Monday, July 9, 2012

The Hot Mess Runners!

I know, I know. I've been MIA for like a week. And I don't want to upset my friend Lindsey any further by not writing, so here, as promised, is a post, just for you Lindsey!

Really, if work wasn't such a suckhole from the depths of Hell, I'd write all the time. Yup. Totally would. But that's ok, even the stress of work isn't getting me too down. I've been filling the stress induced near-psychotic breaks with great things like donuts, ice cream, fried everything, Sour Patch Kids, and Mt. Dew. Ugh. Someone needs to give me a high five.................
in the face.................
with a treadmill.

OK, moving on. So much has happened and is going to happen in my life. But first things first......THE COLOR RUN!!!!!

Yes, on June 30th, I trekked my lazy ass up to Kansas City to participate in this kaleidoscope of wonder. But let me back this runner train up. Lets start from the beginning. Many, many moons ago my little friend Lindsey emailed me about doing this little run with her. We've been wanting to get together to run for......I don't know......a year, and it just hasn't worked out (we live in different towns). So, what a better way to INSURE that we'd get to do a little joggy jog, than to pay $35 and travel 2.5 hours! Right?! Right.

But, Ohhhhhhh no. Not so much. Little Miss Lindsey, at the very last moment, decided that she was too cool for the likes of me and bailed. Just kidding. She ended up hurting her leg, or foot, or ankle, I'm not sure, and has been on crutches for a little while now. How freaking pissed is she that she'd been planning to do this run for months, and then like a week before, injures herself?!?! Well, I'd be pissed, that's for sure.

Well, along with her amazing planning, she also included the invitation to some of her runner buddies in her city to join us. She even came up with a Book of Face page to keep us all motivated!

So, there ended up being 6 of us on the team. Now, mind you, I only knew Lindsey, so when she couldn't go, I was forced into social awkwardtasticness. Despite my outgoingness on here, I am a little shy lady. Well, a lot of shy around strangers. Stranger danger, right? No. Ok, moving on.

Anyway, I emailed and chatted on the phone with a few of them before the big day, so I felt mildly comfortable when we got to the race. And by mildly comfortable, I was sweating bullets and looking for a shot of tequila to calm my nerves. It's fine.

Ryan and I got to the race first. And I better just point out that my husband is downright spectacular. He was the only husband there to support us, and was great at being the unofficial Color Run photographer. Thanks honey!  The first little lady to show up was Amy. Everyone is about the same age, well, I found out I was the oldest, but whatever, I'm still cooler. She strolled up and we immediately hit it off. Talking about this and that and getting all prepped for the run. Chelsea was the next to show up and that badass chica was nice enough to pick up all of our gear at registration the night before, so we didn't have to wait in line. Soooooo nice. Because lines suck donkey balls. And she even put them in our own special bags. So crafty.
My number!
Here's a pic of The Three (early) Amigos.
Left to Right: Amy, Chelsea, and Me.
Nothing says sexy like me in a headband.

After a few minutes the other girls started to arrive, Katie being one of them. I kinda hate her a little for how freaking amazing she looks. But then again, she's all, "I'm running the Chicago Marathon in October". Paahhhlease, I could run that in a drunken stupor. Actually, that'd be the only way I'd run a marathon, because if I was sober, I'd freaking cry my eyes out.  Then there was Candice and her sis-in-law Lindsey (different Lindsey, not my friend that organized all this shenanigans), they showed up last, ready to 'rocket and rock it'!!
Look at these cuties!!!!
From Left to Right: Katie, Lindsey, Candice, Chelsea, Moi, and Amy
We are some BaaaaaadAss Bitches.

The race was about to start so we headed to the street to get 'corralled'. Seriously. It was like we were livestock.

There were 12,000 people registered for the Saturday race. 12,000!!!! WTF.

Super Runner.

So after about 30 minutes standing around, waiting, and people touching me that I don't know, ewww, the race started. Since there were so many people, they ran it in 1000 person heats. We were Heat 6.

And you will not freaking believe this, but the cut our heat right in front of us! So we were first at the line!! I think they knew we were the utmost of optimal running specimens and knew that we needed to start this race off on the right foot. Pun intended.

Pretty freaking awesome, if you ask me.

Then it was our turn!
And we're off!!!!
Right away, Little Miss Speedypant's Candice and Katie bolted like their ass was on fire, which left Chelsea, Amy, Lindsey and I to bring up the rear. That lasted for about 1K before we broke off again. It actually worked out nice, because Amy and I ran about the same pace and Chelsea and Lindsey grouped up together. So we weren't in a BIG group, but still had our own running buddies.

Which, I gotta tell you, I've never ran with anyone before. Ever. (Amy you took my Running Buddy Virginity!!!) People don't like me, it's fine. But running with Amy was FABULOUS! We chatted a little, kept our pace up, and just had an overall runtastic time! Why oh why can't I have friends that live close (or friends in general) that we could run together?!
Shhh, I stole this from the website, don't tell anyone.
That's my little running buddy and I. Rocking it out with smiles on our faces. Clearly we're delusional at this point.

