Thursday, May 24, 2012

Ten Things Thursday

Another week has passed and it's time again for randomcrap!!! This time I thought instead of listing all the random stuff that went on this week, I'd give you some random things about me, that you may not know. Enjoy.

1.  I hate gum. Yup. Fo'realz. I just can't stand it. Chewing, and chewing, and chewing. To no AVAIL!!! Ugh. It's so repetitive and you are basically accomplishing nothing. Then the gum loses it's flavor and it's like gnawing on a piece of shoe leather. That's been farted on. Seriously. If I want fresh breath, I'll take a mint please. Thank you.

2.  While I'm a pretty good photographer (Check out my stuff HERE!), I suck at drawing. If I have a picture, I can totally copy it. With a LOT of time. But if I'm just drawing out of my head, nope, can't do it. The picture will end up looking like a chicken scratched the shit out of it, while intoxicated. It's weird. You'd think I'd be fairly good, with an art background and all, but I'm not.

3.  I have a slight crush on Ryan Reynolds.

Ok, maybe you already knew that, but I wanted to put a picture on here, just to make your day.
It DID make your day, right?!?!

4.  I can't stand math. Math problems, equations, calculations, trigshittery, anything. Hate it. I can do it. Most times I can figure out the problem on my own. But generally I try to avoid math at all costs. Which just doesn't happen when you have a job that deals with figuring out percentages and calculations on degrees for instrument gauges. Complicatedstupidbullshit.

Ironic part about all this................My mom was my high school math teacher. Go figure.
Seriously. (Thank you Ducky!)
5. I lovelovelove the ocean. Love it. I don't know why God cursed me with being born in a landlocked suckhole like Kansas. I could live by the ocean, and play in the ocean, and drink fruity little drinks on my deck while looking at the ocean. Every.Damn.Day. The only time I sleep really really good is when I can hear waves crashing. So that's like once every 4 years. Cray cray huh? Since there's no chance of getting to the ocean anytime soon, I have to resort to Lakes. Kansas lakes are about as clean as a 1800s outhouse, so we go to Missouri. Table Rock to be exact. Love me some Table Rock.

6.  I have found a new obsession...........

I just never realized how freaking dynamite jello shots are!!! WhyTheFrankfurts am I just realizing this at the bombdiggity age of 31. Why? I went through college. I partied. Hard. Why were jello shots not involved?! It's a disgrace I tell you. That's ok, I shall make up for it now. With Watermelon Coconut Rum drunktasticness.

7.  I love stupid movies. Like Armageddon, and Men in Black, and Mission Impossible, and Under the Tuscan Sun. My movie style is all over the map, clearly. But I do, I like those so not good acting and completely far fetched plot movies that usually makes other people cringe. Oh, and I could lay on the couch and spend 10 hours watching movies back to back. Only hitting pause to potty and grab another beer. Uhhhhh, I haven't had one of those days in sooooo long. Needstohappensoon.

8.  I am moody. Horribly, horribly moody. Just ask my husband. I can go from bouncing off the walls like a coked up toddler with an IV drip of Mt. Dew, to wanting to crawl under the bed and die a slow and painful death to get away from the sadness. I don't know if I've always been that way, I'm sure my mom would say 'yes', but I know that I 'realized' I was like that in high school. I used to chalk it up teenage hormones, but since I'm not a teeny bopper anymore, I'm guessing it's just the way I am. 

9.  I don't think I'm funny. At least not in real life. On here I seem hilarious sometimes. I even giggle at the shit I write. But real life, na, I'm not as outgoing. I do much better when I can think about what I'm going to say and type it out. In real life I'll be talking to someone, we'll have a complete conversation about something funny and then 4 days later, the perfect knee slapping comment comes to my mind, that I wish I would have said.

And the few times I've tried to just fly by the seat of my pants and say whatever is going through my mind (that I think is just going to have them rolling on the floor laughing), I say it and get blank stares. And I'm like, 'OhhhhhhKay. Enough of that.' I then turn around and walk away. Far away. To a rock. And crawl underneath.

10.  And lastly, this isn't a random thing about myself. This is just a random thing. Don't go and get a greased up sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit for breakfast when the for the last 2 weeks all you've been eating for breakfast is a small bowl of granola or a banana. Oh, and don't wash it down with a mocha latte that was more mocha than latte. GOING.TO.PUKE.EVERYWHERE.



  1. You are hilarious. Trust the interwebs, you funny.

    I have a (admittedly vague) memory of a fundraiser for my kids' catholic school, where the jello shots were selling for $2 each - they made more money on those than they did on the auction baskets!!

    And yes, thank you for the Ryan pic. rawr!

  2. I am more spur of the moment in real life conversations. That's funny. I think it's because I need other people to create the funny, then me to just bring it up. /nod

    Weren't you the one who directed me to the jello shot site? Yumm-O

  3. I think you're freakin' hilarious! And I loved that math pin from Pinterest. Put it on FB and laughed at it for about twenty minutes! lol


  4. My husband is notorious for making his jello shots. He uses all different flavors of seems to be the most popular at our parties.

  5. oh ryan....I love you!
    I feel the opposite problem...I can have people rolling and laughing but when I blog...I find myself boring and uninteresting....hmmm maybe I am not as funny as I think in real life

  6. I saw that math cartoon last night on Stumble Upon and was LMAO.

    Just for the record.....I think your posts are hilarious so I am sure you are funny in real life!!!

  7. I have 2 weeks left in my Business Statistical Analaytics class... talk about F*CK me up the a$$!!!!! I know several people that have PURPOSELY changed their Master's degree to something else due to THIS class!! LOL I have a 93% right now but I'm holdin on by the zipper of my pants fly!!! LOL

    HOW in THE WORLD are you a year older than me and never had jello shots in college?! LOL are you going to tell me next that you've never drank jungle juice outta a trash can?!?! lol ;) jk jk

    love n hugs girl

  8. I think you are HEE-HAW hysterical! Your randomness is awesome.

    And thanks for the Mr. Reynolds eye candy..........yummy!


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