N'Awlin's Baby!!! YeeeAhhhh!

Hello my little Twinkle Dee's!!!
Oh how I've missed thee!

You missed me too. Right? Right.

Well, I have been a little traveling gypsy this last week. Complete with jingle skirt. No. Just kidding. That'd be funny though. No?
Unfortunately, last week work had to send me to New Orleans for 3 really long days. I know. Tragedy, right?  It was horrible. I had absolutely zero fun.

Right. I know y'all don't believe that for a nano-second!

I love me some N'Awlins. Booze, food, and non-stop people watching. What more could this little Kansas girl ask for?

***ALERT***

Food and Beer Porn is going to be all up in here. So be PRE.PARED!

I got to the hotel around 11:30 on Wednesday morning. It was soooo beautiful. Freaking top of the line. I completely did not fit in. But whatever.

View of the outside of the hotel.

The foyer of the hotel.
Glossy.

After checking in I had one thing and one thing only on my mind.....MUFFULETTA'S!!!
Holy olive relish! Quite possibly the best sandwich ever invented. Google it people, google it. Salami, pepperoni, ham....OLIVE OIL. Heaven!
So, I oh so gracefully catapulted my 40 lb bag into my room, grabbed my camera and was out the door in 5 minutes flat for Central Grocery in the French Quarter. (The best place to get a muffuletta!)

Feast your eye's upon this loveliness!!!
My mouth is watering. Yours?

 I got my hippo-sized little sandwich and headed to the park square. Sat on a bench and shoveled above goodness in my hole. It. Was. Bliss.

View from my shoveling expedition.

I then headed to the conference center. After all, I was there to work. And not on my chugging or shoveling skeeells. Because those two things need no improvement. I do just fine thank you very much.

After I finished my 8 miles at the conference....seriously, I wore a pedometer.....I headed back to the hotel in search of food and drink. No surprise there.

Let me introduce you to Lunch:

Shrimp Po'Boy with a BL. Nice.

Then, I wondered the streets of the Quarter taking endless pictures.

Musicians everywhere.

And why not? A juggler, on a cycle, throwing knives. Normal.

And for you Miss Dawnya!!!

I'm there. Bourbon Street. Yessssss!

All that walking had me wanting to straight up tear the leg off a chicken and start to narl it, so I wondered into the Riverside Restaurant for a little grub. And booze.

A little blackened shrimp and jambalaya action. With said booze. Delicious.

It was so amazing. SO. AMAZING. 

One thing y'all might not know about little ol' me is that I worked at a Cajun food restaurant for 6 years in college. Yes, in Kansas. It still counts people.  Why did I work at a Cajun food place for 6 years (and we're not even going to go into why I was in college that long, mmmkay)?  Because the restaurant, Hibachi Hut, has very similar food to the authentic New Orleans fare. It was the closest I could get to the real thing.  And I love me some Cajun food. Seriously. Borderline obsessed with the shit. Could eat it every day. Along with nachos. It's fine.
Moving on.

After cleaning my plate (I may or may not have licked it clean, you shall never know) I headed back out on the streets to see the night life.  Ohhhhh the night life.

You've got guys in Armani suits strolling around with Yard Margarita glasses (that would be a yard long margarita, for those that aren't alckies), bums drinking out of 16oz cans wrapped in paper bags, oh, and girls very eager to show you their tatas. No thanks ladies....no need to show me. I have no beads. I repeat, NO BEADS. Put you're clothes back on.

You know what else is on the streets of the Quarter at night.....Tarot Readers.  That's right. I said it.  And.... I did it. It's like a 'must do' when in New Orleans is to get your palm read or a tarot card reading by some scurvy semi-homeless person who burns incense and smokes more cigarettes than cracked out hooker.

I didn't learn anything life changing. Just that I need to de-stress my work life, believe in the high self esteem that apparently Dude told me I had....through the cards, mind you. And that I need to be less critical.  Well no shit Sherlock. I know all that bullshit. Tell me if I'm going to be a uber-rich celebrity with a kickass body and get to go to the moon one day. Jeeesh.

