But I gotta write about this tonight. If y'all don't know it yet, i'm a redneck hillbilly princess and my husband is the typical I Am Man Here Me Roar.....With My Really Big Gun (or bow and arrow)....It's Hunting Season And I Will Paint My Face And Spray Deer Urine On Myself And Dominate That Wildlife.....kind of guy.
I'm so proud.
So this is just a small example of what my life is like during the much anticipated 'meat gathering' season:
Last night......I'm lying in bed and my dear sweet husband comes up from the basement carrying a bright pink bikini shaped pair of funderwear and some very small barely cover my toe slip-on socks (you know, the kind you wear where you don't want your socks to show in a pair of Toms or ballet slippers, type of socks).
He says, "Well, SOOOoooooomehow a pair of girly panties and baby socks ended up in my Scent Free Hunting Laundry. So now you have some delicates that smell like 'earth'. You're welcome."
Me, "Bawahahahahaha!!!!!!!!" And then I proceed to giggle and cackle for about 10 minutes. Because clearly his tone of voice is like magically my delicates being washed with his hunting garments ended up decimating his poor, poor camo. And I find that hilarious.
Normal household problems.
Well, it gets better.
Tonight, as we just got back from stuffing our holes full of Japanese Steak House creations, I'm shimming out of my now not-so-skinny tights and shirt, fully preparing to put on my fatpants. I know, I'm sexy and I know it. Don't hate.
And behind me, my husband makes this comment, "Ohhhhhh, I see you wore the Earth Scent funderwear tonight. Nice."
Me, "Well, what the hell is Earth Scent anyway.....I mean, what exactly does your Scent Free/Earth Scent laundry detergent smell like?" Because lets be honest folks, after finding out that this pair of funderwear made it through a load of camo laundry, I'm not about to shove my nose in the butt of the cloth and take a big wif.
Husband, "Oh you know, it smells like earth. Like dirt or soil.......basically dirt."
Me, "Awesome. Just awesome."
I wear dirt smelling funderwear. And my husband.....I think....is now the proud one in our marriage.
Oh.My.God.
You can not make this shit up people.
A journey to beautification and a healthier me......plus my love of beer!
Um, I hate that earth scented stuff. It doesn't just smell like dirt -- it smells like the dirt farted. My dad was always such a bitchy little girl about smells during huntin' season. He would pout if my Mom burned a scented candle in the house bc it might "contaminate" his hunting gear. But when they bring home a big ol' buck or a hog --- totally worth it.
ReplyDeleteRemember a long time ago when I posted that my brother took a shower in Rambo's bathroom and came out with dirt smelling hair cuz he used Rambo's dirt shampoo. I laughed so hard I cried.
ReplyDeleteYou know you showered in that stuff the night you met him. It's why he was so attracted to you! LOL
ReplyDeleteGo on with your little earth-scented self! Woohoo!
ReplyDeleteSeriously? Earth scented washing powder?
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up xx
I am dying laughing at this. So glad Will is not that hunting crazy. I could not handle dirt scented underwear. Haha.
ReplyDelete