Ten Things Thursday

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccckkkkk.

Get Excited.

1. This morning, baby woke up at 4am. Went to sleep at 5am. And then my alarm went off at 5:30am. Glorious start to the day.

THEN, I get to work, and Ryan called and said we needed to check our bank account. So I logged on and I think I had a mini heart attack. We were NEGATIVE $10,000+! Yes, that's right......TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.

At first, I thought I had a major mommy brain fart and waaaaaayyyyyyy overpaid on our morgage. For some strange-ass-psycho-I-need-to-be-locked-up reason. But then I noticed it was a check, and it cleared on our account for 10,329.IthinkI'mhavingastroke dollars. I downloaded the check and it turns out that it was SOMEONE ELSE'S ACCOUNT! Someone wrote a check to Pella Windows, and it got cleared to OUR account, and not theirs.

Yes, I was a little shocked.

I called up the bank right away and got this gentleASSman that said that the two accounts were one digit off and the computer made a mistake reading it. He deposited the money taken out and basically washed his hands of the whole sitch. I asked if they were going to remove the other person's check from our account and he said no. Ummmmm, exsqueeze me????? No. He said that since he deposited the money, everything is good.

No. Everything is not good douchecanoe.

Then I asked if he was going to notify the other people that their check was put to our account and he said no. Again........WHAT?!?!?!?! This is how the convo went:

Me: You mean to tell me that someone else's check was cleared to our account, for 10 THOUSAND DOLLARS, and you're not going to inform them of this????
Asshat: No.
Me: You don't think that's an IMPORTANT SECURITY BREACH that they should know about?????
Asshat: No.
Me: Well, if this happened to me I would want to know IMMEDIATELY that my information was given to someone by accident!!!
Asshat: Well, it's no different than her just writing you a check. You'd then have her information.
Me: UMMMMMM, IT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT you Fart Licker!!!!! She didn't write me a check! She wrote Pella Windows a check! And if I wasn't an 'honest' person, I now have her bank account and all her information and could possibly use it to do very bad things! I need to speak with your supervisor!!!

Long story short, the supervisor told me that they will notify the other people, but by letter. I informed her that isn't right and I had the other person's number off their check and would be contacting them myself. I also informed her that we probably won't be banking with you any more....COMMERCE BANK JACKASSES!!!!

Can you believe that?!?!

2.  As an update to my Juice Cleanse, I'd just like y'all to know that I'm at 156.1, so I'm up about (POINT)2 lbs.  Dolphin claps for me!!!!

I've been eating pretty good. Generally having salads every day. There was one day when I had pizza, and while it was delicious. I stopped at two small slices. And I haven't thought about it since.

I am eating more chocolate. DAMN YOU CHOCOLATE!!!!! It just can't be helped. I made some pretty good cookies that have been saving my hands from shaking the vending machine to death......Skinny Banana Cookies. Check it and wreck it peeps. They're delish!

3. I haven't delved into the exercising crappness yet. But I'm working up to it.

Exactly.

I'm actually thinking about doing a push up challenge and a squat challenge.

I'm convinced that cardio isn't what I need right now, but weights are where it's at! I don't know why, but I just 'feel' it. Maybe what I feel is my batwings flapping in the wind. Who knows.

Regardless, Anyone want to do them with me???? It's only 30 days. Huh??????
Do ya?

DO YA?

DO YA?

4. Sooooooo. I've decided to get into oils. And not grease-me-up-to-slide-down-a-pole oils.

 I'm talking about essential oils silly!!!

My friend Jess messaged me awhile ago and noticed that I was having some trouble with Dillyn being sick and said that she has been using oils for a little while and hasn't taken her 1 year old to the doctor much since. She also said it's helped her in a number of ways and that I should really give it a shot.

I was a little skeptic, because 'giving it a shot' meant shelling out $150. And that's kinda a lot of money.  But then I found out my cousin was using oils so I picked her brain a little. And by little, I mean A LOT. She gave me a LOAD of info!!! I'll summarize here, but basically she has been using oils for years now. She uses them for everything! She has 3 kids and they rarely go to the DR. And she has a husband that was chronically ill, or had allergies, or something, and after using oils he hasn't been to the doctor but once a year! She is VERY involved in the church and her husband is a pastor (not saying that she tells the truth alllll time, but just to give you a reference of the type of person she is), and the fact that she was family meant I was sold on the idea! And not that I didn't believe my friend!!!! Because I totally did! But I just wanted someone else's opinion, ya know?!
Lord I hope I didn't eff that up. Because it felt like I did. Jeez, I'm a moron.

Anyways. I went ahead and got a starter kit of oils...........And WOW. Seriously. WOW.

#1: Dillyn has been constipated since birth. Poor thing just entered this world backed up. I've tried EVERYTHING! I've given her extra water during the day. I mix her formula in the morning with 1/2 prune juice and 1/2 water. I've kneaded her belly. And at the worst of times, given her a suppository. :( At first I was only giving her 1 ounce of prune juice, now it's 3. And she wasn't constipated every day before, but now it's all the time. I HATE POOP!  So, I started diffusing peppermint oil, and massaging peppermint and frankincense oil on her belly and I'm not kidding you, the kid pooped within hours. And has been pretty constant since (it's only been a few days).

