Day 8: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.

OK, so apparently I'm off a day, it's really Day 8. Duh....today is July 8th. Helloooooo. I'm an idiot.
So you get TWO posts today.
Lindsey, hang on to your funderwaear for this!!!

A piece of advice.....huh.
This is kinda tough.

Ummmm, don't be a douche-canoe........
Does that count?

How about: never wear beige spandex/tights/skin-fitting leggings. Ever.

Oh, I got a good one!!! It's actually useful! When taking a picture, put your chin DOWN. Yes, I know that most people are like 'WHAT?!?! But I'll have a double chin!! NOoooooo, that'll look terrible.'

But really, it won't. What happens is your chin actually creates a shadow and it hides your flabbiness south of your chin area. I can't tell you how many people I have to tell to lower their chin when I take their photos. There they are, nose in the air, and the only thing you see is a really, really long neck....then a little face. Not flattering folks, not flattering at all.  What's more, if you can slightly tilt your head to one side or the other and bring your chin to your shoulder, kinda, (ever so slightly!), that will look even better than a head-on face shot.

Oh, and if you're taking a full body photo, put your body at an angle, like have your right hip face the front, then your shoulders head-on, so you kinda create a 'S' curve. Then pop one toe so your knee is bent and WAAALAAAA, 20 lbs lighter.

That's my advice.
Do I follow it myself????
Nope. Because I hate taking pictures. That's why I'm behind the camera.

But there you go. Words of wisdom.
You're welcome.

Blog Every Day: Day 7 - The thing(s) you're most afraid of

OK. Soooooooooooooooo sorry for the hiatus.....Lindsey......but I was at the lake and there's no WiFi.

But I'm back! And continuing with the blogging thang. I'm going to just jump ahead to what today would be....which I think is Day 7.

Here we go:

F*CKING SPIDERS

They can all burn in Hell.

And you know what's really freakin' out of this world scary?

Our dock seems to be the breeding ground for the dinosaur sized 8 legged beasts. *shivers* They're everywhere! But I close my eyes to it and ignore it. Because I'm at the lake and all. And they usually stay in the rafters, and I'm usually in the boat or water. Well, last weekend, I'm just swimming along, and I'm getting ready to use the ladder to get out and what do you know there's a hairy mammoth-sized devil spider crawling right where I would have put my hand.

Did I scream?
-No
Did I jump clean out of the water, grow pretty Pegasus wings and fly to the Bahamas?
-No

I calmly put on my big girl swim trunks and took my little floaty seat out from my enormous ass, and went about swatting the bastard until it was in the water.
I'm a hero!!!!

This is where those dolphin claps need to be happening by y'all.
And I need a sparkly crown too.

Well, my hero-ness lasted approximately 7 seconds before I realized that the freaky little bastard CAN SWIM!!!

What.The.F*ck?!?!?!

What kind of Satanist world do I live in where effing spiders can SWIM!!!???

And of course the little Michael Phelps wanna-be swam right for me. With it's fangs out. And drool coming down. And fire in it's eyes.
It was out for blood, people.
I was a goner.
I said my prayers and accepted my fate.
The little bastard would eat off my face and that's that.

But that didn't happen.
Obviously, because I'm here to tell the tale. Somehow, I out-swam the beast and made it to the dock before he could sink his talons in me. It was miraculous for sure.

And through the entire episode, I did not scream once. I may have hyperventilated slightly and almost drowned, but I didn't scream.
Bonus points for me.

So, that's my biggest fear. Bastard spiders. Doesn't matter the size. They're all the Devil's little torture pets to me. If I ever found a magic lamp (which will happen one day) I'm using one of my 3 genie wishes to illuminate all spiders. Except Daddy Long Legs. Because, while they are the most poisonous spider out there, they're mouths are too small to bite you, so I have no fear of them (seems logical). And they eat mosquitoes. And anything that eats mosquitoes gets a pass in my book.

Pregnancy - WEEK 33 (June 30th – July 6th)

This is me...NO make up, 5:45AM, and exhausted. Pretty.

7 weeks to go.

Or less.

Whew.

Who’s as ready to meet Baby Girl as I am!?!?!

That’s all I think about now-a-day’s….what does she look like? Is she going to have black or really dark hair? Is she going to have blue eyes like me? I think it’s safe to say that she has my mouth…..just by the sono pictures. Lol.

