. 2 weeks TO GO.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

I’m not going to lie, I’m starting to get a little nervous. I mean, it will no longer be just Ryan and I (and puppy, of course)……we’re having a person! A human being will be shooting outta my hoo-ha in 2 weeks-ish! There will be 3 of us! (well, 4, again, Puppy)

We will have to care for, feed, bathe, change diapers, feed, and again change diapers for another person! Shit’s gettin’ real. Literally.

I’m so excited, don’t get me wrong. I can’t wait to see her little face and find out all her quirks! But at the same time……whoa. 
Another. Human. Being. 
It’s a teeny bit, slightly, hyperventilating, drop a load in my maternity pants kind of scary. But it’ll be ok. We will be ok.

Let’s see, what’s been going on with me this week. Well, went to the Dr on Tuesday and there was no change in my ‘labor state’. Basically she’s at a -3 (highest she can be in the vajayjay), and zilch for dilation. Super. She’s never coming out. That’s what we’ve determined. Here she was, this whole pregnancy, growing, growing, HUGE, and now we’re at a stand-still. No change. I detect a little stubbornness.

I have felt a few contractions. And when I say few, I truly mean like 3. They are rare and sporadic. And only last about 10 seconds. I know women that have contractions starting at 32 weeks! And here I am at 38, all La-Te-Da, I live in Carebear Land with a watermelon in my tummy that never wants to come out. So, either I’m having them and I don’t know it, or I’m just not having them at all. I don’t know which is worse.

As far as other things, I just feel like there’s no room in my mid-section for anything. I can’t bend over, or slouch, otherwise it’s pain. My hands and feet are still swollen. And I still have the wonderful Carpal Tunnel. Bliss, I tell ya. I am blissful.

OH, a new thing Baby D’s been doing is ‘waking’ up at 9:30 at night and proceeding to practice her soccer kicks on my ribs till midnight. It’s lovely. About 4 nights a week, I’m just unable to get comfortable enough to sleep, and with her going all Beckham-style in there, I just end up going out on the couch and watching TV till I get so exhausted I almost fall asleep sitting up. Then I go back to bed, sleep for 4 hours, get up and go to work. Rinse and repeat. Needless to say that’s why I’ve been crankypantsMcGee lately.

Let’s move on to Miss D.

She’s been shedding her vernix & lanugo (hairs to keep her warm) into the amniotic fluid. She’s also been swallowing some of that fluid…..gross, but what can she do. Her lungs keep growing and maturing, as more and more surfactant is secreted (it helps prevent the lungs from sticking to each other when she begins to breathe). The longer she stays in there, the better it is for her brain too! They say the last few weeks are super important for brain growth. So I guess she can camp out if she wants too. But not for too much longer!!!

Technically this is the end of week 38, so I only have 8 days left until my due date. 8 DAYS!!! We’re in the single digits people!!!

Ten Things Thursday!!!

1. What's up y'all? Wanna know what's up with me????? Freaking 10 days till my due date. 10 DAYS! No big deal. Just going to have a human come out my hoo-ha in 10 FREAKING DAYS-ish. Or longer than 10 days the way things are going, but whatevs. Shit's getting real, folks.

2.  I'm cranking today. No sleep last night, plus a watermelon in my tummy that doesn't stop pressing on my ribs makes for a stellar appearance of SuperBitch. It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's the Mrs. SuperBitchPants!!! Here to make your life miserable with her death stares and snide comments!!

3.  Wait......

That sounds about right.

4.  Hey, remember the other day when I talked about getting back into the healthy thang??? And I think I can safely blame the preggy brain for thinking I can jump right outta the shoot and start an exercise program. THANK YOU to everyone that commented/emailed/messaged me about different tips. I don't know what I was thinking. But y'all put my world right.

Yes, I should DEFINITELY wait for Dr's approval before starting anything, but that doesn't mean I can't eat better than I am now (baring that baby Girl likes what I eat, of course).

