Day 19: Pregnancy WEEK 35 (July 14th – July 20th)

Ok, don’t kill me. I know I missed week 34, but with moving, working, and other BS I just couldn’t find the time to write down the updates. Plus, not much happened anyway. I could probably sum it up in a sentence:

Baby girl got bigger, Mama got bigger.

The end.

Moving on to Week 35!

Yes, we settled into our new house! It’s amazing. And so roomy!!! Baby Girl’s room is almost complete. Only thing we really need to do is paint and get a mattress, and we’re done! I got all her clothes washed and hung. I got the oodles of diapers I already have put away. And I arranged all the furniture to my liking. I’ll do pics once the painting is done.

As far as the rest of the house it’s slowly but surely coming together. We’ve got almost everything put away and some pictures hung. It’s definitely starting to look like home!

I, of course, pushed myself too hard the last couple weeks. You knew I would.  Don’t act like you didn’t. I just kept going and going. I think part of it is nesting. Other part is the CDO in me that needs to have things ‘in their place’. I ended up being so exhausted that yesterday I had a full-on meltdown. At work. It was awesome.  I was/am just so mentally and physically exhausted I didn’t even realize how bad it was until I started doing the ugly cry at work and couldn’t stop for 2 hours.  And of course, that’d be the time that everyone and their dog runs into me. So the whole company knows I’m the coo-coo preggy lady now. *sigh*

I ended up going home and mowing down a sleeve of oreos and a container of sushi, then passed out for 4 hours. It was bliss. Except I need about 4 more days like that. Good thing is that after this weekend we have NOTHING going on except for waiting on Baby Girl to get here. So I have plenty of time to relax and enjoy this last few weeks.

One of the other reasons I’m exhausted all the time is because I’ve developed the damned pregnancy induced carpal tunnel syndrome. There are not enough curse words in the dictionary to describe this shit. It’s mainly in my right hand, but the left hand acts up too. Basically, if I hold my hand in any position, could be as simple as letting it rest comfortably in my lap, the damn thing goes numb. And it’s not the fun ‘shoot me in the mouth with the fun-number at the dentist, you get to drool, and slurp ice cream out of a straw’ kind of numb. It’s the ‘my foot falls asleep and then I have a thousand fire hot needles prickling my skin and want to get a chainsaw and become an amputee’ kind of numb. It’s painful people! And it keeps me up……All.Night.Long.

Oh, and my feet are still the size of a hippos ass cheek. That’s fun too.

Newest symptom is I can’t breathe. Apparently Baby Girl has found a comfy spot squished up under my ribs somewhere, so that my lungs are the size of peanuts. Seriously, I’m sitting here typing and I’m hyperventilating. I’m not only the ugly crying crazy lady, but I’m breathing like I just ran 18 miles or did the nasty at the top of Pikes Peak.

Good news in all this mayhem is I really feel her. Like, REALLY feel her. Every day. And it still is just the coolest, most rewarding, feeling ever. We have full conversations sometimes. (Hello, coo-coo!) No really, when I’m hungry, she starts moving around and is hungry too (or at least that’s what I think). Yesterday, when I was exhausted, she must have been too, because she didn’t move once during my nap. And she usually goes and goes all day.

I’m so anxious for her to get here, but at the same time, I’m trying to enjoy these moments and feelings for as long as I can. There’s just nothing like it in the world!

Alrighty! Let’s talk about Baby Girl!

According to the book, she should be around 5.5 lbs and 20 inches long. But since we had the sono 3 weeks ago and she measured at 5 lbs then, I’m estimating (at a ½ lb gain a week) that she’s about 6.5 lbs by now.  And I’ll bet you 459 TastyKakes that she’s over 20 inches too. But, we got about 5 weeks till we find that out for sure!!!

As far as other things, her little brain is growing and growing, with the soft skull of course. But other than that, she’s just packing on the pounds. She’s up to 15% of her body fat, and she’ll be born with about 30%.

It’s getting to be crunch time folks! 5 more weeks to go!!! (or less, lol)

Day 16: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it

Lets see, it's no secret that I suffer from depression, as do a lot of people. Some have it mild, some have it severe. Some have it because of situations that are going on in their life at the time, ie divorce, death, etc. Others were just born that way.
I was born that way.
And while my depression isn't super suicidal severe, it can get pretty bad.