What’s her personality going to be like? Is she going to be stubborn like her Mama….and the rest of my side of the family? Is she going to want to be on-the-go and active like her Daddy?

Will she be tall? Will she *hopefully* get my mom’s side of the family metabolism? Or will she be like me and everything goes to her ass? Or will she be like Ryan & his parents and be super in shape?

Will she be an artist?

Or will she be athletic?

Or both?

So many questions. I wonder so much!

As, I’m sure, every expecting mother does. But I just can’t wait! I want to meet her now!!!

Well, not right this minute. But soon. Ok, how about after we move. Anytime after that, I’m good.

I’m still having the typical pregnancy symptoms of sleepless nights, stuffy nose, shortness of breath, and oh ya, my personal favorite….swollen feet. Yup, the feet aren’t getting any better. No matter how much water I drink. Or how much I try to stay off them. By the time I get home they are huge and sore and all I want to do is stab a person. Not good when you need to pack up your shit for your impending move in a week. Whatever.

But, all in all, it’s still not that bad. If I can catch up on sleep on the weekends, then I’m usually good. And this weekend being a holiday, I’m going to rest up for sure!!! I should come back all energized and ready to go! (ya, I’ll let you know if that happens)

On to Baby Girl!

This week she’s still growing. And growing, and growing! They say she can double in weight by the time she’s born…..lets all pray that doesn’t happen, because having a 10 lb baby is not in my future.

Baby Girl is acting more like a baby by closing her eyes during sleep and opening them during awake times. She’s also getting more and more pushy. The amniotic fluid is maxed out so there’s more baby than fluid, which means I’m feeling her more….and boy does she let me know she’s there!!! There have been a few nights where she’s kicked and moved and tried to stretch out, for about 3 hours….non-stop!

Another big achievement is the development of her immune system is complete! She can now be able to provide protection from mild infections, along with help from my anti-bodies, of course. So that’s good!

44 more days to go!


FYI This will be my last post for the week, as I don't have internet the rest of the week. The July Blog Every Day Challenge will commence on Monday!
Have a great 4th ya'll!!!

Blogging Every Day: Day 3 - Things that make you uncomfortable.

~~~~~~~~OR~~~~~~~~

Day 3: You're so pregnant, everything makes you freaking uncomfortable, so you're going to bitch a lot about that.

Welcome to BitchFest 2013!!!!

My ass hurts.
It's uncomfortable to sit.
Because Baby Girl has moved back down and is doing a hand stand on my tailbone. It feels awesome.

I can't bend over to tie my shoes. The belly gets in the way and then I about pass out because my lungs are squished.
Bonus: I can't wear tie-able shoes because my feet are too swollen.

This is how I have to sit at my desk. It makes it very uncomfortable to type. But my feet don't get as huge if I keep them up.

You can see my mammoth but truly lovely cankles.
I heart cankles.

I also heart that face I'm making in that pic.

Jeez.

Non-pregnancy related uncomfortableness:

1. Strangers. I'm shy. Really.  I know, it doesn't seem like it on here, but I am. So, any time I'm around people I don't know, and I don't know what to say, I get all weird and act like an idiot. Most of the time the strangers start running for the hills. Whatevs.

2. Hemorrhoids. I've never had them, but I believe they'd be very uncomfortable.

3. Sometimes I can't verbalize what I want to say. Then I get weird and uncomfortable. I do much better at writing.

4.  The dreaded walk of shame in college. Not that I ever had to do that or anything. But if I had, I'm sure I was uncomfortable as I toted my ass down some huge flight of fraternity stairs wearing a sequins skirt and tube top with my hair sorta Elvira-On-Crack-like.

5.  Oh, and people who aren't smart-asses make me uncomfortable. Everyone should be a smart-ass. It makes the day better!

To make your day better, because I'm nice like that, here's a few animals that are definitely comfortable. Beware, you will be laughing so hard you might fall out of your rolley chair. And your co-workers will look at you like you've grown a 3rd head.

You're welcome.

Blog Every Day: Day 2 Recap on Ice Cream Post

Day 2: Educate us on something you know alot about or are good at. Take any approach you'd like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic)

~~~~~~~~~~~OR~~~~~~~~~~~~

Day 2:  Recap on Welcome to Suckhole Post, aka The 'Ice Cream' Post.
(bc #1 I don't feel like educating anyone about how little I know about jack shit, and #2 this is my blog and I want to talk about this.......and I wonder where Baby Girl gets her sass......jeez)


Remember how I took TastyKakes from midget children and then talked about other people not liking ice cream as much as me, which pissed me off, but for those reading the post, only made you want to cruise to your local Blue Bell supplier for a trough of double chocolate chunk on THIS POST? (that was an epic run-on sentence btw)

Well, I have some news for you. Or more like an update.

