Ten Things Thursday

1.  Thanks y'all for your comments and emails about the whole 'fatherless' topic I wrote about the other day. It truly meant a lot. And you know, every time I think I'm alone in some major drama, I write about it, and realize that I'm really not alone. Sadly, many of you have/had problems with your dads too. I know that sucks donkey balls, but at the same time, I didn't feel like  I was the only one out there. So thanks. I heart you guys so much!

2.  So, remember we went and looked at houses last Sat? Well, one of them we really, really, really, REEEEEEEEALLY like.

WINDOWS!!!! EVERYWHERE!!!! I love it!

There are a few drawbacks. First, the deck right there looks out over the lagoon. If you're not familiar with lagoons, it's where your poops go to die. If you live in the country. It doesn't stink or anything, it just looks like a small, dried up pond. But still, it's just not pretty. So we're looking into how much it'd cost to put in a septic tank. Also, it's a little close to the highway, and you can hear it, but it's muffled. The land is also only 4.4 acres, and we're really looking for 10.

BUT! Other than those small things, everything is perfect. The land is mostly creek (pronounced crick, in KS, lol) The house was built in 2007, it's got a huge walk out basement. Tons of storage. The upstairs bedrooms are pretty small, but our kids will be up there, and who gives a shit if they have small bedrooms. I mean really, I shared a bedroom most of my childhood with my brother. I would have much preferred a small bedroom all to myself!

When we went to look at it, there was about 14 inches of snow on the ground, so we weren't able to really see the property. We're hoping in the next couple weeks things will melt and we can go back out.

We also met with a realtor, and our house will be going on the market in a few weeks!!! EEeeeeeeekkk.

I'd just like to point out I loath moving. Like, seriously, hate it more than being at a polka music concert stone sober. Well, I'd still hate polka if I was drunk. But, you get the point. So when we get to that point in all this, I'm just going to apologize for myself now. Because I'm going to be one raving bitch.

3.  Last weekend was a big weekend. We smoked our first whole Turkey on our Traeger grill!
It.Was.Fantastic!
Ryan injected it with a buttery jalapeno juice concoction thing, and then we rubbed the outside with cajun seasonings.
Hands down the juiciest turkey I've ever eaten.

Injecting the turkey. Lord I love a man  in an apron!

Cooking, carving, and finished product!!!

Our neighbor has now challenged us to Traeger Turkey Smoking War.
May the best breast win Brad........... may the best breast win.

4.  Ummmmmmm, ya. This happened yesterday:

I not only smell like a nursing home (with the Vaporub I'm using), but this just seals the deal.............
Pregnancy turns you into old saggy smelly tits.
They don't tell you that in the pregnancy books! Rude.

5.  Y'all would be proud of me.
I walked right on by this the other day without loading up my arms:

However, I was not so lucky when I stumbled upon a trough of Cadbury Creme Eggs.
Those f*ckers get me every time.

6.  I have yet to get back into the gym thing. I blame the plague. It's a bitch. Maybe next week.

More like EVERYday.

7. I really want some Nerds.
The candy, I mean.

8.  I'm getting my Conceal & Carry license in a few weeks. Or, I'm taking the class to get my license anyway. With my hubby. We're taking it together, with a bunch of other peeps. Yup. You know what this means. I need to find some cute little purple sparkly gun. Not that I would carry it around with me all the time or anything, but it'd still be badass to have one.

The class is going to be 8 hours long. EIGHT.FREAKING.HOURS. To learn about concealing a handgun. My ass already hurts just thinking about it.
Do you think my husband would divorce me if I brought my Coccyx Cushion????

9. Look at all these poses I found of Dogs and Newborns.
I swear, our baby is going to be the most photographed kid west of the Mississippi.

That last one is my favorite! I hope we can get something like that with Wyatt!!! Because you know he's going to be all Mr. Sadpants McGee when we bring the 'new baby' home. lol

10.  You know what I haven't posted about in a long, long, longlonglonglong ass time????
This sexy beast:

Ahhhh, he's a blogger.........

You're welcome ladies.

Cheers!!!

I've wanted to write about this for weeks now,

......but the words just haven't come. But I know that if I continue to hold things in, there's not enough Zoloft in Carebear Land to keep me out of a padded cell. So I'm just going to spew a little. Because I need to get this out. Because this is what this blog is for. Because this will make me feel better. And because you guys are the best listeners ever. And my good friends. Who will support me in this hardship.