I've had two severe episodes in my life. First was in college; there I am, drinking my life away, sleeping all day, and flunking school. Who knew that there was something 'wrong' with me. I just thought I was a loser. But, with help from friends and a lot of family, I went to counseling and learned that I lack the 'happy gene'. Some people can function on a day to day basis and be happy, or have joy, but with me, I don't/can't. It's not that I don't smile or laugh, because I do, it's more that there's a feeling in the very back of my mind that I'm severely unhappy. Like, no matter how much I laugh, drink, sleep, eat, etc, nothing is going to make that little part of my brain have joy.  And slowly, over time, that little piece of my brain becomes this huge chaotic shitstorm. And then I basically go batshit. Only I don't know it. It's like I'm abducted by the crazy aliens and replaced with a psycho.

In college, I worked very hard for about 2.5 years in counseling and using biofeedback, to get to a better place. I also got on medication, which helped a shit-ton. I was able to graduate college and be pretty normal.

Then I met Ryan and I felt like I didn't need the pills. I started to question the counseler and what he 'knew'. And a little piece of me wanted to be 'normal', sans the meds. So for 6 years I was pill-free. Whoopy.

And then I got on clomid to try and get pregnant and that's when my second episode exploded.  I probably should have been institutionalized. Or straight jacketed. Or whatever. 

It happened so slow (like it probably took years), that I didn't know what was going on. Ryan could tell, my mom could tell, but I kept believing that I was still 'normal'.
Jesus balls was I ever not normal.
The last few months before I got pregnant, it was bad. Really bad. I was drinking all the time. I was fighting with Ryan. I was bitchy at work. I just wasn't me. I didn't feel like me. Finally, Draz convinced me to get back on my pills. I was pregnant by that point, she made the point that my emotions are going to be all over the place with the pregnancy, and do I want to enjoy my time being pregnant, or do I want to bury myself under the covers the whole time?
Obviously, I chose to enjoy my pregnancy.

And you know what? After starting my pills (which is Zoloft, btw), I noticed a HUGE improvement in myself. Like monumental. It made me realize that I made the right choice.

I will struggle with depression the rest of my life. I'll probably be on pills the rest of my life. I will have to continue to practice biofeedback on a daily basis. I will have to work VERY HARD. And that's ok. I would rather do all that, than go back down that path of self destruction any day.

Day 15: A Day in the life (include photos from throughout your typical day - this could be "a photo an hour" if you'd like)

~~~~OR~~~~

Day 15: Pregnancy Words of Wisdom from yours truly: Goddess of Pregnancy

Sorry I missed Sat and Sun. Moving. It blows ass. Stinky donkey ass.

WoW-Pregnancy Style:

1.  When 7.75 months pregnant, DO NOT attempt to race up your basement stairs, two at a time, to catch the moving guys before they bring your deep freeze to the basement, that has no plug-ins in the spot where you wanted to put the deep freeze.  Your legs will give out mid-jump, on the first attempt at the 2-step try, because you're about 40+ lbs a fatass, and your equilibrium is off because there's a heavy beach ball stuck on your belly button.  Hopefully, you will be lucky enough that you don't face-plant the corner of the stair. And only your best friend Jordan saw you. And she didn't even lecture that much. 

Just save yourself the trouble and don't do it.

2.  When each of your feet are the size of a hippo's ass cheek, soaking them in an effing freeze-your-toes-off ice bath does really help. Your tootsies almost feel semi-normal the next day, and will shrink to baby hippo's ass cheek.

Beware, that first time you dip your sore little toesies in that water, you will throw out curse words you never knew you knew. Because it's take-your-Christian-values-away kind of cold.

3.  Make use of your jacuzzi tub! No, I'm trying not to make y'all jealous or anything............well, maybe a little. But I've never had a jacuzzi tub in the bathroom. And even when I was pre-pregnancy normalish-sized, I rarely took baths because I didn't fit so well. (Damn those pigmy-sized tubs and my 5'8" ass height!)

And even having the new giant sized tub, I still wasn't all that thrilled because I had numerous people tell me that they rarely used theirs because it took forever to fill up, it got cold, it was a pain in the ass, whiny, whine whine, whinertown.  Well, I thought I'd see for myself and holy shitballs people!!! There are jets!!! In a bathtub!!! That massage your feet and lower back!! And it makes LOTS of bubbles! Well, almost too many bubbles, we almost had an overspill. Note To Self: Do not dump half a bottle of bubbles in when turning on the jets.....bubbles are extremely difficult to clean up.

It was the best 30 minutes of my life. And the water didn't take long at all, and it was actually too hot, so I had to add cold to it.

This is going to be a weekly occurrence, I believe.

4.  To help with 'Numb-Hand' (aka pregnancy induced carpel tunnel syndrome): 
A) Sleep sitting up (which is about as fun as walking on nails while being forced to listen to Fran Drescher give a lecture on photosynthesis). 
OR
B) Dangle your arm over the bed until the feeling comes back, or until the dog thinks it's the prime opportunity to give your palm a bath with his stinky dead-fish-smelling tongue.  Flip sides and repeat for other hand. Bonus: your hands are clean when you get out of bed.

5.  If moving while 7.75 months pregnant, enlist your badass best friend (who knows your CDO ways) to do all the unpacking of the kitchen and Baby Girl's room.  Your jello, sauces, baby's clothes, etc will be neatly arranged alphabetically, to color, and size. God Bless Jordan. Don't know what I'd do without her.

6.  Get a boston creme pie....or two. And eat it, every day.
It makes everything seem better.


Take this for what it's worth.....about nothing.

Have a great Monday folks!

Day 12: What do you miss?

Well, I almost missed this blogging day!!!

But, don't you worry your little hearts.
I'm here.

Hummmm, what do I miss.......

I miss Fun Dip.

Seriously. I really miss it. I haven't had Fun Dip in like eons. Is that how you spell 'eon'? Apparently. Spell check isn't bulking.
Moving on.

Ok. Truly, right this minute I miss beer. Moving all day and people (aheemmmm, my husband, my parents, my friends, the entire universe) are pounding brews and I'm over here, "Well, my feet are extra fluffy tonight. Do you know how to spell 'eon'? O'Doul's blows ass."

I also miss my Dad, Mike, but that's like every day.

Eww, that just got all poopay.

Yes, I think you should say it poop-AAAY.

Can you tell that I'm running on two nights sleep that total 3.4 hours, I've been on my feet all day, the smell wafering off my body is extra pungent, and my feet hurt so bad I'm considering amputee-ism? Or, basically, I'm tired as all hell.

Because this post is making about negative sense.

I think I'm going to go now.

Ohhhh, BTW, I'm totally writing this from the 'new house'!!!!!

Chaos.
Plus a ladder.

Day 11: Ten Things Thursday

OK, you can either do my TTT. Which is randompants all over the board. And I need that today.

