Ten Things Thursday

1.    I think I should clarify the Barn from my post the other day. While it was scarier than the freaky clown in IT, it wasn’t like a creaky wooden older than God type barn. It’s a Morton building, made of metal, and only about 10 years old. But there were still spiders. Scary spider bodies. *Double Shivers* Moving on.

2.    I’m pretty sure my co-worker (and friend) Rebecca loves it when I belt out 80s Paula Abdul songs at the top of my lungs.  (She sits two feet away from me.) Not because I’m good (I sound like an 18 year old howling coon dog) but because it’s the funniest shit she’s heard all day.  People laugh at me (and look at me funny). It’s fine.

3.    Do you know that I’m the shyest person on the face of the big blue planet? Bet you thought I was all outgoing and drop dead hilarious in real life, huh? Nope. Not really. Unless I've known you for just about ever and see you on a regular basis, so you already know I'm a weirdo.  I barely say a word around people I don’t know. Sometimes, even around people I do know. And when I do get the courage to say something, it’s usually a smart ass comment that no one but me, myself, and I get.  I also tend to completely morph into other personalities.  But not in the ‘I need to be locked up in the looney bin type way’. It’s like my ‘teddy bear’ when I’m scared; to not be myself but to be what I think people want me to be.  I do it all the time. Half the time I don’t even realize I’m doing it, Ryan has to tell me.  So, to all you people that know me in real life, if I start acting all Mrs. Batty Coocooton, just ignore me and I will eventually loosen up and act like myself.  (Oh, and beer helps the loosening effect too.) *Note: I think me blogging has really allowed myself to open up and be myself, in real life. Because I'm 'myself' on here all the time. And you guys love it, so other people in real life should too, huh? I just need to get some big girl balls and take the plunge to being more myself all the time.

4.    Also, here in Unbalancedtown, I talk to myself.  Out loud.  Sometimes I even answer myself.  I also have full conversations with my dog.  It’s fine.

5.    Last week I completed 18 miles of running/walking out of my 25 mile goal. That’s recockulous. So far this week I’ve gotten 16 miles in, I’m planning on running tomorrow morning making it 21.  I’m inchin’ my way there folks. Really, the strength of my effort to complete my Mileage Goal each week is the equivalent to that of a wet noodle. I don’t know what my deal is.  My next mini goal is to run that 5K I sighed up for (that’s 9 days away-EEK) in less than 34 minutes.  Tuesday morning I tried my very bestest to run as fast as I could w/o face planting the pavement and I still did it in 34 minutes. What the F Running Gods?! Show some damn mercy on a girl!

6.    I shaved Ryan’s head Tuesday night. I earned mega ‘good wifey’ points for that one. It was scary. Clippers scare me. But there’s something about bald heads that make me feel all funny-good inside.  Basically, he looks super hot with a shaved head. Not that he didn’t look hot before. I mean, he just looks more hot. Oh farts, I’m done.

7.    I’ve decided that I need to length my weee little fuse.  I have a habit of immediately judging what’s going to come out of a person’s mouth and whatever it is, it’s going to piss me off.  I need to stop being Bitchy Pants McGee to people that annoy me. Which is almost everyone. There’s just no call for it.  So, as of today I will plaster a total fake smiley face on my ugly mug and pretend that my place of employment is the place where My Little Pony’s live, full of cute blue horses with soft pink hair and rainbows made of sour Jolly Ranchers (because that’s my new obsession food). Praise be to non-bitchy life.

                How 'bout this smile:

Whoa. That's scary.

Oh, yea, that's better. Jeez. Crazy neck veins are cool BTW.

8.    We’re going to the family cabin at Table Rock Lake this weekend. I’m so excited I could just pee my pants.  Nothing but water, skiing, beer, docks, fishing, beer, swimming, friends, beer, food, beer and great family.  And beer. I don’t really need to do any strenuous activities this weekend, but I think I’m going to try to walk up the mountain that is our street a few times.  I’m not shitting you. Biggest hill ever. I’ll take a pic and show you when I get back.

9.    I lost another pound this week. I’m now down to 148.3!! I think this is one of my lowest points in 6 months. I think I have overcome the dreaded….Shhhh….plateau. I bet you that if I get my pooper outta bed tomorrow morning and run that I’ll even lose some more. Who’d’a thought that exercise and eating right can actually make you *gasp* lose weight.  Craziness.