Unfortunately I can't go into great detail, because, well, I don't think I should. But I can give you all the basics.
And grab a cold beverage and a butt cushion, this is going to be long.

I don't talk a lot about my (biological) dad on here, for good reasons. He hasn't been the best 'father' to me. Actually, he's never really been a 'father'. He's been a grown up drinking buddy. That's about it. My REAL dad was Mike, who married my mom in '95 (or so), and died from cancer a few years ago. He was in my life for 15 years and he was the best dad a girl could ask for.....even though we shared no blood.

I've learned over the years that blood doesn't make family, being there for each other makes family.

That's not to say I didn't have a relationship with Martin (my bio dad), because I did. We got along, as friends. We'd take trips together, and spend time together, and he taught me all I need to know on how to build houses, which is a priceless lesson that I still thank him for. He was just never around for the 'hard' dad stuff. Like paying for some of my college, disciplining me, being there for me when I needed him (and it didn't benefit him in some way). Anyways, I accepted that he was just a certain type of person, that couldn't love unconditionally. He was selfish and untrustworthy. No matter what I did, I couldn't change him, so I just gave up trying to.

When I visited Martin and his wife Jo for Christmas this year, I knew something was different. With them. (This would be his 3rd marriage, btw.) I didn't push anything, because well, it's Christmas, and a happy time, and blah blah blahshitty blah.  A few weeks after Christmas I learned almost the whole story, or the majority of it. Martin and Jo were having problems. Martin works out of town a lot. He wasn't being very husbandly to Jo, and was starting to get mean and irritable.

Classic signs that he's bored with this marriage and wants to move on. I knew it. Right away.

And my heart ached for Jo. I love her. Just like my biological mom. She's a wonderful, beautiful, kind, and compassionate women. She's amazing. And she deserves a better marriage. A better husband. She said they were working on things, and she had hope in her voice that everything would work out. But I knew better.

When Martin decided to propose to Jo, almost 10 or 11 years ago (i think), I informed him that this would be the last marriage I attended for him. This was the last 'step'siblings & 'step'mother that I would get to know and love (btw, I hate that word 'step'). That he had to make this one work. He couldn't get bored (like he did with his previous two), he couldn't stray. He had to stay fast. He had to love. He had to grow up & be a big boy. He understood my terms and promised me that Jo knew everything about his past marriages and life. The good, bad, and the really, really ugly. And that he would love her for eternity. And I trusted him. This one last time.

The time came that Martin had to finally fess up to me that his marriage to Jo was ending. This was about a month ago. He called me one night and informed me that he was moving out. And had a house rented in another city, where his office is located. He said that they just couldn't make it work any longer, and couldn't get past things that were said by both parties. He made excuses. He tried to place blame on anyone but himself.

And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

He had done to Jo what he'd done on his previous two marriage. He'd done what he promised me that he would never do again. He was disloyal and dishonest. He was the same ol' Martin. Nothing had changed. He hadn't changed. He had no intention 10 years ago to keep his promises to Jo. Because he still hadn't worked out the demons that caused his previous marriages to fail.

And let me tell you, if you haven't guessed, the failures WERE NOT the women's fault. AT ALL. It was all Martin. Every last detail of it. He ruined those marriages. He's the failure. Not those wonderful, sweet, kind, loving women.

I know this is getting long. And you're probably like, WTF?!?!, but I promise I'm almost done.

So, anyway, the night Martin told me he was moving out, I very sternly and aggressively informed him that he did not keep his promise to me or Jo. That he let me down, again. And that I couldn't have him involved in my life or my baby's life. I told him that I wanted no more contact with him, and he is not to contact me. If the baby grows up and wants to get to know him, that is their right. But they will not know him before that. I told him that I pick Jo on this. She is my family, and always will be. But he no longer has the privilege of being called 'family'. After I was done saying everything, I asked him if he understood me, he replied 'Yes', and I hung up the phone. I haven't talked to him since.

I'm not upset about 'losing' him. I'm not even hurt about it in the slightest. What I am upset about is what he did to this family....yet again. What he did to Jo. And the worst part about this, even though I never considered him a 'father', I now feel like I have no father. I lost Mike, which I still struggle with. And now I've disowned Martin.

I have no Dad.
I'm fatherless.