~~~~OR~~~~

Day 11: Sell yourself in 10 words or less

Since I would suck balls at 'selling' myself, I'm going with TTT.

1. Wanna know what else sucks balls?
This day.

First, I got about zero sleep last night. I was on my Flintstone feet all day yesterday (they were a new level of enormous), I was bending over and packing which made my breathing seem like I was under about 300lbs of cheese whiz, and it was hot.  So, I needed a good nights rest.
Nope.
Body & mind gave the big negative on that shit. At one point I watched the clock from 3:47am to 4:59am. It was thrilling.

Second, I got to work and promptly at 8:02am, the phone rang and a product that I've REDONE THREE times needs to be redone again because the technician can't make up her mind. And it's a bitch to redo this product.

Third:

 I apparently can make the ugliest face ever and then post it on the interwebs for eternity. Awesomesauce.

But really, I got black ink on my very favorite sparkly purple KSU shirt.
This ink does not come out.
Printer: 1, Laura: -3

2.  On a positive note!!!!! We got our maternity pics back yesterday! OhhhhMmmmmGeeeeeee they are so good! My friend Emily took them. God I love her. I put a bunch on FB, but here's some more:

Don't ask. I have no idea what we're doing.

3. We're closing on the new house tomorrow!!! Woop woop! We have a home! 
Luckily, my parents are coming done tomorrow to help. Then Ryan's parents and my friend Jordan are helping Sat. I think we'll get all in and most of everything put away this weekend!!! I can't wait!
NO.MORE.MOVING!!!! Ever. Seriously. Ever.

4.  I may have bought some new TOMs yesterday.....hehehehe.
They were on sale! I had to!

Practical gray.

SPARKLY GOLD!!!

Y'all love them too, huh?
I can't wait to get them!!!
Not that I can wear them or anything. Being that my feet are dangerously close to becoming surf board size. But whatevs.

5. Why is everything so complicated today.
Why can't life be easy peezy lemon squeezy?
Ugh.

6.  It's my lovah's birthday this Sunday. When I text him that I bought the previously mentioned TOMs, this was his reply:

  Hell ya, that is a great deal. I'm very excited for you. Can I have one of the pairs? Happy birthday to u. That is a great bday present. I will make sure we can eat at your favorite restaurant on your birthday too. love u.

I think I smell a bit of sarcasm.
And it smells like dog poo.