#2: Dillyn is teething. Yes. Joyous times in the Wiksten household. One of the recommendations is to put Thieves on her gums. She was really fussy one evening and I thought, what the hell. I'll try it. So I mixed it with a little coconut oil and massaged her gums. Almost instantly she was smiling and laughing and playing like normal.  Yesterday, I forgot to give it to her, and her temp spiked and she's just miserable. But you better believe I gave it to her this morning! After about 10 minutes, she wasn't, lets say 'happy', but she wasn't screaming either. I call that a win.

#3: I worked my ASS off in the yard last weekend. Seriously, like from 9am-5pm on Sat. I got the garden in, flower beds planted, mulch down, etc. My back was KILLING me from bending over. You know how when you go to stand up and it's almost like your body won't let you? You just stay hunched over like some 104 year old, thinking to yourself, 'Where the hell is my cane?!!?'. And, 'Is it possible to drink a beer hunched over?', enters your mind. Ya, well, that was me. I took a shower and decided to put some Pan-Away (which is a blend of oils) on my lower back. I rubbed it in good, and probably went a little over board. I sat on the couch the rest of the night, went to bed early, and the next day I could literally jump out of bed.......if  I did that sort of thing in the mornings. But my back felt great! No pain whatsoever! I even gardened another 4 hours on Sunday!

#4: I've had this cold sore on the inside of the tip of my nose for months. I've been putting a prescribed ointment on it but it doesn't seem to ever completely go away.  I started putting frankincense on it about 3 days ago, and it's almost gone!!!

I'm not shitting you people, this stuff really works!

I'm also trying Lemon Oil on my varicose veins right now. I've only been using it a few days, so I'll let you know if I see any improvement in the next few months.

Anyway, if any one's interested in these high quality, therapeutic oils , please let me know! (Btw, the stuff you get at the natural food store probably isn't high quality or therapeutic, trust me, I thought I got some good stuff and have been using it for a year, but it didn't do shit, just smelled pretty.)
I can give you some info, or tell you where I researched: laurawiksten @ hotmail . com

5.  If you caught on to #3 above, then you know I got the garden......all the way in!!! Woop Woop!  OK, here's the breakdown:
~8 Tomato plants (4 Big Boys, 3 Roma, and 1 Cherry)
~5 Pepper plants (Jalapeno, green and yellow bells, chili, and habanero.
~1 Yellow Squash
~1 Zucchini
~9 Strawberries
~*hopefully* 8 Cucumbers
~A 4ft x 4ft area just for carrots.

I also have 4 different types of lettuce, spinach, bulb onions, green onions, basil, cilantro, rosemary, garlic, chives, chamomile, and okra.

Yup!!!! The Wiksten's are going to eat gooooood this summer!!!!

I'm so excited I could pee carrot juice!

6.  How come fingernail polish stays on your toes for decades (even though being shoved into shoes and crap all day), but if you carefully and methodically put polish on your fingernails with the utmost precision, using the best products, and taking care to try and get the longest life possible, it chips in 24 seconds???!!!!! Riddle me that shit!!!!

7.  Dillyn had her 1st swim lessons last night!!! I think I was more excited than she was. Or as Dad was. The class was small with just 4 babies, ranging from 8 months (Dillyn) to 18 months. There was another little girl there that was 9 months and just the cutest thing ever! And she was a little fish!!!

We practiced 'blowing bubbles', clapping our hands in the water, floating on our back, kicking our legs, and so much more!!! She loved every minute of it! She kept dipping her face in the water and splashing with her hands. It was so cute!

8. Pulling of the Oil UPDATE: OK, so I've been faithfully pulling oil for some time now, and I gotta tell you, I don't think I'll ever quit. But I can't decide if Ryan thinks it's a blessing that I can't talk for 20 minutes in the morning, or if it's a curse. lol
Two main things that I've noticed are:

A. I accidentally forgot to bring some when I visited the parentials, so I went two days with no oil. Farts. The next week I got a canker sore. Double farts. Normally, I have to dry out the sore, put some nasty tasting ointment on there, that ends up drying and turning into this freaky white 'skin'. Which eventually falls off, then I choke on it and end up gagging for 20 minutes. It's awesome.

Anyways, instead of doing that I thought I'd just try concentrating on really getting the oil swished on that spot for a few days and see what happens.

No bullshit, within 3 days, the sore was gone!!!!!

B. I again forgot to bring some oil when we went out of town. (I know, there's a pattern here. Just shut up.) And this last few weeks it's felt like I had a cavity in the back of my tooth. Now, I need to go to the dentist anyway, but until I can get in (or remember to actually make an appointment), I've been swishing oil around that area more, and after 2 days, the pain has gone down a TON. I still think I have a cavity and need to get it filled, but at least something is helping!!!

So, if you haven't started pulling oil, get your ass in gear and start!!!

9. I made my own dishwasher soap and laundry detergent last weekend.
Yup. I am that person now.

But it works!!! Seriously!

LINK TO RECIPE

LINK TO RECIPE

First off, the Dish Soap works PERFECT! I did put vinegar in the rinse container, so I think that helps keep the dishes shiny. I've only had a few pieces of silverware have film on them, and I just rinse them off and put them in the drawer. It's FAR less than when I was using Finish. I'm tellin' you, I bet I re-washed half the dishes when I was using that soap. I mean, what's the fricking point?!

The Laundry Soap is also good, but I wouldn't say it's amazing. It gets our clothes clean, and they smell clean and fresh. But it doesn't get out baby puke stains.....which is pretty much the entire load of laundry. But to solve this, I've just used OxiClean spray. I put it on the stains the minute I take off D's clothes, then throw it in the hamper. By the time we wash everything, it's soaked and and comes out perfect.  