BTW, check my shorts. That's why I don't wear them. Ever. My Ben & Jerry's (thunder thighs) are just in love with each other too much, and apparently starving for something to eat, so they decided to suck up my shorts the whole race. Pretty.  Oh, which also caused some serious road rash on my thighs. I freaking hate my stupid touching thighs.

Now, if you're doing this race for speed, or for a certain 'time', fo'get'a'bout'it. There were so many people, who mostly walked the race, that you had to bob and weave, jump over, walk behind, or just straight pummel into (ok, I didn't do that, but wanted to), that you can't really even run at more than a medium pace.
That's the only thing that kinda upset me, is I wish the Color Run folks would have told everyone that if you're going to walk, stay to the right, or left. That way the 'runners' can have plenty of room to actually, I don't know, RUN! Anyways. It was still fun.

Here's a nice blurry picture of one of the color stations.
You can kinda see the blue powder stuff at the horizon. That's the color. Sorry, it's hard to take pics while trying not to face pant the concrete and get trampled.

Oh, a little explanation-station on the color. It's actually some sort of corn starch mixture, dyed different colors. So it's a powder, a really really fine powder. And when you run through the stations, they either use a squirt bottle filled with it and squirt you, or just grab fists of it and throw it at you. But the powder kinda comes off easy, so once you brushed your t-shirt, most of it wiped off. We got shit for color at the first 4 stations, so we went all out at the last one, which was pink, so that's cool.

At the end you run up into this big area, where you prepare for when everyone throws the color up in the air as a group. We all trudged down and got kinda in the middle and prepared for war.

Once the DJ told us it was Go Time, we ripped open our pouches of color and unleashed the fury. It was like one huge purple/blueish cloud that suffocated the life out of your lungs. Seriously, it was fun, but it was so hard to breath, and see. We kinda threw our color and and bolted to safety.
Here's some pics that Ryan took of it:

And this is the aftermath of our fierce Color Battle:

I am goooood looking. I'm surprised my husband didn't just jump me right then and there.
BTW, that color crap gets EVERYWHERE! In my ears, up my nose, maybe close to my whoo-ha....maybe. Good thing everything that I was wearing could be disposed of, if necessary.

Here's one last group photo op looking over the end of the race:
Such pretty ladies.

Overall it was a blast. We got our run on, got a little dirty, and best part is I met some amazing women that I SOOOOO wish I lived closer to. Only part I would have changed was to have my friend Lindsey there with us!!! Missed you Lindsey!!!! (Next year! Or maybe a Mud Run, or Warrior Dash.....hummmmm.)

Since this is clearly long enough, I won't bore you with what else we did this weekend in this post, which included Cajun food, meeting new friends, and a Casino.

I also need to update you about my wonderful weekend, last weekend. And by wonderful I mean I drank copious amounts of beer while painting my house in 102 degree temps. Best weekend evah! Not really.

Oh, and Magic Mike! Sadly, I'm a boob and didn't get the time right on the movie, so we couldn't see it last week. But we're going Wednesday!!! Promise!

Tune in soon for another post in my randompants life!



  1. LAURA! I LOL'd like 5 times. Sorry about the social awkwardtasticness. I blame Lindsey. :) It was so fun and I got introduced to your blog which made me giggle giggle which inspired me to write my own blog (private...more like a journal) which makes me happy. Loved meeting you and I have a feeling we shall run together again!

  2. Thank you. Glad I got to laugh in the middle of my crazy week of studying for my graduate school comprehensive exam! You are awesome. Another race, another time. :)

  3. I want a jogging buddy...oh thats right..I have to run continuously for it to be called jogging....technicality...technicality!

  4. Sounds like you had a fun time! I would think they would have more color stations than that.

  5. I will probably be in town on Wednesday. If you go to Magic Mike on Wednesday, can I please go with you? Pretty Please? I know I will never get Will to go with me to that one.

  6. The Color Run sounds like so much fun. I sold my registration at the last minute because my mom had cancer surgery earlier that week and I was so tired. I will for sure do it next year.

  7. So flippin cool! I am SOOO doing the color run next year after I get some of this weight off!

    p.s. I'm cracking up about your "hungry thighs" i'm singing it along to "hungry eyes" from dirt dancing! HAHAH!~

  8. That is so cool!! I would love to do that!!

  9. Ugh, my thighs are HONGRY, too. I hate that. I saw someone blog about some shorts that have like spandex on the inside and then the regular windbreaker material on the outside... totes prevented that. Or maybe it was you? Either way. I need a pair of THOSE.

    You looked great. I'm glad you liked it, despite the slowpokes. They were like that for me and Beth Ann when we did the Color Run, too. Not that I was up for much running anyway. I'm a lazy honey badger, so I walked alot. Oops. ;)

  10. I wondered if I should wear disposable clothing to mine next month. This helps a lot!

  11. You are not socially awkward! I should know :)

    And if I had known a body (or 10,000) could walk the Color RUN, I woulda been there. :D Fab job lady...fab job!

  12. I'm doing the color run in Phoenix next year :) I missed this year's, but I totally want to go :) :) loved the pics!


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