Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Push hard and listen to Khloe.

Ughhhh. I woke up with a kink in my neck and it is driving me CrAzY!!!! Actually, now that I think about it, I didn’t wake up with it. It started right after my shower. Stupid neck muscles!!! Oh well.

Moving on.

Well, last weekend I didn’t do all that great on running or eating. I worked all day Sat. and to ‘treat’ myself I got a Sonic Bacon Cheeseburger and Fries. Stupidstupidstupid. Then on Sunday I felt like I was going to hurl all day, so I pretty much ate nothing. Ramen noodles and chicken bouillon. Nutritional. I don’t know what the deal-ee-o was. I felt fine in the morning, then throughout the day, I just felt more and more like a flat, stinky cow patty.  So, no runny-runny all weekend.

BUT! I did go run last night and guess what?????

No seriously, guess!

Did you guess yet?

Well, didgya?

Here it is:

I ran 3 miles in my best time evah! 30:10!!! Woop Woop!!!!

So, there I was, truckin’ along on the treadmill, about ½ mile in and my legs aren’t feeling worth a pinch of coon shit. I’m dying. Seriously. The whole time I’m thinking, “Christ legs, get it together, this is not your first rodeo!”
Pretty much was expecting this to happen at any moment:

So, I made a deal with myself, if I could just get to 1.5 miles, then I could take a break.

Well, the more and more I thought about it, I got pissed at my pathetic lazy legs. I just ran 2 miles straight last week! I mean, it wasn’t pretty, but I got the job done. So why, just 3 days later I seem to be moving slower than turtle on valium??!!

Well, I said SCREW YOU legs and pounded out the 1.5 miles like a champ.  My legs were tired, shaky and just plain not cooperating. But that didn’t stop me! I knew I had more in me. I concentrated on my breathing. And Khloe K & Lamar on the little screen. Because what better motivators are there than those two.
Thanks Khloe.
I kept thinking, 'you can make it 2 miles, you can make it 2 miles’. So there I was, pumping away, sweat pouring outta me, my lungs feeling like crispy bacon (damn, now I want bacon),  trying my best not to face plant the conveyor belt of death, and the magic number appears …..AHHHHHHHaaaaaAAAAAAA…….

2.00 miles.

Then my damn brain starts thinking again, ‘Why stop now? You’re training for a 10K and you wanna stop at 2 miles?! Get your shit together woman!’

I listened (don't know why, but I did) and plow on.

2.25 miles………

2.5 miles………

My legs start feeling better, the air in my lungs is abundant and strong……I can do this!


Almost there, almost there. You can do it. MOVE YOUR AMPLE POOPER!!!


YES! Thank you Lawd! I made it!

But I kept going…….because, clearly I’m delusional at this point and am not thinking in my right mind……

3.12……a 5K…..Finished.

At that point, if my legs didn’t feel like they’d collapse under me at a moment’s notice, I would have done cartwheels. Well, and if I knew that I could actually do a cartwheel without slamming my body into #1 the other equipment, or #2 that nice lady that is on the treadmill next to me, I would have.

It was fantastic. Just fantastic.

And I’m so proud of myself for pushing so hard. Made me realize that I can do it, if I try hard enough.

Oh, one last thing, remember the liar post on Sat.? I mean, how could you forget, but I just wanted to let you all know that everything is starting to work out. The person that lied to me and about me got an ass chewing, the people that matter the most knew the correct truth, and I’ve put it all behind me. Not worth the energy!
 (And to my new followers, sorry you had to read such a poopy post! Just go back a ways and you’ll find some real good ditties, that are sooo less depressingpants, I promise!)

No run tonight, as my neck feels stiffer than a teenager at $1 night in a strip club. But tomorrow morning!!! Me and the lovely Beth Ann are kicking the sunrise’s ass!!!


  1. Great job on your run, Laura. I'm sorry about your neck. I get that a lot because I have to sleep with two pillows. Can't breathe otherwise. I hope you feel better soon.

  2. coon shit and teenagers at a strip club - you crack me up.

    I'm a numbers person too - I just keep looking at the treadmill numbers, okay one more .5, oh well maybe just 20 more calories.... Before you know it you've made/past your goal.
    A couple days rest often does the body good. Well done Miss Laura!

  3. Go girl!! That's awesome and a kick ass time!

    And thank you for continuing to make me spit my water out laughing while reading your posts.

  4. I am SO glad you don't feel like a flat, stinky cow pattie anymore!! LOL!

  5. Way to go, girl!! Nothing like giving yourself a good talkin' to...

  6. I love, love, love this post! I have a tendency to quit running before I should and I just can't get myself to stick it out. But for some reason, I can push myself harder and CrossFit and it has really helped me conquer some of that.

    We will conquer sunrise and our perceived exercise ceilings tomorrow morning! We will KICK ASS!

  7. A) How cute is that little Tweak picture doing a face plant??? Well, my Tweak doesn't have quite so short of legs of course as he's not a full dachshund.

    B) SO AMAZ-BALLS proud of you for keeping at it. I often times tell myself that I can stop at like 2 miles or whatever and then I do. I'm going to use this post as inspiration that if it's just fatigue to try pushing through it. I'm going to try that for sure. SO proud of you girl kickin ass!

  8. It took me 42 minutes to do my last 5K, but considering it was raining, I was pregnant at the time, and I was recovering from a foot injury, I don't think I did too badly. I can't wait to get back to running.
    Good for you, that's a great time!

  9. You GO! Girlfriend - sooo proud of YOU!!!

    Wish I had the same gumption right now - send some my way!!!

  10. Good job! You should be proud of yourself!

  11. Woohoooo - YAY for my mini-me! And um - it's a good thing the "liar liar" thing worked out...cuz Sheniqua and her posse were all ready to come down there and kick ass. Just sayin.


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