BIG BONUS to both of these: They are a TON cheaper than the stuff at the store! And they last forever!

Who's the crazy one now, huh?!?!? 

Ya, not this chick!

10. It's almost the weekend!!!!!

CHEERS!

Review of The Cleansing of the Juices!

OK, so my 3rd and final day was over on Wed. Sweet baby carrots that was a tough, but an amazing 3 days.

My ending weight was 155.9, so I lost 5.2 lbs total. Now, I know this is water weight and I will most likely gain some back, and that's ok. I do know that I 'feel' better, and I know that getting all that toxic crap out of my system will help me in the long run.

Now here's my thoughts:

First of all, it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. Seriously! I pre-made all the juices the night before, that way they were ready for me to just grab and go. I set a schedule to drink them by, staggering it every 2-3 hours. And I avoided temptation......I didn't go to the store while I was hungry, or go in the kitchen at work while my co-workers so selfishly mowed down Taco Shop fried amazingness (jerks), or keep any change or money around to raid the vending machine. I was steadfast in my course to drink juice and juice alone. DRINK ALL THE JUICES!!!

BTW, I don't think I ever mentioned what I was using to make the juice. I have a Jack LaLanne juicer:

It's kinda expensive, but WORTH it!

Second, I would probably cut out caffeine about a week before starting another cleanse. I know the headache I had for those 3 days was just from that. Today I have no headache. None. And I feel fantastic. But I think not having to deal with the headache would have put me in a better mood throughout the entire process.

Third, I DO crave healthier options on food now. I made a huge salad today with lettuce, spinach, mozz cheese, Red Pepper Salsa, green onion, cucumber, and a little ranch dressing...................and OH.MY.GAWD......It was amazing I damn near licked the container clean. If I was at home I probably would have gotten more.  And it wasn't just because I haven't had solids, it really did taste amazing! And it really did satisfy my cravings.

'What is this solid substance?!?! I have not seen you in so long!!!!'

Fourth, and most important, I don't have a strong desire to eat crapfoods. I mean, don't get me wrong, I could shove a crispy, fried, flour taco in my hole right now, and then wash it down with a cupcake, but there's a bigger part of me that's like, 'Eh, I'll pass. It's not worth it.'  AND THAT, my friends, is progress.

I thought about chocolate for about 2.3 minutes right after I engulfed my salad, and was like, 'Nope, I don't need it. I'll have strawberries for a snack later.'  Last week, I totally would have sold my left tit for a kit kat. No joke. (Not that anyone would want my poor little shriveled up left acorn.)

I have noticed that I'm thinking about food more often. Like all day, I think I'm hungry when I'm not. I think this is because I was constantly drinking juice damn near all day. I truly do think I'd do better on a 6 meal-a-day plan. I'm going to work and plan toward that. It's better for my metabolism and I really think it'll curb some of my cravings.

Last, and this is probably the only negative, but I wasn't in a very good mood throughout the entire thing. I could feel the bitchyness radiating off of me. With the exception of Tuesday night,  I slept like crap, and was completely and utterly exhausted all damn day.  Today, I'm in a MUCH better mood, joking around, having fun. And I don't feel the need to crawl under my desk and have a snoozefest. This could be all a mental thing, or it could actually have some value to eating 'whole' foods, vs just juice. Eh, I'm not smart enough to figure that one out.

My plan going forward is to continue to eat healthier. Granted, I'm probably going to slip up every once in a while, but this 3 day cleanse was really a kick in the ass to eat right. I'm also going to try and work in some exercise. I've noticed that even though I'm only 5 lbs away from pre-baby weight, I'm still very flabby-McFlabberson. I still don't have a desire to run, so I'm going to start push ups, squats, sit-ups, etc. I think weights is where I need to be, vs cardio.

All in all, I'm soooo glad I did this! It's so hard to 'start' a diet and have no direction. I end up just failing and going back to eating like Jabba the Hutt. I also like the fact that this was a quick, 3-day, no hassle 'diet'. It just seemed like from the start it was an obtainable goal. Now I just need to stick with the eating healthy!!!!

Cleansing my Juices - Day 3

It is truly amazing what 3 days sans solid food can do to you!  Tuesday night, before going to bed I was still feeling a little sluggish, but I got an amazing nights sleep and I think that's going to help!

Someone woke up at 5:30, and while I didn't want to get out of bed, by the time I had her formula made, I was up-UP. Almost bright eyed and bushy tailed. Almost.

While making my juices for Day 3, I noticed that I was a little short on some veggies, so I had to combine Juices 4 & 5. Basically it's Juice 4 with coconut water added. So, I'll be spreading my intake out today to make up for it.

Day 3 Weight: 155.9
Day 3 Mood: Surprisingly cheering. I still feel like I'm having an out of body experience, but I'm in a good mood. I don't know. It's hard to explain. I'm going with the fact that I don't want to punch someone a plus.

7:30am-Juice 1:  I was actually pretty hungry at 730, so I chugged this one down. It didn't taste as 'lettuce-y' today, so I'm not sure what I did on Day 2. It was actually a little on the sweet side.

11:00am-Juice 2: This was a little spicy again today. I'm just not sure about ginger in the juice. I mean, it doesn't taste bad, it's just not my fave. I still have a headache from yesterday. It's still not terrible, just a dull pain. I haven't even taken anything for it. It'll go away eventually.

