Ten Things Thursday

Can you believe it's already Thursday???!!! I can't.

But you know what that means! Time for my Ten Things Thursday!!
(BTW, in case you forgot why I started doing this months and months and months ago, it's because I have the attention span of a 3 year old and/or forget what I'm talking about mid-thought, so I just like to bullet out random shit that floats through my noggin.)
Here we go.

1.  I have not had ANY caffeine since Sunday. No soda. No coffee. No IV drip of Diet Mt. Dew. No NUSSING! What is wrong with me, you ask?  Oh, just the usual: I can't stick to a single new crazypants health challenge to save my life so I make up random bullshit health challenges, like no more caffeine, so I can try and love myself again. Apparently my body doesn't really need that legal boost of energy from my morning java to function on a normal basis, like I thought it did. It's just not right, people. Not right at all. Maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I should go to the doctor. Na, they're more nutso than I am.

2.  I discovered an interesting & totally disgusting phenomenon the other day.....eating asparagus makes your pee stink.  Yup, I said it. And now it's all out in the interwebs for people to google search me. Just type in 'asparagus pee' and my little bloggy will pop right up. Awesome. 
Anyway. I don't and have never eaten asparagus IN MY LIFE until the other night.  Well, I've had a few bites here and there, but not the bucket sized portion I made myself Tuesday night.  (And don't ask why I decided to try asparagus, apparently my brain left my body while grocery shopping the last time. And you know I can't let food waste.) I had no idea what the hell would happen when I did my pre-slumber tinkle, an hour after eating.  Then it hit me.....WHOAAAAAhhhhhhUUUUGgggghhhhh. WHAT IS THAT?? Did my bathroom just turn into an oil refinery mixed with elephant poo?? That came from ME?? OhhhMmmmGeeee, I'm dying.  Seriously, I think I'm dying. Because that's got to be what dead people smell like, right?
I don't give a baboons red ASS, I am never eating that stanky vegetable of death for as long as I live. Ever. Seriously.

3.  I ran this week. Stop the presses, this girl actually physically exerted herself!!  And I took Wyatt.  I've been feeling a little bad that every time (pssfftt, 'every time', more like twice in the last month) I go for a run, he sits back at the house and whines and cries and throws a full blown temper tantrum like a toddler. Not really.  But close. In my defense, he can't walk on a leash. He pulls. And pulls in every freaking direction but forward.  Ok, I guess that's not really a defense because it's my fault I haven't trained him.  Well, that's changing! I decided to finally teach my 4.5 year old dog how to walk/run on a leash.  Ohhh Mylanta, it was a rough start to this training.  But by the end of our 2 miles, we had it down pretty good.  He was running right next to my knee on my left side and didn't turbo-leap after a rabbit in the park and send me sprawling on the poo fill grass. Win Win. We're going to try again tonight. Cross your fingers he hasn't forgotten everything.

4.  My goal of having only 6 brewskies this week is going swimmingly.  Last night at Cousin Gossip Fest Night I only had 2. So I have 4 more left for this weekend.  And it's going to be hard, because I'm going to be stuck in a mansion cabin for 2 days, basically by myself, while Ryan hunts the Big Buck.  And there's a hot tub. I don't know if I've ever been in a hot tub minus beer.  Ok, well, maybe when I was like 10. But that doesn't count. 

5.  On the Cousin Gossip Fest Night thing, the three of us, my cousins Nevada, Tom and I, had a very scintillating 10 minute long conversation about whom Mary Magdalen really was. Because, my cousin Nevada was utterly stupid cornfused that she was Jesus' mother. While, the smartypants Tom and I, just knew she was the 'supposed' girlyfriend of the son of God. According to the Da Vinci Code, anyway. Love that series! We went round and round, till Tom finally drew it in crayon that there were TWO Mary's.  Yes, Mary Magdalen, but also Mary, Jesus' mother.  Wow.  This is the crap we talk about on Wed. nights. Quite possibly the most reedonkulous conversations ever.

6.  My next running goal is to do a 10K. Yup, like 6.2 miles. Kill me now. I almost kinda hate that I love running. Because I have to push my sorry ass to run longer and faster and sweat grosser (it's a word) to feel validated in my running mojo. Why'd I start this crap anyway??? Oh, yea, because my pooper was/is the size of Mt. Vesuvius.  I'm going to start to 'really' train next week. I'm giving myself a few more days to get Wyatt in line, because I want him to do the 10K with me. Maybe not in an actual race, that'd be like asking for a concrete face plant every 20 feet. You know....lots of people, crowds, new surroundings, many smells....no dog could pleasantly run by your side with those temptations. Well, definitely not my dog, despite the best of training.

7.  Along with the 10K training, I'm also going to start getting back into Bodyrock.tv.  Christy turned me on to it months ago and I love that it's different, new, fast paced, fun, and you sweat your ever loving ass off in 15 minutes. And, most important, I would build my flabby pea size muscles to semi-flabby grape sized muscles. yippee. I'm going to start by running Monday, Wednesday (which is going to be interval running to help with my pace time), and Friday. Then do Bodyrock on Tuesday and Thursday. I know, I know, I need to get this damn broken record fixed....I'm working on it. Promise.

8.  Did you guys hear about the lady that freaking gave BIRTH 7 hours after finishing the Chicago Marathon??!!  GAVE. BIRTH.  Brought a small human into this world.  HAD! A! BABY! Which translates she was freaking 8.9999999 months pregnant while running the 26.whatever miles.  Jesus tits.  And that was the SECOND marathon that she ran while pregnant with this child.  That's what you call determined. And she has tatas like steel. I'd say balls, but it doesn't go good with her being a girl.  And you know what my first thought was.? 'Wow, I really hope that when I get pregnant I can still do a race.'  Commit me now. I don't even know this person living in my body.

9.  Wanna know something crazysauce?  There are 72 days, 13 hours, and 45 minutes left until Christmas.  (Dontcha love how I can go from marathons to Christmas all in one swoop. It's the randomness that is my life.)  That means I need to start on the shopping. ASAP. Otherwise I will be finishing up the shopping 71 days from now. And this year I do NOT want to procrastinate like all the other years.  So, there you go, if any of you didn't know the timeline to Xmas....now you do. You're welcome.

10.  Did I mention already that we're going to this cabin....that's really a small mansion....for the weekend?  And I don't have to do anything but lay on the couch?  Or watch movies? Or read 113 books? Or sit in the hot tub till my toes shrivel up to raisins?  Well, if I did mention it, I'm just saying it again to make all of you insanely jealous.  There will be no internet access and no cell phone reception. It's going to be GLORIOUS!

Tootles Lovebugs!!!