Nothin' like a little Texas action!

Everyone hold on to your pink polka dot thong-panties (just in case some of you old folk thought I was talking about flip-flops)!!!
I'm BAAAAAaaaaaCK.

Holy shriveled donkey dicks that was like the longest blogger absence ever, right?  I am so sorry for leaving you all in crazy limbo! I should be punished. Y'all should send me boxes of new shoes. No? Not a good punishment? Beer would be better?

God I missed you all sooooooooo much! I'm catching up on blogs, not commenting, but at least catching up.

I pretty much live a bedazzled toot-tastic life right now and you all should get down on your knees and ask the Almighty if you can PLEASE trade places with me.  It's that amazeballs, I'm telling you.

Really, I went to the big ol' state of Texas last weekend to visit some VERY good friends of ours.  Truthfully, there is an accessories store about 10 minutes away from my friends Matt & Jess's house and I secretly just went down there to go shopping. Sorry Jess, I really needed to get that off my chest.  Whew, I feel sooo much better. (Just kidding.lol)

Moving on.

After I returned, my work environment pretty much imploded and then little bursts of tiny purple skunk turds proceeded to fall from the sky and explode above my intelligence-depleted noggin.  AKA...I hate my job.

But lets talk about the FUN part, shall we. (And no comments about a weekend recap happening on Wed.! MmmmKay?! It is Wed., right? I don't even know the damn day. Jesus tits.)

Moving on.

Friday, Ryan and I giggly hopped (yes, BOTH Ryan and I were 'giggly') into our friend's Paul and Libby's roomy Taurus and tootled our way to big cattle country...Fort Worth, TX, Baby! YeeeeeeHaaawwwww!

Once there we had a FULL weekend of plans. Shopping on Saturday for the girls and a tour of the Cowboy's Stadium for the boys (and truth be told, I kinda would have thought that was badass, but shopping takes priority).

First stop was at my 'soon to be new husband's' freaking gianormous accessory shop named after himself: Sam Moon (sorry Ryan, I hope you can get over me leaving you for a 70-some year old Asian dude and changing my name to Laura Moon.) I was sorta afraid to take pictures and having some little Asian lady scream, "You no takey NUSSING for pictures! You-a juss buy lossss of pretties!" So, I only took one. Of a sweet little purse that I secretly will covet for the rest of my life. I so should have nabbed that sucker. (Draz, you're gonna want to hold on to your pink zebra print bra for these next pictures.)

This mini warehouse of a store had isles and isles AND ISLES of purses, scarves, sunglasses, wallets, hats, luggage, belts, and to make matters so much better......freaking huge walls stacked full of jewelry!  Turquoise, silver, gold, large stones, little stones, bracelets, earrings, EVERYTHING!  It's all totally cheap fake crap.....BUT WHO THE HELL CARES! Especially when you can get all this:

Ok, the wedges (shoes) weren't from there, they were from New York & Co. Wanna know how much those set me back? The shoes I mean.  $6.  Yep. Six Whole Dollars. WHAT?! I thought they made a mistake marking the sale sticker! Nope. I woulda bought like a dozen pair, but the slate grey ones were the only ones in my size. I still think it's a gift from the shoe Gods.

And did you see my feathers?!?!?! (Draz: Did you see them? Did ya? Did ya? Are you secretly jealous of me now and want to live closer to me so you can raid my jewelry stash?  I'm cool with that.) I also got like 6 leather 'wrap around your wrist a million times' bracelets.  And a blingy watch.  Oh, and a cute swirly pink bag to carry all my little things on my extensive travels. And a badass wallet.  Ok, lets just say I got A LOT of stuff.

After the Sam Moon adventure we went to a outdoor mall called Southland...or something. Where we ate fabulous Mexican food appetizers, and I found my $6 pair of wedges. We needed to refuel for more shopping!

Me, Jordan, Jess, and Libby. Some badass shopping Bitches!

Some of our apps, brisket quesadillas and nachos. Yummertons!

After shopping we got ready for dinner. Jordan made us reservations at this slick and hip new sushi restaurant in downtown Fort Worth, called Blue Sushi.  IT. WAS. FABULOUS!

The Outfit. Stellar, right?

Libby, Jess, and I.

The group.
Of course I have a beer in my hand...when don't I?

The sushi, half eaten because it looked so good I had to try it first before whipping
my camera out!

Ryan and I.

 Then we went and had a few cocktails at The Durty Crow.

We're just a bunch of dirty birds.

Sunday was reserved for 'Lake Time'.  So we headed out to Eagle Mountain Lake, which is conveniently only 10 minutes from Matt & Jess's house.

No shocker that I've got a floatation device to hold my all empties.
Because swimming the 2 feet to the boat is waaay too much effort.

And apparently you don't have a 'real' lakehouse until you can store your
helicopter on your little heli-pad dock thingy.
Christ.

Then the little accident happened.

Don't know if I've ever told you guys, but I'm a klutz. Full on C.L.U.M.S.Y. Pants McGee.
WeeeeeeeeeLLLL, I decided that after we docked the boat that I had to tinkle.  And I just couldn't hold it the extremely long 10 minutes back to the house (I'm pretty sure Mr. Bud Light had a hand in my decision capabilities at this point. Bastard.)  So, I decide to jump back on the docked boat, and crawl down the back ladder and take care of business.  Yes, I pee in the lake. Get over it.

Brace yourselves, gross pictures coming up.

Well, going down the ladder I sort of 'ran into' the propeller.  Just slightly........

Seriously, I thought I freaking sliced my leg off and I'd be a one legged runner for the rest of my life. It hurt SO. BAD! 

Basically a few hours after I 'slipped'.

Took this last night. I could easily win a beauty contest with this one.

Just because i got the bruise in TX, does that really have to mean that it has to be the BIGGEST?! It still hurts like a sum'bitch, but I'll survive.  Hopefully. I think whining will take place for quite awhile.

Enough of that shenanigens.

Sunday night we went out to a little Mexican place that had the most delicious tacos and nachos on the face of this planet. I didn't take any pictures because I was so gluttonous that I devoured them in 5 minutes flat. With Ryan's help, of course.

But I did get a picture of Libby and I at Billy Bob's Honkey Tonk Bar later that night.

I pretty much love visiting our friends Matt & Jess down in Texas. And I'm pretty sure I'll be doing just that, every year, for the rest of my natural life.  Get ready Matt & Jess!!!! You're never going to get rid of us!!! Mmmuuaaaahhhhaaaahhhaaaa!
(evil laugh)

And I promise that I'm sticking around for awhile now! Pinky Swear!!!

I also have some big news, well, I think it's big news, in tomorrow's Ten Things Thursday, so stay tuned! (I'm such a little tease.hehehe.)