7.  I really want to be done working, but I have so much shit to do. I think I may even have to come back tonight and get it done because I'm taking tomorrow off to move.

I'm so happy right now I could shoot rainbows outta my ass and fart glitter clouds.

8.  Just because we need a little sexy in our lives:

9.  Baby girl has camped out right below my ribcage and I can't bend over or even slouch w/o shooting pain traveling up my sternum.
Is the 6 weeks up yet?

10.  Have a better day than I'm having!!!!

Day 10: Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill.

Ohhhhhhh Lawwwwwdy.

My entire life is an embarrassing moment.
Swear.

From my insanely ditzy mental moments to my overly clumsy self, I could declare about 20,497 embarrassing moments......just last week.

~~~For instance, when I was in 3rd grade, I befriended this girl named Kari during the summer. We had just moved to town, so I hadn't even been to school yet. Once school started, Kari (living just down the road from us) rode the same bus. We became even better friends. Well, when we had a little 'parents meet each other and the teacher' thing one night (shortly after the school year started), I saw a couple sitting in Kari's desk. I told my mom that I really liked Kari, and she suggested that I tell her parents. So I bravely walked right up to them and exclaimed how much I loved hanging out with their daughter. (And me being the shy and awkward person that I am, this took A LOT.)

They both looked puzzled and then the mom said, "Our daughter's in Junior High, how do you know her?"

Ummmm, I don't know anyone in JH. Is your daughter Kari?

"Nope, our daughter is Blahbity BlahBlah."

Awesome.

At that point, I crawled under a desk and wanted to die.


~~~Another good one. In 5th grade I was hanging upside down on the monkey bars, oblivious to just about everything, during a particularly busy recess, and then all at once my shirt was over my head and my little acorns were exposed to the world. I couldn't pull my shirt down without falling head first into a pile of gravel, so I had to untangle my legs and jump down, then pull the shirt back in position. I looked around to see if anyone saw.......and YUP, the entire universe, including my male teacher. This was also (another) new town and I'd been a resident for about a millisecond. So the 'new girl' was a weirdo-nudest....typical.


~~~In 7th or 8th grade, we were taking a test in Social Studies or Science or whatthefuckever, and I was a little gassy. I couldn't hold it in anymore, and at the exact moment when there's not a SOUND happening in the classroom I let a big one rip. I was called Tudor for the rest of the year. FYI, I was still considered the 'new girl' so this did not help my 'friend-making abilities'.....At.All.
 

High school was pretty much 4 years of horribly embarrassing moments. I tend to mentally block that entire time as much as possible. I hated high school.

~~~During college, when I was about 22 or so, I thought I'd impress all these hot guys when we were at a pool (late at night and I may or may not have had too many brewskies) by diving in the shallow end. Yup, misjudged the depth and face-planted the concrete. Came up with blood gushing down my face, a huge gash in my forehead, and 4 dudes flipping out because they were too drunk to drive me to the ER and wouldn't let me call an ambulance because they didn't want cops showing up. I ended up driving myself to the ER. 7 stitches in the noggin, and I still have a scar.

I was a lifeguard at the time too. Genius.

Then, I had relive my humiliating experience to every asshat on the planet that I came face to face with, for the weeks and weeks and weeks.

Public Service Announcement-----Do Not EVER Drink & Swim....BadBadBad. I'm lucky I didn't become paralyzed.

~~~Last one. Ryan LOVES to tell this one. A few years ago, Ryan and I were at my parents house and my Dad, Mike, wanted to show us pictures of the new snow plow he put on the truck.  So we all went downstairs and were looking through the pictures of his truck, plowing through a huge winter snow storm.

Then my ditzy ass goes, "So is that before or after the snow?"

Mike looked at Ryan, and Ryan looked at Mike, and they both knew this was one slow-pitch softball right to the smacker that they weren't going to let me live down......for the rest of my life.

In my defense, there were TWO storms that winter, and I was asking if it was before the 2nd storm, or after the first. 

So. I'm just a walking embarrassment.
Only difference between high school (and before) and now, is I laugh at myself and move on. Basically, I laugh at myself a lot.
Or I write about it on here so it never dies, and so y'all can laugh at me too.
Good times.

Day 9: A moment in your day (this can be just a photo or both a photo and words)

I curse those stupid bastard printing machines.
We've been working on them for 3 hours now.
Where is a sledge hammer, I'm about to go Office Space on their shit.

But it's almost lunch time. I'll get happy again.
Because I have brownies for desert.