10.  I want to wish everyone a great 4^th of July weekend! Remember the real reason for this celebration is not just a day off work and BBQs and beer, but it’s about our country’s independence.  That being said, go balls to the wall and have a shit-ton of funtasticness!!!!

Just another run on a hot summer night....

To the farmer that planted the corn field on Hap McLean Park Rd.: I added some extra nutrients to one of your corn stalks this evening in the way of my supper.  Your welcome for helping your corn grow better.

To the F-ing doe that *popped* out of the grass field and made my heart stop mid-beat: The next time I see you I will be carrying the biggest baddest rifle Ryan owns to pump you so full of lead that Swiss cheese will have less holes.

This is what shiny looks like:

Holy Sweaty Shitballs, I didn't realize I looked so...appealing. I apologize for putting you all through that. It won't happen again.

Praise be to chocolate covered Oreos and Belgium waffles with whipped cream. (Two of which I haven't seen since Christmas.)

Amen.

Lunch, I'm a cheater, + Satan's Humble Abode....

This is some of the amazingness that I had for lunch today. Because I know you all are sitting on the edge of your office chairs waiting for me to post what I'm shoving down my gullet. Just roll with me here.

Ok, I realize that I'd pretty much mowed through half of it before I took a picture, but still, you get the idea. It's a Greek Salad with mostly cucumbers, green peppers, tomatoes, black olives, red onions, a little lettuce and (my secret love obsession) feta cheese. Watch out Feta, I'm stalking you like Mr. Kool-Aid stalks 5 year olds.  I also got chicken on it for a little protein.  OH. MY. LOVEHANDLES. This is so good. And this monstrous container was FULL and they call it a 'medium'. Whah??? I'd qualify this Extra Large, thank you very much.  Being the extremely strong and full of willpower person that I am I only ate half.  Ya, when Porky flies. I took one for the team and plowed through 3/4 of it before I ended up breaking my plastic fork in half so I wouldn't eat any more. 

Oh, and what really makes this salad (besides the feta) is the best, ok, lets be real, it's the totally INSANELY ORGASMIC Greek dressing. Complete with fresh dill. FRESH DILL PEOPLE. Need I say more.

Ummm, yes, they gave me a bathtub of dressing and I seriously contemplated just drinking it out of the container. Screw the veggies. As you can see, I successfully accomplished consuming half the container. My ass will thank me later for indulging in all that oil blissfulness.

You bet your ass I saved the measly little that was left for an afternoon snack.  It's sitting in the mini fridge now....whispering sweet nothings to me. (Damn it, I'm hearing food voices again. Crank over the padded van and pick me up.)

Semi-off subject. (I know I change gears like a 312 lb trucker driving through the mountains.) I took the above pics with a new camera. Yes, I got another one. Again. 

I have a confession.....I have betrayed the Sweet Canon Camera Gods....I have purchased a Nikon. 
Where's that padded van? Because I am now certifiably looney tunes.

See, I'm a Canon girl.  All the way. Canon and I lost our virginity together way back in the day and I professed my lifelong love and commitment to him at the time (sorry Ryan, I do love another, but not more than you).  I have now committed adultery. I am a cheater. Ohhhh, Holy pink popsicle dicks.

I traded my newish little Canon point and shoot (that I just bought a month ago)for a new Nikon Coolpix.  (Ashton Kutcher I blame you and your damn good looks!)

The Canon just wasn't focusing right. I didn't like it. OMG, I can't believe I just typed that.  So, I decided to go with a Nikon, just to see if it's better.  So far, so good.

In other news, this is my world right now, according to The Weather Channel:

You can't see it on here, but humidity is at 50%. Just lovely.

I have taken residence in Satan's house.

Just shoot me.

Poo Weekend, Ben & Jerry sadness, + Pictures!!!

First of all, I just want to say that I've figured out why we are all friends and get along SOOO well.  We all like sand in our ass cracks and we want to lick nachos off Ryan Reynolds in between mai tai sips.

Mystery of our bloggy friendship existence solved.  All thanks to a little post about Mr. Reynolds.

Second, I have to tell you about my weekend, last weekend.  (Draz, you might want to skip this little long story. It involves subjects you don't much care for.) We went to Jewel's house (that would be my somewhat ditzy totally random but truly loveable mother), and you know we can't go there and have a normal every day experience.  There has to be some sort of craziness goin' on.  Oh....and there was.  

