Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Nothin' like a little Texas action!

Everyone hold on to your pink polka dot thong-panties (just in case some of you old folk thought I was talking about flip-flops)!!!
I'm BAAAAAaaaaaCK.

Holy shriveled donkey dicks that was like the longest blogger absence ever, right?  I am so sorry for leaving you all in crazy limbo! I should be punished. Y'all should send me boxes of new shoes. No? Not a good punishment? Beer would be better?

God I missed you all sooooooooo much! I'm catching up on blogs, not commenting, but at least catching up.

I pretty much live a bedazzled toot-tastic life right now and you all should get down on your knees and ask the Almighty if you can PLEASE trade places with me.  It's that amazeballs, I'm telling you.

Really, I went to the big ol' state of Texas last weekend to visit some VERY good friends of ours.  Truthfully, there is an accessories store about 10 minutes away from my friends Matt & Jess's house and I secretly just went down there to go shopping. Sorry Jess, I really needed to get that off my chest.  Whew, I feel sooo much better. (Just

Moving on.

After I returned, my work environment pretty much imploded and then little bursts of tiny purple skunk turds proceeded to fall from the sky and explode above my intelligence-depleted noggin.  AKA...I hate my job.

But lets talk about the FUN part, shall we. (And no comments about a weekend recap happening on Wed.! MmmmKay?! It is Wed., right? I don't even know the damn day. Jesus tits.)

Moving on.

Friday, Ryan and I giggly hopped (yes, BOTH Ryan and I were 'giggly') into our friend's Paul and Libby's roomy Taurus and tootled our way to big cattle country...Fort Worth, TX, Baby! YeeeeeeHaaawwwww!

Once there we had a FULL weekend of plans. Shopping on Saturday for the girls and a tour of the Cowboy's Stadium for the boys (and truth be told, I kinda would have thought that was badass, but shopping takes priority).

First stop was at my 'soon to be new husband's' freaking gianormous accessory shop named after himself: Sam Moon (sorry Ryan, I hope you can get over me leaving you for a 70-some year old Asian dude and changing my name to Laura Moon.) I was sorta afraid to take pictures and having some little Asian lady scream, "You no takey NUSSING for pictures! You-a juss buy lossss of pretties!" So, I only took one. Of a sweet little purse that I secretly will covet for the rest of my life. I so should have nabbed that sucker. (Draz, you're gonna want to hold on to your pink zebra print bra for these next pictures.)

This mini warehouse of a store had isles and isles AND ISLES of purses, scarves, sunglasses, wallets, hats, luggage, belts, and to make matters so much better......freaking huge walls stacked full of jewelry!  Turquoise, silver, gold, large stones, little stones, bracelets, earrings, EVERYTHING!  It's all totally cheap fake crap.....BUT WHO THE HELL CARES! Especially when you can get all this:

Ok, the wedges (shoes) weren't from there, they were from New York & Co. Wanna know how much those set me back? The shoes I mean.  $6.  Yep. Six Whole Dollars. WHAT?! I thought they made a mistake marking the sale sticker! Nope. I woulda bought like a dozen pair, but the slate grey ones were the only ones in my size. I still think it's a gift from the shoe Gods.

And did you see my feathers?!?!?! (Draz: Did you see them? Did ya? Did ya? Are you secretly jealous of me now and want to live closer to me so you can raid my jewelry stash?  I'm cool with that.) I also got like 6 leather 'wrap around your wrist a million times' bracelets.  And a blingy watch.  Oh, and a cute swirly pink bag to carry all my little things on my extensive travels. And a badass wallet.  Ok, lets just say I got A LOT of stuff.

After the Sam Moon adventure we went to a outdoor mall called Southland...or something. Where we ate fabulous Mexican food appetizers, and I found my $6 pair of wedges. We needed to refuel for more shopping!
Me, Jordan, Jess, and Libby. Some badass shopping Bitches!

Some of our apps, brisket quesadillas and nachos. Yummertons!
After shopping we got ready for dinner. Jordan made us reservations at this slick and hip new sushi restaurant in downtown Fort Worth, called Blue Sushi.  IT. WAS. FABULOUS!

The Outfit. Stellar, right?

Libby, Jess, and I.

The group.
Of course I have a beer in my hand...when don't I?

The sushi, half eaten because it looked so good I had to try it first before whipping
my camera out!
Ryan and I.
 Then we went and had a few cocktails at The Durty Crow.
We're just a bunch of dirty birds.
Sunday was reserved for 'Lake Time'.  So we headed out to Eagle Mountain Lake, which is conveniently only 10 minutes from Matt & Jess's house.
No shocker that I've got a floatation device to hold my all empties.
Because swimming the 2 feet to the boat is waaay too much effort.
And apparently you don't have a 'real' lakehouse until you can store your
helicopter on your little heli-pad dock thingy.
Then the little accident happened.