12:15pm: Started to get a little tired. Not sure if that's because I'm still off my Go-Juice of coffee, if it's because I've gone 48 hours with no carbs, or if it's because work is a lifesuck and all I want to do is repeatedly slam my head on my desk. Either way, I'm waiting for my body to snap out of it.

1:45pm-Poop Report (This is going to get a little graphic....sorry): OK, so I had another dookey, and let me tell you.....it was awesome to have a normal bowel movement. Just AWESOME! On another note, I think my body is almost tox free. I only say this because when I turned around and looked at my little turdy, it looked just like a beet!. Yes, I know. I'm waaaaayyyyyyy over sharing. But you're just going to have to deal. But seriously! It almost scared me at first. lol. Then I remembered my only intake has been good, whole, wonderful fruits and veggies (with beets, of course) for 3 days. I mean, I don't think my poo has ever looked this good!

OK, you can open your eyes, the poop report is done.

2:00pm-Juice 3: I actually forgot about getting juice, and so I went another 3 hours without anything. I just happened to be walking around and noticed that my stomach rumbled a bit. I looked at the clock and was like, Whoa! I'm surprised I'm not chewing my arm off! But really, the food cravings are gone. Not once in 3 days have I thought about chocolate, or sugar, or soda. Maybe it's because the juices are so sweet, that I'm getting my fix. However, it does seem like I think more about salty foods. Like chips and salsa, and burgers. It'll be interesting to see tomorrow when I go back to 'normal' eating, what types of food I think about.

5:00pm-Juice 4: The BeetleJuice. God I love this juice. It was a little too spicy today, because I think I mixed in some ginger. But it was still awesome. I wasn't really starving for it or anything, but could feel myself getting hungry, so I opted to chug it while running errands after work. I still feel sluggish; I'm just in this mellow mood and can't snap out of it.

5:30-7:30pm: Mad dash to clean the house, dust, vacuum, laundry, and start making supper stuffs for Friday night. All in between consoling my poor little baby because she's constipated and is really backed up. Poor thing does nothing but cry when she's awake. But luckily she napped for an hour, which let me get a lot done. Surprisingly I have a ton of energy!

7:30pm-Juice 5 (Milk): At this point I was starving. I had made a batch of my Red Pepper Salsa and all I wanted to do was bury my head in the bowl and mow it down like a pig at feeding time. But I didn't. I do have a shred of Willpower!!! I decided that I didn't want to eff around with all the cinnamon and nutmeg crap in my milk, so I just poured myself a big glass and chugged it down. God it tasted so good!!!  I was still starving all night, but I think it was the fact that I was prepping food, then thinking about food, then dreaming about food, and so on. Can't wait for tomorrow and solid foods!!!!!

The 3rd day was definitely better than the first 2, but I still didn't feel superhuman or anything. I'll do a full review tomorrow for y'all!!!

Cleansing my Juices - Day 2

Well, now. Isn't this interesting. I'm still alive. And haven't had sugar in 24+ hours. I am shocked people. SHOCKED. I for sure thought I would die if I didn't have some sort of sugarfest during the day.

I woke up feeling pretty good. Like I said yesterday, I got the shittiest night of sleep. So I wanted to stay in the covers. All.Damn.Day. But I didn't. I got up and got ready for work. Surprisingly, I wasn't starving. And I didn't feel the need for a gallon of coffee thru an IV drip. And, I kinda couldn't wait for some juice. Huh. Interesting my dear Watson, very interesting.

Day 2 Weight: 156.4
Day 2 Mood: Slightly better.....I don't want to slap a dwarf bunny rabbit or anything, but I'm still in a funk.

7:30am-Juice 1: A little strong on the romaine, but otherwise pretty good. It actually tastes better than yesterday. I don't know if it's a mind thing or what. But I thoroughly enjoyed it!

New profile pic???? 

8:30am: Que the headache. It's not throbbing, but it's just there.

10:00am-Juice 2: Extra spicy today for some reason. But very quenching! It really hit the spot! And after I finished, I found myself reaching for more. But I guzzled some water. BTW, I've been drinking LOTS of water during this. I think it helps the cravings. But I pee about every 5 seconds. lol

12:30pm-Juice 3: Pretty much same as Juice 1. My headache is still around, but I've determined it's completely due to not having any caffeine. Otherwise, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm not starving or anything, and it's kinda nice to just grab the juice and go. I'm also beginning to really like this (eating)drinking 6 times a day thang. It really keeps me more in a mellow mood. I feel like I don't have as many ups and downs. And I have ZERO cravings for sugar.

2:15pm-Poop Report (You might want to skip this paragraph if you don't care for bowel movements.  I still feel the need to post about it.) BTW, this is for you Vanessa!: Ok, so I had my first dookey since Sunday, and let me just tell you.......wow. I'm amazed people. I mean, I drop the kids off at the pool about once a day, usually, so I'm regular, but lets just say things don't seem 'right'. But my little poops today were gorgeous! If poop can be gorgeous. I mean it was probably the best number 2 I've had in a long time. And only after 1 day people! ONE DAY! Of juicing!

You know what this tells me, yup, that I eat like crap and my body hates life trying to detoxify itself.

3:00pm-Juice 4: This has become my favorite juice so far. The Beet-le-Juice. I'm serious. I could actually drink this every morning. It's sweet and smooth and just all around yummy!!! I may just plant beets in the garden next year! Woop woop!  Bad part: I got beet juice on my white shirt. Boo-city.