Can you read those? Nope? Me neither. But what the F is that fur??

I decided to see what sort of hole in the wall bars were within a block....stumbling....distance of my hotel.  And literally I happened to stumble upon the Storyville. It was a gift from above I tell you.

A nice bartender. No one around. Ranger game on. Pure bliss. Tony...the bartender....and I had a fantastic time of just being two chatty Kathy's.

The next day was conference day. The looooonnnnggggg conference day. So I needed to fuel up.
Beignet's and chicory anyone???
I strutted my junk down to Cafe Du Monde for a little mouthwatering goodness.

The fuel store.

 Beignet's are little french donuts that are basically simple batter, fried to puff up, then they have a dump truck of powdered sugar unload on the som'bitches.  It's messy folks. But oh, so worth it.

And to top it all off, a little chicory coffee. Oh Mylanta. For a girl who has had NO caffeine in two weeks.....this shit was cataclysmic.  But not in the Mylanta way. Cripes, wrong words there, huh?. I could have flown to conference building. With my arms as the wings. And my little thunder thighs a' kickin'. No shit.  I'm pretty sure I was the fasted speed walker on the planet after I chugged that succulent drink. For realz. The whole pumping arms, legs moving faster the Wiley Coyotes....that was all me. Classy people. I keep it classy.

This was my breakfast bench's view. Not bad. Not bad at all.

After the conference I did a little more walking around. Plus a little gift buying for my peeps. Your welcome Rebecca and Vicky. And you too Ryan. Then I had to prepare for the best part of my trip.....dinner with VickyD from My Shrinking Belly!

Can I just tell you that that lady is one amazing piece of kindness!

First of all, I didn't know this, but she had a little anxiety about meeting me. Well, I'll tell you I had a little anxiety too. Ok, maybe a lot of anxiety. Would she like me, would we just sit in silence, WOULD SHE LIKE ME??! Insecurity issues people.

But the worrying was all for not. We hit it off like a pair of two ol' bitties that grew up together for 123 years.

We talked non-stop. NON-STOP. About everything. Life, my job, her job, her family, my family, food, weight loss, beer (of course), New Orleans life, and on and on! It was amazeballs. Simply fantastic. Best night of my whole trip. Thank you Vicky!!!!

The gorgeous Miss Vicky and I at the Crescent City Brewery.

I left the restaurant choice up to her. Because really I could eat about anything.  Oh and that chica picked good.....she chose a Brewery!!! Right up my alley! I mean, what's more to love than microbrews. Oh yeah.....Gumbo.......

To solidify that I'm beer obsessed, I ordered one of everything.
Just call me Ms. Lush.

And then we shared the crab stuffed shrimp.
Are you dying yet?

 It was such a fab dinner! And I was sooo excited to meet a blogger! A real honest to goodness blogger! In the flesh! Oh, I miss her already.

After she dropped me off, I crawled up the bar stool at my new/old favorite bar.

Good times.

The next morning I once again visited the conference, but didn't see anything I hadn't seen before. Convenient. So I headed for the closest Bloody Mary factory.

I listened to a little Cajun jazz and read my book in the sun while sipping vodka infused tomato juice. Perfection.

I eventually traveled down to the Quarter to see the river.

Where I sat and read my book again. Perfection.
And I also trotted ('cause I can trot, why not? Ha. I kill me.) through the sidewalk artists to view their talent.

Feeling hungry, I ventured back to the Red Fish Grill, next to my hotel to have yet another Shrimp Po'Boy and Sweet Potato Fries.

Don't hate.
Alas, the time had come. To leave. To travel back.  To Kansas. Blah. I die.

My little excursion just made my love of N'Awlin's that much stronger. That place is paradise. I can't wait to go back. And now that I've found Vicky....good times to be had by all.
Forever.

PS... I walked 20 miles in 2 days. And still managed to gain 5 pounds. Jesus tits.