Ryan (my hubby, not Reynolds) and I pull up from our 2.5 hour trip to the Rez (my Mom lives on an Indian Reservation) from our beloved, but sweltering, Wichita with big plans of fishing at the pond and drinking endless cans of Bud Light from our already stocked cooler. Well, that plan…not so much. As we pull up, Mom is flapping her arms and Hardy (Mom's BF) is hauling a hose across the yard.  We step out of the truck and Mom says, "The sewer is backed up. It flooded the basement. We can't run any water."  Holy shit. Literally.

And I gotta pee! I’ve been freaking holding it for 2 hours now. (Not that I have any qualms about peeing in the bushes, but if there’s a potty around, I’d much prefer that.)

Well, we figured out, quickly thank the potty Gods, that the barn bathroom works and we could use those facilities.  Yes, you read correctly, I wrote BARN.  The only problem with the barn bathroom, actually there are multiple problems, which include #1: it hasn’t been cleaned in about 8 months (not that we’re a gross family or anything, it’s just that no one uses it because we have perfectly good potty’s in the house) and #2 there are bugs.  Lots and lots of bugs. Dead bugs. Alive bugs. BUGS. I don’t do bugs.  Especially spiders. And the barn bathroom is a spider metropolis. *shivers*  

But….I still gotta pee. I mean, at this point I’m dancing the little potty dance. So I grab the Clorox, also a light bulb (because Lord knows we can’t have light in there, it has to be as scary as possible in that I have to go into the spider metropolis damn near blind because of a damn burnt out light bulb) and all the courage in the free world to step foot in the den of darkness. First, I damn near fall off the step ladder because A. I’m still doing the potty dance and B. when I pulled the light cover down….yep, you guessed it…dead spider bodies. *BIG shivers*

The light went in; I climbed down the ladder w/o breaking my sweet neck and proceeded to turn my attention to the toilet.  Holy Mother of grimy ass caskets. There are dead bugs on the seat. THERE’S DEAD BUGS ON. THE. SEAT.! What do I do? What do I do?  Call Ryan. No, he’ll think I’m a wussy girl. And we all know I’m no wuss.  Ughhhh, damn my pride.

Then comes the Clorox bottle. I freaking laid that sanitizing amazingness down like a 6 inch layer of snow. Then I waited. Watched it tear into that grime and dead bug guts like a pro.  Then I doused it again.  At that point, I felt mildly more comfortable wiping up the sludge.  I continued the spray-fest and wiping till that bowl was a sparkly throne fit for Queen Elizabeth. (BTW, the whole time I’m still shaking my ass and bouncing up and down and wiggling my feet like a 6 year old girl trying to ‘hold it’.) 

With the bathroom clean and my business done, I decided to inspect the basement. It can’t be that bad…right?  Ohhhhh, it was. TP everywhere! Sweet Jesus.  Luckily it stayed mostly on the concrete and didn’t overflow to the carpet.  But still. There were carpet swatches on the concrete that needed to be hauled out to the garage and sprayed off; Mom and I got that job done while the boys went to dump the trash.  I’m pretty sure we got screwed on that deal. 

Once all was cleared out, Ryan and I finally snuck down to the pond to get a little fishing in before it was too dark. And to drink the now MUCH NEEDED Bud Light.

However, drinking all that beer probably wasn’t the brightest idea when you need to use the facilities and you have to walk outside to the barn (because, of course, the plumber wasn’t able to come until the next day).  I never said I was a genius people.  And that’s exactly what happened…..3 TIMES. Who pees 3 times in the middle of the night except geriatrics that are over 85 and someone with a bladder disorder?  Jeez.  It couldn’t just be a normal, walk out of the house and toodle over to the barn and you’re done. Nope. Its: walk out in the complete pitch black night, trying not to trip over the three humongous dogs that lay right by the back door, then pray to the Good Almighty that you don’t accidently step in dog poo on your trek through the grass to the barn.  Oh my God. Can my life get any better?  Oh, ya, it can. Because when I woke up, cranky as all Hell from lack of sleep, complaining about my 3 trips to the potty, my adorable (and I'm being a smart ass here) husband says, “Well, I just went out the basement back door.”  Of course you did. Because you’re a boy and boys are graced with the facilities to pee outdoors without squatting in God knows what silently fretting that a spider doesn't crawl up your hoo ha. Christ. 