6:00pm-Juice 5: I actually got to drinking this late because I was talking to a friend and by the time I got home and got Dillyn settled I didn't realize it was time for juice! That's something. I hadn't had anything for 3 hours and wasn't even hungry.  I think my stomach has gotten used to me not overloading it with 50 lbs of crap every day.

7:30pm-Juice 6: This is the milk again, and I'm still not a fan. It's just that cinnamon and nutmeg don't really dissolve in fluids. Even if I shake it up, I'm still getting chunks of cinnamon that kinda make me want to heave. But I choke it down. It's still refreshing to have something other than juice at the end of the day. And I've gotta say, Almond Milk is actually pretty good. I really like it and might start drinking it regularly.

All in all I couldn't believe I got through Day 2 so easily! I thought for sure that it would get really tough by the middle of the day, but nope, I actually started feeling better!  I will say that I'm still having cravings for 'bad' stuff. For some reason, nachos sound amazing. And a cheese burger. But I'm really not interested in my normal breakfast sandwiches, and I do really want a big salad. Actually, for the most part, 'bad' foods don't sound good. Like with the nachos, it's just that I really want cucumber salsa, with some tortilla chips. And the burger, I could totally make healthier than a drive-thru version.

I have dropped about 5 lbs so far, which I know is total water weight, but at least it seems like a small victory!

We'll see how things go after Day 3. Maybe my body and cravings are changing. And maybe they will stick with the healthified foods.

Cleansing my Juices.....Day 1

Hi there sweetums!!! I know, I've been MIA. Life is a suck hole of gardening, being puked on, trying to teach Dillybean to crawl (to udder fails), and propping my eyelids open with toothpicks most days. Yes, glamorous. Don't you just crave to be me.

Speaking of cravings. Mine our like they've snorted Red Bull with a little speed mixed in. Seriously. OUT.OF.CONTROL. My ability to shove pounds upon pounds of chocolate in my mouth is amazing. I mean truly. I never knew I could eat that much chocolate and not turn into an Oompa-Loompa.....or die. And then there's the craving for the fattiest, fried, grease laden burgers on the planet. Me and the drive thru are besties. Fo'Real.

And magically, my face looks like a NY city potholed street. I can barely find enough energy to cook supper.......oh wait.......I don't have enough energy to cook, so my poor husband is starving. AND I'm a moody bitch.

Wonder if there's a connection there?!?!

Ummmmm, Me thinks so matey.

So, my lovely friends Draz and Sarah had this fabulous idea to start a cleanse. I was all skepticalpants, because, well, me likey likey sugar....but I thought I'd give it a go. We researched a bunch of different types, and we ended up going with different kinds. I decided to cleanse my juices......I mean, do a juice cleanse. hehe. (I'm sure I'm the only one giggling at myself right now. I'm weird. It's fine.) The fact that some of the symptoms of a 'toxic' body are fatigue, sugar cravings, junk food cravings, lack of interest in exercise, depression, moodiness, etc., and that a juice cleanse can help fix those.........SOLD!

This article explains a lot and is very helpful.
The idea is that when our bodies are freed from the burden of digesting solid food, they can more efficiently release the toxins swimming in our system. 

I got on the ol' Trest of Pin and found a great blog that had grocery lists, recipes, and what was good about the mixture of fruits and veggies.  I searched for other juice cleanse recipes, and they were all basically the same, but with less detail. So I went back to the first blog.  I read countless reviews and comments, and I just got inspired by how awesome everyone said it is. How after 3 days one girl actually craved veggies and fruit, and that's all she wanted to eat for weeks. And another had so much energy she started training for a marathon.  Now, I know that I'm not that lucky....or ambitious.....to have some of those glorious 'side effects', I'm just hoping that this will push me to be a little bit more healthier.

I figure, if I'm into a solid 3 days of no sugar, no junk, no booze, no nussing!, I can continue that trend of eating right, and *cross my fingers* it will push me back into exercising. Maybe it will make me crave veggies more. Maybe I will have more energy. Maybe I'll fart glittery kale for next 18 years. Who knows. (BTW, the main ingredient in the juice is Kale.....I've never drank so much kale in my life).

So, Day 1 was yesterday. Nothing but 6 different juices, all day. Nothing else. Oh the joy.
I made all the juices the night before and put them in their own individual container, that way it was easy to grab and go. I have my own juicer, which is the only way to go, so it was pretty simple.

DAY 1 REVIEW:
Starting Weight: 161
Beginning Mood: Feels like run over dog shit.

*NOTE* This is for (2) people, so I halved everything!

7:30am-Juice 1: Not bad. Actually it didn't make me gag at all.....which was surprising. I could really taste the romaine in there, and while it's weird to drink what tastes like a salad for breakfast, but it went down fairly smooth. I'm in a shitty mood because it's Monday. And all I want is a damn sausage, egg, and cheese greasetastic biscuit from McShittle. But I didn't cave. Because I have juice. Fucking stab me.

8:30am: Starting to get a little hungry. And I have a headache. And I want coffee.......LOTS AND LOTS OF COFFEE.

9:00am: I made a cup of green tea, because I can't have coffee and if I don't get some caffeine in my bloodstream soon I will go psycho.

9:15am: Realize I hate green tea and now I want to puke.