I got a lot of comments and emails about my sitch, and truly received some great advice. Most of it was like, 'Eh, you can't change the person, so learn to live w/o it.' Or others were like, 'Talk a walk. Get away. De-stress. Then you'll realize it's not so bad after all.' 

And I really connected with what I could live and could NOT live without in my life. And 'ice cream' was something that I think I can give up in order to still be with the person that doesn't love it as much as me. I would much rather spend the rest of my life with that person, and not have any ice cream at all. I think I would truly die without that person. So giving up ice cream seems like small potatoes compared to that.

But, I ended up talking about it with the person. And we really had some interested things to say.....to each other. First, the other person doesn't NOT like ice cream. It's just that they aren't comfortable with having it every night. It's just not a lifestyle they're accustom to.  But, they are willing to make more of an effort to give me the ice cream I need, when they can. 

I'll take it!!!

Also, there's a lot going on right now. So, worrying about me not getting my ice cream fix was not on their priority list. Which, is fine. It's not their problem, it's mine. It kinda made me think that if I love ice cream so much, why aren't I the one to bring it up??? Why do I have to wait for someone else to make a bowl??? Ya know?!

Bottom line is: I talked it out with the person. We agreed to both try harder, but there really isn't a way to 'change' the other person into what we want them to be or like. You just have to accept them. For who they are. Which is probably why you started loving them in the first place.  And if I'm missing some ice cream action, and the other person is preoccupied with life, then I need to get the bowls down and share. Versus waiting for them to acknowledge my need for it.

Blogging Every Day: Day 1 My Life

So my friend Lindsey obviously doesn't think I blog enough (she may be a little right about that, but shhhhh don't tell her), so she strategically placed a link on my FB page to a challenge-type-thingy of blogging every day in the month of July. Sneaky Lindsey.....very sneaky.

But! It does sound like fun, so I thought I'd give it a whirl!
The lady on the link did it in May, so it's a little off, but I think I can make it work for July. And I may or may not follow all her suggestions for the topics, but I can do that, 'cause it's my blog. So there.

Day 1: The story of your life in 250 words or less (or one paragraph... no one will be counting your words... probably)

Ok. Here we go.

I'm a 32 year old married lady, soon-to-be Mama for the first time (in Aug) to a baby girl. I was born in Nebraska, and grew up in Iowa and Kansas. Midwest for life! Whoop Whoop! (But not really.)  I have a fantastic husband who makes me laugh every day and a lovable yellow lab Wyatt, who is spoiled rotten. I have an amazing Mom who pretty much solely raised me......to be awesome. I also have a dynamite 'step'-Mom that I adore and am so glad she's in my life. My (step)Dad was my 'real' dad. He passed away from cancer 3 years ago. I still miss him every day. My biological dad I don't talk to, and am relieved and glad about that. And now, my Mom is dating this amazing guy, Hardy, whom I consider my 'new dad'. I graduated from Kansas State University with a Bachelors of Fine Art in Photography and I now work as a graphic designer in the aviation industry. I love the lake, relaxing in the mountains, beer (when I'm not knocked up), long walks on the beach (if we had any), and sweets. I loath to exercise, but I know I need it, and I still don't do it. lol. I'm a perfectionist and slightly CDO (OCD). And I think I've gone over the 250 words.

Day Uno.....Complete.

Thanks Lindsey for this!! This is going to be a blast!

Pregnancy WEEK 31 (June 23rd - June 29th)

Hellllooooooo belly.

There’s days when I don’t feel ‘big’…..and then there’s days like above that I feel humungous.  And there’s a good reason why I’m humungous, but we’ll get into that in a little bit.