And it hurts. Really bad.
Like I said, it's not the fact of 'losing' Martin. It's just the idea in general that now I have no father. Ya know? I have no one to call 'Dad' anymore. I can't call up someone and say, 'Hey Dad, whatcha doin?'. 

It just isn't natural. There should be someone. I deserve someone. I deserve a good Dad!

I just am not dealing well with this, at all. I'm trying. But it's so difficult. It reminds me of losing Mike, and that just brings up a shit ton of old demons. Which just makes it that much worse.

I mean, I have Ryan's dad. And I have Mom's boyfriend Hardy. I do have male figures in my life. My baby will have Grandpa's. But it's just not the same. I love Cliff and Hardy, but letting my guard down now to let them fully in is tough. Everyone that I've done that to, with the exception of Ryan, has hurt me or left me.

How do I get past this?
How do I move on?
How do I come to terms with this?

Those are the questions that I need answered. And I know I have those answers, somewhere deep down inside me. But for whatever reason, my brain can't focus on them.

I think I just need time. More time. Time helps. Helps ease the pain.
Yes, time, and counseling. (Which I'm getting.)

Sorry, I know this was horribly long and super priest confessional-like, but I just needed to vent.
It helps.
To write.
So thanks for reading.

Pregnancy - WEEK 14 (Feb 18th – 24th)

Wow. Hot mess in that pic. And check the batwings. Holy shitballs.

Well, there’s been some new ‘things’ going on this week. But first, let’s start with the old shit. My tailbone still feels like a hot mess. It’s ok if I stay at home in bed all day, but the minute I come to work…..pain in the ass. Literally. I think I should just stay home the rest of this pregnancy. What do y’all think?!?!

Pregnancy brain is still a’happenin’. And it’s awesome. I’ve got my co-workers covering for me though. I basically explained to them to not trust a single word that shoots out of my mouth, and to question any instructions I give to them. So far we’ve been rockin’ this ditziness like a mo' fo' and most of our work has come out ok. At home….well, that’s a whole other story. Poor hubby.

OH, and your comments about pregnancy brain turning into to mommy brain just freak me the f*ck out. Thanks a lot. Lol.

Another thing that's kicked up a notch is the................... wait for it..............................
 flatulence.
Yup, I'm a little gassy.
And let me tell you how thrilled I am about this. 
Gassy & sassy.
That's me.
And proud of it.

OK, new thing that’s going on is that I’ve lost 6lbs. By my scale, I gained 10 lbs my first trimester, and while I wasn’t concerned last week with losing 3 of those lbs, this week when another 3 fell off the scale, I got a little worried. (Is that not the biggest bullshit I’ve ever written?!?!  I mean, shitballs, I’m WORRIED about losing weight. Christ. I feel like I’m not even ME. It’s like my body’s been taken over by aliens. But the alien is this little person the size of an orange. Not that I’m calling my baby an alien. Shitballs again, just ignore me. Ignore this whole paragraph. Ugh.) So I called the doctor, and his nurse said, and I quote, ‘Well, since you gained a significant amount of weight your first trimester, and the fact that you’re not eating all that chocolate like you did then, I’d say you’re fine. You’re just getting back to a normal weight.’ Rude.

Bottom line is I’m grazing like a freaking high heifer all day, drinking plenty of water, laying off chocolate, and I’m losing. But it’s ok.

This whole thing is just Twilight Zone to me.

But in a freaky good way.

Some new cravings this week are salty things. Hence the Hot & Spicy pickles. Can't get enough of those little lovelies. And milk. Seriously. Pickles and milk. Gotta have it.
Kinda makes me want to vomit a little just typing that, but for some reason, it's just soooo good to me.

Other than that, the energy factor is coming back. It’s so true what they say about the 2^nd trimester, and getting your energy back. I didn’t feel like I was all that tired the first trimester (besides the no sleeping at night thing), but I have noticed recently that I can stay up later and get up earlier and I’m not a walking zombie all day. So that’s a bonus!! Especially because we’ve been getting our house ready for the market, which requires cleaning/organizing/and throwing away of a lot of useless shit that has accumulated over the last 6 years.

On a side note, I haven’t begun to look at daycare, figure out the Lamaze class BS, look at the hospital, start planning the nursery, or anything. I’ve done nothing. Nothing at all to prepare ourselves for Little Ida Wik. I think I should be worried. But I’m not. I don’t know why I'm not, but I'm not. I am getting this feeling like I need to get my large pooper in gear, because baby’s going to show up and have to sleep on the dog bed if I don’t get my shit together. And Wyatt won’t like that. Nope, won't like it one bit.