10:00am-Juice 2: Ok, this is slightly weird. The ginger adds a little spicy-spicy to it, but it's still sweet. I mean, it's drinkable, but not my favorite.  I really have to choke it down because I still feel nauseous from the damn green tea. But by the time I got half way thru, I started to feel better. And strangely I really like the spiciness of the ginger. It's like a little Spicy Asian Party in my mouth. And who wouldn't like that?!

11:30am-Holy effing monkey balls I'm starving. STARVING! I want FOOD! Real FOOD! But I stayed strong. Dolphin claps for me.

12:30pm-Juice 3: Pretty much Juice 1 with ginger. So not bad. The romaine taste with the ginger is a pleasant delight......just kidding, it's weird. So weird. But not bad. It's hard to explain. My headache is gone, and I'm starting to feel 'better'. Don't know how to describe it, but I'm not starving any more, and I'm actually looking forward to the next juice.....kinda.

3:00pm-Juice 4: Beets. Beet juice. Beet juice with ginger. (Did anyone think Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice when reading that, or was it just me?) I'm not a big fan of beets. Actually, I haven't had them in about......oh......never. But they just never appealed to me. And the fact that you put in a whopping amount of ginger in there......ummmmm, I was fully expecting the gag. Surprisingly it was sweet! Not spicy at all, and it was really, really good.  I'm not sure if my taste buds are just mocking me, or they're in deep hibernation mode because of all the good shit I'm gulping down and they're not used to it, but I'll take it!

4:00pm-Feeling very, very exhausted. It's like my brain just wants to shut down. Now this may be because I've been speed-gardening for 4 days without relaxing. Or it could be because I haven't had solid food in, like, forever. (or so it seems).

5:00pm-Juice 5: Very sweet. Very Pineapple-ey. I'm not a huge fan of pineapple, but the juice was still pretty good. I was kinda distracted by my friend Tamra and teaching her all about gardening, so that helped. My energy was back, but barely. And my mood was a little better, but I still felt sluggish.

7:30pm-Juice 6: Now, this really isn't a juice, it's Almond Milk, with cinnamon, nutmeg, and vanilla. And it was ok. Pretty strong on the cinnamon. But it's good. It's actually refreshing. Since it's not really a juice, and feels like it has more substance to it. And since I drank it before I went to bed, I think he kinda helped coat my stomach so I wasn't craving other crap.

All in all, I was pretty sluggish yesterday. I only had a slight headache in the morning, and it wasn't unbearable or anything. I was pretty surprised at myself, making it 1 whole day without caving. But truly, junk food didn't even sound good. There was one time, when Ryan was making left over jambalaya that I thought seriously about licking his plate, but I held back. I also didn't get the best nights sleep....At. All. I don't know if that had anything to do with juicing, or my body is just hating life. But oh well.

Tune in tomorrow for Day 2 Review!!!

Ten Things Thursday

Ok. Lots to talk about.

1. So remember 2 years ago, when I had eye surgery? Because I was basically blind and paying $3700 to 'fix' my eyes was completely worth it.

Yaaaaaaaaaa.

Well. About 2.4 seconds after I got pregnant, my eyes changed and required me to wear glasses.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Well, after a year of wearing glasses, I'm getting a little stabby. I mean, they were cute for about 2 minutes, but trying to exercise in them, and wearing my 'badass' side shields at work pushed me to the edge of Crankypantsville.

So I went to the eye surgery dude and 'At this time, another surgery isn't possible.'
Of course it's not.
Spank you very much.

Then, I went to a different eye dude and got contacts.

Hi, big forehead.

So, 2 years, 3700 holla for my dolla(s) later, I'm pretty much in the same boat as I was before.
Awesomesauce.

Oh well. It's not guaranteed and I knew that going in. And at least I an still sorta see without contacts or glasses. So, whatevs.

3.  It's CUCUMBER SALSA TIME!!!!

I posted this recipe on FB:
Crisp Cucumber Salsa
Note: 1/4 cup is only 16 calories! YES!!!
2 cups finely chopped seeded peeled cucumber
1/2 cup finely chopped seeded tomato
1/4 cup chopped red onion
2 Tbsp minced fresh parsley
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and chopped
4-1/2 tsp minced fresh cilantro
1 garlic clove, minced or pressed
1/4 c reduced-fat sour cream ( I would Use Greek yogurt instead of sour cream)
1-1/2 tsp lemon juice
1-1/2 tsp lime juice
1/4 tsp ground cumin
1/4 tsp seasoned salt
Tortilla chips

In a small bowl, combine the first seven ingredients. In another bowl, combine the sour cream, lemon juice, lime juice, cumin and seasoned salt. Pour over cucumber mixture and toss gently to coat. Serve immediately with chips.

 Now, my friendy Tamra made some and added Dill and Coriander (I think). Anyways, it was the bomb.com!!!!

Isn't she so sweet to pack me a little snack for lunch!!!

Well, that little snack just made me crave it. So, I had to make a HUGE batch for myself. (Which will probably last 28.I-can't-stop-eating-it minutes.)

I made it a little different though.
Here's my recipe:

Spicy Cucumber Salsa
6 Cucumbers, seeded and chopped (or shredded in a food processor)
6 Roma Tomatoes, seeded and chopped
2 Pkts Ranch Dressing Mix
1/2 Red Onion, chopped or shredded
1-2 Jalapenos, chopped
1/2-1 Bunch of Cilantro, Chopped 
2-3 T Vinegar
1-2 T Lime Juice

I shred the cucs and onions because I like the way it comes out better than chopping. But if you don't have a food processor, it kinda sucks balls to shred it by hand. So I'd just chop it.

