First torture of the year. Mastered.

So, I took the little four legged freak out for a walk tonight. It was nice. About 55 degrees, but with a little breeze.

I decided to pick up the pace after walking for about 15 minutes. I mean, why not? My legs haven't done much of anything except hold up my ever-growing mid section for 2 months, so lets force them to vigorously pump the pavement like a dude on $1 night at a whore house. It's fine.
Things were going good, my legs were loose, my lungs were doing.....well, ok, and I felt really great and then we rounded a corner and came across this fun little event:

Not the best pic, but it's a guy running with a hang-glide. In a field. With barely there wind.

Random.

We turned around. Leary of what crazy hang-glide dude would do to us and continued on our brisk run.

The pup has this thing about pulling my arm out of the socket on every walk. I swear my right shoulder is mammoth sized compared to my left from trying to reign him in. Maybe I should switch arms.....hummmmm. Or train him better.

I think I made it about 15 more steps before my lungs failed.

My head is red because either my blood has decided to defy gravity and is traveling at full force in the opposite direction of my legs because of the torture I'm inflicting upon them with the looooonnnnnggggg overdue run. OR because my skin barely sees temps below 72 and is crying out for me to smother myself with a warm blanket or to prop myself 2 inches in front of a space heater for 4 hours.

Either way.....not.looking.pretty.
The expression on my face isn't the best either. Note to self: don't look like this for the camera. Ever again.

But the first exercise experience for the year went pretty good, all things considered. And I did fairly well today on the whole not shoving 22 donuts, 4 bags of popcorn, and 7 slices of pizza in my face thing too. Had some sushi, salad, yogurt, apple, and chicken.

I think I'm going to start a new challenge soon. An eating better challenge.

But more on that tomorrow. Because Wyatt needs let in, and then back out and then back in, and maybe back out again, about 15 more times than he already has been tonight.
Ugh, that dog, how I love him!

New obsession.

So..........

I've found a new obsession:

Chobani Apple Cinnamon Greek Yogurt.

That little bastard is not safe anywhere near me. Case in point below:

Took me a whole 1.58 minutes to mow that down.
Must be a record.

You've been tagged!

Thanks to my dear friend Dawnya!!

The Rules:1. Post these rules.
2. You must post 11 random things yourself.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Go to their blog and tell them that you've tagged them.
6. No stuff in the tagging section about ‘you are tagged if you are reading this.’ Blah blah blah, you legiti­mately have to tag 11 peeps!

11 Random things about me:

1. I'm CDO (OCD, the right way) about random shit. Like numbers, this 11 shit is killing me. And having the salt and pepper shakers all in a neat line. And putting things in my purse in certain areas...every time. Like phone in outside pocket, keys in zipper pocket, chapstick buried at the bottom.

2.  I'm shy. Like really shy. If I don't know you, or it's the first couple times we've met....I will not talk. At all. But get a few beers in me and I won't shut up.
3. I just found Words with Friends on my Fire and can't put the damn thing down now. Great.
4. My first camera was given to me in 8th grade. Still haven't put a camera down since. But before then, never took pictures, or had the desire.
5. I hate spiders. Like will scream and jump to the moon if there is one within a mile of me.
6. I was in college for 7 years. No, I am not a doctor. Just liked to have too much fun.
7. I love Ford Mustangs. The older ones. And the newer ones. Love them. Will have another one, some day.
8. I have lived in 3 states, Iowa, Nebraska, and Kansas.
9. I can not drink tequila anymore. Bad, bad, badbadbadbad experience in college. (Like I drank a whole bottle by myself bad. In shots.) Never again.
10. My dream home would be on a beach. I love the ocean. I think I'm going to have to settle for a lake. (because there's no good hunting for the hubby on a beach.lol)
11. I suck at sports. Not the most athletic human being. Quite the opposite of my husband. He'll have to play catch with the future kids!

Dawyna's  questions:

1. What is your favorite color? Purple!
2. Who was your first love? His name was Jeff. Fell in love my Junior year in HS and stayed together for 3 years. I think.
3. Do you secretly dislike your bestfriend? Nope. Love her to peices. My little Indian Princess, Tina! Been besties since college! (We may or may not have gotten in a lot of trouble back in the day!!)
4. How many times do you go pee in a day? OMG, like a bizillion. I drink assloads of water. Runs right through me.
5. Have you ever been arrested? Yes. Once. Technically, twice, actually. Stupid college years.
6. What anti-virus software do you use on your computer/laptop (repeat question from FB)? AVG.
7. Have you ever had a one night stand? Ummmm, NOOOO. Never. I'm a virgin.
8. Would you date outside your race? Sure.
9. Do you eat pork rinds? Yuckypoo! No.
10. Do you have artificial nails? No, but would love some. I just can't justify the money. And I work with paint thinner, so they would pretty much look like crap.
11. What did you eat for dinner last night? Pasta. Yummers.