On to the baby!!!

Little one is getting bigger everyday!! Baby is about the size of a navel orange, 4.5 inches long, and weighing 2-3 ounces. And baby is starting to move around in there constantly. I can’t feel anything, but it’s doing little summersaults and everything. Go future Olympian go!!  Baby’s neck is getting longer, helping it’s head stand more erect. Baby is also growing hair on that little noggin’!!! And if it’s anything like me, will probably come out with a full head of jet black hair. Lol. Eyebrows are growing too. (And no offense to my wonderful, loving, handsome husband, but everyone take a moment and pray with me to the Baby Jesus that the baby takes my side of the eyebrow genes. Thank you.)  

4 more weeks until we find out the sex!!!

I can’t wait!!

Ten Things Thursday

OK, sorry, I know this is a day late, but we had a snow day yesterday.
And yes I realize I do have internet at my house.
But I was a loafing sloth (that's for you Lori! lol) and barely had the gumption to crawl out of bed, let alone walk 10 steps and sit down at a computer and get on the internet.
Tragic. I know.

1. Sooooo, winter decided to show up around these here parts.......in damn near spring. Typical.
Puppy likes it though.

You can't tell in this picture, but it's a blizzard.
Big 'ol fat flakes.
We even had thundersnow yesterday! Y'all know what thundersnow is? It's when it thunders during a snow storm. Very rare.
Again, typical.  That it happens in Kansas. At the end of Feb. And basically our one and only snow storm this year.

Puppy also was a big snow shoveling helper yesterday:

Looking so pretty sitting in the one little patch of clean ground.
OH, so I did do something yesterday!!! I tried to shovel. Made it about an hour, and nearly passed out. Then I went inside ate a cupcake and took a 3 hour nap.
The husband came home and shoveled the rest. Bless his sweet heart.

You can't tell real good, but the snow cleared behind him is about a foot deep. We ended up getting 14.2 inches. 2nd biggest snow storm Wichita has ever seen. La. Te. Freaking. Da.
I know this might seem like small balls compared to up north where 3 feet of snow fall every other day. But here in the flat lands, we usually get 4-6 inches per storm, and most of that is then topped with a 2 inch layer of ice. We love us some ice storms here in Kansas. Best storms ever. Makes everyone the best drivers. Ever.

Anyways. Big storm. Great rest day. Now I'm back to work. Boo.

2. I don't know why, but this made me snort-giggle so hard the other day.

Maybe it's because I just made cupcakes. And this might have happened to me.
Just snorted again.
Wait, I had to look at it again.
Yup....still snorting.

3.  Is it bad that the only vegetables that I get all day come from a jar????

I'm telling y'all.......these things are the bomb.com!!!!!
I could eat a whole jar in one sitting......not that i've done that or anything.

Sodium???? What's sodium? Never heard of it.

I'm classifying this as my 'good foods'. Because they're cucumbers. And at one time they might have been grown in the ground (more likely engineered in some lab, but pish posh), and anything from the ground is good for you.

Justification. At it's best.

4.  I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks. I've also dropped 6 lbs. I would like to point out that I gained 6 while I was exercising 5 days a week. I think this is a sign.

This weight loss/gain thang has nothing to do with the fact that I was mowing down any and all chocolate like it was the last on the face of the planet....and now I've cut back on my chocolate. Nope has nothing to do with my weight loss/gain at all.

5. Who's gettin' me this shit for summer????!!!!

Seriously.
My birthday is 43ish days away.
Get this on order.
Now.

6. Someone has a tough, tough life:

I don't know how he lives day to day in these kinds of conditions.

7.  I decided to copy-cat my friendy Sarah (because she's a badass and I want to be just like her) and finally crafted a jewelry holder the other day:

Look at all those trinkets!!! Who knew I had so many pretty things!!!
Makes a big difference when you can actually see all the shit you have to dress your earlobes up with in the morning. Instead of rummaging through a jewelry box drawer at the ass crack of dawn, with one eye closed because you're still not awake, hoping that you have two matching earrings, but come to find out they're complete opposite, so you have to do the rummage thing again, which just makes you pissy, so you eventually give up and wear no jewelry at all.
Ever happen to you?
You need an old rake.
Makes life so much less pissy.