BTW, even tho the tortilla chips are not that healthy for you, you could make your own with corn or flour tortilla's. You could also use this as a salad dressing! It's amazing over a crisp leaf lettuce salad with a little shredded cheese, spicy grilled chicken, corn and black beans!!! That's if you don't mow down the entire bowl the night you make it. Not that has ever happened to me.

It'D also be good for fish tacos!!!!

If I could figure out a way to can this to eat all year I would.
BTW, this is also the sole reason I plant about 10 cuc plants every summer......just for cuc salsa!

3.  I have exercised zilch in the last week and a half. ZILCH! WTF is wrong with me!?!?!

I was a rock star for about 5 days, then I started getting sick. Then Ryan was sick. Then I just didn't feel like working out. Or eating right, for that matter.

And then I gained back the 3 lbs that I lost while being a rock star.

This fucking revolving door of wanting to change my lifestyle and then going back to the same old crappy ways is getting old. Real old.

I'M GETTING TIRED OF YOUR SHIT, MISS LACK OF MOTIVATION!!!! That's right! I'm talking to you, ho-bag lazy ass!!!!

Sorry, just a little screaming match at my inner demons there. Nothing to be concerned about. Moving on.

I seriously need to get my shit together. I need to find out why I think it's ok to skip the gym. And why I think it's ok to eat that sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit from McShitalds every morning. My lack of motivation and unwillingness to finish ANYTHING I start is an issue. I mean, how many times on here have I 'Started Over', and then a few months later, fall off the wagon again.

By far, I think the 5 days I lasted this last time is the quickest I've jumped ship ever. It is also the most pathetic.

Now, I know it's good that I keep trying. And I know it's probably not great that I beat myself up for not sticking with it so hard. But damn it, I need SOMETHING to keep me accountable!

My wise husband, who I kind of want to kick in the ass sometimes (but in the most loving way), pointed out that I'm making promises to you all, and trying to be accountable to you, but I'm not following through. And what does that show you guys?!?! Huh??!! It shows that I'm an effing loser. UGH!

In my effort to start over, AGAIN, I'm going to take baby steps. Tonight: I WILL EXERCISE!
That's all I can do right? Take it one day at a time for now.

4. After that self-bashing bullet, we need a little happy.

Here's Miss Dillyn enjoying her carrots:

That little firecracker is amazing. She gets in these moods where everything is hilarious. And that day it was carrots. What a weirdo. Just like her mama. lol

5. My birthday is on Monday. I will be a whopping 33. I mean, 29.

6. Wanna know what I asked The Husband for my birthday? Of course you do. I asked him to make it the most romantic day ever. Ya. I'm that good people. I've been sending him emails with ideas. We'll see what happens.

And it doesn't even have to be over the top fly-me-to-Paris-for-a-candlelight-dinner-crap or anything. The other day he told me he loved me. That was enough for me! I'm so excited though I could just pee sunshine!!!

7.  I really want to eat my weight in Cadbury Creme Eggs right now. Thank you sweet baby Jesus I don't have access to those puppies 24/7 because I'd be a helluva lot more jiggly than I am now.

8. I've got the first two layers on my garden!!! I'm so freaking excited to plant veggies this year it's ridiculous.

OK. If you're slightly confused about what I mean by 'layers', here's the deets:

I do a layered garden every year. It's actually called 'Lasagna Gardening' because you layer the garden like you do lasagna. Let me be clear, it's not planting tomatoes and noodles to make lasagna. Nope, that's not it. Basically, you layer your garden with different materials, such as manure, compost, peat moss, hay, grass clippings, saw dust, fire ash, leaves, and/or soil. If you layer in the fall, it all settles over winter and you have the fluffiest and most wonderful soil to plant in evah. If you layer in the spring, your plants will do a little happy dance with all the nutrients they get from each layer, and by the end of summer, it's settled and your roots love it long time.

I've gardened this way for about 6 or so years now, and I'm telling you, it's the ONLY way to go. I don't have to rototill.......AT ALL. And after the layers settle, the next year I'll just add another layer of compost and soil and I'm ready to go! And the most important, my veggies are TO DIE FOR! I always have lots of growth, they're always huge, and they taste amazing!

The first year you do it, it can get kind of expensive, because you want about 4-8 layers, 2 inches thick each layer. And to buy all those materials is cha-CHING badabing! This year I've been lucky enough to find a lot of my materials free.
~First layer, that I put right over the grass/soil in your yard, is newspaper. Wet newspaper actually. This helps keep the weeds to a minimum and it gives the bugs something to chew thru to get to the nutrients (which, the bugs end up doing the tilling for you by chewing and digging through all the layers).
~2nd layer is a horse manure/hay mixture. We actually have a horse ranch two miles down from our home and they happen to be parents of some friends of ours (Thanks Brandy for all your shit!!!!). They have buttloads (literally) of manure just sitting waiting to find a new home. We've been given permission to come over and load up with as much as we want.  I'm betting that if you have a horse ranch near you, if you spoke to the owners, they'd be willing to give you their shit for free. Who would have thought I'd get so excited about free shit. FREE SHIT FOR EVERYONE!
~3rd layer: Leaves. Just rake your yard. Easy Peezy. And the dried, crusty leaves are the best.
~4th layer: Compost. I usually have my own compost pile that I stock full of kitchen scraps, grass clippings, leaves, dirt, coffee grounds, etc. that I use for this layer. It takes about a year to get the compost broken down enough to put in your garden, and since I didn't start my compost pile until last August, I'm shit outta luck.  BUT, I happen to have a cattle rancher friend that has been putting his cow manure/hay/feed in a compost and turning it every few months for the last few years. So he has a HEAPING pile of compost that I can get for free!!!! I've hit the shit and compost lottery!!!!
~5th layer: Peat Moss. This stuff I buy at Home Depot. It's not that expensive. And I pretty much can't find it free, so I've got to purchase it.
~6th layer: Manure. Or grass clippings. Or compost. Or top soil. Since I have unlimited Manure, I'm using it.
~7th layer: Compost. Or any of the above. I'm going to use compost as my last layer since it's nice and crumbly, it'll be perfect for seed planting.