 My questions:

1. Did you have a pet when you were a kid?
2.  Favorite sports team?
3.  If you had all the money in the world and could only by either shoes or purses, which would you pick?
4.  Do you wear more brown or black clothing?
5.  Have you lived in the same area all or life?
6.  What was the last movie you saw?
7.  What was the last book you read?
8.  What's your perfect idea of a 'free Saturday' (nothing to do)?
9.  What do you wear most: Heels or Flats?
10. Have you ever shot a gun?
11. Favorite food?

And who I am tagging?

 

Angie

Jordan

Mrs. P

Angela

Stace

Vicky

 

 

Ten Things Thursday

So I thought I'd do this 10 Things with a few New Year's Resolutions.Ten to be exact.
Because, well, why not. And I know y'all are just sittin' on the edge of your seats waiting to find out what they are.

1.  Be more like the Honey Badger. Because he don't give a SHIT.

Yes. I am too much of a worrier. Or am too stressful. Or I need to not give a shit. Take your pick. What.the.hell.ever. I prefer the word 'Passionate'. It has a nice ring. But it's just not working for me. Regardless, I need to take a chillaxative. So starting today I will be less stressed, worried, and be more calm.

2. Be a better person. Be a better Sister, Daughter, Wife, Friend, Neighbor, Super Model. I think I can make a better effort. In all areas. But I guess not in the Super Model part, we all know I got that down pat. I mean, look at me modeling this fine bottle of liquor:

Priceless.

Enough said.

3. Complete a solid 30 days of eating clean. (With the occasional beer). It can't be that hard. I mean really, folks. Lets just rub my steel balls together and do this thing. Starting 1/9/12.

4. Run at least two 5Ks. Simple. To the point. I can do this.

5. PLUS, Run a 10K. With the high probability of running a half marathon also. Holy Balls. Make the resolutions stop now, please. Clearly, the padded room is within reach after that comment.

6. Weight train my ass off. Literally. I'm not setting any specific goals other than just stepping up my game from last year. Where, really, no weights were lifted at all. What's a 'weeee-ate' by the way???

7. Don't dance like this ever again:

Yes, that is little miss Jordan on the left (red belt; good pic, huh Jordan?! You'll thank me later.) and Long Hair McGee Me on the right. Wayyyyy back in the day. Betcha y'all didn't know I once had hair to almost my ass, huh? It looks shortish here, but it wasn't. Trust me.

8. Play fetch with my Puppy more.

"I deserve it Mom!"

Yes, yes you do.

9. Never look at your old pictures on the Book of Face while you're half cocked after a horrible loss to your in-state rivels in basketball (that would have been last night when I was pre-writing this), because you find these:

Yes, I'm filling the lake up. It's fine. (Bachelorette party. Enough said for the hat sitcheeation. And the peeing.)

10. But above all else......Remember what's most important.

Source

Source (Best wedding photographers in the world by the way! And my mentor!)

Remember that I have another year with my amazing husband. And fantastic family. And incredible friends.
I am blessed.
And that's all that really matters.

Now go forth and conquer the day with gusto!!!

Art Major does not equal Math anything.

My friend, Lindsay A., said it best by posting this on my FB wall:

Where is the Mother F-ing pole? That I ask you.

Cake, Tats, & Furniture. Ohhh the fun on Christmas.

Oh Mylanta.
 
It’s been awhile, huh?
 
Betcha thought I forgot about all you lovely freaknesses.
 
Nope. Not so much.

Did you miss me? Sure you did. Just nod your head.

I’ve just been pretending I can do it all. Ya know, saving the planet. Creating world peace.  No biggie.
 
But then I checked back in with Mr. Reality.
And actually it's more like I’ve been a lazy turd for 10 days.  It's fine.
 Doing lots of nothing. Ohhhh the bliss.

But copious amounts of this happened....

So sorry for the food porn way early in the blog. But not really.

 Weeeeeeelllllllllll, I did do some things. Tiny things. Minuscule really. None of which involved strenuous physical activity or consuming any nutrition that was remotely healthy (see above). Just so you know. Please hide your shock. Seriously. Hide it.
 
Christmas Eve this happened:
 

Don't worry, my boobs are definitely not large enough to have that kind of cleavage. It's a weird camera angle.

That would be Big Mike tattooing moi. Super guy. Great artist.