The plumber did come Saturday morning. Fixed the clog. Life turned all daisy’s and rainbows. I got to shower. And I didn’t have to venture to the Satan spider den ever again. 

This really is my life. 

On another note: We need to bow our heads because there has been a loss.  Yes, Ben and Jerry (my thighs) have a lost an inch of their girth. Silence please.  OK….WOO HOO! That’s what I’m talking about bitches!! A whole INCH. And I lost another .5 lb! Today is a good day.

Lastly, I promised some engagement pictures of my besty Tina and Ryan. Well, here’s a sneak peak.  

Could they be any more cute?!?! I’m so thrilled with the pics! And they love them too. All in all, another successful photo shoot!

Ok, I'm off like a prom dress.
Peace out homey's!

Mai Tai's, Ryan's, and Nachos. All a girl needs.

I'm channeling a beach on a secluded island with palm trees, mai tai's, and lounge chairs right now.  Complete with being spoon-fed mint chocolate chip ice cream by Ryan Reynolds. Shirtless, of course.

For your viewing pleasure.

After I'm full of that blissfulness, I will retreat to my tiki hut (that sits over the water) and my Ryan and I will do fun things for many hours. Afterward we will take long walks on the beach at sunset.  Where we will find a kazillion dollars and will never have to leave the beach again.

Of course you can Wyatt. You can become my little beach bunny puppy.

I will certainly be famished after all the above. So I will eat this:

Extra Jalapenos please.

 And I will not gain an ounce because these nachos are special....The have no fat or calories or sodium or anything. They are like eating air. Only crunchy. And spicy.

Oh, and did I mention that I would do this every day for at least 6 weeks?  Variations on the food of course.

Oh why oh why can't my fantasies come true, just a little bit?

The End....of my fantasies...for today.

BYOC- Bring Your Own Crazy

It's FRIDAY so that means it's BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy!  We answer a couple of questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break!  Copy and paste and answer in your own blogs if you'd like!!  ENJOY!!

1.  What’s your favorite room in your house?
Ummm, I'd have to say my living room. Our first furniture buy was our living room couch and chase lounge.  It is that microfiber swede stuff and quite possibly the comfiest thing EVAH! Plus I can watch TV, spy on our crazy neighbor out the window, and I'm only a few feet from the fridge (beer refills people). What more do you need!

2.  Picture question (or describe if you don't have a camera).  Show us a pic of your current favorite earrings!

OK I don't wear earrings all that often. I don't have any on now.  I can never to remember to put them on.  I barely remember to put my wedding ring on.  It used to be better when I had my jewelry box sitting on the dresser, all out in the open, so I noticed that I actually had jewelry to wear. But then we got a TV for the bedroom. And my box got kicked to the curb to make room for the TV. Really, its on the second to the bottom shelf in my closet where I have to become a Cirque de Soleil crazy painted acrobatic chick to retrieve anything out of it. (Ryan: Project #341: I want my jewelry box back on the dresser, find something to do with the TV.)

But out of all my earrings, right now my favs are these little silver dangly ones that look like a little Greek pillars but the width of a toothpick hanging from my ear.  They're fab.

3.  What’s your dress code at work? If you stay at home and went back to work outside the home, what dress code would you prefer?

First, for the entire company: we can't wear sleeveless shirts, open toed shoes (WTH! I can't believe I even took this job knowing that), and of course no ripped up crap.  That being said, each department in my company is different. My department you can pretty much wear whatever you want. I usually wear KSU t-shirts and jeans with my slip-on Cabela's shoes. Very drab. Some days I'll get all fancy and wear a fitted T with my Bling Jeans.  But last time I did that, the printer puked on me and ruined it. So I've been boycotting nice clothes since. (Basically I'm lazy and don't care what I look like at work because the only people that see me are my 3 little employees in my department.)

