I miss writing. I don't get to it often enough. And that sucks donkey balls.
I had an aunt & uncle last weekend just praise my blog and writing style, and I was like, 'Huh, I really need to get back into it.' (Thanks Jeannie & Larry, by the way!!!)
So, lets see. What's been going on with me? Well, I went to the lake last weekend and decided to change my name to Fatricia McFatterson. Yup. And the title of this blog may be changed to Beer, Dogs, More Beer, Baby, and My Ass Is The Size Of Canada.
Ok, not really.
I do need to get my ass in shape.......again. I've been doing a lot of thinking about body image and getting in shape, or being in shape. And I'll tell ya, I've always wanted to get in shape for selfish reasons. I wanted to look pretty. I wanted to be noticed for a pretty, slim face, or a nice ass, or a trim waist. I could have given two small rabbit turds if getting healthier made me live longer, or feel better (on the outside or inside), or whatever.
And still, right now, I want to lose weight to look better. But there's another reason I've been thinking about getting healthier (again)......for my daughter.
I keep thinking that all I want her to eat is good, nutritious, organic, healthy meals. I make all her food, and if I have to buy it, I make sure it's as clean and organic as possible. She RARELY gets anything that's not organic or is processed. And I'm not doing that to 'slim' her down for shit's sake. I'm doing it because I want her to have healthy eating habits when she's older! So, why can't I treat myself the same!? Riddle me that shit.
The other issue is body image. Do I really want her to grow up and have the mind set that I and so many other women do???? That we're all supposed to look like those skinnyass tooth picks in the magazines????Fuck no. I'm a decent sized 8/10, 160lb, 5'8" woman, that happens to have a slightly large badonkadonk, batwings straight from Hell, and thunder thighs that could scare a small child if it got close enough. Seriously, I resemble a T-Rex with little hands and a giant lower half. Screw 'pear shaped'.....it should be called mammoth T-Rex shaped. Or maybe I should say I'm from the Tribe of My-T-Rex-Ass-Blocked-Out-The-Sun-And-Killed-All-The-Dinosaurs.
OK, moving on.
Basically, I'm not super unhealthy. However, I would say I'm average. I eat semi-decent (most of the time), and I work my ass off being a mom (which sometimes requires me to stand for 22.mybackhateslife hours), I garden (which requires bending, hauling, shoveling, etc), and I spend about 80% of my work day running around 4 buildings at the speed of a chocoholic cheetah who smells Double Stuffed Oreos in the break-room. To say I'm a loafing ass that is obese is not true. Even to say that I'm a loafing ass that is overweight is untrue. But what is true is that I am a averagely healthy normal weight woman. But I could use improvement.
I KNOW I am much more active than I used to be. I also KNOW I eat better than I used to. Am I completely fit and healthy????? Pffffftttttt....please. Hell to the no! I don't know if I'll ever make it to completely fit and healthy. I just wasn't raised that way. I wasn't raised to worry about my health. The only exercising my family did (and for the most part, still does) is 12 ounce curls 5 days a week. We ate boxed dinners, veggies came out of a can most times, and sugar loaded cereals were a staple for breakfast....lunch....or even dinner sometimes. I also use food to cope with stress, and while I know it's bad, and I want to change, that's something I'll probably deal with my whole life.
I'll always have ups and downs with my eating habits. And I'll always have ups and downs with exercise because it's not something that has EVER been a priority in my life until the last 7 years. And it's still not that high on my priority list. I mean, I think it should be, don't get me wrong. But when my daughter spends 8-9 hours a day at daycare, and then I come home to haul her off to the YMCA daycare for another hour, by the time we get home it's dinnertime and bedtime in an hour. I can't stand only spending a few hours a day with her. I can't STAND IT! So, if I have the choice of snuggling with her or the gym.....yup, it's going to be her. Every.Time. And I'm sure that will change in a few years when she gets to the point of not wanting mommy around all the time. But until then, I'm going to squeeze her every chance I get.
OK, so what am I saying here, huh?
I'm saying that I realize I'm not 100% healthy. I'm saying that I realize I'm averagely healthy, but I need improvements. But those improvements aren't going to consume my life. They're not going to be a higher priority over time with my daughter. I do want to get healthier, not because of looks or to fit some dumb image, but to prove to my daughter that you can be slightly better than averagely healthy and live a good life. I want to prove to her that being slightly better than averagely healthy is fun, doable, and not a chore (which is what I think it is....for now). But am I going to bust my ass to make it to the gym X times per a week???? Ummmm, no. Am I going to degrade myself for having a chocolate chip cookie after dinner....even if it's after every dinner for the rest of my life???? Nope. I'm truly going to take it one day at a time.
Today is a new day. I had a decent breakfast and a salad for lunch. Dillyn has swim lessons at 6pm, so I have to be at the Y anyway, I might as well work out, right? Right. I brought my work out clothes and my swim suit. I'm going to pick her up, then take her to the Y daycare, work out for an hour or so, then do lessons with her. I plan on starting my push-up and squat challenge today at the Y too. Day 1 is going to be a good one.
As for tomorrow, I have no idea. I know I need to get in the garden and weed. So that's got to get done. No time for gym. I also know I have lettuce coming up and there's no reason not to eat it all this week (and it tastes so freaking amazing that I can't help but want it every day this week!)
I know I need to have goals. I know I need some sort of plan. But for now, it's one day at a time. My major exercise goal is going to be to stick with these two 30 day challenges. And my food goal is to not buy a bag of oreos for breakfast for the next 30 days (and hopefully, forever). I'll re-evaluate everything after the 4th of July.
Easy Peezy Lemon Squeezy.
Every time I write that, I just want a Summer Beer.
So here I go. Attempt #4971 of getting healthier.
Ugh, I feel like starting over is a constant in my life! I have the exercise thing down with no problems, but the eating is my issue.ReplyDelete
Good plan for the work out and swim combo...you'll feel great!
I do feel better! It was nice to sweat it out a little!Delete