Ten Things Thursday

1.  Big news.

REALLY. BIG. NEWS.

No. I’m not pregnant. (mom)

And no, Ryan Reynolds didn’t appear at my front door last night covered in chocolate syrup.

Not that I would do anything if that ever happened, because I am a happily married woman.  To the best husband in the world. Who’s funny, and sweet, and sooo hot. And amazing. And the best husband in the world. Did I already say that? (I just know he's getting sooo tired of my RR references.)

What really happened is……. I ran a 9:00 minute mile!!!! WOOP WOOP!!! Check this badass chica out. **happy dance, happy dance **

Yes, I don’t know what got in me. It was so unbelievably nice outside, like 70 degrees (come on summer!!!) so I decided to take the little pup on a run (told ya I would Cat!). Just a shorty. Only 2.25 miles.

We started off like a bat outta hell a little strong. You would think Wyatt hadn’t run outside in years (instead of just a week ago), so he damn near pulled my shoulder out of socket before I could get him reigned in. But we continued with the demons are chasing us brisk pace for quite awhile. I don’t know if it was the nice weather, or Wyatt pulling me along, or by the grace of baby Jesus I could keep my breathing under control, but I just ran. And I ran like lightening! Serious. Lightening bolts were shooting outta my tennies and everything.

I knew we were coming up on the first mile so I glanced at my watch to see where I was at. Not that I was  trying for a fast pace, I was just wondering. And low and behold the damn thing said 8:37. WHAAA???!!! So I pushed it to the mile marker and made it in 9:00 flat.

YEAH!!! I almost broke out ‘the running man’ dance on the gravel road, just for shits and giggles. But I restrained. Maybe next time.

Instead I ran the rest of the 1.25 miles the best I could and came in at 21:45ish for the whole she-bang. Basically, 9:39 min per mile. I’LL TAKE THAT!!! That's a full minute off my regular time!!

 **Again: happy dance, happy dance **

Then puppy and I went home and took pictures of our sweaty hot messes. Just for your viewing pleasure.

Never Wyatt, never.

But clearly, I need to stop taking pictures of myself. Christ.

2. A very sad thing happened last night. Yes, very sad indeed.

I got a little too aggressive (how is that even possible) with my salad spinner and broke the handle. Now I will proceed to freak out for the next 5 days until I can buy a new one. Because washing off the lettuce and toweling or airing it dry is such an inconvenience.

Can we bow our heads and have a moment of silence, please?

Ok, that's enough of that.

BTW, this is like the 4th spinner I've broken this year.

I'm cursed.

3. I have decided that I’m a plant keeper alive-er phenomenon. I don’t water these suckers ever. And they continue to live. Call the Vatican, it's a miracle.

Nope, sorry, no water for you, for at least another 2.3 months.

4.  I have a confession to make. I have sucked gianormous donkey balls at the whole 'no smoking thing' this week. Oh yea, I did fine for about 44.34 hours, then I went out with the cousins, had beer, and my willpower just deflated like some sad saggy granny teets.

But here's the deal. I really wanna quit. I just knew this weekend we're going to be around my bestest friends in the world and that's kinda like his and I thing to share some smokes.  So. I'm going to indulge in one more weekend, break the news to him that there will be no more smoking after this....EVER...and quit FOR REAL on Monday.

I'm sorry I've let myself down and y'all down.

I deserve a bitch slap.

It's ok. Just do it.

But make it fast.

5. Ever wonder what the top canned beers are? I know you do. All the time. I know you lay awake at night, like moi, and wonder what beer in cans will make my taste buds have a little beergasm.

Well, to put your mind at ease, Esquire Magazine has put together an article stating just which ones will make your mouth quiver.

If you don't want to read the article, which I don't know why ever you wouldn't, here's a little breakdown:

And my personal favorites, just because they won because they're cheap.

There. Now you can rest at night.

6.  I don’t know what my problem is, but I have been shoving my face full of chocolate all week. Like it’s uncontrollable. Maybe I’m possessed. Yep, that’s it. Straight up Poltergeist style.

No really, I don’t know what the deal is.

I had a candy jar on my desk all week, filled with dark chocolate Easter eggs (huge mistake, I know) and I’d just take a few out here and there.

Well finally, yesterday afternoon I was like, ‘This is pathetic Laura, you’re not even hungry!!’.

But did I throw them away?

Flush them down the pooper?

Shove them down some poor schmuck's pie hole?

No. I ate the rest of the jar. By myself.

Mother. Of. Pearl.

But at least they're gone now and I won’t have any more temptations.

7.  I woke up this morning and was groggily trying to decide what to wear. Should I look like a homeless hobo or an actual professional businesswoman? To make the decision easier I asked my wonderful husband what the weather was supposed to be like today.  Because if it's going to be 70 again like yesterday, hobo it is (t-shirt and jeans), but if it's going to be chilly, I can wear a sweater and actually look like I belong in a work environment.

His reply, "It's going to be windy and cold."

I took that as, it's going to be 87 mph winds and -15 degrees.

So the professional look wins.

But I was kinda excited, because I've been wanting to wear this red turtleneck that matches my zombie eyeballs and it's been too warm to do so.

Wanna know what the temp is right now? 

53 degrees. 

And it's sunny and shit.

So now I look like a total jackass in a turtleneck. In summer type weather.

Awesome.

Such is my life.

8.  I know, I know. I need to get back on My Fitness Pal. Thanks Miss Vicky and Cat for messaging me. It's just that between my blog reading addiction, pinterest, FB, pinterest, work, pinterest, news updates, daily mile, and pinterest, I'm having a hard time finding the time.  I know, I know, it's no excuse. But I'm just not that great at tracking my foodstuffs. So, don't get peeved if I never get on there again. I'm keeping track...in my head....of what I'm shoving in my face, and I'm stopping when I'm full most days. More power to y'all that do it!!! I think it's so great. It's just not for me.

9.  OH!! I've been meaning to write about this for weeks. Thanks to Ducky (who I'm becoming a little obsessed with because she's just so fabtabulous), I've put up an email subscription thingy on my little sidebar thingy. See to the right here----> Under the 'Beer A Bitch' picture. Well, you might have to scroll a little, ok a lot, up at this point. You just put your email address in there and hit SUBMIT and then, WAALAA whenever I write a new post, it'll go straight to your email. That way you don't have to fool around with Reader or whatever. And I know I have a lot of people that just check my blog like every other minute to see if I've updated it....not naming any names.....but now you don't have to!!! My new posts will come straight to your email!!!

Pretty fancypants huh?

I've also added a Daily Mile running widget. That way you guys can see what my last run was, and how much I've run for the week. It's kinda jankity that they don't put a date on the 'last run', huh? Oh well.  Just in case you cared, you now can see those wondrous running stats.

10.  This is what happened the other morning:

Lookin' pretty comfy there on Ryan's side.

Spoiled rotten child.

Tootles Lovey's!!!