4.  Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.   
Blogland: (I can't get the bold to turn off, so you'll just have to deal with bold type. stupid blogger) Anyway, I've 'met' a lot of new peeps this week. I got like 16 new followers since last week and I'm so excited and just so....pee in my pants giddy!  And because of that I'm now following a ton of new people and just love it.  I've got a few challenges still going on that I've talked a little about: one being the Minute Challenge, most minutes exercised in June wins (against my bestie/coolest chick Draz). don't know what I'll get when I win (ha, get that little slip in) but I'm still excited.  Also trying to run/walk 25 miles each week. So far this week I've got 12 miles. I don't think I'll make the 25, but I'll be close. 

Real life: I signed up for a 5K. I'll say it again...holy crap.  But I'm excited. I ran a practice run on Wed and made it in 34 min. YEAH!  I've been eating donuts.  What the hell is wrong with me.  I've been STARVING all the time and tired as hell. I think it's a hormone thing, but still. It's so frustrating to be hungry when you know you don't need to eat.  And I could fall asleep at my desk. Right. This. Minute. WHY?!?! Stupid women things. Next week will be better.

Oh, and I get to eat at my all time favorite restaurant this weekend, Hibachi Hut (Tessie-it's that Cajun food place that's no where near the 'South'. It's so good though!! Almost as good as New Orleans Cajun. Almost.) I'll totally take pics. Ryan will kill me. (Sometimes, well, more than just sometimes, I think he's embarrassed to be seen in public with me. I have no idea why. Whipping your camera out in public to take pictures of food stuffs is normal right?) 

This weekend we take yet another road trip to see my mom and brother.  So, I was thinking, my mom only lives 2 miles from a casino.....why not run to the casino, drop money that I don't have into a few slot machines (praying the whole time I'll win it big on the penny machines and can buy at least the heel of one new shoe), maybe have a bloody mary, and run back to my moms.  Crazy? Ya, probably. 


Have a great weekend ya'll!!!

Ten Things Thursday

1.     I signed up for my first 5K.  Holy crap. It’s the Cookie Daze 5K in Newton,KS on July 9th @ 8:00am. Holy crap. I think I’m hyperventilating.  No, seriously, I’m excited. I ran a 5K (or 3.125 miles) this morning and made it in 34 minutes. WHAT?! Who is this person?  It can’t be the girl who chose to participate in ONE sport in high school, which was tennis, because that’s the sport that the coaches made you run the least amount.  No joke. We ran around the block and that was it. Now I’m running 5K’s. What the hell.

2.    Warning: Total bitchy rant: I recently purchased some bathing suits from Newport News magazine (which I’ve purchased before). They are cheap, they fit well, and I like the styles.  Well, some didn’t fit so well, so I returned them…..on MAY 19^th!  I still haven’t gotten a refund. So I call yesterday to see what’s up.  Well, Newport News, Spiegel and Shape Fx have filed Chapter 11.  Do you know what that means? Because I sure don’t. But the asswipe foreign lady (that talked like she had a freaking donut in her mouth) on the phone informed me that under the Chapter 11 ‘protection’ law, I will not receive my refund because the company is basically bankrupt.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  I said fine, then I want my merchandise that I paid for. She replied, “Well, I can put in a request for you, but it’s highly unlikely that will be allowed.”  That’s when I spewed a crap-ton of curse words at her and said, “Well, fine, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll ever do business with your company or any of their affiliates ever again. And you better start looking for different employment because YOUR COMPANY SUCKS GREEN MONKEY BALLS and won’t be able to afford to pay you the measly $2 an hour that your getting for sitting on your ass and being a cranky ho-bag!” Ok, I think I went a little overboard. But Christ. Now I’m out 20 bucks. That coulda bought a 30-pack people.

3.    My brother and his wifey Jennifer are having a Diapes and Wipes baby shower this weekend for their first baby boy.  He is to be born on July 25^th. We, as in anyone other than Mike, Jennifer, and Trinity (their daughter), are not privileged enough to know the name because we are peasants. What the crap is that? Now, all I think about is what my new nephew’s name is going to be. Could it be Banjo Patrick? Or Rocket Valentino? Or Audio Science? All real baby boy names, BTW, I looked it up. It’s perplexing to say the least. But I’m super excited to see them and have beer and bbq. Because life is just better with beer and bbq and SIL’s that look too cute to be true preggers.

