Ten Things Thursday

1.  Did you know that I've been going through blogger withdrawl like it's going outta style?  Holy buckets of sweaty pink pee pees!  I HAVE MISSED YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! It's just not the same, ya know?  I feel like I was in some dark northern KS cave, pitch black, scary crawly things, and none of my little munchkins to make me all chipper and happy-go-lucky. Wow. That was random. See what freaking happens when I don't post?! Madness. All. Around.

2.  Lets get in our pretty purple bedazzled time machines and go back to the 4th of July: The weekend started off pretty good. I did get up and run on Sat. morning. I nearly got run over by another doe (what is it with four-legged woodland creatures that my husband can blow outta the sky [sorry Dawnya] that want to come out and scare the Ba-Jesus out of me??!!) and by a white mini van (stupid out of state drivers). But I made it about two miles before I wanted to crawl in the ditch and die. Missouri hills SUCK gianormous butt.  Word of advice: Never run in Missouri. It's like jogging on a rollercoaster in pea soup. Not cool, kids.

3. Continuing on with the 4th: Went skiing. It rocked. Read a whole book...on the dock...while sipping many deliciously refreshing beers. It was heaven. This is what Wyatt did, inbetween helping Ryan fish:

I give that splash a 8.5. He can do way better than that.

Then he did this for about 3 hours:

"I so tired Mom. But I'll play again if you say the magic word!"
(Magic Word: Fetch) Shhhh, don't say it....he might hear you.

4. One more 4th thing: We celebrated Ryan's 30th B-Day (even though it's not till the 14th, but what the hell).  Remember I mentioned that he was going to have a hunting themed cake? Well, the little local grocery store did freaking A--MAZ--ING! Check it:

Do you see the little, sorry Ryan I mean, BIG buck on the right and the little big hunter guy on the left? And all the little big trees and bushes. It's just so cutey patooty! I mean, Manly. Yes, dear, Super Burly Cave-Man Manly. (Draz, you gotta show this to Rambo! He'd just die.)

5. Ok, fast forward a little in our B. E. A. U. tiful time machines to last weekend.  Even though it was a sad time, my family loves, I mean LOVES, to have a good time.  And that's what my Grandpa wanted, so that's what we did. I laughed so hard at some of the stories my cousins were telling about their lives, or what we used to do when we were kids, that I was busting up!  I'm not gonna name names, but one of my cousins has a secret fear that her husband is going to leave her for a stripper named Bambi, or some shit like that. Had a full on dream about it and was completely pissed at him for hours after she woke up.  Ok, I guess you had to be there.  Well, and be there 3 sheets to the wind. Everything is funny then. This is Bern (my family's home town):

To the right.

And to the left.

There's not much behind me but residential.  There is a 4-Wheeler business and a lumber yard. But the rest are houses.  Most of the buildings have been around since my Grandpa Jim moved to Bern in the 30s. It's really the cutest little town ever.

6. Random pics at the party for my Grandpa:

Shots for Grandpa!

Aaaannddd. $140 dollars and 2 minutes later...no more Crown.

BTW, that's by brother. He normally doesn't have that of a stupid
look on his face. Normally.

That's my cousin Pat's girlfriend. Quite possibly the sweetest woman on the planet.

My cousin Corey and a good family friend Amy.

Me and my cousin Tom. He may or may not use this picture in a future political campaign.

My cousin Kaycee, Me (yes I chopped off my hair), and my cousin Jamie.
We are some good lookin' chicks! Our husbands better appreciate!

7.  I have decided that no matter if the bottle of Crown costs $40 or $140, it still tastes like hairspray and gasoline mixed together. My insides still burn 5 days later.  Oh...OHHH...we also figured out that Crown has tasted that way for my cousin Kaycee and I for a VERY long time. A certain uncle (her dad) gave us a taste of Crown and Coke when we were like 7.  Totally normal parenting skills happening in my family.

8.  Moving on.  I have become a genius. Yup, that's right. Certified. (Well, certified something.) I have figured out a extremely difficult mathematical equation...all by myself.

5 days of pizza + 7 days of beer * Crown / Chinese Food + no physical activity= FAT POOPER

Write that one down folks. Ingrain it in your memory spaces.  DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT try to accomplish this equation yourself. It results in horrible bumpy lumpy things and rolls of unmentionable goo attached to your middle and lower sections of your physical body. It's a bad bad deal. (My math teacher mother would be so proud.)

9.  I have not run in one week and three days. I will probably not have time to run this week at all, so the grand total will be two weeks and no running.  That's ok. My life is a glorified toilet flush.  Not a full force hurricane.  Not a wind wiping tornado. A toilet swirly people.  Straight up.  Work is monumentally horrible, but I'm at the point where I just break out in giggles when people talk to me. I'm pretty sure the owner of the company looked for a straight jacket all day yesterday. With no luck, mind you. There's always today. 

And I went to the local grocery store last night (one of many trips this week) and no shit, I was behind a mom, son, and daughter in the cookie/chips aisle and the boy (about 11 and definitely not at a healthy weight) picked up a box of Pepperidge Farm cookies and said (I quote), "Please can I have these, PLEEEEASE, Mom? I promise I'll eat them every morning for breakfast! PLEEEAAASSSEEEE!"  Her response (brace yourselves), "Well....if you promise."

Huh? Wha the What? Breakfast?! What the F***?

My mouth hit the floor. I had to leave the aisle I was so grossed out. And you wonder why kids are obese at age 12?! WAKE UP AMERICA!!!

Ok, I'm done.

10. Again...I want to thank you and give you the biggest bear hugs EVAH for being so wonderful to me through this time.  All your thoughts, comments and prayers.  Your emails. Everything. You guys really have helped me through a very difficult time and I know I don't email everyone to tell them thank you (mostly because I'm embarrassed that someone cares as much as you guys do), but I want you to know that I read every comment, every word, heard every prayer, and I am SO grateful. You guys are the best group of people I've ever 'met' in my entire life and I praise God every day that I got on this ridiculous website and started some crazy shenanigans...because it led me to you all!

PS: I will be MIA again for awhile. I know, I know. Wipe the tear from your cheek. It'll be OK. But, I'm so excited about it I could pee my panties.  (Can you say: LAKE?) Anyway, I will be back next week and I will catch up again on all your lovelinesses and then I won't leave for a very long time (ok, like a month). But it's fine!!  **HUGS** I will miss-miss-miss YOU!!!!