Don't know if I've ever told you guys, but I'm a klutz. Full on C.L.U.M.S.Y. Pants McGee.
WeeeeeeeeeLLLL, I decided that after we docked the boat that I had to tinkle.  And I just couldn't hold it the extremely long 10 minutes back to the house (I'm pretty sure Mr. Bud Light had a hand in my decision capabilities at this point. Bastard.)  So, I decide to jump back on the docked boat, and crawl down the back ladder and take care of business.  Yes, I pee in the lake. Get over it.

Brace yourselves, gross pictures coming up.

Well, going down the ladder I sort of 'ran into' the propeller.  Just slightly........

Seriously, I thought I freaking sliced my leg off and I'd be a one legged runner for the rest of my life. It hurt SO. BAD! 
Basically a few hours after I 'slipped'.
Took this last night. I could easily win a beauty contest with this one.
Just because i got the bruise in TX, does that really have to mean that it has to be the BIGGEST?! It still hurts like a sum'bitch, but I'll survive.  Hopefully. I think whining will take place for quite awhile.

Enough of that shenanigens.

Sunday night we went out to a little Mexican place that had the most delicious tacos and nachos on the face of this planet. I didn't take any pictures because I was so gluttonous that I devoured them in 5 minutes flat. With Ryan's help, of course.

But I did get a picture of Libby and I at Billy Bob's Honkey Tonk Bar later that night.

I pretty much love visiting our friends Matt & Jess down in Texas. And I'm pretty sure I'll be doing just that, every year, for the rest of my natural life.  Get ready Matt & Jess!!!! You're never going to get rid of us!!! Mmmuuaaaahhhhaaaahhhaaaa!
(evil laugh)

And I promise that I'm sticking around for awhile now! Pinky Swear!!!

I also have some big news, well, I think it's big news, in tomorrow's Ten Things Thursday, so stay tuned! (I'm such a little tease.hehehe.)


  1. OMG you are so cute! I am so jealous of your shopping trip and that bruise is NASTY!

  2. Woo hoo. Look for Draz (and me!) to lick the screen with all those purses and wallets etc.

    That bruise looks so painful girl. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.

  3. My God in heaven and slippery seal semen - I have to go to that store. I cannot live without going there. I bet NUSSING compares to it. I nearly fell off my chair when I saw the $6 shoes. Jesus tits is right. But don't go again - cuz I missed you. xoxo

  4. Wow, that was a helluva weekend! I would have died in a warehouse like that. Too much excitement for lil ole me.

    Sorry about your bruise. Am I the first/only to point out that it looks like a penis? That's quite the souvenir to take back from Texas! haha

    Hope you can run off those calories once your leg heals. That food looked TDF!

    Btw, I finally googled "Zuzanna." MY GOD SHE'S CRAZY!

  5. OMG that is a nasty bruise on your leg! Great shopping haul, my goodness that is a lot of purses all in one place. Looks like a great time!

    I heart Zuzanna!

  6. wow that looks like a ton of fun!

    and OMG your leg looks narly!!!

  7. Great job shopping, I die for feathers! Love them.

    Um, your poor lil leg! That bruise looks awful!

    Looks like you all had a great time!

  8. could you bruise those beautiful legs!!! Stop the madness.

    Umm...big news...are you preggers? Nope...that aint it...since you drank 8 cases of beer this weekend. LOL

    Um...let me see. You have decided that we should be together on your anniversary trip and Ryan is sending my plane ticket this week. I know that's what it is. I'm so excited.

  9. I LOVE Sam Moon! I'm guessing you all went to Southlake and that was the outdoor mall. Did she take you to Charming Charlie? It is also delightful.

    That bruise is NASTY, girl! Glad you had such fun. :) Come when you can stay longer and I can meet your crazy self!

  10. How fun! I love Sam Moon too, but I haven't been there in forever! I'm pretty sure where you ate mexican food was at Mi Cocina in Southlake and that is the same restaurant where Dawnya, Ronnie, Beth Ann, Debi and myself met for lunch a few weeks ago! :) Glad you had a good time, but that bruise looks awful!

  11. Haha, I was about to say the same thing as Beth Ann and Andrea.

    Glad you had a great weekend... other than the bruise. Texas is evil, I tell you. (But I <3 it, obvs.)

  12. I. Love. Sam. Moon.

    OMG. There's more than one you know! I'm not sure how many there are...but did you KNOW there is NOW a Sam Moon on-line????? Not as fun as raiding the store but....

    That bruise is pretty much the size and shape of California.

    BTW, my word verification word is "furkinky" which is totally hilarious.

  13. The outfit was adorable!

    Yikes!! That bruise looks incredibly painful! Sorry that happened, but the rest of the weekend looked like a great time. :)

  14. Oh my goodness, your bruise looks totally painful! It made my stomach turn a little bit! Love all the loot!


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