New things this week, with me anyway: The exhaustion has hit. Like a freakin’ Mack truck. Last weekend was Baby Shower #1 (which was wonderful, btw. I’ll have pics soon) and while I didn’t really ‘do’ anything, I ended up staying up pretty late Friday night and was up at 530am Sat, then I didn’t hit the pillow until 11pm.  No nap, no rest, no nothin’. Needless to say on Sunday I tried to rest as much as possible, but it didn’t help. I ended up taking a sick day on Monday and literally slept all day. I still didn’t feel 100% until Wed. of this week, and even today I’m a little fatigued.

I think I need to suck it up and realize it’s going to be like this until this baby girl makes her grand appearance. Awesomesauce.

I also think I need to ease up a bit on running around and ‘doing it all’. Christ, I’m 7 months pregnant; I think I deserve a little easing up.

As far as other symptoms, the swollen feet thing has gotten a little worse. I’ve noticed that if I get below 70ish ounces of water a day, that the feetsies get WAY worse. So I’m trying to up my water intake and lower my sodium to combat that lovely little preggy thing. I’ve resorted to flip flops at work, which isn’t really ‘following the rules’, but when do I ever follow the rules?  And shoes just feel so uncomfortable. And tight. Screw it, if they want to tell a 7 month pregnant lady that has to deal with 107 degree temps to put on shoes, I pity the fool.

I’ve also had some epic snoring events…..so says the husband.

I still blame the dog.

Other than that, ice cream & donuts are at the top of the cravings list. Funny thing though, the other day I was going to restock my supply, and I really had a craving for sherbet.  I haven’t had sherbet since I was about 9. Normally I’m all about chocolate or vanilla, but now I really want all kinds of lime, and orange, and strawberry sherbet. So, of course, I bought a tub……strictly for work. Lol. I bought s’mores for home. It’s outta control folks.

Ok. Enough about me!!! On to baby girl!!!!

This week was our 32 week check-up, and we had an ultra sound too!

Check out this adorable little Missy:

This is the best 3D pic we could get. She kept covering her face and wouldn't sit still!

This is a very close up of her face. Her little nose and mouth is squished, but you can barely tell she's sticking her tongue out at us!!! And Ryan says she has her mama's 'pouty' lips. I have no idea what he's talking about. I don't pout. And there isn't any photo evidence of when I was about 5 and pouting on the stage at a Miss Pocahontas contest, either.

This is kinda a profile with the head on the right, and you can see her leg and foot bent up at the top. She's almost touching her toes to her forehead!

This is a better profile. With those pouty lips again.....

Remember how I was measuring big, and a lot of you were like, ‘Eh, no worries, everyone is different’. And I was all, ‘OK’. Well, now we know exactly why I’m measuring big…..Baby Girl is BIG!

She weighs in at a whopping 5lbs and 1oz!!! A full pound larger than ‘average’ babies, at this time. OH, and she’s in the 75^th percentile for size. Is anyone shocked by this, given the fact that Daddy is a giant? Nope. Me either.

And to give an extra kick to things, I have a lot of amniotic fluid in there. I think the ‘high’ range is around 24, and I’m at a 22. Which is nothing to worry about; Doc says that he’s seen a lot of woman this year with a large amount of fluid. But combine that with the fact that she’s big, and you get me measuring at 34 inches!

34 INCHES!!!!

I’m at 32 weeks people. I’m supposed to be 32 inches!

Technically, I’m a full 2 weeks ahead of schedule. I think we can chuck that Aug. 18^th due date, because myself (and about every other person on the planet) believes that she’ll be here early. Apparently, she’s a go-getter.  (Hummmmm, remind you of anyone…..Ryan……)

As far as everything else goes, she’s doing great. She’s healthy; her heart and stomach and brain look good. She also has HAIR!! LOL. Not surprised since I came out with a full head, and Ryan’s got thick hair too. She’s still sassy as all hell (reference, again, the picture with her sticking out her tongue). We couldn’t get a good 3D picture because she kept moving around and putting her foot in her face either.

It was also proven that she’s got her ass in my right lower ribcage. And she’s kinda curled up in the fetal position, with her head way down, and her feet/knees in my left ribcage. Which solidifies the fact that when she kicks me it feels like I’m going to explode from the inside out.  She had some epic kicks the other night, I don’t know what she was doing in there, but it was constant movement for like 2 hours. She doesn’t have all that much space, so it’s not like she can do acrobatics or anything. But she was surely making her presence known. Again, with the sass.

I think she’s going to be a handful, what do you think?! lol