Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Challenges are a bitch.

Oh my giddy Aunt….what a weekend!
The wedding was a blast and I rocked it in the purple dress with white shoes (BTW, I got the dress at Forever 21, but like 2 years ago, so I don’t know if they still have it).  I’ll tell you all about it later, with pictures, because right now I want to share with you a little secret….
Are you ready?????
Last night I went to the gym!! Yes. That’s it. Sorry, not so exciting once I typed it out.  It was the first time I set foot in the establishment of torture and scary Satan-influenced equipment since January….I think.  It’s been a hell of a long time, let’s just say that.
Yesterday was the first day for the Marathon Challenge! Yippee!!  (Sorry I didn’t post yesterday…you know how Monday’s are….they just plain suck big pink elephant balls.) Anyway, the Marathon Challenge is to run/walk/skip/jump/belly crawl 26.2 miles in 7 days. Once you divide it up between the days it doesn’t seem that bad. If you break it up for all 7 days, it comes out to roughly 3.75 miles a day. Break it up between 5 days it’s 5.24.  That’s totally doable right? Right.  Now, if you want to get all ‘I’m a badass runner and can conquer that shit in 2 days or, better yet, 1 day’….more power to ya crazy person. I’m shooting for completing at least 5 miles every day Monday through Friday, then finish up any leftovers on Sat or Sun.  Because you all know me and my weekends revolve around deck sitting and Bud Lights.  Running usually doesn’t fit into that busy schedule.  But this weekend, I’ve got to do at least a little.
Back to the whole gym craziness last night: Since it’s hotter than Satan’s crotch (that little gem of a remark is courtesy of Draz, I thought it was hilarious) here in the flatlands, I decided that instead of trying to run in the blistering heat, which would probably end with my face-planting the concrete and no one finding me for weeks, then I would be just a oozy pile of goo and pink sneakers, I opted to go to the nice, air conditioned gym.  And since the hubby is actually home this week (well, most of it anyway), he can let out our extremely pampered and spoiled rotten ‘child’ when he gets home from work (‘the child’ is our dog by the way).  Because yes, Wyatt gets to stay indoors curled up on OUR bed all day when it’s 100+ outside.  I want Wyatt’s life.
Ok, back on track…I went to the gym, hopped on the treadmill…literally…because I bought some new running shoes last weekend. They are kick ass Adidas Bounce shoes that are black and pink. I’ll post a pic later.  And I really do bounce when I walk/run in them (not enough that people look at me funny or anything). 
-By the way I just want to put in a little note that I’m totally blaming my friend Lindsey for the extra shoe purchase. Lindsey, Jess (another friend), and I went shopping last weekend and Lindsey got a new pair of running shoes (she’s totally agreed to do a 5K with me one day….she’ll wipe the floor with me) so I decided, because she bought a pair, that I needed a pair too.  So…it’s totally her fault.  But thank God….because those shoes are SWEET! (Just kidding, I can’t blame her…she’s too badass.)-
First, apparently my gym membership money is getting put to good use, because they upgraded all their machines since the last time I went.  And they are killer: Big touch screens, tons of workout programs and a TV Channel Guide (you used to have to just hit the manual channel changer all the way through the 856 channels to see what was on).  I started out on a manual program and walked for 5 minutes….then I decided to step it up to a run.  Fully expecting my out of shape humongous ass to make it about a ¼ of a mile before my lungs exploded, but nope, I rocked it out at a 9:30 pace for a FULL MILE!  What?!?! Aliens must have abducted me last night and replace me with a runner.  Granted, once I hit the one mile mark, I nearly tripped on the conveyor because my legs felt like watered down Jello and went catapulting into the machine/person behind me (that person did look at me funny btw).  My lungs were SCREAMING for O2, my throat was so dry I thought I swallowed sandpaper….and I was sweating like 326lb linebacker on a 103 degree day.  I looked sexy. I’m pretty sure people were looking at me and wanted to be me.  It was awesome.  After I wiped my face off and chugged the rest of my 24 ounce water bottle, I slowed it down and walked for another mile.  Then, I basically did intervals of walking ¾ mile/running ½ mile until I made it to 5 miles.  All in all, I ended up walking/running 5.15 miles in 1 hour and 5 minutes.  What a freaking workout! I was rocking sexy crotch sweat like no ones business.
I have 21.05 miles left in the challenge.  And on my little ‘side’ challenge with Draz I can pencil in the 65 minutes. (We’re challenging ourselves to time (minutes) worked out for the month of June. Why? Obviously I’m an overachiever and go from no challenges for 3 months to 2 all in one month.  I’m a genius that way.)
I’m going to start a new little ‘countdown’ or ‘progress’ to the challenges on the side of my blog to show how many miles I’ve done and the minutes I’m up to.  I’ll also put in my original start weight and my current weight, just in case you all care (notice my current weight went up since last Friday. You can attribute that to the monstrous cheeseburger and fries I had at 2am on Friday night). It’ll be in the ‘Challenges Are A Bitch’ bubble.
Update on the Dukan Diet: Yes, I’m still trying to do it. I didn’t do so hot last weekend, but I’m back on track this week.  Alternating Pure Protein one day and Veggies and Protein the next.  Basically, I like that I’m eating all low/non-fat, high protein, low carbs, etc. about the diet.  Eventually, I’m going to add in more carbs once I hit my ‘goal’ weight of 138.  So I’m kinda following it, but really just eating pretty healthy, and mixing in a few brewskies.  I like it this way, so I’m going to keep on doing what I’m doing.
Don’t forget: Wedding pics and stories tomorrow…or even tonight if I can manage it.
Anybody else doing any ‘fun’ challenges?


  1. YOU GO GIRL! I'm so proud you hit it at the gym!! You'll totally knock out the marathon distance in no time!! Keep up the good work! I posted those cardio workouts (from my trainer) for ya on my blog ;-)

  2. Nice work! You smoked me and my piddly 3 1/2 mile walk in the 200 degree pressure cooker that is WI... Freakin' gross! (It's so humid that I have to put my wipers on when I drive!) Oh, and I LOVE that Drazil quote.

    Okay, now then, wipe some of the awesome off of your sweaty self and give it back. Thief. Nobody looks better with ass sweat than me. It was abundant yesterday, by the way. I sweat so much yesterday than I'm practically missing a nipple!

    Sarah @ Thinfluenced

  3. I'm going to go all Chicago on your ass because You're The Inspiration!! You totally rock!

    My challenge starts on Monday. 10 Days to Vegas and I'm going to kill it!

  4. Have I called you an over-achiever yet today? Okay if not - let me do it now. Over-achiever. There - now that that is done - I'll act like a real friend and say WAY TO GO - YOU ROCK. Kick Draz's ass in this challenge....oh wait. NO - shit - that's me - you're going down sucka! You know - after I get the IV outta my arm. Lame-o!

  5. I made the blog!!! :)))
    In all seriousness, find a 5K, register now, give me the date and I am in.


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