Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Ten Things Thursday

Yes, I know it's Wednesday, but I have autofill and I'm too lazy to change Thursday to Wednesday. So, let's just pretend it's Thursday.

And I would just upload this on the real Thursday, but we all know I'm going to be elbows deep in some pun'kin pie at about 8am. No time for posting silly bloggings when there's desert around.

This TTT is going to be dedicated to those things I'm thankful for.

1.  I'm am truly, ecstatically, and unapologetically thankful for stretchy pants. Seriously y'all. How in the world did we live sans stretchy pants and sweater dresses before last year?  Oh wait. Well, maybe it's not just last year, maybe that's just me. Yes, I didn't discover stretchy pants and sweater dresses until last year. I'm slow. But thank God when my friendy Jordan was all, "OHHHHH, you GOTTA get you a pair of tights and a sweater dress. Girl, it feels like you're wearing PJs all day long. Amazing!!"


And tomorrow, bring on the stretchy pants and babydoll shirt that covers my growing pooper and protruding tummy.
LOOK OUT......

2. I was going to write something else here, but my esteemed co-worker and friend just emailed me this video (because clearly she has nothing else to do at work), and now I've lost all train of thought because I think I just peed myself laughing so hard.

I'm thankful for this video. And I guess Rebecca for finding it.

3.  I'm thankful for my mother.

Not only do I come home at random times and some of those times she drinks that monstrous beverage (which makes a daughter proud), but she also hosts the coolest Thanksgiving every year.

What more could you ask for than 40 people crammed together around 2 turkeys, a ham, 2 tables of deserts, enough mashed potatoes to feed South America, 18 coolers full of booze, but you also get to shoot guns. In a dress.
I guess the stretchy pants are a reoccurring theme on Thanksgiving, being that this was just last year. Awesome.
 Can't wait to see what kind of redneckery (it's a word) will happen this Thanksgiving.

4.  I'd also like to give thanks to the lovely person that invented the Pizza Taco. I bow down to you.

For those of you that don't have the luck to live in Pratt or Wichita, Kansas, #1 thank those lucky stars for not living in BFE, but #2 you will never get to experience this phenomenal heart attach in a basket.
I think I've just found heaven. In a basket.

A Pizza Taco is glorious concoction of two of the major (and most important) food groups: Italian and Mexican. It's a thin pizza-like crust layered with sausage (or chicken), grease, pizza sauce, cheese, grease, and lettuce, folded like a taco, ready for you to top it with 5 different types of sauces (hot, medium, jalapeno ranch, bbq, and dijon mustard). It comes with fresh pico and a cup of queso. Are you hungry for one yet?

And that thing behind the Pizza Taco, in the picture, is a Pizza Raft or something. Basically pizza crust with sauce, sauerkraut, and sausage links. Not a fan. Sauerkraut=vomit. But the husband is a huge fan. Which is awesome.

5.  I am soooooo sososo thankful for my 'child'. I don't know what I would do without him.

How can you NOT be thankful for that cute face?!

6.   Thank you Beer. For being you. And my friend. And tasting so delicious. For many many moons.

I know y'all are not shocked to see me thank beer. Not shocked at all.

6.  A big warm Thank You to Pinterest. Without you I wouldn't be able to spend hours and hours every day scouring the interwebs about home remedies for shiny hair, how to lose 37 lbs while stuffing my hole with donuts, and how to make unlimited scrumptious alcoholic beverages that make me seem like I'm an alchy, instead of completing the countless tasks that have to get done right this minute. Way to aid in my procrastination problem.

7. Thank you to my KSU Wildcat football players & coaches. You have had an amazing season and don't think for one minute that your small and insignificant loss to that shitty Baylor team means that us KSU fans aren't still very very proud of you!

Also, thank you for losing that game because if you would have won and ended up going to the National Championship, I would have been forced to drop thousands of dollars to fly down and cheer you on in Miami. And I really don't have thousands of dollars. So I'm glad that I won't be bankrupt because of a Bowl Game this year.

8.  Thank you Mr. Reynolds.
For looking like this:

You always manage to make a bad day into a good one. I have no idea why.

9.  Thank you to my elastic jeans. And the 2 pairs of old jeans that are a size too big. Without you these last couple of fatweeks I would have nothing to wear. At all. Well, besides sweatpants. And I'm pretty sure work wouldn't care for me looking like a homeless slob on the job.

And to go along with this: Thank you to every Kit Kat, Little Debbie Cupcake, McDonald's french fries, glazed donut and unlimited hot chocolate packets the last couple weeks, for being there for me when I have nothing else to do but shove my face full of fatty goodness. Thanks a lot. Now my pooper is extraordinarily large, my face is puffy, and I, again, despise myself for my bad eating habits. Bring on America's Fattest Holiday! I'm primed and ready to go!

10. And last but definitely not least. I thank my amazing husband, Ryan. You have been my best friend, a shoulder to cry on, and always there to make me laugh. You should get a gigantic sparkly camo covered trophy for putting up with my batshit crazy mood swings, agonizing stubbornness, intermittent bitchiness, bad habits, laziness, forgetfulness, ditziness, and the overall shitstorm that are my day to day mental thoughts.  You are my lovah!  I am so lucky to have you!

You're just so sexy when you shoot your bow.

One last Thank You, but I won't make it number 11 because I'm OCD and don't like odd numbers, is thank y'all for reading this shit. Truly, your comments and friendship have been one of the best things that has ever happened to me. You ROCK!!!

OK, this is the last thing. Promise.
If that doesn't scream my family's Thanksgiving, I don't know what does.

Have a great holiday y'all!!!



  1. hahaha! By stretchy pants do you mean leggings?? You are too funny, I love that pic of your mom! Happy Turkey Day, eat it up!

  2. This post is sooooo full of love I cannot even stand it. First...there is several pictures of Wyatt.

    Second, there is talk of Wine and Turkey Basting...I about snorted said wine out my nose when I read that.

    Second. 0:20 on that red panda video. I'm seriously cracking up just thinking of that little guy. That made my F*cking day girly.

    *heart u and your sweater dress wearin, gun totin self*

    Oh and 17, RR is HAWT I tell you. Yes, you know but I had to say it again.

    Oh and 18...0:20 is STILL crackin me up.

    Oh...and /swoon wyatt (again)
    That is all.

  3. Happy thanksgiving!!! Super J of your celebration - shooting guns in a dress - gangsta!

  4. lol--loved it! Hope you had a raging thanksgiving and loved seeing you shoot in a dress! seriously, are there any women there except you mom and you! Men Men Men!

  5. I am thankful you are my friend! I also think your family and my family should have Thanksgiving together sometime. Although, that might be too much awesome in one place, and the cops might get called, and someone might drink themselves to death. This year was complete with wine, games, wine, food, wine, screaming about the games, wine, and proclaiming we are too drunk to play the games anymore. Oh and 5 dogs running around my parents house. Good times! Happy Thanksgiving!

  6. Happy thanksgiving lovin Wyatt and welcome to the gun show baby.


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