Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Day 2 of being a non-sugar shoveling bitch.

OK. We made it through day 1!

And it's even 1/2 way through day 2!

First of all, yesterday was a clusterf*ck. If I wasn't so freaking swamped at work, I probably would have eaten my desk....if it was glazed in sugary goodness. Seriously though, for someone making a major change to their diet (in other words, not mowing down mounds of candy every other minute), I did NOT pack enough crap to eat. I had my turkey sandwich and a ridiculously small cup of yogurt. I almost fainted from hunger. It was horrible. (dramatic much?!)

I was complaining about my lack of mid-afternoon candy corn shoveling session on FB when my friend and badass weight loss chick commented, "You're fine. It's food, not life."
Ooooo Chelsea, you are so right that I hate you. But not really.  ;-)
But isn't that so true!! Why let this little devil run our lives! We got bigger fish to fry!

So, despite me shriveling up and blowing away, I made it to the gym last night and powered though a hella long workout!

Magically, as if the Weight Loss Gods were listening to my cries for a workout buddy, I found a group of badass chicks at work that have been going to the YMCA 5 nights a week and doing different classes. They had a Badass Chick meeting and allowed me to participate, bless their little hearts. So this bitch BROUGHT it last night. 

I got to the gym about 30 min early, so I hopped on the conveyor belt of death and pounded out a little over a mile. It was my first 'run' since before I was pregnant....about 11 months. Whew. It was rough. But it felt soooo good!!

I then moseyed my way down to the class, which was a 30 minute Express Fitness class where you rotate on 25 different machines for a minute each, then you run a lap, and finally knock out some sit ups.

I can totally do that, right?!

So there I am, on my first machine, a 'the top of your thighs will burn like Satan's outhouse on fire' machine (I don't know what the technical term is), and I'm thinking, this isn't so bad, I can do this. Then I look at the clock and it's been 5 seconds.


Pulling out that minute was sketchy. Pretty sure I thought my legs were going to break off at the 45 second part.

Ohhhhhh, goody!!!! A bicycle machine is next! *scowl*

Then an arm machine, then an elliptical, then a leg thing again, and then I died and they buried my body behind the gym. Next to the dumpsters. And then a dog peed on my grave.

But, ohhhhh, it gets better.

I'm with two girls from work, Miss Chassity and Miss Savannah. Both awesome bitches. We're having a 'good' time, sweating it up, and the instructor is all, "10 more minutes!" What?! 10 Minutes?! I can do that, I won't die....maybe

OHhhhhhh no. Not 10 minutes. The instructor came over and was talking to us and I think Chassity, or was it Savannah...I don't know....piped up and said, "Oh, we're staying for the 2nd class too."

Ex-squeeze me?

2nd class??????

What is this'2nd' class you speak of?????

Apparently, those hard core workout bitches do 1 hour classes, and since this class was only 30 minutes, they decided to do it twice. Spank you very much. And I'm pretty sure they neglected to tell me. Rude.

Actually, I think they did tell me, but I'm blaming my weakness and patheticness (it's a word) of only wanting to do a 30 minute work out on them. It's fine.

Needless to say, my hoohaa and ass area are hurtin' today. And not because the hubby and I had a long bang-bang session either. Those damn leg torture machines are TOUGH. Especially when the measly muscles you do have are equivalent to a flamingo's legs and a squirrel's arms.

And then I wore heels today. What the f*ck is wrong with me?
Don't answer that.


Day 2 is almost done!!
Tonight is the Fierce Class at the Y.
Lord help me.......
And my hoohaa and ass area.

Look out day 3! We're comin' to get ya!


  1. Girl i wish i lived closer so i could join!! I love torture hahaha day 2 is hoing mich better than day 1 over here in Dandyland!

  2. Bang bang session??? Ha. I nearly spit water on my computer. You rock. Like hard core rock. I want to be you. Seriously.

  3. HAHA! I adore you. I wish I could describe the pain that is this detox as funnily (it's a word) as you do!!

  4. OMG - you are so funny. Good work, and good luck!

  5. Bang bang session! Lol Mattress mambo. Slap and tickle. Riding the golden pony. But- bang bang session!? Holy hell. I learned something new today.

    Rock it sister!


  6. How are you managing to get to the gym, you fantastic fitness fiend, you??? I can't get rid of my 18 month old long enough to get a decent workout, and am stuck trotting with a double stroller. Kudos to you, lady. Kudos!


I love hearing from y'all, so leave a comment!