4.    I’ve been walking around my office and work buildings today like a duck. Why? Oh, because it’s the cool kid thing to do. You should all try it, and then send me pictures. Really, my hips feel like I did the splits holding a 134 lb tree log over my head and stayed in that position for 18 hours. Like those world champion weightlifting/power lifting weirdo dudes on ESPN. The only way to walk is with my semi-large pooper jutted out like a pimple on a sixteen year old boy’s face and to bend over having my acorns practically touch my knees. (This is quite an accomplishment just in itself.) Damn you running 10 miles in 12 hours on concrete after sitting on said pooper for a week. (I even stretched. Didn’t do diddily, obviously.)

5.    I just looked up ‘Diddily’ to see if I spelled it right and this is what Urban Dictionary say’s one meaning is:

1. C-Diddily

A person in Kansas who knows he is white but purposely takes the nickname of a seemingly ghetto origin. Short for Cole D.

What up C-Diddily?
You were killed by C-Diddily with an AK-47 ---->Seriously??
Shit son its C-Diddily (Now can’t you just picture gramps sittin’ on the porch in a wife beater and his teeth laying at the bottom of his glass of Old Milwaukee's Best and saying this?)

Oh my.

6.    My friend Rebecca (who unfortunately I have to work with every day, it’s just torture) brought me a ISOPURE protein drink this morning. She’s been using it after her workouts and loves it. I can’t wait to try it!

40g of protein, WHAT?! 160 Cal, no sugar, no fat. Pure awesome-pawesome.

 

 

7.    I needed a little giggle today, so I went through some of my old posts and found this one about my mom taking her ‘herd’ to the vet. It’s downright cry your eye’s out hilarious. Some of you have probably read it, but some newbies probably haven’t. (It's about half way down.)

8.    Oh, and any badass new people that are following me: Make sure you link your email to your blogger profile page (and make sure it’s correct) because I’ve tried to email a few of you back that have commented and I can’t find an email.  Now,it could be that I’m about as computer literate as an 8 year old boy from the Kenyan desert, but just double check, will ya?  Also, make sure there’s a link to your blog, if you have one. Because I love to follow peeps that follow me! And if I’m not following you, send me an email. STAT! (Just click on Account, top right, then on the Settings next to Blogger, click the boxes for ‘Share email address’ and ‘Share my blog’.)

9.    I’m a farmer. I plant things and they grow. Like Jack and the Bean Stock grow.  I will be farting cucumber seeds for 3 years with all the cucs that are blooming in my little garden.  Oh, and tomato seeds too. Because the 4 little tomato plants I planted are kickin’ out some major toms. I mean….HUGE.  And my carrots?! Holy sweet orange colored spears of loveliness. I had, just HAD to pick one the other day. It was the best damn thing I’ve ever eaten in my life I tell ya! (Not biased at all.)  You all just wait. Canning lessons, with full-on pictures, are going to be gracing this lovely purple blahgy page soon.

10.  There are only 8 more days of National Bathroom Reading Month. Grab a book, magazine, or blog post and enjoy your pooper visit.

 THE END.

Colorado Shenanigans.

The Colorado trip started off smashingly.  I got off work a little earlier than I had planned which put me on the road around noon.  It’s about a 7.5 hour drive to Tina’s house, so in order to combat the boredness I belted out tunes at the top of my lungs mostly the whole way there.  Because this is what I got to look at for 5 hours:

Very scenic.

I have decided that when I squawk sing All I Want To Do by Sugarland that I sound damn near the same as Jennifer Nettles (lead singer of the band).  It’s quite remarkable. I would record it and share it with you all, but I’ll spare you the ear bleeding.

At one point I was so bored that I seriously contemplated eating a chocolate Snack Pak pudding cup while driving, but had visions of dropping it in my crotch, then looking like I pooped my pants the next time I had to pit stop.  So I ate beef jerky instead. Much better.

Anyway, I get about half way in, right on the state line of CO and KS, and I start to notice the blistering sun is fading behind some pretty dark (and scary) clouds.  I call my friend Tina and am like, “What’s the weather report Chica?”.  She calls back and, no shit, says, “Ummm, well, there’s a tornado warning south of Limon.”  Of course there is.  I’m headed straight for Limon. She suggested that I shut off the MP3 and turn on the radio, just so I don’t drive straight into a tornado and not know it. Christ.  Well, I tried that. No dice. Not one freaking radio station came it. That’s because I’m in B.F.E. western KS/eastern CO where there are more cows than people and cows can’t run a F-ing radio station.  Jeez.  So I grow a pair of the biggest balls and head straight for this:

At this point, I’m seriously contemplating whipping out the margaritas I have stashed in the cooler and just going balls to the wall on the bottle.  I mean, who wants to be sober during this?

