Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Colorado Shenanigans.

The Colorado trip started off smashingly.  I got off work a little earlier than I had planned which put me on the road around noon.  It’s about a 7.5 hour drive to Tina’s house, so in order to combat the boredness I belted out tunes at the top of my lungs mostly the whole way there.  Because this is what I got to look at for 5 hours:
Very scenic.
I have decided that when I squawk sing All I Want To Do by Sugarland that I sound damn near the same as Jennifer Nettles (lead singer of the band).  It’s quite remarkable. I would record it and share it with you all, but I’ll spare you the ear bleeding.
At one point I was so bored that I seriously contemplated eating a chocolate Snack Pak pudding cup while driving, but had visions of dropping it in my crotch, then looking like I pooped my pants the next time I had to pit stop.  So I ate beef jerky instead. Much better.
Anyway, I get about half way in, right on the state line of CO and KS, and I start to notice the blistering sun is fading behind some pretty dark (and scary) clouds.  I call my friend Tina and am like, “What’s the weather report Chica?”.  She calls back and, no shit, says, “Ummm, well, there’s a tornado warning south of Limon.”  Of course there is.  I’m headed straight for Limon. She suggested that I shut off the MP3 and turn on the radio, just so I don’t drive straight into a tornado and not know it. Christ.  Well, I tried that. No dice. Not one freaking radio station came it. That’s because I’m in B.F.E. western KS/eastern CO where there are more cows than people and cows can’t run a F-ing radio station.  Jeez.  So I grow a pair of the biggest balls and head straight for this:
At this point, I’m seriously contemplating whipping out the margaritas I have stashed in the cooler and just going balls to the wall on the bottle.  I mean, who wants to be sober during this?
I made it through. Thank you Jesus. I drove through 6 inch drifts of HAIL! Yes, HAIL! WTF?!  The interstate was a river. I was afraid my little Hyundai was going to get swallowed up and never be found again.  But, I was nose to ass on a semi and he parted the water like Moses.

Hail sucks.
By the time I got to Tina’s, a very large, very cold brewski was calling my name.  I drank down that sucker like I was stranded in the desert for 40 years.  Yum. Tasty. Tina and I just sat on her back deck all night. Chatting, laughing, talking.  She also got a Walky Dog thingy to put on her bike to walk her pup Sophie. I had to install it for her. And then she needed to make sure it worked, right? Funniest thing ever.

That yellow blur is Sophie. She's fighting ferociously with the rope that
tethers her to the bike.
It was awesome. I never get to do the chatty girly thing in KS because I have no friends.  At least, no girlfriends that are close enough to come over. And lets be honest, Ryan would rather die his hair pretty pink than talk about what new heels I’m going to buy for Tina’s wedding.
Saturday we woke up early (well, I woke up early, Tina and Ryan-her fiancé-woke up around 8:30) and headed out to Red Rocks to take some engagement pictures.  Oh, and Sophie came too! She is the cutest little button on the planet and I have decided that Wyatt and Sophie are boyfriend-girlfriend (even though they’ve never met.) The pictures turned out awesome and I will post some when I get them all worked up.
We headed back to the house, Ryan headed to work, and Tina, Sophie and I decided it was naptime. 3 chicks all passed out on the couch for 2 hours. It was a sight to see.
Isn't she adorable? Perfect for Wyatt.
Saturday night Tina made reservations at the restaurant where Ryan is Head Chef, called Bones.  It’s kinda fancy Asian.  It’s very small, seating only 35 or so people. But you can sit at this little bar right in front of the cooks, so we got to talk to Ryan the whole way through dinner.  This is where the bone marrow came in.  Ryan says to me, “I’m making you Roasted Bone Marrow. You have to try it.” Excuse me?  What did you say? Bone marrow? Ummm, nope. I am a Kansas country girl where steak and potatoes are God, anything else is just wrong, on so many levels.  Marrow? Yeah right, I’ll pass (as I throw up a little in my mouth.)  He was adamant and when he brought it out I about fainted and face-planted on the tile floor. But he said I’d like it, so I trusted him.
And it wasn’t bad.  It tasted like beef and butter. It was like a spread that you put on toast. It was actually pretty good. Now I can cross that off my ‘things to try’ list: “I ate bone marrow and didn’t blow chunks. Check.”
Next was some pork tacos in a kinda pastry thing. With Asian BBQ and scallions.  I think. But they were DE.LISH!
On to the Soba, which was Ahi Tuna, Bell Peppers, Macadamia Nuts, and Avocado in a sweet-soy vinaigrette. Served cold. It was also phenomenal and I damn near ate the whole bowl.  By this point I’m wondering if it’s a bad idea to unbutton my pants in this fancy restaurant.  No one would notice, right?  Well, I didn’t. I try to be somewhat classy and not trashy. Sometimes.
Which I enjoyed with a nice Australian Pilsner. Yum.
After that we had the Udon; Slow cooked pork shoulder, plum-soy broth and a poached egg.  Oh holy goodness. Amazing. Again.
All in all, I ate like it was a 4th of July potluck, wearing elastic pants. But that’s OK, because I was on vacation.
Tina and Me!
The best chef ever. And Tina's fiance, Ryan.

After dinner we went back to Tina’s house. (Which, by the way, was in the Spanish Ghetto of Denver.  Bars on windows and safe things like that.  A little scary. But the Mexican music that played all night was a little comforting.)
Tina and I stayed up till the wee hours on Sunday morning just being a couple chatty Kathy’s. When I woke up, I did not want to go back. I miss that girl like I miss Rocky Road ice cream. It hurts sometimes, it’s so painful.  But I’ll see her in a few months for her bachelorette/bridal shower party thing. Then a few months after than is the wedding.  Yeah!!
It was good short trip, sooo worth it.


  1. Aww, Sophie is precious. Definitely a good fit for Wyatt. :)

    Dude, you're braver than i am. I would have flat out refused the bone marrow!

  2. My mouth is watering. It all sounds so delicious!! I've heard marrow is good, but I have never tried it. I'm excited because I just made reservations at Scarpetta in Vegas for Saturday. I love yummy food! :) Of course, that is part of my problem.


  3. Nice to meet cha, I'm Jen.
    I'll be hanging round these parts more often now that I've formally introduced myself.
    Can't get over the hail, I've never seen drifts of it. Amazing.
    I blew chunks FOR you over the marrow. EeeeWWW!
    I need a doggie walker thingy.
    Your dogs girlfriend is just precious.


  4. Nope - I can't get on the bone marrow band wagon. Nope - just can't but I'm glad you did. Love you!

  5. Sounds like a great trip! Scary drive, though, geez! The picture of the rain wall gave me goose bumps! Glad you made it there and back safely!

  6. Those pics look like something straight out of Storm Chasers. Yikes!

    Ok, so you dodged a tornado and you ate bone marrow. I think you deserve some kind of trophy. At the very least, another beer. ;)

  7. Wow! You have some balls driving into that wall of scariness. I would have turned around. And all that hail. Crazy! Glad you made it safely to your destination. The food all looked amazing!

  8. I'll recommend his restaurant to my friends. They like to try new things and that food looked YUMMY! Thanks for showing it to us. Oh I hope you enjoyed the everchanging weather here in CO!

  9. Wow way to buck up and eat the marrow. I don't know if I could have done that, well maybe if I had something to drink first. That is how I discovered deep fat fried turkey gizzards were pretty good. Beer makes so many things taste better!


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