What in the name of Satan's balls makes people lie? I mean, really? And I'm not talking about little white lies. Or adding a little embellishment to a story (which Ryan will tell you, sometimes I might do.) I'm talking about the full blown, big ol', Texas sized lies that people tell about other people, or that people tell to other people.
I just don't understand.
I despise liars. Truly. Maybe more than some people. I know everyone hates lying. But I REALLY hate lying.
I grew up in lies. Basically, the first part of my life was all lies. Told by someone close to me. It had a significant impact on my life. It was horrible. It was nearly unforgivable.
I think because of that, actually it IS because of that, I have such a hatred of people that lie.
Don't get me wrong, I don't have trust issues because of my upbringing. My mom and Ryan will tell you that I freely give out my trust to just about anyone. I'll give my full trust to some Joe Blow off the street trying to tell me that unicorns fart dollar bills. It's fine.
It's when I find out that Joe Blow is a liar that things change. The moment, the instant, that I find out I've been told a lie, or that someone has told a lie about me......things get fugly. Down right shank a bitch fugly.
Once I find out, that person no longer has my respect, my trust, or my friendship. And, that person should know, once you lose those things, they very rarely come back. I rarely forgive. And if do happen to have some come to Jesus moment and find the courage to forgive, that person will still spend the rest of their life trying to earn my respect, trust and friendship back. Basically they would have to walk nekkid over 234 miles of fiery coals, laced with glass shards, holding 18 cender blocks, while a Satanistic midget whips the shit out of them with barb wire to gain my trust back. Too harsh??? I think not.
Which brings me back to my original question: Why would you lie? Why would you jeopardize so much to make yourself 'look' better?
I just can NOT comprehend.
Sorry. I just had a really bad day where someone lied about me. And to me. More than once. In an 8 hour period. Fucking prick.
No, it's not any of my family or friends. They know better. And are better people than that. It's.....just someone else.
And what makes it worse is that I can't do anything about it. Normally, I would confront the person, right away. And hash it out. But in this instance, I can't. I would be putting another, innocent, person at risk. And I won't, don't, do that.
So I have to live with it. See that person almost every day and pretend that everything is sparkle-stars and sunshine-hearts.
Just makes me hate them even more.
But I'll deal. Because I'm a bigger and better person. I will not show them that their incredibly stupid existence keeps me awake at night. Because it shouldn't. They are not worth the time or the energy.
I will deal.
I will let this go.
I will move on.
And will be the sarcastic, gorgeous (woops, did I type that?), and Mary Spanking Awesome Sunshine that y'all know and love.
Besides, Mr. Hotpants Timberlake is singing SexyBack on my Pandora right now and that song just makes you want to be in a better mood. And shake it like a pole dancer.
Thanks for listening.