I made it through. Thank you Jesus. I drove through 6 inch drifts of HAIL! Yes, HAIL! WTF?!  The interstate was a river. I was afraid my little Hyundai was going to get swallowed up and never be found again.  But, I was nose to ass on a semi and he parted the water like Moses.



Hail sucks.

By the time I got to Tina’s, a very large, very cold brewski was calling my name.  I drank down that sucker like I was stranded in the desert for 40 years.  Yum. Tasty. Tina and I just sat on her back deck all night. Chatting, laughing, talking.  She also got a Walky Dog thingy to put on her bike to walk her pup Sophie. I had to install it for her. And then she needed to make sure it worked, right? Funniest thing ever.

That yellow blur is Sophie. She's fighting ferociously with the rope that
tethers her to the bike.

It was awesome. I never get to do the chatty girly thing in KS because I have no friends.  At least, no girlfriends that are close enough to come over. And lets be honest, Ryan would rather die his hair pretty pink than talk about what new heels I’m going to buy for Tina’s wedding.

Saturday we woke up early (well, I woke up early, Tina and Ryan-her fiancé-woke up around 8:30) and headed out to Red Rocks to take some engagement pictures.  Oh, and Sophie came too! She is the cutest little button on the planet and I have decided that Wyatt and Sophie are boyfriend-girlfriend (even though they’ve never met.) The pictures turned out awesome and I will post some when I get them all worked up.

We headed back to the house, Ryan headed to work, and Tina, Sophie and I decided it was naptime. 3 chicks all passed out on the couch for 2 hours. It was a sight to see.

Isn't she adorable? Perfect for Wyatt.

Saturday night Tina made reservations at the restaurant where Ryan is Head Chef, called Bones.  It’s kinda fancy Asian.  It’s very small, seating only 35 or so people. But you can sit at this little bar right in front of the cooks, so we got to talk to Ryan the whole way through dinner.  This is where the bone marrow came in.  Ryan says to me, “I’m making you Roasted Bone Marrow. You have to try it.” Excuse me?  What did you say? Bone marrow? Ummm, nope. I am a Kansas country girl where steak and potatoes are God, anything else is just wrong, on so many levels.  Marrow? Yeah right, I’ll pass (as I throw up a little in my mouth.)  He was adamant and when he brought it out I about fainted and face-planted on the tile floor. But he said I’d like it, so I trusted him.

And it wasn’t bad.  It tasted like beef and butter. It was like a spread that you put on toast. It was actually pretty good. Now I can cross that off my ‘things to try’ list: “I ate bone marrow and didn’t blow chunks. Check.”

Next was some pork tacos in a kinda pastry thing. With Asian BBQ and scallions.  I think. But they were DE.LISH!

On to the Soba, which was Ahi Tuna, Bell Peppers, Macadamia Nuts, and Avocado in a sweet-soy vinaigrette. Served cold. It was also phenomenal and I damn near ate the whole bowl.  By this point I’m wondering if it’s a bad idea to unbutton my pants in this fancy restaurant.  No one would notice, right?  Well, I didn’t. I try to be somewhat classy and not trashy. Sometimes.

Which I enjoyed with a nice Australian Pilsner. Yum.

After that we had the Udon; Slow cooked pork shoulder, plum-soy broth and a poached egg.  Oh holy goodness. Amazing. Again.

All in all, I ate like it was a 4^th of July potluck, wearing elastic pants. But that’s OK, because I was on vacation.

Tina and Me!

The best chef ever. And Tina's fiance, Ryan.

After dinner we went back to Tina’s house. (Which, by the way, was in the Spanish Ghetto of Denver.  Bars on windows and safe things like that.  A little scary. But the Mexican music that played all night was a little comforting.)

Tina and I stayed up till the wee hours on Sunday morning just being a couple chatty Kathy’s. When I woke up, I did not want to go back. I miss that girl like I miss Rocky Road ice cream. It hurts sometimes, it’s so painful.  But I’ll see her in a few months for her bachelorette/bridal shower party thing. Then a few months after than is the wedding.  Yeah!!

It was good short trip, sooo worth it.