Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Canning, Shoes, and Smurfs. What more does a girl need?

Holy Toledo batladies! I have so much to tell you!

I've been living my batshit crazy freakish life that has damn near done me into a straight jacket.  Seriously.
And what's with all the 'bat' references?
Moving on.

First, was another fun 'Canning Weekend'!  (Yes, it's almost Wednesday before I finally have 2 miliseconds to sit down and write about last weekend. Get over it.) Homemade salsa this time chica's. Ieeeii-Yiiii-YIIIII. And it went fairly quick. (Maybe because I was sober this time? Naaaa.)
One ENORMOUS pot of salsa goodness.
It looks small....oh, but it isn't.

Canning station in full force. Check.

Moving salsa to jars. Check.

And we have completed our canning mission!

I haven't tried any....except for the 8 cups I had while making it, you gotta taste test peeps....but I'm pretty sure it's Baaaaad Aaaaasssssssss.

Ohhhhhhh! And of course there was some shopping last weekend too.  I did meet my 'work out 5 days a week' goal, which rewarded me with a killer dress.....and shoes.....and a belt.  Most excellent. Draz: This would be the time to get that towel.  No need to ruin another keyboard with drool. And tell Rambo that screen licking is mandatory.
You likes??!! All for $28. (With a $10 off 'I'm a shopping goddess' coupon.)
OK, I just added the goddess part. It's fine.

Total $84! Shoes, belt and dress!
BAR. GAIN. SHOPPER. Don't be a hater.
Besides the whole 'I've gotta meet my goals so that's the only reason to spend money I don't really have' thang, my besty friend in the whole entire world is having her bachelorette party this weekend and I just didn't have a thing to wear. Right. Hence.....cutestest outfit on the planet.  Can I just say I'm so freaking excited!  Not only for the new dress, but because I can actually put together an entire outfit and I don't look like a 97 year old crack whore dressed me? (Which is what I normally look like when I try to mix up the Ts and jeans with something 'trendy'.)

Then Monday came.

And all that was lovely and rainbows came crashing down like a foot on a bag of burning poop. (Sorry Draz.) (Not like I've ever done that.) Monday: With it's demon horned cursing obscenities self.  Freaking bastard Mondays. I CURSE you with the most evil spell!

Yup. You guessed it. I accidentally exploded a colony of Smurfs all over the back half of my office. 

This is after we cleaned up the floor, the garage door, the grey door, the back of the printer, a fan, numerous papers and plexi-glass cutouts, and if the ceiling wasn't 25 feet in the air....that too.  This is also only about 1/10th of the damage, by the way.

Genius me left a half gallon container FREAKING FULL of ink on the back of the devil printers (I use monstrous printers about the size of Rhode Island to print things, and they are possessed by Satan himself and they torment me daily...just for fun) and it fell off and splattered blue ink everywhere, which you can see....and also, you can not clean up with water, soap, spit, bitching and moaning or anything, all over my freaking shop. Slash my office.

Good times.

Oh, and yes, that is metal sheeting on the wall and a huge garage door because I work in a oversized farm building. Totally normal office in hickland.

Just everyday fantasticness in LauraBelleLand. 

And today wasn't much better.  But....a nice frosty beverage cures what ails ya.
Wow, that sounded backwoods.

Anyway, I bought a new salad spinner, so now all is right with the world.

Don't'cha just love it how I change topics like a Lindsey changes swimsuits on her birthday?


  1. Okay...so do you need me to send you my address so that you can send me some darn salsa. That looks yummy. If it's spicy that's even better.

    Loving the shoes and dress combo...cute.

    I official hate your demon printers. LOL

  2. home made stuff always tastes best!! also, that dress is sooo cute! i want one!

  3. Wow, that is one hell of a recap. I <3 homemade salsa. Nothing beats it.

    That teal dress with those shoes are gorgeous! Pics of you in it, please.

    THE EXPLODING SMURFS disaster is hilarious. Sorry, probably wasn't funny for you. I had a salsa-explosion earlier this week. Was not fun cleaning it off my white cupboards!

  4. I definitely want on the mailing list for the salsa! And I love the shoe, and the dress. Can't wait to see pics of you in it!

    By the way, my daughter is going to be calling you so that you can explain to her that we can no longer go to see smurfs since you massacred them!

  5. Homemade salsa.....YES PLEASE!!!!!

  6. ninja want salsa...

    sorry went a little caveman there.

    Loving the new outfit and shoes, so cute. Have fun at the party.

    Sorry about the crap-tastic work thing, that sucks.

  7. the salsa looks fantastic!

    and I am drooling over that dress! love it!

  8. Ok - I laughed once when you said you didn't taste it other than the 8 cups while prepping. HAHA! *snort*

    Then...you witch - you made me actually SNORT (pig noise) while reading the part about the 97 year old crack whore.

    So sorry about the smurfs. I know they are trying to make a comeback and stuff with having cutie patootie Neil Patrick Harris (yep, I know he's gay) doing a movie with them...but really are they so hard up for work that they have to come and break out all over your office? Sorry about the cleanup hon!

  9. Excellent score on the clothes and shoes! I'll send you my address and and some shipping for some salsa---all in an effort to taste test and all. ; ) OK, when I saw that picture of the wall, strangely it looks like it's supposed to be there. Like it's abstract kind of grass (thistles?) from a field? Or maybe it's just my muscle relaxers...

  10. Um, i will pay you for that salsa. I am a salsa FIEND. The spicier, the better!

    Cuuute dress!

  11. Add me to the salsa distribution list. That looks, FANTASTIC!

    I will be thinking of you on Friday when I go see the Smurfs. Poor little exploding Smurfs...

  12. Mmmmm I love salsa

  13. I'm sure it was a tragedy to clean up, but that inked wall is a design masterpiece. Watch out HGTV.

  14. The salsa looks so yummy...my fav! Cute shopping finds!


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