And that's it!!!! It's a lot of work at first, but by this time next year, the soil will be like butta. I'll add two layers, compost and manure next year before planting. And maybe soil too. And keep that up every year and your veggies will love you!

9. BTW, Baby Girl was hanging outside while I was doing yard work. She was just getting in a little yoga:

As my friend Lindsey said, 'Happy Baby Pose!'

Then 20 minutes later:

Too much yoga.

10. I text my mom the above picture and wrote, 'Only my child would fall asleep outside'. And she wrote back, "You mean only OUR children. Remember Michael.". I had completely forgot, but when my brother was little, he was notorious for falling asleep ANYWHERE. There was numerous times that he fell asleep on the sidewalk! Our daycare lady would call mom and be like, 'ummmm, Michael fell asleep on the the front sidewalk again, and I didn't want to move him, so I just put a blanket over him and went inside.' LOL! Wouldn't that be hilarious, if you were driving by and just saw this 3 year old passed out on the sidewalk?!?! Mind you, this was a VERY small town in BFE Iowa, and it was in the summer. It wasn't like on the corner of Shaddyville and Hookertown in the dead of winter. So, it was hilarious. At least it is to me. I'm sure now a days child services would be called. lol.

Anyways, that little random sleeper is graduating from some Military class for the Air Force. He's been gone for 6 weeks studying his butt off and he's coming home this weekend! I'm sure his wife is counting the minutes (more because he left her with a 11 year old, 3 year old, and a 6mo old, and not because she misses him. Oh, JK, she probably misses him. A little.)

CONGRATS MIKE! WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!

Cheers y'all!!!

Pulling of the Oil: UPDATE

OK, It's been almost 2 weeks since I've been swishing freaking coconut oil in my mouth every morning. I actually can't believe it's been that long. Weird.

Anyways. Since about the 2nd day, I've been melting it each morning and going to town, usually when I'm getting ready for work. MELTING IS THE KEY!! I don't think I could do it any other way. And truly it's just like swishing saliva in your mouth.

Another KEY is that I do it when I'm getting ready. Keeping busy kinda makes me forget I'm swishing.
Best is this scenario:
1. Wake up.
2. Slam the alarm clock across the room.
3. Roll outta bed and with one eye barely open, put a Tablespoon of oil in a dish and micro for 20 sec.
4. Insert oil in mouth.
5. Swish, swish, swishy-swish.
6. Zombie-walk into the bath and get in the shower
7. Spend a good 5 min under scalding water in order to be able to open both eyes like a normal person.
8. Get out of the shower, get dressed and comb hair.
9. Check the timer: 8-10 minutes to go.
10. Put on my face.
11. Blow-dry my hair
12. Check timer: 2 minutes to go.
13. Put on deodorant & perfume.
14. Put on shoes.
15. Check timer: 20 sec.
16. Spit. (In the trash)
17. Swish with warm water.
18. Brush teeth. AND DONE!

And that's it!

I've done it every day except for one day last weekend when I forgot.

So far, here's what I've noticed:

A. My teeth appear to be whiter. But nothing that's shockingly Ross-from-Friends-white. But I bet if I keep it up, they might continue to whiten.

B. I have about zero gingivitis and gum bleeding! For the last 15 years, no matter what I do, I've always gotten sore and bleeding gums, once a month (around mother nature's little present time). I've gone to the dentist and they've said that my gums are perfectly healthy. It's just weird. But the last 2 weeks I haven't had any sore gums! It's crazy. And awesome! The only thing I've done different is oil pulling, so that's gotta be the solution!

C. My skin appears to be clearer. I always have a little acne. Mainly because I can't keep my greasy hands off my face. But I have noticed that my face is clearer. I still have a few pimples here and there, but overall, it's better than what it was before I started oil pulling.  My face seems smoother too. Don't know if it's related to the oil or what. But it's definitely smoother.

D. ***MOST IMPORTANT*** (I know this is the real review you've been waiting for) So, I 'happened' to drink a little too much last Friday night (I swear it wasn't on purpose, it was strictly for the oil pulling experimentation) and woke up Sat with a barely-there-mosquito-sized hangover!!!! I mean, it wasn't completely nothing. I had a little headache and that's about it. I felt good, and even energetic. At least, much more than normal.  Now, this completely could be a fluke. But I'm going to be a believer and say that it's all in the oil pulling, baby!

DAY 1

DAY 14

I know the lighting is different, and you can't really tell a difference, but I thought I'd just post selfies for shits and giggles.
You're welcome.

All in all, I think there's major benefits to oil pulling, and since it doesn't really interfere with my life too much, I'm going to continue to do it.

Cheers to me!

Have a great day buttercups!