8.  Wyatt likes to eat snow.

Like....a lot.
Every time he goes outside he looks like a cow with a coke problem, trying to snort/lick/eat up all the white stuff on the ground.
We've started calling him the Snow Eating Weener Licker.
Well, the Snow Eating part you get, and I'm sure you get the last part too. Because that's what he does. Eats snow and licks his puppy-parts.
Classsssssssss......Act.
That's my puppy.
And I heart him so much.

9.  I would really like to go home and snuggle in bed all day.
I think my co-worker gave me a cold......not mentioning any names or anything........ahemmmmALEX. And I kind of want to shank him because he's at home right now, because he doesn't have a 4x4, and I'm here. Sick.
My lungs feel like there's a walrus camped out on them.
And my head hurts.
And my body aches.....and it's not the normal preggo aches, it's sick aches. And I hate it.
Life blows.

OK. Pity part done.

10.  We're looking at 2 more houses this weekend!! One I think we're really going to like, it's got 5 acres and the house has been completely renovated. But it sits about 1/2 mile from a major highway, and I just don't know if I want to listen to semi's barrel down the road while I'm trying to enjoy a frosty beverage on the deck. Ya know?!

The other one, the land is perfect, but the house is kinda weird. Needs a little renovating, and there's not a walk out basement, which I'd really like, but other than that, it looks good!

I'm going to take some pictures, so maybe y'all can see what we're looking at!

OK, I better get going!
Have a great weekend y'all!!!
Cheers!

Pregnancy - WEEK 13 (Feb. 11 – Feb 17)

So, this week, there’s been oodles of changes going on. And most of them are a smidgen irritating. And by smidgen, I mean more annoying than wearing pants made out of duct tape while you have an ichy mosquito bite on your ass. And no, I’ve never worn duct tape pants before. But I totally have a cousin that dressed up as Duct Tape Man for Halloween once. I think I have a picture somewhere…..I shall have to unearth that piece of gold.

Anyways. The first little ‘pregnancy symptom’ that graced me this week, was a hurt tailbone. You know how you’re shitcan wasted, and stumbling in the bar district of your college hometown, and it just happened to ice about 2 inches? You can barely walk as it is, but with ice, it’s like the freaking Olympics are happening to try and cross the street. But then it happens, you hit a patch of black ice and fall straight on your tailbone….in front of a whole fraternity group. Has that ever happened to you??? No?? Ya, me either. But that’s basically what my tailbone feels like ALL.FREAKING.DAY.

My chiropractor dude refers to it as relaxin or some bullshit like that. Personally, I think Mr. Relaxin is not relaxin’ at all. If fact, he’s a big asshole. Said asshole hormone is also affecting my neck, which causes it to go ‘out’, and then I have a headache all day long. Apparently this relaxin hormone is what makes all your joints loosen up and move, it’s supposed to help your lady parts area with pushing out a watermelon. but it affects all your joints, not just your lady parts area. Which is a special kind of awesome.

Let’s just say I’m Crankypants McGee right now.

I don’t do well with headaches. Because then they turn into migraines. And then I want to high five just about everyone I see…..with a cinder block.

So. Hurt tailbone. Check. Bad neck. Check. Headache. Check.

Oh, and significantly less chocolate intake. Check.

Which makes me a tad bitchy, but it’s also slowed down my weight gain. So I guess my husband was right, and all that sugar wasn’t necessarily a good thing. Shit, did I just write my husband was right?!?!?! WTH????

That moves me on to the 4^th thing going on this week……Pregnancy Brain. Have you heard of it? Have you gone through it? Most mothers have, so they say. I think I’d rather sit in the Sahara with only Justin Beeber to listen to for 3 years than deal with me being a complete and utter ditz (well, more so than I already am). Oh Mylanta, it is soooo bad.

I can’t concentrate. I can’t focus. I forget what I’m doing. Like the other day, I had to take a solid 2 minutes and just look at my keyboard, because I didn’t know why I had a stack of papers in my hand. I knew I was getting ‘something’ from my drawer for the papers, but could not for the life of me remember what that ‘something’ was. Then it hit me……..a freaking PAPER CLIP. *Palm to forehead.*

I’ve also screwed up so much shit at work. I feel so bad for my poor employees. I keep handing them work, that really doesn’t belong to them, so they get confused, then I get confused as to why they’re confused, and finally they have to write it in crayon what the fuck is happening, because I still can’t get it.

