Monday, August 29, 2011

Snappy Weekend Recap.

OK, Hold on to your boobs ladies, this is going to be a fast one.

-Bought a new dishwasher. It's pretty.  It arrives Wed/Thurs.Can't wait.

-Bought a new mattress. CAN I GET A WHOOP WHOOP! Um, pretty sure I've been sleeping on the box springs for over two years. Sore back = cranky Laura. New bed = happy Laura.

-Had some great friends come over and we grilled out and went to the Blacktop National's Car Parade and Burn-out competition Sat. night.  Tons of really neat classic and new cars. Also tons of the most white trash people I've ever seen in my LIFE!  One girl had a 'shredded' shirt on, like cuts from neck to ass on the back part of the shirt. Barely holding on for life, that little cloth.  Wearing it with a grandma BEIGE walmart cheap disgusting bra. Classy.  Next was the lady that had 47 'diamonds' from bottom lobe to the top of her ear. Pretty sure if she could pierce her skull she would have kept going.  Oh, and Joe Dirt Mini Me in the front yelling at the cars. His parents must have been special.

-Friends left.

-Went bedroom furniture shopping.  Found a set. Our first new bedroom set. Pee my pants happy.

-Got a massage. I almost cried it felt so good. New girl. Pretty sure when I nearly body slammed her afterwards to give her a gratitude hug that she's filing a restraining order. It's fine.

-Watched some of the VMAs. Completely positive that Lady CooCoo (gaga) is a certified lunatic.

-One of my employees is out for the week with a family emergency.  Means I have to work extra EXTRA overtime to make up her work. Life sucks.

-Found out that my printer dealer sent me the wrong ink cartridge. I've been trying to clean the printer lines for 3 days with CLEAR ink instead of CLEANING SOLUTION.  I want to spit lightening bolts up my printer dealers ass then have an elephant shit on their face. I now hate life.

-And I have started my new 'diet', or more accurately, my new eating lifestyle of Clean-Eating which says that those chocolate chip fudge filled cookies that a co-worker's wife homemade,sitting just 25 feet away, are a big no-no.  I didn't take one. Dolphin claps please.  Someone just put me out of my misery. For the love of farts.

Now that's what you call speed blogging.

When my head stops spinning like some demon possessed nutjob and I break out of the loony bin I will write more. Otherwise, if you need to get ahold of me I have taken temporary residence in Crazytown. And there is no beer there. *sigh*


  1. You are so funny! I love the White Trash viewing at such events. I always say..."It'd be a good night to rob a trailer park!"

  2. Ohhh new bed ftw!! And good job on resisting those cookies. They'd be a goner if i was there. :P

  3. yay for a new bed and dishwasher!!

    a good matress can change everything!

  4. Your weekend needs a Zanex, and a glass of wine, but not in a suicide kind of way.

    Don't you just see the most interesting people when cars are involved, the Daytona 500 is always a study in modern hick-ishness. It's like a "People of Walmart" convention.

  5. I will see you in crazytown!

  6. That must have been one hell of a massage. I hope she takes you back. ;)

  7. Yay new dishwasher and bed stuffs!

    Crazytown, yeah I've been there a few times lately... Might be headed there now infact.

  8. I ended up recording the VMAs so I could just fast forward through all the boring stuff which ended up being most of it!

    Good for you for passing up the cookies! My boss brought in homemade brownies today and I managed to resist too. There shouldn't be so many temptations at work! :)

  9. Yay new dishwasher and mattress! I love people watching. Too funny!

  10. I think gaga is this generations Madonna. Doing the shocking stuff and I bet she'll be reinventing herself every 10 years or so. I don't love her as an entertainer but her songs motivate my ass to get in the gym. :)

    Pictures of bedroom set when it arrives purty please. Also - I snorted about the descriptions of the white trash folks. *hearts*

  11. Yay for a new bed, and how on earth did you resist eating the cookies, i would have lost that battle so dolphin claps for you. can you hear them?

  12. Funny.... I actually went new mattress shopping Sat. because mine also wants to retire to mattress land.


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