But the plan is for now, to enjoy our new little addition, try to eat as well as I can, and wait after the 6 week mark to start any exercise program. Then that program is going to start slow with walking. No 1/2 marathons for this girl this year. But maybe next year!!! (Ohhh, did I just set a goal?!?! Oops.)

5.  I'm thinking about making a cute little basket with goodies for the nurses when we deliver. That way I can put our 'birth plan' in there, but they have snacks and lotion and stuff that's fun. (BTW, the 'birth plan' consists of getting this kid out. Fast.) What do y'all think??? Any nurses out there that like this idea? And anyone have suggestions as to what to put in the basket? Spank ya.

6.  I need this today!

Seriously, if one more person asks me 'How ya doin', Mama?' I'm going to high five them in the face, with my stainless steel water jug. I mean, how do you think I'm doing? I've been pregnant for 270 days. My ankles resemble stuffed sausages, my bladder's the size of a pistachio, and I don't remember what sleeping through an entire night even feels like!!! I feel fantastic. How are you?

Clearly, I'm still SuperBitchPants.

I mean, I appreciate people asking and I don't usually give them a bitchy answer, but jeez. It gets old, ya know?! Especially when I get asked every day by the same people. Have I had the baby yet? Nope. So I still feel the same way I did yesterday. Fuck you very much.

And I'm not talking about my good friends. I enjoy when they ask how I am, no matter how terrible I feel. It's just the people that keep asking, over and over, every freaking day. Grrrr.

I need a nap, I think.

7. OK. Sorry. I try to be all happy happy happy, but sometimes it's hard, ya know? I am happy to be pregnant, and I can't wait to meet her, but I'm just so tired. I really need to learn how to deal with the tiredness, because I know it's not going to get any better for the next, I don't know, 18 years. I can't walk around like a Bitchtastic Zombie all the time. I would have no friends. And my co-workers would probably hang me. New mission: Find ways to not be cranky when I'm exhausted. Anyone got any tips on that????

8.  Have I showed you lately what Puppy's been up too? No? Well, take a gander:

Apparently hunting grasshoppers these last few weeks is exhausting.

9. You know one thing that I'm down on my knees praising the Baby Jesus for right now??? Not walking around in temperatures that equal Satan's outhouse! I can't believe how wonderful it's been this month! I mean, it's August! Normally it would feel like walking behind a fighter jet getting ready to take off. Hot, humid, and windy. Bleh. But lately, it's been raining every other day! Temps haven't gotten above 100 in a month. And lows have gotten below 70! Praise you Mother Nature.....praise you! For taking it easy on a 8.75 month pregnant lady.

See, I'm trying to get in a better mood. Think positive thoughts, LB, positive thoughts.

10.  Happy Thursday y'all!!!! 38 week update tomorrow!!!

And I can finally have this baby.....

Because the Nursery is DONE!!!!!

Do you think she has enough clothes????!!!!!

Pintrest Project #297........COMPLETE!

(BTW, I don't think the other 296 projects ever got complete....or started for that matter. Go getter right here.)

Little Birdy Mobile:

First off, yes, that is a 'D' above her crib. *Gasp* her name starts with a D. You've got 2 weeks-ish to start guessing. GO!

2nd, I decided  a little 'project' while sitting on my pooper these half days was needed. So, I saw THIS pin on Pintrest and became intrigued. However, I wanted to do it a little different; I used wreaths & multiple layers of birds instead.

The birds took the longest because I had to hand sew all of them and when your fingers are numb half the day, it makes it pretty shitastic. But I prevailed!!!

Then to get the birds to stay on the wreaths was another challenge. But I have to give major props to my hubby because he was the ultimate genius and said, "Why don't you just hot glue them?"

So simple. Yet so life changing.

I mean, who doesn't like to use the hot glue gun?!?! It's like a little pistol shaped magic ejector! Whoa. That sounds dirty.

Moving on.

I don't care if Baby D likes it or not, I had fun making it and I think it looks fan-tab-ulous!!!!!