Even though all this is irritating, it does make me laugh though. Everything that’s happening to my mind and body, I mean. It’s a constant reminder that I’m carrying a little baby inside of me. Yes, I complain, and yes, I’m cranky. But deep down inside, I still thank the Universe every day that I have all this annoying shit happening to me!

I just wanted to write that, because I know I bitch a lot, but I want y’all to know that I appreciate this pregnancy more than anything. I just need to vent sometimes. Which is what this little bloggy is all about!

Anyways, moving on to more important things…..like the BABY!

Little Wik / Baby Ida is about 3 inches long, and roughly the size of a peach!!! Can you believe it’s already 3 inches!? The baby’s head is about half the size of it’s body now, so it’s starting to be a little more proportional. The baby’s intestines are also making some major changes this week. Up until now they’ve been growing inside the umbilical cord, but now they’re moving to their more permanent address….baby’s tummy! The placenta is growing also, weighing about an ounce (at birth it’ll be about 1-2 lbs!). Baby’s vocal cords are growing too!!!

This week is the end of the first trimester! Which is completely unbelievable to me. I mean, the time is going sooo fast. I’ve started the search for daycare. And I have this feeling that its going to be a nightmare. Ugh. 

Ohhhh, another big development for our little family is that we’re looking for a new house!!!! The hubby and I have decided that our current humble abode isn’t big enough for all 4 of us (4^th being Wyatt, of course), so we’re looking to expand. And not just my ass this time!!! We’ve started the search for a real estate agent, and even looked at a house. We’d like more of a country life, obviously with a bigger home, and possibly an outbuilding or shed or something. Basically something that Ryan can make his ‘man-cave’. And then I won’t have to deal with all his hunting BS in the house!!! Hip-Hip-Hooray!!! I will say, the pickings are a little slim yet, but I’m thinking they’ll pick up here in the next month.

Wish us luck that we can get into a new home before the baby arrives!!! (That way I don’t have to do any heavy lifting! Hehehe)

That’s it for this week!!!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Drink a beer for me!

Ten Things Thursday

YA!!!! Randompants Day!!!! I miss me some randompantsness!

1.  Dear Traffic At 5:30am: I can not express to you how amazing and relaxing it is to drive to work without white knuckles and tense muscles. I have no idea why you lovely drivers are so courteous and astute at this ungodly hour, but I will take it! Unlike my usual drive time at 7:30am, where I clench the steering wheel and scream like a raging lunatic at every single moron on the road. So, I thank you. For allowing me to arrive at work with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. Instead of eyes of fury and teeth barred.

2.  Dear Mr. Juicer Machine: I love you. How I can throw in a combo of apples, lemons, and spinach in your fat little hole to spew up, and you magically squirt out the most delicious and divine concoction, is beyond me. Please never break down. Or I shall break down into a slobbery, snot-induced disaster. And that would not be pretty.

3.  Dear Overtime: Do you realize that I'm pregnant and am already so exhausted I have to take naps in my car at lunch, let alone I now have to work an extra 8 hours this week, which just makes me want to pray for a coma? Do you realize that going to bed at 7:30pm is redonkulous? Do you realize that getting up at 5:00am is a freaking crime? DO YOU?!?! I hate you. That is all.

4.  Dear Puppy: I don't know how we got graced with such an amazing pet, but we did. You make me laugh everyday with your confused and sometimes sad expressions, but you make me giggle even more when I scratch your belly and you get the biggest puppy grin on your face! I love that you cuddle with me when I ask. And it makes me so happy, to see you so ecstatic when I come home from work, that you wiggle your whole body so hard that you almost loose balance and fall down. I love it that you are clumsy and are constantly knocking your big noggin' against walls, refrigerator doors, open cabinets, etc. And what I love the most is when I'm not feeling very well and am taking a nap, you come in from outside and give me soft puppy kisses, rest your head on my chest, and finally lay down beside me on the couch, with your head propped up on the cushions, and fall asleep.

Seriously. He slept like this. Right next to me.

I love you Wyatt!!!

