Sunday, June 12, 2011

Lessons of a running moron + a finished Marathon Challenge.

Two things happened this weekend. One really bad and the other really good.  How they can be so polar opposite of each other, happening only 48 hours apart, only solidifies that my life is somewhat ridiculous.

Firs,t I had the absolutely worst pathetic excuse of basically a glorified walk on Sat. afternoon. Knowing that I had to get 5 miles in sometime on Sat I decided (although subconsciously) that I would be a moron and do everything in my power to make every mistake in the book to make that run horrendous.  Just like any other normal running human being.  Learn from my mistakes people.

Friday night we decided to go out to dinner and I'm sorry Sarah, but I stole Mr. Tortilla Chips out of your bed and we had a one night stand (don't worry Ryan, he means nothing to me.) = Mistake #1.  Then we lit the fire pit.  And I'm putting all blame on the fire pit that I drank around 10 beers and smoked a half a pack of cigs.  Huge Mistake #2. What can I say...genius decisions are made by this girl every day. 
"I'm going to get blitzed tonight so my run tomorrow is like torture. Yay!"

Then if that wasn't bad enough, instead of getting up early on Sat morning and running when it's nice and cool and I'm refreshed...nope, I decide to go to Ryan's Summer Work Event and have movie theater popcorn for breakfast, not one but TWO bowls of frozen custard (with every topping saturating the delicious treat), then 4 pieces of super greasy (but so yummy) pizza. Oh and a bucket of full-fat ranch dressing in there somewhere. Mistakes # 3,4,5 & 6.  After the work function I was in a food coma so I took a nap, hoping that when I woke up I'd feel better about my run.  Not so much. 

By the time I got all my workout gear on, the temp outside felt like 120 degrees. The sun was beating down on the pavement making the heat rising from the ground feel like I just entered the 7th realm of Hell.  But I trudged out (the Devil be damned), thinking that it couldn't be that bad.  Holy buckets of was. Mistake #7.

I made it a whopping 1/2 mile before I thought my lungs were going to combust and shoot flames out of my mouth and my legs were going to just fall off my body and lay in little pools of goo on the sidewalk.  About mile 1.5 there was some shade, which helped my already extremely overheated body, but I still had only run that 1/2 mile...the rest was a measly little walk.  Then at mile 3, I'm about ready to call Ryan to drive the truck and come scrape me off the pavement when I notice that a house has sprinklers on in their yard.  I seriously moved in that direction and about trespassed to do a little happy dance in their spraying water before I saw movement in their window.  Better forgo that little adventure and possible future acquaintance of the Park City PD.  So I made it to a nearby 1976 Winnebago to lean on to get my breath (by this time I've only run about 1 mile and walked the rest) and it was here that I about lost all the frozen custard and pizza that I had inhaled a few hours before.  But I didn't. Thank the sweet Lord.

I managed to make it the full 5 miles. Pretty much walking most of the way. I bet I only ran 1.5 miles of it. This is what I looked like:
Wow. Dead sexy look I've got going on. (BTW...totally wearing a beer tank. Love it.)
That was the worst thing I have ever experienced. But I'm totally proud of myself that I actually made it through.  Hopefully I will learn from this and you will too.

Second is the really good thing.  I DID IT!!! I made it 26.2 miles in 7 days! I bet I ran half of the miles. I'm so proud of myself.  Yes, this morning I woke up to rain, but once the clouds parted I went out and finished up the last 6 miles of my Challenge.  It took me 1 hour and 20 minutes....but hey, that's OK!  I also ran another 2 miles without stopping and probably ran 3.5-4 miles out of the 6. 

How freaking opposite can you be on just 48 hours.  Holy shnikeezes.

Now, I am about to embark on some AMAZING smoked ribs that my hubby is making just for lil' ol' me.  If anyone would like to partake in that action....come on over. I will be on the deck drinking beer.
Peace out homies!


  1. That's freakin awesome that you made it - the whole distance!!! And you're a better woman than I for having made it through the 7 fires of hell of that one run!!

  2. Twirphead - did you learn nothing from my little IV debacle???? I'm glad you are okay and congrats on meeting your goal. I knew you would.

  3. GOOD JOB! I'm so glad you rocked it! Even tho it was 495 degrees yesterday with 150% humidity, and your poor lil lungs about blew up out of your body. :-) I'm glad they didn't!

  4. Tortilla chip thief! (But did you know he has a brother?! His name is Dorito.... OH, hells yes!)

    I'm SO proud of you, Laura! We did it, girl! We did it! (We nearly died, but

    Sarah @ Thinfluenced

  5. Woo hoo, way to go on the marathon challenge! Walking or no, that's still something to be proud of. :)

  6. You are awesome! I'm so proud of you for finishing that SUPER HARD challenge even though you had to push through so much on Saturday. GREAT JOB! word verification to post this comment is "plastered". HAHAHAHAHA!!!


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