Thursday, October 24, 2013

If you want to die, just attend the Death For Squishies Class.

In lieu of TTT, I'm re-hashing my workout last night. Enjoy.


I did a class at the Y last night called Step Circuit with my Work Out Bitches, Chassity and Savannah.

Holy poopsquares y'all.  My body is!

They might as well call the class: Death For Squishies Who Have Zero Muscle.

First of all, the class was all about stepping up on this step thing, then back down again, then over here, then over there, then turn, squat, squat again, do an A-turn (WTF is an A-turn), step up again, step back, kick your leg over your head, do a sashay (WTF again), do a jumping jack, kick your leg behind you, kick your leg in front of you, kick your leg behind you, kick your leg in front of you (kill me now), squat, squat again, lunge, lunge some more, do the damn A-turn, swing around, walk the dog (Holy WTF) around your step, A-turn, squat, lunge, and finally die.

Now, read that again, only speed-read it like that guy who used to do the Hot Wheels commercials, and you'll get an idea of what it was like. For.An.Entire.F*CKING.Hour!

Well, I lie, it wasn't an entire hour. It was 55 minutes, with 5 minutes of straight-rip-your-stomach-muscles-to-shreds Core Work.

Do you realize how hard all that is to do when you're about as coordinated as a drunk walrus trying to do a line dance choreographed by Richard Simmons?
It's F*CKING hard, people.
I only about face planted the floor 324 times. In the first 15 minutes.
And I may or may not have almost took out the poor girl next to me with an over exaggerated back kick. Poor thing.

And while I'm bent over, huffing and puffing, sweat rolling from places I didn't even know could sweat, there's Little Miss Bouncypants in the front row that did the whole class with an extra pep in her step, making it seem like she was taking a leisurely stroll through the park. Whore. I almost gave her a high the face.....with my 5lb dumbbell. But at that point I couldn't lift a feather, let alone my dumbbell. So she lives to bounce another day.

I'm pretty sure I burned at least 1000 calories. And that's not being sarcastic. I truly haven't worked out that hard..............ever. And to prove my point, I lost 1 whole pound from yesterday. I know that could be water weight and all that, but I'm pretending it's the class. Go with me on this.

Well, it's probably because I'm still sans sweets too. Basically a combo of both.

So far this week, my starting weight was 168.5. Today I weighed in at 165.9. And that was with some clothes on. 


Clearly something's working.

Even if I have to wheel around my office because it hurts too bad to get up, I WILL CONTINUE!!!
(And yes, I have been doing that. And to give you a visual, my 'office' is the size of a warehouse. So it's not like I'm wheeling around some 4ft cubical. It's fine. Completely normal. *slaps palm to face*)

**EDIT** I'm back on MyFitnessPal, so if y'all want to be friends, but user name is: laurabelle25 !!! Come find me!


  1. I love that micromachines guy!!! I'm picturing this A turn on the step. As much as the workout sucked...doesn't it feel awesome to be sore today knowing you worked your A$$ of. Proud of you chicka. Keep on strong with the no sugar too. /hearts

  2. Don't you love when the scale moves in the right direction as a result of your hard work?

    P.S. have you ever thought of doing stand up comedy? You are too funny.

  3. okaaaaayyy. creepy stalker, right here. that was you. i walked into the Y last night behind you. i saw a k-state shirt, baby car seat and your profile. but i didn't want to terrify you. and be all... hellooo oh look at your baby i'm that one blogger who lives here and you met one time lets hug what class are you going to.

    so i signed in next to you and walked away really really fast. i went to pilates, next door. your teacher had the music GOING.

    anyway. i'm creepy. i saw you. good job on the class. :)


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