5.  Dear Dog-N-Jog: Thank you! Signing up for you is going to give me the motivation to get my fat chocolate overloaded ass to the gym. Not only is this a good cause that helps the organization that my parents are so passionate about, KSDS, Inc, but the organization itself is a Godsend to so many! Here's an excerpt of what KSDS does:

KSDS, Inc., formerly The Kansas Specialty Dog Service, Inc. (KSDS) is a non-profit organization dedicated to the training and placement of canine assistants to individuals with physical disabilities. KSDS, Inc. provides dogs at no cost to the individuals for one of two areas of service, guide dogs for the blind or visually impaired, or service dogs for physically disabled. KSDS, Inc. has their own breeding program consisting of Golden Retrievers, and Black and Yellow Labradors, which are specifically selected for the program based on physical background, disposition, temperament, and trainability. The puppies are sent to foster families who teach basic obedience, house and public manners, and socialization. After 12-18 months in the foster family, the puppy is returned to KSDS, Inc. for an additional 6-9 months of training before being matched for service. Because KSDS, Inc. provides these service dogs at no cost to the individuals, any donations and support, as well as those interested in being foster families, are always welcome.
KSDS tours and programs are available and are scheduled by appointment.
P.O. Box 216 124 W. 7th
Washington, KS 66968
785-325-2256

IF ANYONE WANTS TO JOIN ME IN THIS RACE......HERE IS THE LINK: http://www.vet.k-state.edu/events/dognjog/index.htm
It's in Manhattan, KS, April 6th, at 8:00am!

6. Dear Thursday: Why can't you be Friday???? That is all.

7. Dear #7: You are my lucky number. And while I have yet to win millions in the lottery while playing you, I will stand by you. Forever and ever. And thank you for filling a void in my TTT, because my brain just can't think of another random thing.

8. To All My Readers, Followers, Friends, Family, & Loved Ones: THANK YOU! Thank you for encouraging me, standing by me, loving me, being there for me, and showing me endless support. I've gone through a lot of ups and downs in my life, and I can definitely say that I would not be the person I am today without each and every one of y'all's help!!! I could never be as kind and caring as each one of you have been to me! ThankYouThankYouThankYou!!!

9.  To My Man: I love you. So much. You are my rock, my soft place to fall, my everything. You are my soul mate and I thank the Universe everyday for bringing us together.

10. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!!! 

Pregnancy - WEEK 12 (Feb 3 – Feb 10)

It’s been 3 months!! 3 MONTHS!!! Can y’all freaking believe that?!?! I sure as shit can’t. I mean, this is flying by. I need to get my fat ass in gear!

And let’s talk about said voluptuous pooper. See that in the picture?!?! Holyyyyyyyy 2 ton cupcakes people, the booty is PLUMP. To say the least. Wanna know what else is plump? Pretty much everything. My Ben & Jerry’s (thunder thighs) are getting a smidgen thicker, there is a ‘new’ tire around my middle. And my beer belly, is looking more like a drunk trucker’s pooch than a ‘bump’.

Could it be because of all the chocolate?!?!?!

Naaaaaaaaa.

 ‘Tis preposterous!!

But really, it is. Shit’s gettin’ real folks. I need to control this shoveling of all the sugar, like pronto.

So I’ve decided to cut back on the hoovering of donuts, chocolate bars, dove chocolates, extra large bags of peanut butter deliciousness M&Ms, boxes of Thin Mints, etc. There is just no need. No need at all.

But do you know how difficult it is to abstain from the one thing that you CONSTANTLY think about ALL.FUCKING.DAY.LONG?!?!?! Seriously. I can barely work sometimes because I start thinking about all the different combinations of candy bars I can get in my ice cream. It takes so much freaking effort to NOT run to the vending machine 12 times a day. It’s no damn wonder pregnant women are so freaking exhausted all the time. They spend all their energy trying to not look like an obese walrus while pregnant!!! I have solved the mystery ladies! I should write a book about this shit. I shall become a bagazillionair.  Then I could hire my own personal plastic surgeon to lypo the chocolate right outta my ass every month!! I’m a genius!

Moving on.

This week we had our 2^nd doctor appt and all is well. We got to hear Little Wik’s heartbeat!!!! (FYI, I think I've called the baby 'Little Wik' a few times now, for those of you that don't know, my husband is referred to as 'Big Wik', because, well, he's big, and our last name is Wiksten. Anyways. Thought I should explain.) Hearing the heart was so surreal. It sounded like a herd of horses galloping across a prairie. It was 162 beats per minute. I have no idea what that means. But the nurse said it was normal. Thank God.