Yes.
It hurt.
Like a som’bitch.
 
No, more like little Satan elves were pouring acid on my skin, then taking mulitple mini jackhammers and pounding the shit outta my rib bones. For hours. And hours. And hours. (In reality, it only lasted about 30 minutes.)
 
It. Was. Horrible.
 
But I did not cry. Nope. Not one tear. I put on my big girl panties and looked up at the sky and said ‘Mike, this is for you, and I’m going to be one strong bad ass chica, and do this without crying.’ And I did.

A little mini side-boob action for you. Your welcome.

 Where’s my F*ing Big Girl Panty Wearing I Am She-Ra Hear Me Roar Bad Ass of the Year trophy? Huh? Where?
And may it be full of beer and given to me by my future husband, Ryan. Not my current good looking Ryan, the other one. Or maybe both of them. Yes, yes,  both of them, I like that idea.

Food and Man porn. I'm on a roll.

 Anyways.

It’s pretty, right? My tat. Not Mr. Reynolds. But he's pretty too.

Big Mike did an excellent job and I will probably drive all over our wee little state to have him tat me up again. Some time. But not in the near future.
 
Then we went out to eat at this fancy schmancy restaurant with Ryan’s parents for Xmas Eve. It was good. But I’m really a big beer and peanuts on the floor type girl (don’t act like you didn’t know that), so next time we’re going to have to go somewhere like that.
 
Opening of presents followed.

 
I think Wyatt was happy with his gift from Grandma and Grandpa. Wouldn't stop moving long enough to take a good picture. Crazy animal.

And really, it’s what I opened that sucked the ever loving energy right outta my core and made me the lazy turd I have been for days on end. Hand to bible. It was all this little gadget’s fault:

 
That’s RIGHT!!!!
I got my Kindle Fire! (And yes, Sarah's blog was the last thing I was looking at!)
 
That good for nothing sarcastic wonderful man of a husband ended up dragging on the whole 'I couldn't get you a Kindle Fire for Xmas blah blah blahbity blah' for a good long time. Right up until we opened the gifts. He even had me going that he got me 'tickets' to go somewhere instead. Like on a plane somewhere. Jerk. But a wonderful jerk.

I straight up read the ENTIRE Hunger Games trilogy. In 5 days. This thing is dangerous.

After Xmas we went back to Wichitity (AKA Wichita) to do more exciting things.

Put your funderpanties on for this...................

I refinished my grandmother's dinning room table. AND re-upholstered my mom's chairs to match. Exciting, I know. Ty Pennington can suck on this.....

Whatever Grandma Margie stained the table with the first time was the equivalent color of baby poo and dirt. Not pretty. So I stripped it down. Sanded my life away. Re-stained it a very beautiful Mission Oak. Then varnished it to high gloss. I do good work. I know. Don't hate.

And my mother......bless her southwestern-style loving soul......had these fantastic mission style chairs that she didn't want any more, but they had this god awful (sorry Jules) 90s Southwestern motif going on that was just oh.so.not.happenin' in my kitchen. So I added some new pretty red, tan, green, brown, whatever fabric to them, and also re-enforced them with extra boards for more sturdiness (ya know, because of all the cake I've been mowing down), and Waaaaaa Laaaaaa......

Old fabric on the left. It's ok to cover your eyes at the hideousness. New fabric on the right.

So Purty!!!

 I am the refurnishing queen. It's fine. You can admit it.

After that I did a lot of selling of old furniture on the List of Craig. Made about 150 bones. BOOM CHAAACAAALAKA!

Today was Back To Work Day. It sucked porcupine balls. Hardest day of my life. For realz.
But you gotta do what you gotta do.

Well, I won't bore you any longer.
I'm off to do......something. Or nothing. Or play on my Fire. Whatever.

I do have Twenty Dozen semi-resolutions and healified crap to talk to y'all about. Because it's definitely oh so riveting.
But you're just gonna have to wait.

Peace out homies.
And happy freaking New Year.

I've changed my mind.

I don't wanna Kindle Fire.

Nope.

It's just not doing it for me anymore.

I want something just a twinge bigger:

Look! ---> Wyatt is even looking at it and wants it too!

That's right.
Not just a house on an island.
I want the whole house and island with it's private beaches, beautiful coral reef to scuba dive, it's private dock and, of course, the helicopter pad.

Clearly I deserve this.

Ryan: could you make 12 million dollars in the next 24 hours and buy this little present for me, so that we can spend Christmas in The Keys please?
I mean really, it's just pocket change.
BONUS: You wouldn't have to wrap anything if you got me this.

I think it's a win win. Don't you?