Monday, February 3, 2014

Day 1 of Hating Life.

As my friend Jessica pointed out, I'm reigning in my sugar situation in the month of chocolate overload.

Yup. Pretty much doomed to fail.

But I got to thinking, if I wait till V-Day is over, then it'll be Easter. And that candy aisle is just as bad as freaking V-Day. And if I wait until after Easter, then it'll be summer and the thunder thighs and mammoth badonkadonk will have to make an appearance in a bathing suit......and people will see. Those poor people's eyes.

So I'm sticking with starting today. So far I've had cereal and chili with pita bread.

And I'm about ready to gnaw my desk leg off because I'm so freaking hungry. Why is it that the minute you start to 'eat right' you think you're going to waste away and die of hunger???? Huh???? Riddle me that shit! It's like the cosmic universe's way of saying, 'This is going to suck. But I'm going to make it suck that much more by making your body seem like you've been on a fast for 39 years. And it's only been 39 minutes into your new lifestyle.' FML.

I am going to go to the gym tho. I need to get this jiggle under control. I know it's bad, that I shouldn't berate myself so, but every time I look in the mirror I am disgusted. And I know that having a baby really changes your body. But it's not even about losing weight any more. It's about muscle. I FUCKING HAVE NONE. My batwings are enormous. My ass is just one big cellulite bubble. And my waste has a fucking tire around it.

Remember pre-pregnancy I was about 150 and was bitching about losing 10 more lbs. And ya'll were like, 'You look great! You look great! You look great!'. Ya, well, I should have believed you then. I'm 167 now and I pray to the weight loss bitch every damn minute to be back at 150.

I know, I know, I'll get there. And eating right is just the first step. And it'll take awhile.

Ok. pity party for 1......over.

Time to be positive. That's my word for the year: POSITIVE.

I'm positively going to ROCK this shit.

Ready? Set? GOOOOOooooooooooooooo.


  1. It took me well into my second week of Paleo to NOT feel like I wanted to gnaw off my arm. But you get there!! Keep is up, chica!

  2. I'm off the sugar too and for about a day I was out of gum and SF mints, and I was like a smoker without cigarettes. I was ready to kill someone. Now I keep gum with me, and in every drawer of my house, just to keep me away from the girl scout cookies!

  3. Operation 150 is happening down here, too! Text me if you need to talk. :)


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