I also saw an amazing number on the scale. And by amazing, I mean I nearly shit my stretchy pants right there on the flat chested bitch of a weighing machine. And the grand total is……169. WTF?!?!?! That’s a little high folks. But get this, it’s only 6 pounds up from my first weigh in 4 weeks prior. So that’s not bad. I only gained 6 pounds. I can deal with that.  But wanna know what the next bummer is. MY scale says that I weigh 160. A full 9 lbs less than that damn doctor scale. BUT, according to weighing myself at home, I’ve gained 10 lbs in about 6 weeks.

So, which is better? Weighing damn near 170 and only gaining 6 lbs??? Or weighing 160, but having gained 10 lbs???

Just kill me know.

 I mean, I know it’s all for the baby, and truly, my doc wasn’t all that worried about it. Hell, he didn’t even mention it. I asked about it. But it’s just so hard to wrap my brain around being the highest I’ve ever weighed in like 10 years.

I guess it’s comforting to know that weighing this much isn’t because of the troughs of booze and crates of pizza, like it was in college, it’s because of a little baby and chocolate. That’s good right? Right.

Lets switch gears to some funny things that’s happened this week. Ryan piped up the other night and is convinced that I’m sabotaging the sex of our baby by overloading on the sweets. He thinks the more sweets I eat, the better chance for the baby is to be a girl. He thinks we need to add some good ol’ meat to my diet. Steaks and burgers. Man food! So that maybe it can be a boy.

I cannot make this shit up folks.

One thing I can say about my husband is he makes me laugh. Every. Day.

(And he knows that that really doesn’t determine things. He’s just being the silly guy that he is! Lol)

Another funny is that I’ve been researching our family trees for name ideas. Well, that’s not the funny part. But what is funny are the names on my side of the family. Get ready for this:

Women: Margie, Ida, Barbara, Bernadina, Edna, Permilia, Jane, Marguerite, Dicey Lucy (seriously. was she a chef??? some mass murderer that used a clever??? what's with the 'Dicey', huh ancestors???)

Men: Valentine (no joke), George, John, Peter, Henry, Heinrich, Jefferson, Doud (wth) Edison, Frederick

What in the hell were my ancestors smoking when they named some of their kids?!?!

So, I was telling my mother all this, and she’s just dying on the phone. Laughing it up at naming our child one of these ridiculous names. So she’s come up with a nickname for the baby, until we tell her the real name we’re thinking about……..drum roll please, the nickname is....................Little Ida.

*palm to face*

Every phone call, email, text, anything, she refers to the baby as Little Ida. ‘How’s Little Ida doing today?’ ‘What’s new with Little Ida?’ ‘Hope all is well with Little Ida!’

It just makes me giggle every.single.time. God I love my mother. She has the best sense of humor.

As far as serious names for the baby, we’ve decided to not tell until the baby’s born. I would just hate to have my heart set on a name and some hoochy steal the name. There’s like 302 women pregnant and due right around the time we are, so it could happen. Actually, I guess it happened to my sister-in-law with her son. I can’t believe that people actually ‘steal’ names!! What is wrong with them?!?! So we’re keeping it secret. For now.

I will tell you that we think we have a good idea of the boys name, first and middle. But the girls name is a little up in the air. See, I had forever and ever wanted to name my daughter Arabella. I read it in a book somewhere and just fell in love with it. But, now that the time is here, I’m just not so keen on the idea. It just seems too princessy to me. And y’all know that if we have a girl, ‘princessy’ is going to be the last thing you describe her as. Since her daddy will have her knee deep in camo by the time she can walk.

So, we’re going to get a baby name book and go from there. Ryan’s been scouring the interwebs for different baby name ideas. Which I think is the cutest thing ever! So far, we’ve got nothing. But we still have 6 months. So we’re good!

And let’s talk about the little one!!! At 12 weeks the baby is about 2.5 inches long, about the size of a large plum. And weighs as much as half an ounce! Baby has doubled in size during the past 3 weeks! The fetal digestive system is beginning to flex its digestive muscle, practicing contraction movements, to help with pushing food through its digestive tract. Bone marrow is making white blood cells, which will help baby fight infection. And the pituitary gland is starting to produce hormones!! Little one is growing up fast!!!

I’m finally caught up!! This current week is Week 13 and I’ll have that update for you by this friday!!! I’m almost through with the 1^st trimester!!!